


War on Titan

by Kumikoko



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - War, Armin saves himself, Blow Jobs, Breaking stereotypes, Domestic Fluff, Eren is Armin's soft place to fall, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, First Kiss, Gang Rape, Germany, Historical Fantasy, M/M, Poison, Profanity, Russians, Slow Burn, WWIII, carrot abuse, papa erwin, river sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-03-18 06:57:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 117,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13676595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kumikoko/pseuds/Kumikoko
Summary: When World War Three breaks out, a lone German village comes under attack.





	1. Potato Town

**Author's Note:**

> Initially I wanted to write a historical fanfiction set in World War I, and when I couldn't find the information I wanted, I traveled to World War II research and I still was not comfortable with what I wanted to do so I ventured towards World War III conspiracies and while I found nothing interesting, I have settled on the World War III concept to place my fanfiction in. In the fanfiction, I give a brief background of which countries are fighting each other and why. I'd like to point out that if a World War 3 ever occurred, I honestly have no idea which countries would actually pair up. 
> 
> This is a short introduction chapter, to the world, some of the characters, and the issues that will arise in future chapters. If you can get past the introduction, you'll see it's actually a story. 
> 
> This ultimately is a work of fiction and I do not own any of the characters.

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 1: Potato Town**

World War III.

Everyone knew it would happen. It was only ever a matter of when.

Democrats blamed republicans, who blamed them right back. Atheists blamed Religion, who in turn blamed atheists. Racists blamed other racists.

No one ever stopped to blame themselves for promoting their own bullshit, ignorant agendas.

America and Russia teamed together to fight against the political leaders of Germany one more time, who stood between them, and the Arab nations. Germany’s ignorant, female leader was protecting the Arab nations, at the expense of its own people. America and Russia knew that to protect their own countries from the Arabs, they would first have to protect Germany from its poorly elected leaders. Once the German people were freed of the Muslims raping, and pillaging their lands, America and Russia could bomb all of the problematic Arab countries without flak from other world powers.

That was the goal; Save the world from the insidious Muslims, who presented a threat to all non-Muslims.  

This war mantra caused riots in the streets, and sent the internet into a tweeting tizzy. The peck peons in sheep skin rallied together in loud, violent protests to protect Muslims. All their life, they had been told that the Muslims were peaceful. History showed a completely different story, one that had been paved with blood from the very beginning.

Most people had long forgotten the atrocities that the Muslims had committed throughout time. The Spanish were not amongst them. They remembered the oppression of their ancestors, and had never forgotten. For this reason, Spain fought alongside America, and Russia. They frothed at the mouth to give the Arabs a taste of their own cruelty. For the proud Spanish, this was a war of vengeance, whilst America and Russia aimed to protect their countries, and its diverse citizens from the Muslim invaders.

In war, no matter how just, or how heroic, no one wins in the end. There are always casualties, and unexpected consequences because there is nothing worse than a good intention gone wrong. It was these very intentions that devastated Germany, and its citizens, who had already been embroiled in an  war with the foreign “refugees.”

Nestled deep within the Thuringian Basin, surrounded by a wide outer girdle of limestone ridges, was a lone farming town that had been forgotten by time. Potato Town had not seen visitors in hundreds of years, until recently. The local lore was that if potatoes were regularly offered to the Gods, their village would remain untouched by the outside world.

“Ah, I don’t believe in any of that stuff.” One unruly, brunette haired boy quipped, as he puffed his chest out. He was fifteen, and he knew everything there was to know about the world around him. He was not about to leave a potato outside of his front door so that it could be magically whisked away by some entity that he could not see with his own green eyes.

“But you must, Eren!” His best friend, Armin, a blonde, blue-eyed boy pressed, with worry flickering through his eyes.

“Or what? Demons will invade our village and rape us? Murder us?” Eren challenged, tired of hearing adults warn about the dangers of angering the potato God. He was laying on the grass, with his arms behind his head, as he stared at the wide, blue sky above him.

“Well,” Armin began, sitting down next to him, and folded his legs to sit Indian style. “Think about it, Eren. My parents refused to offer a potato for the annual potato harvest, and then those dark skinned men came the day after. They murdered people. Raped the women, children, and goats. Grandpa even said they wanted me, but he shot the one intruder with that gun.” Armin recalled, waving his hand around for emphasis as he spoke. Eren frowned, remembering that dark day in their history.

“That was a coincidence.” Eren scoffed haughtily, dismissing the connection Armin pointed out to him.

“Maybe it is. But if not for Grandpa being in the possession of illegal guns, our entire town would have been taken over by those men. He saved us all, you know, and then the elders made it a point to make sure we all understood the importance of offering up potatoes to the Gods. And if I recall, you slept through that discussion.” Armin recounted, leaning back on his hands.

“Then let’s test it. I’ll deny the Gods their potato sacrifice, and we’ll see if they punish us or not. And if they do, I’ll become their loudest voice.” Eren suggested, crossing one leg over the other. A gentle wind brushed past the two young, innocent boys.

“I’d rather not, Eren. It sounds like you’re playing with fire and I don’t want to get burnt again.” Armin murmured, and self-consciously rubbed at a scar on his hand. He had learned better than to follow Eren’s mischievous deeds blindly. Eren noticed Armin was rubbing the scar again, and reached out, placing his hand over Armin’s knee.

“Hey, I am sorry about that. You know I never meant to hurt you.” Eren apologized softly, rubbing his thumb across his best friends knee in soothing rubs. Armin shied away, and pulled his legs against his chest, becoming withdrawn.

“That doesn’t change the fact that it happened. And it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want you to do this, but you’re going to do it anyways, and then we might all be doomed.” Armin griped bitterly, feeling helpless and uncertain about his future. It was not like Armin believed in the Potato Gods, but he knew that every time someone did not offer a potato, something bad tended to happen. And it had happened enough to make the clever blonde boy concerned.

“Ugh, be like that if you want to. I know you don’t believe in the Potato Gods and I’ll remind you why you don’t in the morning.” Eren huffed, letting his unchecked teenage hormones eat the sympathy he felt, and transition them into anger. He stood up, and stomped off, because he was fifteen, and he had life all figured out.

With a heavy sigh, Armin began to pluck the wild flowers near him, and delicately, but intricately began to string them together into a flower crown. He placed it over his head, and hoped that it would protect him from the potential harm Eren was going to recklessly unleash on to the town. He stood up then, and descended down the hill, towards home.

The luscious, vibrant potato fields stretched for miles.

Armin’s family had owned the entire potato field once, which had been passed down from generation, to generation. But in recent years, with the murder of Armin’s parents, and the passing of his grandmother, Armin and his grandfather could not keep up with the extensive, laborious work. His grandfather ended up selling most of the farmland, to those who did have the time to plant, nurture, and harvest potatoes. They had a mere miles worth of potatoes left to grow, which was still too much work for an elderly man, and a young child. Armin was older these days, but he wasn’t suited for farm work, despite his aptitude for it.

Grandfather always said he ought to have a book in those delicate hands, and not a hoe. He had said that if the rest of the family had not perished, he would have allowed Armin to wittle the days away with books. Unfortunately, someone had to plow the fields and water the crops, and he couldn’t do it himself so Armin _had_ to help.

 It was their way of life after. 

The town grew crops, and raised animals to sustain each other. In that way, everyone knew everyone, and had since the town was formed. Armin even knew that incestuous families were not uncommon. Some families liked to stick together.

One consistent theme in the village was that there was always a man, and there was always a woman. And potatoes. Lots, and lots of potatoes. Everything was simple in the sleepy potato town. Armin liked it this way because he could retreat into his own mind, and ponder whether spiders thrived in the clouds as well as they did on the ground. He stopped at the family well, and heaved to draw up the bucket, so he could sip the water.

Family wells were common, and normally, the water was boiled before being used in cooking.  

When Armin’s thirst had been satiated, he wandered around to the side of the house, where a separate, large bucket of water sat, waiting for him. He knelt down, and lifted a shirt that had been soaking in the water, and then scrubbed it on the washboard. Since his grandfather dealt with the majority of the farm work, Armin was left to take on traditional woman roles of the house when he was not needed in the fields.

As farmers, their clothes often became stained with grass, and dirt. It had taken Armin quite awhile to figure out how to properly remove the stains on his own. He hadn’t wanted to ask any of the neighborly females down the road because they would pity him more than they already did. Armin grimaced at that thought, and stretched to hang the shirt up to dry on the clothesline, that stretched from the house, to the small gardening tool shed.

All of the families had clotheslines. It was normal, to Armin. He crouched back down, and began to scrub the rest of the clothes, and hang them up, one by one. This was a chore he tended to avoid. The cool water dried his hands out, and made them crack.

He nursed them against his chest for a moment, and wondered for the hundredth time if the local women had lotions that would soothe his hands. He would only have to ask, but then they would flock around him and mother him in ways that hurt his dignity, and belittled his pride.

 _Damn it_. Armin cursed silently as he saw one of the local hen mothers approaching him. _It must be Sunday_. Armin realized, spotting the cooking pot in her hands. _I hope she made that noodle broth_. Armin found himself hoping reluctantly, as he stood up and casually rested his trembling hands at his sides, to hide the dry skin. He did not want anyone to see how useless he was. 

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Schmidt.” Armin greeted, forcing a smile on to his face that did not reach his pained, troubled eyes. 

“And a good afternoon to you, Little One. How are you faring out here by your lonesome, with your Opa working the fields?” Mrs. Schmidt asked, with a conversational tone, and balanced the cooking pot in one arm, so she could freely pinch his cheek.

It took every ounce of self-control Armin had to refrain from frowning, and pulling away from her. She didn’t seem to understand that he was fourteen. He didn’t thrive off of cute nicknames, and cheek pinching. More then that, Armin wanted to be independent. 

“Just fine.” Armin lied easily, and peered around her momentarily to make sure no other women had come to dote on him. “Is it Sunday again?” Armin wondered aloud, refocusing on her, and feigned ignorance to the fact that she returned every Sunday, with more left overs.

“Why, it sure is. And since I feel terrible your mother isn’t around anymore to cook for you, I want to make sure you get a bite to eat somedays. I have here the left overs of my noodle soup. There’s potatoes, and a few carrots. You’ll have to fight your grandfather for them.” Mrs. Schmidt chimed, and winked at Armin teasingly, as she held the cooking pot out towards him.

Left overs. Armin barely repressed another frown. Some of the women made special, specific meals for Armin and his grandfather to eat. But Mrs. Schmidt, nice as she was, made it a point to feed the skinny boy left overs. As if that concept was not humiliating. Left overs were given to the local dogs. They werent meant to be offered to a hungry child.

 _I am hungry._ Armin felt shame spread across his face as he reluctantly accepted the pot. He hated himself for taking someone’s _left overs_. To be in such a position in life that he couldn’t politely reject the gift weighed on his conscious. He stared at the pot. 

This wasn't right. Armin did not grow, nor buy this food himself. Only lazy, selfish mooches took things that did not belong to them. Armin's hands trembled as he thought of what a bad person he was for accepting the pot of food. 

And as if to remind him of that unsettling fact, his stomach growled as soon as he inhaled the scent of food. Cooked food. He wouldn’t be eating bread tonight. Nor another dry, simple potato, left over from last harvest. If he was lucky, the soup would be _salted_. Armin's mouth watered at the pleasant thought. 

“Oh, you’re so cute when you blush. What a dear you are. You poor, poor boy.” Mrs. Schmidt gushed, as she ruffled Armin’s hair. She, maybe deliberately misread the emoitions displayed on Armin's face. 

There it was. The pity. The pity that rubbed him the wrong way. The pity that reminded him of how broken, and fucked up his life was. Armin felt his eyes burn hot. He blinked furiously, and tried to compose himself, but fuck, after his fight with Eren, he was sensitive, and left raw from cleaning the laundry. 

Other boys did not have to wash clothes or sweep the house clean of dust. Eren and others had the freedom to run around the gorgeous strawberry fields and stare at the clouds. All Armin wanted to do was curl up on the windowseal and read books. Maybe childishly, Armin felt that life wasn't fair, and that Mrs. Schmidt kept reminding him of that.

“Ah, Mrs. Schmidt. It is good to see you.” Armin heard his grandfather’s voice, and silently thanked the Potato God he didn’t believe in for the gracious distraction. Mr. Arlert must have noticed Mrs. Schmidt approach and knew Armin would not want to be left alone with her for long so he stopped his field work to come to Armin's rescue. 

“Mr. Arlert! Your boy is so shy, and charming. I just love him so, you know.” Mrs. Schmidt enthused, and tried to pull Armin against her in a hug. Armin reflexively dodged, which implied he knew how to avoid being womenhandled. He ran towards the house.

“Thank you Mrs. Schmidt for everything! I better heat this up.” Armin called as he fled, and did not look back. He pushed open the back door of the house and rushed in, feeling nauseous and overwhelmed. Armin carelessly placed the cooking pot on the table, and from a shelf he stretched to, he hastily tore down a bucket that he crouched over and puked into, losing his breakfast. 

Everyone wanted to act as if they cared so damn much about a poor little potato farmer, but it was all a damn show. Armin knew enough about the world to know that much. Mrs. Schmidt only wanted to make herself feel better, so that when Armin eventually died of starvation, she, like the other women, could act as though they were all just such good people, caring for the poor dregs of town.

If she had cared, she would have seen the way his smile hadn’t touched his eyes, or how badly his hands shook from overuse. She would have seen the way it agonized Armin to be treated as a child, or as someone who needed help. Nevermind that Armin did need help. And deep down, Armin knew he needed help, and that’s what frustrated him the most. He wanted to be independent. Armin did not want to rely on others, just to scrape by.

It was so _humiliating_.  

In the safety, and privacy of his home, Armin cried. He hated just how badly he wanted those left overs. He hated that he took them. He hated that he couldn’t have rejected them. Most of all, Armin hated how his own mother wasn’t around to cook meals like that anymore. He missed her cooking, he missed how she would hug him, and sing to him. He only liked when she had ruffled his hair.

Armin clutched the bucket tightly, his knuckles turned white. His shoulders shook as he dry heaved into the bucket, sick with himself, and his life. Armin was even angry at Eren for being pissy, and defiant. Armin had only tried to be the voice of reason, yet Eren was going to do what ever it was that Eren did best, and damn the consequences.

Even if the Potato Gods weren’t real, terrible things happened when they were denied a potato sacrifice. Armin was terrified for the future. Would bad people come to the village tomorrow? Would they take his grandfather from him too? Armin remained hunched over the bucket, and tried not to be sick from that thought. He was already concerned that his grandfather would kill over any day from stress, exhaustion or hunger and now Eren wanted to mock the Potato Gods. Armin had a dreadful feeling about it, and Eren wasn’t listening to him which made him feel worthless. 

“Oh. Armin. Again?” His grandfather’s concerned voice cut through the troublesome thoughts, and worries in his head. Armin craned his head up at his grandfather, and felt incredibly small next to him. Mr. Arlert never complained. Armin felt shame spread across his face. He wanted to be strong like his grandfather. 

“I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to behave so poorly…” Armin apologized, regret creeping into his voice. He rubbed his palm against his eyes, furiously wiping the tears away, because he didn’t want to worry his grandfather.  

“No, Armin. You don’t have to apologize.” Mr. Arlert assured him as he knelt down carefully, and pulled Armin against him. “I know how stressed out you are, and I am so sorry I influenced you to be like me.” Mr. Arlert apologized, as he began to rub Armin’s back comfortingly. He recognized Armin’s insufferable pride as a trait he passed down to him. The little blonde was a lot like him when he was young.  Knowing that, Mr. Arlert did not mind letting Armin express his feelings in the comfort of his own home.

Armin said nothing and wrapped his arms around his grandfather’s neck, and buried his face against his neck to cry unabashed. Mr. Arlert’s understanding nature was a relief, and a comfort to Armin who felt as if his feelings were being validated. He still felt as if he was being petty, and selfish somehow, but the fact that even if he was, that, his grandfather was still, then, being nice to him was refreshing.

“If your hands hurt, I remember your grandmother would rub olive oil over them.” Mr. Arlert added, having noticed Armin’s hands when dry, and cracking when he had rubbed at his eyes. “You may use it however much you like if it helps.” Mr. Arlert offered, keeping a strong arm around his precious, overwhelmed grandson.

“I’ll…try that then…” Armin responded, while he tried to calm himself. He felt like he was acting like a child, and wanted to instead act as strong as his grandfather did. He rubbed at his eyes, and then rested against his father-figure. Mr. Arlert tentatively grabbed Armin’s hand, and gingerly rubbed it.

“I don’t want this life for you…but times are hard, and we must endure. When you turn sixteen, I can marry you a good wife who will take over the laundry you hate so much.” Mr. Arlert mentioned, with encouragement in his tone. Armin rested his head on his shoulder and shut his eyes.

“That I might like.” Armin relented, since he would prefer solely working on the fields, and reading books as opposed to house work that made his hands hurt in a more personal way than farm work did. He had little notion towards what the concept of marriage meant, since couples did not make it a point to talk about their relationships, or lack there of.

All Armin knew was that a man and a woman were to be married, and then a baby would appear that Fall. But until he came of age, he knew he had no choice but to continue with the house chores he didn’t like. His hands yearned for that day. Armin briefly wondered if charming princes only rescued pretty princesses. 

“Do you think you can wait two more years?” Mr. Arlert wondered, holding Armin close. Armin shook his head weakly.

“No, but I will tough it out.” Armin promised, and slowly crawled off of his grandfathers lap. “I’ll try the olive oil now.” Armin added, and went to fetch the olive oil to spread on his hands. He wanted to be alone with his petty thoughts. 

Mr. Arlert relied on the table to push himself back up on his feet, and grabbed the bucket Armin had thrown up in. He dumped the bucket properly, washed it out, before heading to the cooking pot. Mr. Arlert grabbed it and put it on the stove to heat it.

Once Armin ate, Mr. Arlert knew he would feel better. Food always made Armin feel better.

Armin who he would die to protect.


	2. Enemy Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war spreads far across the lands, and stumbles across a lone village, once lost to time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be a brutal chapter to read. I do not use the "rape tag" lightly, nor as a joke, like so many other authors do.
> 
> The Russian soldiers can speak a bit of German.

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 2: Enemy**

The soft pitter patter of rain on the roof roused Armin awake. He opened his eyes, and laid there for a few minutes, content to drowsily listen to the rain splattering against the window. No thoughts circulated in his head until he pushed himself up onto his elbows. His messy hair fell around his face. _I need a bath_. Armin realized, catching a whiff of his hair that smelled like the straw he and Eren rolled around in yesterday, sometime before their fight. He rolled on to his side, and then thought about how he did not want to greet the new, rainy day.

“Oh no!” Armin exclaimed, as he scrambled out of bed and bolted for the door. He rushed through the house, and tore open the back door. Armin leapt outside and slid in the mud. He flailed his arms, and managed to keep his balance. Then he rounded the corner of the house, and saw the clothes he washed were still hanging on the clothesline, where he had left them yesterday afternoon. “No, no, no, no.” Armin fretted, because during the night, the wind had tossed mud onto the clean clothes. Armin thought about how he would have to wash, bleed, and scrub the clothes all over again. He screamed.

And he screamed until his throat was sore. He was mad at himself for shirking his obligations, angry with his unfair life, and frustrated with Eren for not offering up a potato to the supposed Gods. Armin had told him to get his head out of his ass, but Eren obviously hadn’t listened because it was fucking raining, and muddy. Once again, one of Eren’s antics had made Armin’s life tougher. Armin clenched his trembling hands into fists, and stalked towards the dirt road.

Rationally, Armin knew the rain could be a coincidence, and that he should have brought the clothes in himself last night. Emotionally, Armin needed someone else to blame. He headed down the road, and passed right by the strawberry field he liked so much. Armin went straight for Eren’s house, and rapped his knuckles briskly on the door. He sucked in a breath to calm himself, and not appear so angry. The door opened, revealing Dr. Jaeger, Eren's father.

“May Eren come out to play?” Armin asked, forcing a smile on to his face.

“You just missed him. He’s heading for the fields.” Dr. Jaeger responded, and noticed Armin was thinner than the last time he saw him. Armin had always been alarmingly thin, though it was not uncommon amongst the villagers.

“Thank you, Dr. Jaeger. I’ll just go—” Armin started, waving  dismissively as he began to turn around to leave. There were wounds on his pale hands, which implied he was doing a woman’s job at home. Mikasa had those same wounds on her hands, from doing her own laundry, alongside Eren and Dr. Jaeger's laundry. Dr. Jaeger briefly wondered what Armin must think, being delegated to do a women's work, then grabbed Armin’s wrist.

“Why don’t you come inside for a minute, and borrow one of Eren’s jackets. You might catch cold in this weather.” Dr. Jaeger suggested, since Armin was trembling in a pair of simple tan pants, and a long sleeved shirt. Armin started to shake his head and retreat, but Dr. Jaeger’s grip on his arm was strong, since he was used to dealing with Eren. “I insist.” Dr. Jaeger insisted, wanting to help Eren’s delicate, unfortunate friend out.

“O-okay. I’ll just grab a jacket and go.” Armin reluctantly conceded, and because he had no choice, he stepped into the house. Dr. Jaeger plucked Eren’s old jacket off of the coat hanger, and draped it over Armin’s little body. Armin muttered a quick ‘thanks’ and shoved his arms into the holes of the jacket.

“If you need help with the household chores, I’ll send Mikasa over.” Dr. Jaeger offered, and buttoned the jacket up for Armin. Armin brightened at the thought of getting out of laundry duty, then shook his head in protest, having thought better of it. He did not want Mikasa to have intimate knowledge of his clothes. Plus, they were friends. It seemed cruel to even entertain the idea. 

“N-no. I’ll be okay.” Armin promised, and quickly made his escape out the door before Dr. Jaeger could guess at the rest of Armin’s pitiful life. Armin ran to the fields, and found Eren, making mud balls. Armin trudged through the mud, and felt his earlier anger return. “Eren!” Armin barked accusingly, as he approached his best friend who never seemed to have a care in the world.

“Huh?” Eren looked over his shoulder, and saw Armin coming towards him, with an angry expression on his face. Eren grinned from cheek to cheek. “Aww, Armin. You’re so cute when you’re mad.” Eren gushed teasingly, thinking Armin’s apple hued cheeks were charming. He always liked making Armin mad, because Armin reminded him of a little pint-sized puppy, adorable, and completely non-threatening.

“Is this funny!?” Armin questioned angrily as he thrust his hands in Eren’s face. “Because I have to wash those clothes all over again because you just _had_ to defy what we don’t understand!” Armin yelled, voicing his frustration over how much more pain his hands will be in, partially thanks to Eren. Eren was always finding ways to damage his hands, it seemed. The same hands Eren used to like, because they had been soft, like a women’s palms.

Eren blinked at Armin’s hands, and saw the dried, cracked skin. He twisted on to his knees and grabbed Armin’s wrists, to further inspect the damaged hands. “Hell, I am sorry, Armin. I don’t know why your hands keep getting hurt.” Eren apologized, his tone soft and concerned. He hadn’t thought that defying the Potato Gods would bring bad karma on to Armin.

“I am so upset with you. You never listen to me, and then I am the one who gets hurt while you glide through life without a care in the world.” Armin ranted, venting some of his pent up anger out onto Eren, who hunched his shoulders. He felt bad, which made Armin feel relief that Eren knew he messed up.

“Well, at least it stopped raining. Maybe I can kiss your wounds better?” Eren suggested, since he was partially at fault for bringing Armin to tears. Armin yanked his hands away from Eren and huffed stubbornly. “Come on, let me apologize to you properly.” Eren pressed, wanting to repent for making Armin’s already hard life more difficult. Armin glanced warily at Eren, and folded his arms across his chest, becoming withdrawn.

“It won’t matter because you’ll just do something stupid tomorrow, and I’ll get hurt again.” Armin griped, staring at the muddy grass. Now that he had vented, and Eren had listened, Armin felt horrible for yelling at him in the first place. He just did not feel bad enough to apologize yet.

“As much as I want to tell you that that’s not true…I get bored here. I’m sorry, really, I am. I am so sorry.” Eren swore, and wrapped his arms around his emotional friend. Armin stiffened, but had no notion to push Eren away, not when he was being honest and kind. Armin sighed grumpily and leaned into Eren’s arms that had kept him safe, and warm since the very first day they met as toddlers.

“I’m sorry too, Eren. I know I should have brought the clothes in last night myself, but Mrs. Schmidt came by yesterday and thrust _left overs_ on me.” Armin said, and pressed his face against Eren’s neck. He inhaled the scent of straw, Earth, and horse. Eren had a horse back home, and since he tended to clean the stables and care for the horse, he kind of smelled like the horse. Armin knew he didn’t smell any better, so he said nothing and instead found comfort in the natural scents of his friend.

“Ah, I know you hate when that happens. I don’t really understand why, though. I mean, you do need to eat sometimes and she is willing to provide you—” Eren started, but before he could finish with his point, Armin angrily pulled away from him.

“Of course you would not understand. You’ve never been hungry before. You have food, so you’ve never been forced to rely on others, and feel how bad that feels.” Armin snapped, irritated that Eren would even think of defending that bitch. Armin did not need Eren to understand, he just needed him to listen. Eren lifted his hands up in surrender, realizing he hit a nerve. Again. Armin never used to be so emotional. He used to be a relatively happy kid.

“You’re right, I don’t know about that. If you’re hungry, why not come over to my place? I’ll feed you.” Eren offered, and held his hand out to Armin. Armin huffed, annoyed Eren thought that his offer was kind, when it only humiliated him more. The whole point was that Armin didn’t want other people to take care of him, he wanted to take care of himself.

“That’s not the point. I don’t want other people to give me things because not only does it suggest that I can’t get those same things for myself, but then I feel like I owe them something and I hate that.” Armin explained, in an effort to make Eren understand that he needed to be free. He did not want to be in debt to someone else. What if Mrs. Schmidt was only being nice to Armin because she wanted him to marry her ugly, boyish daughter that was around his age? That thought made Armin feel nauseous. If he ever married a girl, he wanted her to be soft, and pretty. Feminine.

“Oh. It’s a power thing.” Eren realized, and felt that he understood why Armin was bent out of shape about being handed left overs. Armin nodded, affirming Eren’s guess. Eren knew Armin tended to feel insecure, and powerless ever since his parents were murdered. Armin used to be a cheerful, happy-go-lucky child. A lot had changed since then, and while Eren only ever wanted to make Armin smile, he could not resist making Armin angry at him from time to time because the only time Armin vented his anger was when Eren coaxed it out of him.

“Yeah. I—hey. _Eren_.” Armin distractedly spoke, as he patted Eren’s chest repetitively, and urgently. Eren tensed, hearing the alarm in Armin’s voice, but what concerned him most was how pale Armin became. He turned around, and saw why Armin was scared.

Foreign men in green clothing were approaching the village. Amongst them was a huge, hulking vehicle, the likes which the young teenagers had never seen before. It made horrible noises, and made the ground shake underneath it.

“It’s the Potato God.” Armin shrieked fearfully, his voice reaching a higher pitch, while he pointed a trembling finger at the military tank.Eren frowned, having believed the Potato God would be brown, or would come in the form of a selfish, stupid girl. Oh, wait. That was Sasha. Fuck, was she stupid. Eren surveyed the surrounding land. There was no where for them to duck, or hide. The village was so close, but so far away. There was no way the strange men, equip with guns had not seen the pair of boys on the hill. Eren knew that much, but it did not stop him from grabbing Armin’s wrist, and making a run towards town.

"Come on, Armin." Eren said, as he ran pulled a stumbling Armin along with him. Armin followed Eren, and hoped the hasty brunette knew what he was doing. Shouting ensued behind the fleeing kids. Loud gun fire reverberated in their ears. Eren gasped, and ran faster. Armin yelped at the loud noise, and pulled Eren to the right. Hard. A bullet whizzed past Eren’s ear.

“Ah, they’re fucking shooting at us.” Eren complained, and placed a hand over his hot ear. It had not occurred to him that Armin’s jerky movements had saved his life. Armin practically led the way, even though he was behind Eren. In this way, they zig-zagged towards the town. For being a child with almost no gun exposure, Armin’s technique was clever. However, the way they weaved back and forth was tiring, and confusing for them.

But for trained soldiers who often had to shoot moving objects, the kids did not go completely unscathed for long. A bullet lodged itself into Eren’s leg, making him cry out, and crumple to the ground. Eren had had a habit of picking fights with the other village children and often received sprains, fractures, and or a broken bone, but the scalding pain igniting through his leg was nothing like he had ever felt before.

In some ways, it was a small fraction of how Armin felt when his hand was burned on the pot. Eren grabbed his leg, and felt warm liquid wet his hands. “Eren!” Armin shouted with alarmed concern, and knelt down by his best friend. A bullet hit the ground near Armin’s knee, and scattered dirt, and grass into the blonde’s face. Armin gasped with fright, becoming startled and threw his arms over his face.

“Ah!” Armin’s scream broke through the mind-numbing, white hot pain fogging Eren’s brain up. He opened his green eyes, scrambled up, and pounced on to his best friend. Eren held Armin tight against him, to guard him from gun fire. It was all he could do to protect his delicate friend, since even if he had Armin leave him behind, the gunfire could easily take Armin down too.

This way, Armin would be relatively safe, at least until the soldiers caught up to them.

“Why couldn’t you have just listened to me!? The Potato God is going to kill us!” Armin shouted, his accusatory voice rang in Eren’s ears. The little blonde was frantic, desperate, and needed someone else to blame because if he had to blame himself for one more thing that went wrong in his life, he would break. It had to be someone else’s fault this time.

“I am s-sorry!” Eren stuttered through pain-gritted teeth. He grabbed Armin’s wrist, kissed his hand. “I am so sorry. I know I should have listened to you. You always know the right thing to do, I just get bored and now it’s just like all those years ago, but these men are different.” Eren conceded, raising his voice so he could be heard over the gun fire. The gun fire ceased then, when it was obvious that the children weren’t running away anymore.

“They’re going to kill us.” Armin cried, tucking his head underneath Eren’s chin. He let the honest, copper-skinned boy kiss the wounds on his hand. Eren placed his trembling hand on the back of Armin’s head, and held him close.

“Don’t look.” Eren whispered against Armin’s ear, as they were surrounded by five unfamiliar men. The rest of the army, and the tank went around them, and continued to head for the village. Eren looked at each of the men, who wore identical military outfits, and weaponry. They were of similar builds as well, having more muscle and abs on them than anyone in the village had. Their faces were pale, but their eyes were cold, and haunted.

All at once, the men began to converse with each other, in angry tones. Eren understood the men were arguing, or debating about what to do with the two stray teenagers. It was clear that some of them were uncomfortable with what Eren guessed to be the idea of killing them. At least whoever they were seemed to have a problem with murdering children. But that was all Eren could understand, since the language was foreign. Armin tensed in Eren’s arms, hearing the strange language. He gripped the front of Eren’s shirt and did not dare to utter a noise.

One of the men, who had curly brown hair sticking out from underneath his helmet, olive skin, and dark eyes stepped forwards. He had broad shoulders, and was taller than the rest of the soldiers. Eren noticed he was the only one amongst the men who had a different star ranking system than the others, which implied he had authority over the rest, especially because they all stared at him.

“Well lookit here, men. A boy and his little tomboyish girlfriend. Man, are German women lacking in class.” The man said, and was pleased to hear the soldiers hoot and holler in agreement. Eren straightened up, realizing the man had spoke in German. The Captain was bilingual, which had become an imperative requirement for high ranking military leaders, for reasons just like this one.

“Hey, Armin is not my girlfriend!” Eren exclaimed defensively, and held Armin tighter. Armin still said nothing. He was trying to figure out a way to save them both from being shot at point blank range. If they cooperated with the men, and told them what they wanted to hear, they might let them go simply because they were children, and civilians.

“I am his sister.” Armin spoke up, raising his voice so he could be heard over Eren’s warning growls. The captain whistled with amusement, and suddenly, Armin regretted his lie as dread tightened itself around his intestines. Eren gaped, and sputtered for a moment, then clamped his mouth shut, deciding to just go alone with Armin’s poorly constructed lie.

“Someone’s mother was a slut.” Stated the Captain, which elicited more jeers from the soldiers who either spoke German fluently, or knew enough bits and pieces to put together that their Captain was insulting the German kids. Eren growled louder and tried to spring up in a bout of anger, but his leg reminded him that it still felt as if it was on fire. He gasped in pain and sat right back down. Armin grabbed Eren's shoulders tightly, to keep him from doing anything rash.

“Take it back.” Eren warned, puffing his chest out in an attempt to look intimidating, but after his embarrassing tough-guy display gone wrong, no one was scared of him and he knew it. He was just a teenager, who had no weapons to fight with. Armin, presumed to be a girl, was even less threatening than Eren was.

“You got spunk, Kid. You want to see the world, Brat? Come, fight with us. We’ll mold you into one of us.” The captain offered, liking the fire blazing in Eren’s green eyes. He understood that a lot of the German people did not want the invasion of the Muslims, and figured that he could offer the young ones a chance to fight their country, for their country's future.

“Get lost!” Eren exclaimed, taking a stance against them.

If they were going to be murdered, Eren wanted to fight until the end.

“Wait.” Armin whispered, having another idea. “Go with it, Eren. If you can gain their trust, you can steal a gun from them.” Armin explained in a hushed tone, knowing that if Eren managed to get ahold of a gun, that he would not hesitate to shoot each soldier here. Eren could be ruthless, and cold, and right now, Armin was hoping for the psycho Eren to emerge. The one he had seen lurk and creep around in Eren’s eyes from time to time.

“Is that your final offer?” The Captain pressed curiously, and waited for Eren to say something. Eren hesitated, torn between wanting to fight, and listen to Armin. “Grab the girl.” He said, in his native language so the other soldiers would understand him perfectly. One of them stepped forwards to grab Armin. Eren tensed.

“No! Wait, wait, wait. I’ll join you. I swear. Just—just tell me what to do.” Eren shouted suddenly, choosing to listen to Armin for once in his life. The Captain paused, and halted the approaching soldier.

“Well then, here’s what you need to know. We are Russians, currently embroiled in a world war against Germany, and all hostile Arabic countries. Actually, we’re heading for Berlin to overtake the Capital. We decided to cut through here as a shortcut, never expecting to find a fucking backwater village.” Explained the Captain dismissively, since that was background information. “As a new recruit, you’re going against your own country to save your own country. You’ll die for us, as a scout.”

“Fine, fine. Just don’t hurt Armin.” Eren said impatiently, wanting Armin to be able to run away and be free. He needed that to happen, because the blood loss, and the pain in his leg was making him pale, and dizzy. If a fight ensued, Eren wasn't sure he could win.

“Oh. Ar-min. Let’s see her. Now.” The leader urged firmly, his voice leaving no room for arguments. A lackey yanked Armin away from Eren. Armin and Eren both gasped with alarm and reached for each other.

“Hey, put hi—her down!” Eren demanded, as he scrambled to his feet, and rested the brunt of his weight on his good leg. Armin was held underneath his armpits, left to flail in the air uselessly. He was short, compared to the tall, bulky Russians of impeccable military status. They all looked as if they had been bred for war, especially compared to a couple of straggly village boys.

For a moment, no one spoke. Eren and Armin were holding their breaths. The soldiers were struck by Armin’s girlish charm, chubby, apple cheeks and  his tiny, delicate physique. Even Eren had admitted to himself from time to time that Armin was cute with his fair skin, and pretty blonde hair. But the way that the ginger haired soldier was staring at Armin made Eren irritated. The only comfort he had was that Armin wasn't actually a girl. Once the men realized this, they would surely stop drooling over Armin.

Some of the soldiers began murmuring in their native language. Eren and Armin could not understand them, but neither boy liked how the men were staring and gesturing to Armin’s pouty, pink lips. Armin shrank back as much as he could, as the leader approached. He grabbed Armin’s chin, and rubbed his thumb over his trembling bottom lip.

“Many of my soldiers would love to have your pretty lips wrap around their cocks. Would you do that service for them, in exchange for your life?” The Captain wondered, tracing the succulent shape of Armin’s lips with his thumb. Armin paled at the thought, while his eyes bulged.

“I-I’m fourteen!” Armin exclaimed, as if that fact would keep the hungry eyes from devouring him. He was becoming scared, and ever more aware that he was going to be hurt.

“And? All is fair in war.” Stated the Captain with a shrug of his shoulders, and watched Armin’s eyes grow wider, as he realized these men had dark intentions in store for him. Armin swallowed hard, and shook his head, while a whimper escaped his lips. Eren panted, and tried to focus on the situation before him. He knew he needed to help Armin. He just couldn’t make the mental connections needed to do so.

"Hey, Armin isn't a toy to be used!" Eren rasped, disgusted that the soldier would even think of objectifying Armin like that.

“I am a boy, a boy!” Armin shouted desperately, hoping that fact would deter the men from wanting to do bad things to him. He did not want a penis anywhere near his mouth.

“A boy?” The captain scoffed, incredulous. He shook his head, and gestured around to his soldiers. “We are men. Albert, Viktor, Dennis, Igor and me, Boris. You are a girl, with a pretty mouth. Open wide. Let’s see how wide you stretch.” The Captain, and leader, Boris instructed Armin, who clamped his mouth shut tight and groaned fearfully.

“He is a boy.” Eren spoke up, remembering he needed to fight in any way that he could. If he couldn’t move without becoming dizzy, he could be mouthy, and turn their attention on to himself. Boris stared at Eren with disbelief. “We grew up together. I swear. I know he’s a boy. We bathed together in the crick a lot.” Eren swore, recalling his baths he took in the local creeks with Armin. Armin was definitely a boy.

“Bullshit. Captain, you should make her strip. We’ll know then, Hehe.” Suggested Igor, with a laugh. He was the ginger man holding Armin up. He spoke in his natural Russian language. Boris contemplated the idea, then nodded briskly, and made a gesture for Armin to be released. Igor dropped Armin, who gasped, and crashed on to the ground.

“Take your shirt off.” Boris instructed, using his second language of German to give commands to the presumed girl. A gasp sounded from both teenagers. “Now.” Boris commanded, and thrust his gun in Armin’s face. Armin shrieked and threw his arms high into the air and trembled like a fucking Chihuahua. His eyes went cross-eyed as he stared at the barrel of the gun, that was too close to his face for him to think of anything else. Boris rolled his eyes with annoyance. “Viktor. Take it off of her.”

“Gladly.” Viktor agreed, and tugged at Armin’s shirt. Armin squealed. His first instinct was to wrench away, but the cold steel of the gun pressing against his nose kept him still as he was stripped of the shirt. Eren’s lips parted with disgusted surprise. He hadn’t thought these fuck heads would really check to see if Armin was a girl, or a boy.

And why did Armin’s gender matter, anyways? They were civilian children. Dread suddenly filled Eren as he distinctly recalled something he said to Armin yesterday;

 _Or what? Demons will invade our village and rape us? Murder us_? 

Eren looked at the way the men were eyeing-humping Armin, even though Armin was a flat-chested boy, and felt sick. The little blonde was probably the prettiest human being the men had seen in awhile, and arguably, Armin was one of the most feminine people in the village. Mikasa was prettier, but damn, Armin made all of the older men awkwardly uncomfortable.

These men seemed to be no exception, because even now that Viktor was rubbing, and pinching Armin’s pretty, pink nipples, the blonde’s alarmed, startled yelp was high-pitched and painfully feminine, which garnered the attention of the men. A surprised, airy gasp left Armin’s throat. His first instinct was to throw his arms over his chest, but the presence of the gun made him reach back for the sky, and whimper defeatedly. Eren, distracted from his weakening body, wondered if Armin had begun to change, like he had been for the last two years. Armin’s voice really sounded the same as it did back then. Had Armin not begun the change, despite being fourteen? Eren tried to push these thoughts out of his head.

“Show us your true gender, and he might stop touching you.” Boris offered, keeping the gun hoisted up, and pressed against Armin’s pale, sweating forehead. Armin barely repressed another shriek as Viktor began to kiss, and suck on his neck. Igor practically foamed at the mouth with jealously. Albert rolled his eyes, and shook his head.

 _They think I am a girl still_? Armin wondered with horror, while Boris gestured to Armin’s pants, with the gun. Armin’s breath hitched in his throat. “No.” The word came out as nothing more than a shameful whimper. _They want to humiliate me_. Just like the other boys in the village, who liked to hit Armin. This was all a power game.

This he understood.

“Do it.” The other soldier, Igor, hissed impatiently. Armin did not need to know Russian to know what the man with the twisted smile wanted him to do. With trembling hands, Armin hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his plain pants. _If I show them…they’ll leave me alone because I am not a girl. Men have time with women_. Armin assured himself, as he did his best to rationalize removing his clothes in front of these dangerous strangers and shakily began to tug his pants down. _Men can't be with men_.

“Don’t do it, Armin! He just wants to embarrass you.” Eren called, from where he was barely standing, not far away at all. His own breaths were becoming uneven as the gunshot wound continued to leak blood. Armin did not dare say a word as he slowly slid the pants off of his narrow hips, and let his fringe of hair hide his eyes. The man gestured the gun at him again. Armin reluctantly stepped out of the pants, knowing better than to argue when a gun was pressed against his bare chest.

There was no doubt anymore that Armin was a young guy. The underwear he wore revealed his boyish package, and round butt cheeks. He quivered, feeling the intense stares that raked over his skinny body, criticizing, judging, mocking…Armin just knew he was being picked apart, and sized up. They too would come to the conclusion that he was not a real man, as had many other people in the past. Armin’s feminine features never failed to attract the wrong type of attention, that called his masculinity, or lack there of, into question.

“All of it, you dirty German brat.” Dennis commanded spitefully, in broken German. Armin almost did not understand him, but when Boris’s gun swiped across his crotch, he knew then that they wanted him to stand before them with no secrets. Eren seemed to understand that too, and felt his blood boil. Armin was too innocent, and sensitive to be manhandled like this.

“No.” Armin whispered, embedding a soft plea into his voice. His arms were still raised towards the sky, similar to Eren’s own. They weren’t fighting, but they should be. They were just too young and sheltered to know how quickly the tense situation could escalate into something horrific, and unforgettable. ‘Nein’ was a word all of the Russians were familiar with.

“Then I’ll help you.” Viktor decided, and tugged Armin’s underwear off of his narrow, bony hips. Armin, in a flustered frenzy, squealed with alarm, and threw his hands over his exposed cock, gun be damned. The underwear was callously ripped off his pale body. Dennis, the fifth man, howled, and jeered, seeing Armin’s legs that appeared hairless. Eren gasped with pity, seeing no dark hair to speak of on Armin’s body. His own copper skin was covered in dark hair, and had been for the last two years since puberty had awakened within him.

Each of the soldiers had the same thoughts as Eren did; The little blonde was still a fucking child. Only Eren was concerned as to why this was. If they lived through whatever these men had planned for them, Eren was going to inquire about Armin’s virtually hairless body. At fourteen, _the change_ should have occurred in Armin. Why hadn’t it?

“You monsters.” Eren growled under his breath, and sent Armin a sympathetic look. Armin refused to look at anyone—he was staring at his feet, because he did not want to see the mocking grins he instinctively knew were plastered onto the men’s faces. Armin heard some of them laugh, and converse mockingly in Russian. Tears stung his eyes as his face heated pink with humiliation.

“Let us see your penis, or Albert will shoot your brother.” Boris warned, and nudged the barrel of the gun against Armin’s shaking hands. Armin whimpered loudly, and reluctantly lifted his arms and wrapped them around himself. He hung his head with shame, and trembled with nervous fear.

“Fuck, he’s hairless.” Albert mentioned, with shock that the little blonde had to be much younger than they initially thought. His words were spoken in Russian, but Armin understood by the tone of his voice that he was being mocked, insulted, or belittled in some way shape or form and felt a new surge of shame spread through his entire body. No one should be made fun of for what their body did, or did not look like, but Armin never felt more ashamed in his life.

“No, he’s a fucking German. Look closer.” Dennis declared, and grabbed a fistful of soft, blonde curls that were barely visible, even in the sunlight. Armin gasped, feeling the blood drain from his face, and jerked back, bumping into Viktor, who reached around him to grab at the ghost-like curls to see if Dennis was telling the truth. Boris kept the gun pointed at Armin, to remind the little blonde that he was still not in control of the situation. Another whimper escaped Armin's throat.

“My God, everything about him is soft and delicate.” Viktor gasped jealously, as he curiously pawed at Armin’s sensual curves, and hair that framed his face. Armin squealed, reaching a higher octave, as he tried to wrench away from Viktor, but by now, he was surrounded. And it was now that he spotted the awful, lustful grin spreading across Igor's face. Armin swallowed hard, as dread began to fill his heart, knowing that that grin would haunt his fucking nightmares, right alongside the muddy laundry.

“H-hey, d-don’t touch him!” Eren barked weakly, as he sunk to his knees. He felt hot—too hot, and yet so insufferably cold at the same time. He sweated, and panted, becoming pale. At this point, all Eren could do was yell, especially because he could only guess as to what the men were doing to Armin.

They had surrounded him moments ago, and since then, Eren saw arm movements, heard Armin’s alarmed squeals, and sometimes saw Armin’s flushed, petrified face. He wanted to take Armin’s advice, and steal a gun—the men were so intrigued by Armin that Eren felt as if he could snag a gun away from one of them, but he could not bring himself to move with the quickness he needed to accomplish the task.

“Don’t touch me!” Armin parroted fearfully, jerking away from Viktor, only to stumble right into Albert’s gun. The cold metal against his shoulder made Armin gasp, and scramble back to the center of the small circle. He timidly surveyed the soldiers, and wondered why they were wasting their time bullying two young boys. Didn't they have German soldiers to gun down, and not the citizens?

“Oooh!” Albert and Dennis chimed in unison, mocking Armin shamelessly. “He thinks he is self important enough for his selfish wants to be listened to.” Dennis said, and laughed at the ridiculousness of Armin’s demand.

“P-please. We’re just teenagers. Just let us go. We can’t possibly harm any of you.” Armin begged, hoping one of them would understand him, and remember that they had more important things to be doing then harassing a couple of teenagers. Albert opened his mouth to speak.

Just then, loud gun fire, and ear-piercing screams began to stretch across the field, originating from the village. Eren and Armin screamed in unison, and ducked.

“Ah, no one ever wants to surrender willingly.” Albert sighed, while Viktor tsked. Igor laughed cruelly like a maniac, imaging the horror that must be befalling the dirty, backwater German village. Dennis whistled. Boris sighed.

“It’s not about that, you idiots. They’re shooting the men.” Boris snapped, forgetting to switch over to his natural German tone. Startled, Eren went rigid upon hearing that the men of the village were being unceremoniously slaughtered. Armin snapped his head up.

“Grandpa!”

“Dad!”

The boys shrieked in unison, realizing their only remaining family members were likely to be murdered. Eren clambered to his feet, intent on rushing home and rescuing his father. As soon as he applied pressure to his wounded leg, a mind-numbing pain spread through his body, igniting and spreading like violent tree roots. He crumbled back to the ground, gasping, and panting with pain. Tears stung his eyes as a feeling of helplessness overcame him. “Dad!” Eren mourned, clenching his hands into fists.

“Please, please don’t let them kill my grandfather!” Armin begged desperately, eyes wide with fear. “He’s the only one I have left.” Armin pleaded, shaking with a raw, primal fear. If he lost his grandfather, he would be solely responsible for the field work, and all of the house hold chores, most of which he was still struggling to perform properly. His hands took the moment to scream at him, as if to remind him that Armin that they could not handle any more laborious labor. He would be all alone without his grandfather, and would be left to fend for himself. That was a terrifying thought.

“My Dad is a medic, he could help you all if you let him live!” Eren spoke up, sounding just as desperate as Armin did. Neither of them wanted to lose the only precious family they had left.

“Whoa, wait.” Boris said, raising a hand. “You two brats told me you were siblings, that, you were her older brother, except you never mentioned that she was actually a boy. And now? You both act as if you’re not in the same family.”

“Lying whores.” Dennis grumbled, understanding enough German to piece together what Boris has said, though he spoke Russian. Albert raised his eyebrows, understanding the kids had been lying to them the whole time. Igor growled, and barred his teeth. Viktor shook his head.

“We’ll kill them all and I'll fuck his corpse!” Igor declared, though the Russian words were lost on the boys. He was a particularly evil man. Armin paled at the angry tones, and realized he fucked up by lying.

“No, no…I didn’t…I didn’t mean to…” Armin whimpered frantically, his blue eyes were wild with terror. _They’re going to kill me_. That persuasive thought paralyzed Armin to his core, and in a desperate attempt to give them a reason not to kill him, Armin raised his trembling arms in surrender. "I-I'll be honest, I swear."

Boris shook his head, and then whacked Armin with the gun. Armin yelped with pain, and clutched his throbbing cheek. He could taste blood, while his tongue stung from being bitten. “I tried to be nice to you, but you Germans are all the same.” Boris griped irritably, and shoved his gun into Albert’s hand. “If he so much as fucking moves, shoot him.” Boris commanded, and stepped around Armin. He was done playing the nice guy to a couple of unruly children.

“What happened? Armin, Armin are you okay?” Eren called, refocusing on the dire situation Armin was in. All he could see was Boris stepping around someone—Armin, the brunette assumed. He had heard a smack, and Armin’s yelp that implied he had been hurt. But damn it, he couldn’t see, and he couldn’t seem to push through the burning pain in his leg.

“Eren, I am scared!” Armin admitted, calling out to his friend that he could not see. Albert threatened Armin with the gun. Armin shrank back, and again raised his arms into the air, to show he was willing to be submissive if it meant he could live to see another day. “Please, I am so sorry I lied. We’re best friends, I swear that’s the truth.” Armin then returned to begging for his life, in the hopes that his display of desperate honesty would make the men less hostile with him.

“Oh, you’ll be fucking sorry by the time we’re done with you. We haven’t seen any tail in weeks, and right now, your lying ass is the prettiest thing we have seen in awhile.” Boris commented, as he grabbed Armin’s butt cheeks, and spread them to reveal the puckered hole. Armin gasped with alarm, and the only reason he did not jerk away was because Albert was pointing the gun at him.

“Wh-what are you going to do to me!?” Armin asked fearfully, feeling the wind brush against his most private parts. He had no idea what to expect because if he did, he would have fought them with everything he had. Screams and gunfire still ensued from the village, making both young boys incredibly nervous, and on edge.

“We’re going to make you scream, and if you dare to move, he won’t hesitate to shoot you.” Boris warned, and then wedged his index finger into Armin’s virgin anus. Armin’s young eyes bulged open with a toxic mixture of shock, and fear.

“Heek! Why are you doing that to me? I am not a girl!” Armin shrieked, panicked and pale. He was rigid, and tense against the ungodly penetration. As far as he knew, the hole only had one purpose, and being prodded at was not that purpose. He couldn't understand who would have thought of something like this, either.

“Exactly. This is the only hole I can penetrate with my dick.” Boris answered, and pistoned his finger in and out of the straining hole that clenched tightly around his digit.

“P-p-pep…pen..wha…” Armin stammered with horror, and shock. _That’s not possible. Who even think of something like that_!? Armin fretted internally, and shook harder with fear. All his life, a man was to marry a woman. Never had a man even thought of being with another man before. That was just…just asinine! Armin couldn’t comprehend it at all. And yet, that finger was the prelude to a few rude wake-up calls. Armin’s little world was about to be shattered, and split in half.

A second finger was wiggled inside of Armin, causing the boy to shout with pain. Armin began to squirm, shifting from one foot to the other, but there was no relief to be found from the awful scissoring motions the intruding digits performed.  “Stop, stop it! That hurts!” Armin cried, and felt tears well up in his eyes, and curl over the rims of his eyes, to trickle down his cheeks.

“He’s so noisy.” Dennis complained, keeping a gun focused on Armin, who was only too aware of the threatening guns. He groaned repetitively, and remained tense as that finger kept inserting itself into him.

 _This can’t be happening to me. I am not a girl. Why would he…how could he_ … _I don’t understand_. Armin cried, while he was finger-fucked. “I am not a girl. I’m not a girl!” Armin repeated desperately, as if that fact would spare him from the agony, and violation he was experiencing.

That was it. Dennis had had enough of Armin mouthing off—Dennis clapped a hand over Armin’s mouth.

“Noo! I want to hear him scream!” Igor protested angrily, his voice coming off as a pained screech.

“Enough, Igor. You’ll have your turn, and when you do, no one will interfere.” Boris told the angry ginger haired man, who was slender, yet wide in an eerie way. He was not so much a physical fighter, but it was obvious still that he could hold his own against others.

“Damn it.” Eren cursed, only knowing something really bad was happening to Armin. He ripped a part of his shirt off of his body, and wrapped it tightly around his leg, to stem the flow of the bleeding. He knew he should have done that earlier, but pain was keeping him complacent, and shockingly unresponsive to the horror going on around him. He wanted to rescue Armin, but damn it, he felt as if his hands were tied behind his back. That was the power of fear.

“Viktor, keep a gun trained on the other one. I’m sure he’ll try to stupidly rush in to save his boyfriend once he starts to scream.” Boris told the soldier, who had been staring at Armin’s ass. They were all sex deprived, and since the other soldiers in the village were probably raping the women right about now, this little blonde was the best they were going to get, and they knew it.

“Fine.” Viktor grumbled, and stepped away from the circle to train his gun on to Eren, who stiffened. Any fight Eren was about to put up was halted. If he moved, he would be fucking shot again, and he didn’t want that because if he was killed, Armin would be left alone in the world.

“Do it, do it, tear him open!” Igor enthused in his native Russian, and eagerly rocked on his heels. He had always been partial to young, feminine boys, and wanted to hear Armin fucking scream. Boris rolled his eyes at Igor’s impatience, and pulled his fingers out of Armin’s warm body. He had opened the boy just enough that if he used enough force, he could gain entry to the forbidden tunnel.

“We don’t have to act like animals, you know.” Dennis griped, irritated that Igor was getting off on this. Dennis, like Boris, under ordinary circumstances, never would have thought to force themselves onto someone else, but as was stated, all was fair in war. Armin would be another unknown statistic. A victim of the ravages of war.

These men wanted sexual relief, and Armin was going to be their conduit whether he liked it or not. Boris pulled his cock out of his pants, and stroked himself quickly, to become hard. Armin sniffled, and felt momentary relief that the intruding fingers had retreated from his body. He went rigid once more as a hard pressure was exerted on his hole.

"What is that!?" Armin shrieked, panicked that something much wider than a finger was poking at his entrance.

“My cock. Now, You’re going to learn to be honest with us, and obedient from here on out.” Boris informed Armin, and placed his hands on Armin’s hips. Armin began to stammer with fear. Boris then rammed his cock into Armin’s anus, splitting it open. The sharp, dry fireworks of pain erupted through Armin’s entire body, and thrummed up his spine, leaving him speechless.

Words caught in his throat, while his eyes saw white. Armin was wracked with pain that only heightened, and intensified as Boris began to noisily slap his hips against Armin’s. The first noise that escaped Armin’s throat was a strangled, agonized sob. He should be screaming, but the pain of dry penetration overwhelmed his senses, and ignited every nerve he had to mock explode.

Not this.

Anything but this. Armin wanted to scream. He wanted to run. But he didn’t even remember how to breathe. Boris repeatedly slammed himself into Armin’s quivering hole, creating a dry friction that made Armin’s mind tingle incessantly with pain. He was shocked, confused, and terrified. A warm liquid trickled down Armin’s pale legs, like crimson tears.

"Poor wretch." Albert muttered, watching the way Armin was being brutalized. He had a fifteen year old boy back home, and couldn't imagine someone hurting him in this way. Yet, Albert did not do anything to help Armin. Armin was not his responsibility. If he had been a little Russian boy, Albert would have intervened. But Armin was German, and German's were the enemies of the Russians, for electing that stupid bitch, who was dragging Germany into the ground.

All of a sudden, Armin began to shriek, and while his reaction had been delayed, he made up for it by screaming loud enough to make the men cringe. Armin screamed, reaching a impossibly high pitch, previously unknown to man as he was sodomized. Igor cheered with sadistic delight, and watched Armin’s flushed face contort into one that expressed pain, and fear.

“Fuck, you’re tight.” Boris mentioned appreciatively, and tore his cock through Armin’s rectum, pressing in as far as he could. He withdrew for a moment, and then smashed their hips together, causing Armin’s entire body to jolt, and convulse with pain-induced shock. Armin wailed. The pain was excruciating.

“No! Stop it, stop it! Whatever you’re doing, don’t hurt him!” Eren pleaded desperately, hearing Armin’s agonized screams. He was young, but he had a damn good idea as to what those men were doing to Armin. His father was a doctor, which meant he knew something or the other about sex.

“Quiet.” Viktor snapped at Eren, and cocked the gun, to make Eren sit back down. Eren’s bottom lip trembled as he thought of what could be happening to Armin to make him scream like that. Eren bit his bottom lip, and trembled with helpless rage.

“This. This is why I covered his mouth. I knew he’d scream.” Dennis complained, exhibiting no sympathy for the little blonde that was being fucked up his ass. Armin's cries were muffled by the hand over his mouth.

“Oh-ho-ho!” Igor laughed with delight, his dark eyes lighting up with the sexual thrill he received from watching Armin be sodomized. It was his dream come true, and even in a pain induced hysteria, Armin knew to be terrified of Igor. “I’ll fuck your sweet corpse!” Igor announced in sing-song fashion, that made Armin cry harder. The Russian was lost on him, but the cheery threat was bone-chilling, and concise despite the language barrier.

“We…aren’t killing them today.” Boris mentioned, between thrusts, and pants. He slammed into Armin harder, and quickened his pace to let the pleasure build quickly. He did not need to draw the rape out, and make the kid more uncomfortable than he already was. Igor would probably take his sweet time anyways, and traumatize the kid.

“Ugh, we better hurry, or else we’ll be left to hold down and occupy the village here.” Dennis groaned, casting a glance to the village, where soldiers and civilians blended together in an ominous menagerie. He wanted to keep trudging on with the rest of the military, but he, like the others, had been instructed to stay behind and murder the boys, or make them silent.

And oh, they would be silent after this. Obedient too. Fear was a excellent tool to gain power _over people_. Armin was scared enough to not fight against, nor run away from the man who was sexually assaulting him. His nerves shook with fear, and kept him complacent as he was raped from behind.

“Hnngh!” Boris moaned loudly as he orgasmed, and felt the pleasant ecstasy thrum through his body. He ejaculated a moment later, and filled Armin’s rectum with cum. Boris pulled out then, and to Armin’s credit, he did not crumple to the ground. He was paralyzed from fear, and pain.

“My turn! Oh, oh, it’s my turn!” Igor shouted with euphoric, crazed joy, and pushed Armin on to the ground. Armin gasped as he fell forwards, and collided with the damp Earth. Boris stepped to the side, and took his gun back to give Albert a break. Albert stepped back, and finally Eren could see some of what was going on. He swore his heart stopped as he saw Igor forcefully flip Armin on to his back, and come at him with a exposed dick.

"Ahh! No, no! Get away from meee!" Armin yelled frantically, and spastically kicked his legs at Igor. Igor snatched Armin's ankles, and dragged the struggling teenager to him.

“No!” Eren shouted, his voice was angry, and desperate, while Armin’s frantic plea was brought on by sheer terror. Igor yanked Armin’s legs over his shoulders, while Albert grabbed Armin’s wrists and held them down against the mud.

"E-Eren, help me! He's going to-" Armin shrieked loudly, then his voice broke into high-pitched screams as Igor began to thrust into him wildly.

These thrusts were rapid, sporadic, and desperate, as if Igor had waited for this moment for years. Igor thrust harder, driven by a feral need to sodomize innocent boys. This right here was the reason he had joined the military—to act on his primal desires, and rape little blonde boys who couldn’t say no. And Armin was his dream come true, because Armin was fucking perfect.

His pretty, agonized screams were music to Igor’s ears. Armin’s flushed, wet face and wide, blue eyes as insanely attractive to the pedophile. Armin was even little, and delicate, just how Igor liked them—and that blonde hair. Fuck, Igor almost orgasmed just observing Armin. He tried to calm himself, and then thought about how tight Armin’s little hole was that he was penetrating. Oh fuck, Igor fucking orgasmed, hard. He hadn’t even properly fucked Armin the way he had wanted to. The boy had only been subjected to a few minutes of repetitive, painful thrusts.

In that time, Eren had yelled obscenities, while Armin sobbed, unabashed. He did not truly understand what was happening to him, nor why, but he knew enough to be scared, and to recoil from the pain.

“No, no, no…I can’t…I can’t be done…huwhaaahhh…” Igor fretted between breathless pants, and the ecstasy that sprang through his tingling body. Armin panted beneath the vile man, breathless and tired from struggling against the monster.

“Well you are so move the fuck over. God. I don’t even want to do this, but I might not get another chance to fuck someone for awhile, so here’s to sloppy thirds.” Dennis said, and kicked Igor off of Armin, who clamped his trembling legs shut with fear. 

Igor rolled over like a cockroach and hissed, then began to fucking cry, agonized he had only had a few minutes with Armin, who was his fantasy come true. “Nooo…” Igor grieved, and scrambled on to his hands and knees to watch Dennis fuck his precious treasure. “Hurt him, hurt him.” Igor goaded desperately, because raping Armin hadn’t been enough for him.

“Shut up.” Dennis snapped at Igor, and then refocused on to Armin, who he forcibly rolled over with his boot. He hadn't intended to brutalize Armin, but it was easier to follow the leader than refrain from a moral high ground. 

"Leave him alone, just leave him alone!" Eren begged, not wanting to see his best friend be hurt again. It was his job to protect Armin, yet Eren couldn't do shit. Dennis climbed on top of Armin, and gripped his hips, to keep Armin from scrambling away. Armin gasped, and scrabbled at the damp dirt, in a vain attempt to crawl away. He was sweaty, from the heat of the bodies that had dominated him, and the struggle he put up in a desperate attempt to keep the men off of him.

“You’re fucking nasty.” Dennis griped, as he jammed his hips forwards, penetrated Armin’s little hole with his cock. Armin only wailed in response, and dug his nails into the muddy Earth. A strangled sob escaped Armin's lips as Dennis began to fuck Armin as if he was a bitch in heat. The thrusts were cruel.

“Stop it, stop it! You’re hurting him!” Eren yelled, speaking for Armin who only seemed to know how to scream, and grunt with pain. Armin must have realized that words, and pleas were useless, or he just couldn’t stop screaming long enough to beg for mercy. “Please, for fucks sake, he’s a virgin!” Eren exclaimed, digging his own nails into the palms of his hands. He was trembling just as hard as Armin was, from feeling his own powerlessness to help his best friend.

“What, you going…to be…his knight…in shining armor…you gay…fuck?” Dennis taunted, as he sodomized Armin, who writhed underneath him frantically. Armin squealed with pain, and managed to catch Eren’s eye.

For a moment, they stared at each other, before a vicious thrust made Armin lose focus on reality. Eren’s green eyes widened with the realization that he wanted to be Armin’s knight in shining armor. Armin was such a princess, it just seemed natural to Eren to then want to protect Armin.

Sweet, innocent Armin who was head down, ass up. Eren swore he felt some of Armin’s humiliation. From what little Eren understood about sex, he knew that position was absolutely degrading, and unnatural, because it gave complete power over the dominant person. Armin seemed to understand this much too, because he was experiencing it.

“You smell…like barn shit. How dirty…are you?” Dennis wondered distractedly, in the midst of thrusting into Armin, because he kept breathing in the scent of straw. He hated the farm smells that wafted off of Armin each time his body jolted forwards. Armin flushed red, and squeezed his eyes shut. He knew he should have bathed two days ago, but he had not wanted to bathe in that cold creek.

Unfortunately, Dennis’s dislike of Armin’s natural scents did not deter him from fucking Armin. Igor bit at his own nails, and drooled over the beads of sweat that trickled down the side of Armin’s face. He fidgeted, and then grabbed at Armin’s hair, to tug on the pretty strands. Armin yipped, and tried to jerk away, but the hand at the back of his throat prevented him from moving, just as effectively as the gun pointed at Eren kept him still.

His best friend was being raped at gun point, but all Eren could do was watch, and feel sick about it.

When Dennis finished with Armin, Igor was only too quick to have a second go at Armin, pressing him hard into the ground, crushing his face into the dirt. Armin shrieked, terrified of Igor, who ravaged him with pent up fury. Boris sighed, but did not intervene, because if he denied Igor now, Igor would never shut up about Armin’s hot pumpkin ass.

Igor penetrated Armin repeatedly, shoving his cock into Armin’s butt. He laughed, and giggled manically, and thrust harder into Armin who was justifiably terrified of the man. “Eren, Eren, Eren!” Armin screamed desperately, and stretched his arm out to Eren. Eren looked down with shame spreading across his face. “Help me!” Armin sobbed, when Eren refused to look at him, and move.

“I—I can’t.” Eren choked out, between his own tears. Armin was calling for him, but he couldn’t do a damn thing to help him.  

“Stop-stop-stop-stop!” Armin pleaded frantically, his raspy, strained voice was barely a whisper. His little cry went ignored. Igor penetrated Armin’s abused hole one more time with his dick, and felt the familiar tingles of an orgasm. The ejaculation came next, and once more, semen filled Armin’s hole, and burned the abrasions, and tears.

But Igor wasn’t done. He swept Armin’s hair off of the back of his neck, and dragged his tongue along the side of Armin’s neck. Armin screeched fearfully, and shuddered, creeped out by the long lick. "Heek!"

“Come on. You’re done. We’re done.” Boris decided, and dragged Igor off of Armin. Igor reached, and flailed for Armin.

“No! No, nooo! I must touch him!” Igor wailed, and continued to protest as he was dragged towards the town. “He’s mine, miiiine!”

“Go shower, Kid. You’re filthy.” Dennis said, before following after Boris and Igor. Albert lowered the gun, and headed after the other soldiers. Viktor looked Armin over, pondered whether he should have his way with the kid, then decided against it and pursued his fellow soldiers.

As soon as their backs were turned, Eren scrambled to Armin’s side, and placed his hands over Armin’s trembling shoulders. To his horror, Armin jerked away from him, and stared at him with accusatory eyes, glossed over and red from tears. Eren shrank back, feeling scolded.

“I am sorry, Armin. I couldn’t do anything, honest!” Eren said, and hated the unforgiving way Armin stared at him, as if this was all his fault. It made Eren feel horrible, because he too believed this was all his fault.

“Th-the potato…” Armin rasped, reminding Eren about the potato that was not sacrificed. If Eren had just listened to him, and had offered up that damn potato to the Potato God, none of this would have happened. Armin was sure of it. Nothing bad ever seemed to happen when potatoes were sacrificed.

“Ah, fuck. You’re right, Armin. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, and I’m so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I should have listened to you, okay?” Eren apologized profusely, as he pulled a reluctant Armin against his own trembling body. “This is all my fault. I swear. Please, take it out on me.” Eren urged Armin, as tears streamed down his face. He had never meant for any of this to happen.

“Why, why couldn’t you…listen?” Armin whimpered with frustration, and rubbed furiously at his eyes that kept tearing up. He couldn’t stop crying, nor calm his racing heart. “Th-they…they…” Armin’s breath hitched in his throat, disrupting his speech as he paused, and tried to make sense of what he had went through. Fuck. Fucked? Armin didn’t know the word for it. “They put their…their…” Armin trailed off again, as the horror consumed his mind. Eren grit his teeth, and held Armin close.

“I know. I know they hurt you, and I am so, so fucking sorry.” Eren apologized profusely, and stroked Armin’s sweaty hair. Armin was angry with Eren, but he was more furious at himself for being weak.

 _If I was a real boy like Eren, they never would have hurt me like that_. Armin told himself, reflecting on how easily the soldiers had believed he was a girl. The local village boys had once forced Armin to play the role of a German princess that they fought over, bossed, and pushed around, as if to prove he was not a 'real boy.' And ever since his parents were murdered, he had been thrust into the role of a woman. Now, he had been treated like a woman. Armin couldn't understand why. He didn't even really know what to call the experience. He just knew he had been scared, and hurt.

“What…what did they _do_ to me!?”  Armin exclaimed, grabbing at his hair and tugged on it as he let out a agonized scream. “Why, why, why me? I’m not…I’m not a girl!” Armin sobbed, becoming hysterical, even as Eren rocked him back and forth. All Armin could think about was how men were independent and strong, yet he reflected no male qualities other than the penis nestled between his legs, and a insufferable, toxic pride.

“I don’t know, Armin. I don’t know but I am so sorry.” Eren murmured, having one arm wrapped protectively around Armin while the other was clutched to the back of his head. Eren knew how feminine Armin was, and always had been. Personally, Eren thought Armin's feminine features were attractive, but he also understood how Armin had been ostracized for his delicate features, and build.

“I’m not a girl!” Armin insisted again, plagued by how life kept forcing him into the traditional roles of a woman. His hands still stung, and now his ass was sore, and throbbing. Would he become pregnant next? None of the village men had become pregnant, but Armin was concerned that he would be the exception. Would one of the soldiers try to take him as a wife?

“Hey, hey. I know that. But, listen to me. Armin, listen.” Eren tentatively grabbed Armin’s chin, and forced the traumatized blonde boy to look at him. “You’re okay now. I am here for you, and we’ll get through this together.” Eren promised, his sad, green eyes were kind, and honest. So honest. Armin’s bottom lip trembled, and then he threw his arms around Eren’s neck and sobbed against his collarbone. Eren always was a safe place for him to fall against.

Neither of them knew what the future would look like or who would be waiting for them when they inevitably returned home. 

For all they knew, they could be orphans now. That unpleasant thought haunted both of them, and wracked their hearts with fear, and guilt. If something happened to their remaining loved ones, they wouldn't be able to forgive themselves for not reaching home before the soldiers did.

All they could do was cry in the comfort of each others arms.


	3. Captured Potatoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Armin limp home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is minor character death, that in some context, follows both the Anime and the Manga. There will be another rape in this chapter. The chapter is short, and the events within it are going to build into something larger because everyone has a breaking point.

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 3: Captured Potatoes**

The sun illuminated the moors, and made it impossible to ignore the blood staining the grass. Eren grimaced at the sight of his best friend’s blood, soaking into the dirt. He looked over his shoulder, and saw Armin smoothing the wrinkles on his clothes that he had just put on. Armin’s hands were still shaking, and an occasional sniffle sounded. Armin was not okay.

“Come on. We have to know if our family is okay.” Eren encouraged gently as he turned and held his hand out to Armin. Armin paused, and stared at Eren’s hand for a minute before deciding to ignore it. He simply nodded in acknowledgement and descended down the grassy hills, heading towards the village. Eren noticed the limp in Armin’s gait, and frowned once more. He couldn’t begin to imagine all of the thoughts Armin must be plagued by.

Screams, and gunshots still echoed across the fields, yet neither boy stopped, since they had no where else to go. Eren limped alongside Armin, and wondered if either of them were going to be okay. The village was the only place they had ever known, but it was clear to both of them that nothing would ever be the same as it once was, just from what little they could make out of the village.

“What happens if Grandpa is gone?” Armin asked suddenly, in a small, fearful voice. He thought about how the soldiers had said that the men of the village would be shot. Did that include the elderly, and the children?

“Then you can live with me and Dad.” Eren suggested, since he could not imagine Armin living in that house all alone. Armin was already lonely, Eren could see that reflected in his eyes. If Armin had to live in his childhood home without any of his family, Eren worried Armin would become more withdrawn and would focus on mundane work.  

“But what if the Potato God took your Dad away too?” Armin wondered aloud, voicing the concerns that were nagging at his anxiety ridden mind.

“Then we’ll live together, wherever you want us too.” Eren offered, trying to remain positive despite the grim circumstances. Armin shook his head, doubting Eren’s suggestions would be as simple as he made them out to sound.  Then again, Eren’s optimism and indomitable spirit were charming qualities that Armin appreciated.

“I’d like that, but what about those people? You don’t think they’re going to stay in our village, do you?” Armin asked, since he could still hear vague screams, and yells in the distance.

“I don’t know. But we’re about to find out.” Eren responded, and thrust a arm in front of Armin to halt his advance towards the wooden house where a soldier was exiting. Armin gasped, and felt his heart flutter with dread. The soldier descended the stairs and turned, heading down the path away from Eren and Armin. Armin’s breath hitched, catching in his throat as he mentally counted the seconds that created distance between them and the retreating soldier.

Armin pushed Eren’s arm out of the way and ran the rest of the way to the house, and hurried up the stairs. In his haste, he tripped, fell, and scrambled back up. “Grandpa.” Armin called as he pulled the front door open and darted into the house. He took a few rushed steps inside his childhood home and stopped abruptly. The wet splashing noise jolted through Armin’s body.

“Hey, why’d you sto—” Eren wondered as he bumped into Armin, who had stopped without warning. Eren peered over Armin and felt his words catch in his throat as he saw what had made Armin freeze. There was a puddle of blood that was soaking into the wood. “Armin.” Eren said with concern as he set a hand on Armin’s trembling shoulder.

“Grandpa!” Armin yelled with alarm, and wrenched away from Eren to race through the house. He didn’t notice Eren follow behind him as he burst into one room, and then another. Armin went through the house, and when he did not find his grandfather, he headed into the basement, where he stopped again.

In the middle of the dreary basement was a hole where the hidden guns had been buried.

“He’s outside. He was fighting.” Armin realized, and whirled around on his heels to hurry upstairs, back to the main floor.

“Yeah, he fought last time, remember? Against those tan skinned invaders. At least, that’s what I heard anyways. I don’t really remember that, though.” Eren commented as he followed Armin up the stairs. The bullet wound in his leg became hot, while the rest of his body became clammy. A dizzy spell assaulted Eren, making him lose his footing. His gasp was barely audible.

However much blood Eren had lost left him weak, and panting on the stairs. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn’t keep up with his best friend for the first time in his life. Armin didn’t even seem to notice either, because he kept going, plagued by the loud, anxiety-riddled thoughts in his head.

Maybe it was selfish of Armin, but all he could think about was his grandfather. Was his grandfather still fighting against the foreign people? Was he winning? Or did he die? Who else was wielding guns? Armin didn’t have to wonder for long because the middle of the village was filled with those foreign people, and the left over villagers, who were predominantly female.

 “Ah, Arthur is going to speak.” A familiar voice amongst the soldiers said. Armin recognized Boris and ducked into the crowd of village women he knew. A lot of the women were crying, disheveled, and bloody, although Armin suspected the blood was largely from husbands. A few of the women even grabbed at Armin to fuss over him.

“There you are! Oh, it’s so horrible, Little One.” Mrs. Schmidt exclaimed, and pulled Armin to her. Armin squeaked with protest, and pushed at her hands distractedly. “They’re all dead. All of them are dead, so dead I won’t even have to cook leftovers for your brave Opa.” Mrs. Schmidt lamented dramatically, as if show everyone else how she was the most upset by the tragedy, and thereby the most caring. Armin froze against Mrs. Schmidt, who pawed at his messy, damp hair.

“This is horrible.” One of the women nearby muttered. 

“In this day of history, we have conquered this German town, and its handsome wenches—” A unfamiliar voice began to boom over the fearful, confused murmurs of the crowd. Some of the soldiers snickered, and sent lewd looks at the women, who cringed away and covered themselves. “I’ll leave a select few men here to keep these women under our control. Russian control. The rest of us are heading out at dawn.” The man—Armin assumed he must be called Arthur, announced to the entire town, in a strong, confident voice.

“That be the Devil speaking in tongues.” Mrs. Schmidt commented, uncaring who heard her because everything had already been taken from her, and the rest of the villagers. What else did they have to lose?

“It…it’s a different language…” Armin muttered, as he craned his neck in an attempt to see past any of the women in front of him. He could only catch glimpses of Arthur, and other soldiers.

“You hush now, Boy. If I say that be the Devil speaking, it’s the Devil.” Mrs. Schmidt chided, wagging her index finger at Armin. Armin groaned, and rolled his eyes. He was done with acting polite, and wrenched himself away from her and pushed past the women in front of him.

Before Armin was the presumed Arthur, assumedly the man with the most power amongst the men. He was speaking with a strong, baritone voice that washed over the crowd in calm, passionate ways. For a moment, Armin froze, concerned he was being addressed personally, but then Arthur’s eyes focused on another person, and then another.

Next to Arthur was the village men, who had been discarded into a pile of lifeless bodies. Armin paled, because every adult male he had ever known was in the pile, bloody and disheveled.

Friedrich the blacksmith who had made various farm tools for Armin’s grandfather. Otto the baker who always gave Armin a slice of cake on his birthday. And Hans, who was the only man who had left the village in search of a better life, but who came back with a hatred of women. Armin could name them, ad many more men, but the adults he focused on both meant something personal to him.

Dr. Jaeger, and Mr. Arlert were amongst the bodies.

“Dad!” Eren gasped with horror, as he pushed through the barrier of women and saw the pile of men. Armin trembled next to him, silently mirroring Eren’s own thoughts.

_Dad’s gone._

_I’m alone_. 

Their thoughts were too similar.

“It is with pride that we take this town in Russia’s name, and burn those that stood against us. Igor, light the fire.” Arthur commanded, and gestured towards the pile of corpses. Armin grabbed Eren’s hand tightly, eyeing the flaming torch in Igor’s hands. He didn’t need to understand Russian to know exactly what was about to happen. Eren glanced at Armin, then looked back, hearing Igor’s insidious giggle.

Igor marched too happily to the dead villagers, and pressed the torch to their clothes, igniting a fire to spread amongst them. The flames illuminated them, and consumed their clothes, and flesh. Armin squeezed Eren’s hand, and shamelessly let mournful tears stroll down his flushed cheeks. Eren felt a fire erupt through his heart, one that shown through his green eyes. He wanted nothing more than to murder every soldier present. The only reason he did not act on his violent impulse was because he understood that Armin needed him now more than ever.

“This was his worst fear…” One woman lamented about her husband, and shook her head. Another woman cried into her hands. Mrs. Schmidt cried the loudest. Some women just stared on with horror while others looked away, turning sick. Children wailed, and were coddled by their mothers.

 A pungent, unique smell assaulted everyone’s nose. Armin turned, and buried his face against Eren’s shirt. Eren clapped a hand over his mouth. Some women remarked about the smell and waved their hand in from of their face, but the scent of burning bodies remained strong.

“Wenches, and brats of Germany, you’ll each be assigned a personal soldier, and one more, if not two more will be assigned to your homes. If any of you resists, or acts out against my soldiers, you will be punished. This back basin is ours.” Arthur declared, in fluent German, which garnered the attention of the women and children. The powerful Russians in leadership roles seemed to all know German.

Murmurs of shocked, horrified protests erupted through the crowd of female adults, and the young teenagers who had not been murdered. Arthur ignored the protests, and began to call for specific Russian soldiers he wanted to stay behind, and keep this location as theirs.

Once two soldiers were called up, they were free to grab a woman they liked, and then she was forced to escort them to her home, kids and all. Mrs. Schmidt was no exception to this rule. A few women tried to run away, or wrestle against their assigned soldiers. They were promptly hit, and one feisty woman was shoved on to the ground and was ass-raped, much to Armin’s horror, and shame.

 _They did that to me_.  Armin thought, and squeezed Eren’s hand with both of his trembling palms. Neither of them had moved much, since they were smart enough to realize that running was futile. There were too many soldiers, and they had Russian guns, and now old German guns from years long past.

“What do you want to tell them when they ask?” Eren asked, since Armin always had a plan, especially when no one else did. Armin simply shook his head.

“Nothing. They already know we’re not related. If we lie, we’ll—I’ll get hurt again. I think it’s best if we…do what we’re told, and when we can meet again…we’ll relay the situation to each other. I’ll decide then what we should do.” Armin said softly, knowing their only choice was to be obedient, and observe the new world they were being forced to be a part of.

“Fine.” Eren agreed reluctantly, since he was too weak to think about fighting off the soldiers that were present. He wouldn’t tell Armin—not that he needed to either, but he still felt weak, and dizzy. So when two men approached Eren, he did not make a scene. Nor did Armin, who quietly stepped away from his best friend. Neither of them wanted to draw unnecessary attention to themselves.

“You. Come, Brat.” The one Russian said, in broken German. Eren barely understood him, but he knew to lead the men to his home, where just hours ago his father had made him a warm egg breakfast. He looked back over his shoulder and met Armin’s eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, and then Eren broke the longing contact to look ahead.

 _I am alone now_. Armin thought, and looked at the last few women around him _. I never did see Mikasa. What happened to her_?  Armin wondered to himself, as two more soldiers let another women lead them away. Armin clenched his hands into fists, and took in a small breath to steady himself. It was only a matter of time before Igor spotted him. Armin knew, and grudgingly accepted that.

“Boris. You’re a damn good leader. You’ll stay here, and govern the rest of the lackeys, especially Igor.” Arthur said, and gestured with his hand to Igor, who was watching the bodies burn. Igor looked up as he heard his name be mentioned. “Igor, you and Boris will choose someone to live in and govern.”

“Understood, General.” Boris acknowledged, and scanned the remaining villagers. His eyes slid over the women in search of someone he could stomach looking at. Boris spotted Armin and headed towards him. The kid was feminine, and delicate—more so than the remaining woman, and, Armin had a cute ass that he could use to waste the days away.

Igor squealed, and hurried behind Boris. “Yes, yes, I want him!” Igor exclaimed excitedly, and rushed towards Armin. Boris held out his arm, to stop Igor from tackling the pretty blonde boy to the ground.

“Hold it. You will restrain yourself. That’s an order.” Boris commanded Igor, who was reaching for Armin wildly. Armin took a few fearful steps back, and debated on running. “Take us to your home.” Boris told Armin, who stared at Igor with apprehension. Igor could only have one thought on his mind, and Armin could only think about how much he did not want that penis anywhere near his butt. “Kid.” Boris spoke louder, to gain Armin’s attention.

“R-right.” Armin grumbled, and turned, to reluctantly lead the men to his grandfather’s home. Armin felt fresh tears burn hot at the corners of his eyes as he thought about his grandfather, and his dreary future. He was leading horrible men to his home. Men who were going to abuse him.

“Don’t sound so dour. You’re lucky I was assigned alongside Igor. He’d have raped you in front of the remaining women.” Boris chided, taking some of his anger out on the trembling boy. He was pissed that he had to stay in this rural village, and babysit Igor who was staring at Armin’s ass and was drooling over it.

No one would ever guess Igor was a skilled marksmen. Boris didn’t believe it half the time, and especially not when Igor behaved like a creepy fool around young boys.

“Raped?” Armin questioned, feeling a strange connection to the unfamiliar word.

“Yeah. Rape. We forced you to have sex with us. In some parts of the world, that’s illegal. And amongst our own military, we’re not supposed to rape the locals, but most of us are just men. Some of us get bored, and others just want to feel something so more often than not, no one actually cares if a few villagers are raped, especially in desolate towns like this.” Boris informed, and kept Igor at bay with a few warning glances.

“Oh.” Armin muttered, and stared gloomily at the ground as he limped home. His ass throbbed, but the adrenaline kept him walking. He now had a few words with which he could label the awful experience he suffered. Sex. Rape. Fuck. He distinctly remembered that word from earlier, and hadn’t quite understood it then, but now he did.

What was more, was that Boris seemed to know that rape was wrong, but he had committed it anyways. Armin wasn’t sure who was worse at this point. Boris, or Igor who had not seemed to ever acknowledge that his lust for Armin was illegal, and morally wrong.

“Is this your place?” Boris guessed, seeing the lone, wooden house at the end of the dirt road, that sat on the left. Armin nodded with acknowledgement, and headed up the stairs slowly, mindful of his aching body. He took another breath for encouragement and with a shaking hand, he opened the door. Armin stepped into the home, and spotted the blood on the ground. He numbly headed to the couch, where he hoped he could rest his weary feet.

“Yeah!” Igor exclaimed, and shoved Armin on to the couch, to enact out one of his many fantasies. Armin let out a startled shout as he was pushed against the couch. He wrested his shoulders, in an attempt to throw the man off of him. “Gonna make you mine!” Igor declared in his native Russian tone, and tugged at Armin’s pants, exposing his pretty, ivory skin marred with bruises.

“Ah! No, no!” Armin yelled desperately, quickly becoming frantic as he imagined his hole being split open again, so soon after the last few rapes.

“Damn it, Igor. Get off of him.” Boris scolded, and pulled Igor off of Armin.

“What? No, no! I waited, I—” Igor began to complain frantically, then remembered his place and shut up, much to Boris’s relief. Armin scrambled to the far end of the couch, and tugged his pants back up. He wasn’t sure why Boris spared him from another sexual assault, but the gratefulness mingled with the fear swirling through his eyes.

“You. Armin, was it? I saw fields outside. Your hands also seem to suggest you are a farmer. Are you?” Boris asked, and grabbed the back of Igor’s shirt collar to keep him from pouncing on Armin again. Armin pulled his legs against his trembling body, and nodded cautiously. “Good You’re going to harvest everything out there, and then you’re going to plant new stuff for our soldiers, and our army.” Boris instructed, and pointed towards the visible back door of the house.

“…Now?” Armin asked, furrowing his eyebrows together with confusion.

“That, or I’ll let him go.” Boris said, giving Armin an ultimatum that made Igor perk up.

Armin’s scared blue eyes widened with that thought, and then he fucking ran outside. Armin grabbed the basket next to the door and headed to the fields. He searched the gardens for ripe fruit. It was a bit too soon to harvest the fruits, and vegetables. He heard the back door shut, and knew he had been followed.

“Why are you standing around?” Boris questioned, joining Armin in the fields. Igor was at his side, and was already looking at Armin as if he wanted to fuck him into the dirt. Armin took a step back, feeling uncomfortable.

“Th-the plants aren’t ready…they need a few more days, otherwise they’ll taste a bit sour, or dry…” Armin responded hesitantly, since he wasn’t sure how Boris would react to the bad news.

“I don’t care. We’ve been eating rations for weeks. Anything will taste good at this point, so harvest everything. Now.” Boris commanded impatiently, and folded his arms across his chest. Startled, Armin began to branches, dig the potatoes from the ground. He had to make various trips back to the house, where he set the food on the table.

His already sore hands were cut from the plants, rubbed raw from the dirt, and were bit by the occasional bug. Armin did not complain with words, even as he was forced to prepare the land for the morning. He was hungry, tired, and hurt, but he kept his comments to himself, even when Boris occasionally yelled at him to work faster. Armin couldn’t keep from groaning from the pain and hunger throughout the long hours of laborious fieldwork.

Each groan lit a intrigued fire in Igor’s eyes, one that was getting harder, and harder for Boris to control. Armin knew, even as he obediently worked the land that before the night was through, Igor was going to rape him. It was only a matter of time. Armin couldn’t, and would not pretend that Boris could keep Igor off of him forever.

“Go. Eat something, and head to bed.” Boris finally said, giving Armin the permission to retire that he had longed for for the last few hours. Armin did not need to be told twice. He headed to the well where he drew some water to drink, and drink, and drink.

Once Armin’s thirst had been quenched, he tiredly headed into the house, where Boris gestured for him to sit at the table with him and Igor. Armin didn’t dare refuse the offer and sat down. He grabbed a potato, rubbed the dirt off of it, and with a knife he peeled the brown skin off of it. Then Armin bit into the potato, and ate it raw. He was too tired, and hungry care about how tough the potato was to bite into, or how flavorless it was.

“Tomorrow, you’ll till the land, and plant new seeds. We need as many potatoes as possible to feed ourselves, and our army invading this cold land.” Boris mentioned as he took the knife to peel his own potato to eat. Igor kept looking at Armin. Armin squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, and glanced back at Boris with apprehension.

“If…if I promise to be obedient, will you keep him off of me?” Armin asked tentatively, unable to hide the bit of stray hope in his tone. He hunched his shoulders and lowered his head to look up at Boris, attempting to make himself look smaller, and more defenseless than he already was, as a ploy.

“No. What Igor does to you when you’re not working for the Russian army is of little concern to me.” Boris replied, and bit into the hard potato. Armin’s face fell. “Some nights, you can even expect me to claim you as my woman.” Boris informed Armin, who suddenly lost his appetite. Armin set the half eaten potato on the table, and quickly headed down the hall.

 _What did I do to deserve this_? Armin wondered sorrowfully as he shut the door behind him, and then let himself collapse on to the bed that he called his own. In one day, he had been orphaned, and had had his virginity pummeled out of him. The only reason he was alive now was because he was useful as a multifunctional slave. He was young, but he was already beginning to understand that concept.

Many thoughts, and worries flitted through Armin’s brain, but now that he was lying down, and aching, he began to drift off into a fitful sleep. He was almost successful, and then he heard the door open. Armin’s eyes fluttered open as dread shot through his body. Quick, heavy footsteps alerted Armin as to who was approaching him.

His worst fears were confirmed as Igor climbed on top of him. Armin gasped and clamped his legs shut, but Igor tore them apart, and nestled himself between his legs. “No, no, no!” Armin shrieked hysterically, as he desperately tried to kick at Igor. Since Igor had weaseled himself between Armin’s thighs, the boy could only flail his legs uselessly. Igor smirked, and slid his tongue across his lips as he watched Armin thrash underneath him.

“I’ll have you now.” Igor stated in his native tongue, and ripped Armin’s shirt open. He then pinned Armin’s wrists to the bed, and ducked his head to drag his tongue along Armin’s neck.

“Eeee!” Armin squealed with alarm and tried desperately to shy away from the warm tongue that rubbed against his adam’s apple. A noise of approval left Igor’s lips, and then he licked one of Armin’s pink nipples. Armin squirmed, and twisted uselessly. “Stop, oh god, just stop!” Armin sobbed, as his pants were tugged off of his body. He knew exactly what was going to happen to him and there was no one there to save him.

“Yes, scream, scream and beg me.” Igor goaded, hearing the pleading tone of Armin’s voice, who he was pushing against the mattress. The blanket was draped over Igor, from when he slid under it upon coming on to the bed, as if to hide the dirty act he was about to commit.

“No, no…” Armin whimpered, and continued to struggle against the vile man, who had both of his wrists pinned together with one hand.

Igor’s smirk grew as he watched Armin tremble with terror. He spit on to his hand, and rubbed the spit on to his dick. Igor thrust his hardened cock into Armin’s bruised butthole. The spit did nothing to cool the dry burn that ignited through Armin’s abused tunnel. Armin let out an involuntary scream as he was split open, and tensed. Igor giggled sadistically, and buried his dick into Armin’s warm body. Armin strained, and writhed underneath him, while tears streamed down his cheeks. 

“Mmm, you’re so pretty, crying like that.” Igor purred, and began to move on top of Armin in quick, eager movements. He licked the tears off of Armin’s flushed face, and continuously smashed their hips together, repeatedly forcing his dick into Armin’s poor little hole. Armin blatantly sobbed, and screamed as the cock was shoved into his abused rectum. No amount of screams, nor thrashes seemed to deter Igor.

As the horrific sexual assault continued well into the night, Armin forgot how to use words. He could only blubber, and shout with pain. His heavy, exhausted breaths, and pained groans sounded alongside Igor’s own pants, and the awful noise of flesh slapping against flesh. Igor quickly pummeled Armin’s hole as his stomach tightened with the hint of a oncoming release. He felt a warm liquid coat his dick, and thrust himself into Armin with more vigor, excited over the distress Armin was in.

“Coming, coming, ahhh…” Igor announced, as he stuffed his cock into the defenseless hole. He ejaculated, filling Armin’s spongy cavern up with the sperm. Armin strained, and writhed, feeling the cum burn his wounds.  “Hah…hah…I’ll return in the morning for you.” Igor promised, and patted Armin’s cheek with his hand. Armin shied away from the vile touch, and grit his teeth.

Igor crawled off of Armin, and left the room. Armin rolled over, on to his side, and curled himself into a tight ball, and sobbed. He was in too much pain to properly mourn his family, and realize just how dire of a situation the villagers were in.

All he could think about was the pain itself. Some of the hurt was brought on by hunger. Some of it was brought upon by overworking himself in the garden. The rest of the insufferable rapes, that were prominent in his mind.

Armin did not know when he fell asleep because his dreams were wracked with pain, and suffering.

 


	4. Potatos of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin seeks the comfort of his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted chapter three and four today so be sure you aren't skipping a chapter.
> 
> In this chapter, rape is pretty prominent, and I apologize for that. However, Armin does get to see Eren again, and seeks comfort from him. That part should be worth reading, since the actual story is beginning to unravel and come to life now. ;D

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 4: Potatoes of Change**

Morning rose on the small, battered village. The pungent scent in the air was thick, and unforgiving. Villagers woke, and remembered their husbands, and fathers were deceased, along with the occasional son that had been unfortunate enough to reach adulthood. Those boys who were sixteen, or who appeared to be sixteen and older had been murdered alongside the rest of the men.

Leftover were the young males who could potentially be molded, and controlled to be complacent with their newfound lives as worker slaves. The women were to go about their daily routines, and not complain if the soldiers deigned to rape them. It was only the morning, but disease was spreading. Anyone who argued, or struggled against their captors was consequently battered, and or raped.

It was a lesson Armin had already learned yesterday; Be obedient. That was the only way he and Eren was going to survive, until he could think of a plan to rescue themselves, and or the entire town. However, plans were the last thing on Armin’s mind as he woke up to an excruciating agony that made his mind paralyzed with pain.

The sun had barely risen over the mountains, yet Igor was sodomizing Armin fervently. Armin was powerless to push Igor off of him, he had learned that lesson last night. That didn’t stop him from pushing at Igor, who smirked with amusement. He knew Armin was too weak to hurt him, but it was damn cute that Armin was trying—hitting at his chest, shoving at him.

“Mmph!” Armin screamed into the hand clamped over his mouth, and rubbed his feet against the matrass as he kicked. Igor hummed as Armin struggled underneath him, and continued to penetrate his tight hole with his throbbing cock.

Igor fucked Armin up his ass to his hearts content, and ejaculated into him when he was finished with the pretty, flushed blonde teenager. Igor panted, and with his free hand, he pulled, and tugged on Armin’s messy hair that was damp with sweat. Armin whimpered as Igor dragged his tongue across his sweaty shoulder. The incessant licking was invasive, and made Armin’s skin crawl. He wasn’t sure what he hated more. The rape that made him feel powerless or the licking that left him feeling objectified, as if he were a piece of meat.

“What are you doing to him?” Igor and Armin both jumped, and craned their heads to the doorway where Boris stood, with his arms folded across his chest.

“Fucking his pretty little hole.” Igor responded, and pinched Armin’s nipple. Armin groaned into the hand covering his mouth, and writhed underneath the cruel man.

“No you’re not. Get the fuck off of him.” Boris told the unruly soldier, in a firm voice. Igor climbed off of Armin, dabbed himself off with the blanket, and then fixed his pants. Boris rolled his eyes as he shook his head with irritated disbelief that Igor had already raped the trembling blonde. “Get the fuck out of here and do not ever come back to his room in the morning. We need him to work those fields. He can’t do that if you’re fucking his brains out from dusk to dawn.” Boris scolded Igor, and jerked his thumb back to the door.

“No promises.” Igor responded as he headed for the door. Boris grabbed his arm, to stop him.

“That’s a fucking order. You’re not allowed to fuck him in the mornings.” Boris warned, and shut the door behind Igor, who sputtered in shocked protest. Boris looked back to Armin who had retreated to the corner of the bed, and had pressed himself against the wall corner. He was trembling, and flushed.

 _He’ll never work for us if he’s traumatized. I am going to have to keep Igor off of him_. Boris realized, and approached Armin, who watched him with wary, tired eyes. “It’s unfortunate your ass must be sore. However, you’re still required to get out there and plow those fields, or whatever it is that you do, so go on.” Boris said, and gestured with his hand to the door. Armin hesitated, and brought his hands against his chest, as if to guard them. “Now.” Boris commanded, and watched Armin scramble out of bed obediently.

As a loud, Russian leader, Boris had that effect on people who were of a lower status than him. Armin did not bother to change his clothes, and headed straight for the kitchen. He snagged the half eaten potato off of the table, and gnawed at it as he went outside, into the brisk morning air. There was no other option available to him, and he knew that. Boris, like Igor, was not going to take no for an answer.

With that thought in mind, Armin did the best he could to ignore the rampant pain that bit at every nerve he had in his body. His hole burned, while the rest of his body ached, and throbbed. Armin grit his teeth, and pushed past the pain simply because he fucking had to. If he had had his way, he would have curled up into a ball, and laid for hours on end in an attempt to feel better. His grandfather would have had Dr. Jaeger visit him, and he would have patched his hands up.

That type of care was something Armin found himself craving desperately as he worked the land that he knew well. Farming was something he knew how to do. He just didn’t like it, especially not as blisters formed on his hands, and then split open from the excessive work he had no reprieve from. Armin panted as the sun rose higher into the sky, and sweated. He wanted a drink of water, he wanted food, and most of all, he wanted to collapse against his grandfather and cry as if he were five years old again.

There was no shame in those thoughts, because Armin was quickly becoming desperate to have who, and what he lost. As bad as his life had been before, it was so much worse now. Boris wouldn’t let him stop to rest. There was work to be done, and Boris wanted it to be done hours ago. Never mind how exhausted, and hungry Armin was. His hands bled, and he was pretty sure the strenuous work had only aggravated the wounds he hadn’t yet been able to address.

This wasn’t a life he wanted to live.

When night blanketed the fields, Armin was allowed to leave. Armin limped straight to the well where he drew water, and drank the water for a long time, until he felt sick from the consumption of water. He pulled more water, up, and buried his agonized hands into the water, and let them soak. The fields around him were dark, with the moon as the only source of light. Armin rested against the well, and thought about how much he missed his family, and Eren.

If there was a war going on, Armin wondered if the Bundeswehr would come, and rescue their village from Russian control. It was a fleeting thought, since his thoughts circulated back around to how much he hurt, and how tired he was. At this point, he wasn’t sure what hurt more—his hands, or his ass. Armin splashed the cold water on to his face, and then dipped a wet finger between his legs. He rubbed the sore hole with his finger, in a attempt to cool the awful burn.

Armin repeatedly wet his finger into the cold water, and pressed it to the swollen hole. It was the only relief he could get. Armin took a breath, held it, and then pushed his wet finger into his hole. This was the only way he could clean himself. A bit of water would not chase potential infections away, but it gave Armin a false sense of relief. As painful as it was, he knew it was necessary.

What Armin needed was a proper bath in the creek, but he was not about to travel down to the water when all he wanted to do was sleep. A crude laugh meant that sleep would have to wait. Armin’s flushed face paled with terror, having been caught with his pants around his ankles, and his finger buried in his butt. He opened his mouth to explain, or scream—he wasn’t quite sure, but all he was able to do was sputter uselessly as Igor advanced on him.

“All squeaky clean? How gross. I’ll fill you with my hot cock. Come here, my pretty.” Igor purred, as he undid the belt from around his waist. He let the belt drop, and began to fumble with his pants. Armin tugged his own pants up, and fucking bolted into the fields, running as fast as his battered body would let him.

Flight was triggered through Armin’s veins, and caused his heart to race. A noise of approval left Igor’s throat, and within seconds, he tackled Armin to the ground. Armin shouted, and twisted fearfully underneath Igor.

“No, no, get off of me! Get off, get off!” Armin yelled, scrabbling at the ground in an attempt to escape. His nails only managed to claw at the soft dirt. Igor grabbed Armin’s neck, and held him down as he pulled the pants off of his narrow hips, exposing his abused ass.

No matter how hard Armin tried, he could not lift his head, not while a firm hand was pressed to the back of his neck. Igor put his weight on Armin, forcing him against the Earth, and shoved a finger into Armin’s anus. Armin’s breath caught in his throat. Igor wedged a second finger into Armin’s butt, and then a third.

“Scream. Scream just like that.” Igor encouraged Armin, as he mercilessly finger-fucked his swollen hole. He watched Armin squirm, and buck his hips wildly, and heard his pained grunts, and groans. “Yes, feel it. Feel my nails scrape your fleshy walls.” Igor enthused, fucking Armin with his fingers, simply to see him writhe from the prolonged sexual torture.

“It hurts...it hurts…” Armin cried, rubbing his head against the dirt, and continued to claw at it. His German words went ignored, while Igor continued to torment him. From what Boris said, Armin had a horrible feeling that he would be raped every night, from now on, just like this. If he took too long to come into the house, would he be raped in the middle of the fields? Armin didn’t want to find out, but he was sure he would.

“I’ll dirty your asshole all over again, every time you clean it.” Igor promised, as he pulled his fingers out of Armin, and positioned his erection against Armin’s quivering, red hole. He plunged into Armin, and felt the tight ring of muscles contract around his penis. He moaned, and buried himself to the hilt of his body. Armin let out an agonized shriek, one that hit a high octave as Igor fucked him senseless, in the middle of the field.

Igor pumped his cock in and out of Armin viscously, further bruising the hole. He reveled in Armin’s panicked sobs. Armin was desperate to escape, and clawed wildly at the dirt, that aggravated the nasty blisters on his hands. He threw his pride aside, and begged for mercy that never came. Igor took his time sodomizing the young teenager, and eventually filled the rectum up with sperm.

Now that Igor had his fill of his sweet, blonde fantasy, he returned to the house, slithering away like a shadow in the dark. Armin sniffled, and rubbed tears away from his eyes just enough so that he could make out the well in the dull moonlight. He pulled his pants up, and crawled over to the well, where he cleaned himself up with the discarded bucket of water. Armin only cleaned the most private part of himself, not bothering with fresh blood on his thighs, that had smeared and trickled over dry blood. He dumped the water when he was finished, drew fresh water, drank it, and then trudged back to the house with his metaphorical tail between his legs.

Once Armin was inside, Boris was waiting for him at the kitchen table. Armin tensed, and instinctively thought to run. Boris patted the empty chair next to him. Armin swallowed hard, and found himself sitting down despite himself. On the table was a plate, with mashed potatoes on it, with green beans. Armin stared hungrily at the simple meal, but he didn’t dare touch it. Instead, he nervously fidgeted in his seat.

“You have the important job of providing potatoes for the Russian army. This means that I can not let you starve to death. Eat.” Boris said, and gestured to the plate with his hand. Armin grabbed at the spoon, then hissed in pain and dropped it. His hands trembled, and hurt. He stood up, found a cloth, and wrapped it around his right hand. Armin tried once again to grip the spoon and keep hold of it.

But even eating proved to be difficult—almost downright impossible, simply because his mangled hands screamed at him. Armin almost gave up. That was when Boris left, and headed down the hall. Armin looked around himself, and once he confirmed he was alone, he ducked his head, and ate without the use of his hands. No one was around to see him eat like a dog, but he still felt humiliated, even after he disappeared into his bedroom. The humiliation followed him and plagued his mind as he let himself collapse on to the bed.

There was only one bright side to the awful day he suffered, and that was that he had food in his stomach. Armin pulled the blanket over his head, curled himself up into a tight ball, and cried himself to sleep.

One Grueling Week Later

Every morning for a week Armin was woken up by Boris, who then forced him to work in the fields for long, unforgiving hours. The first time Armin collapsed, he woke up in his own bed, and to his surprise, he was left alone for the rest of the day. Boris had even brought him bread, and water. Armin had been told than that he must not faint like that again—or else. The threat embedded himself into Armin’s brain, and made him panic six days later when he was working in the fields and again felt his body become weak, and heavy.

No amount of panic kept his battered body from shutting down. The fainting spell was completely involuntary, which was why Armin could only scream in frustration when he woke up naked in the field, with his ass throbbing from a too familiar dry burn. Armin sobbed, realizing he had been raped while he had been unconscious.  There was nothing more unsettling than that. Armin slowly collected his clothes when he exhausted himself with crying, and with trembling hands, he pulled them on. He stood up slowly, and felt blood, and sperm trickle down his thighs.

By now, it was a familiar, unnerving sensation that made Armin want to claw his skin off of his muscles. He limped past the laundry line that he had slaved over while he was not working in the fields. Armin headed down the street, letting his feet guide him to his unknown destination. He saw children working in the fields, some of whom had not been avid farmers before the soldiers came. One woman was even being raped against the side of her house. Armin was too numb and detached to react to the different horrors he saw on his walk.

The moment he saw Eren’s house, Armin quickened his pace, realizing he needed to see his childhood friend now more than ever before. He spotted Eren, and Mikasa working in the fields. A soldier was lording over them, barking orders. And to Eren’s credit, he did not yell back, nor punch the man out.

Mikasa noticed Armin in the distance, and caught his eyes, making him freeze. She threw the farm tool on the ground, and tactfully ran into the house, despite how the soldier yelled at her. The Russian chased her inside the house. Eren tensed, and was about to follow Mikasa inside, but he noticed Armin standing uncertainly on the open road.

 _Oh. She created a diversion_.  Eren realized, and ran towards Armin who diligently waited for him. “Armin!” Eren called happily, and set his hands on Armin’s sides, and plucked him up off of his feet. Armin gasped with surprise as the ground disappeared underneath him, and he was spun around as if he didn’t weigh anything. “You’re alive.” Eren cheered with relief, and hugged Armin’s little body against him.

“Am I?” Armin wondered glumly, unsure he was happy about being alive when he was living the life of a overworked slave. Armin buried his nose against Eren’s neck, and inhaled his friends familiar scent and found nostalgic comfort in it.

“Yeah, where’ve you been, Armin? I’ve been waiting for you.” Eren pressed, pressing his left hand against the back of Armin’s head, and felt the greasy, damp hair. He immediately thought that was odd because Armin always used to smell fresh, if not like the flowers they used to play in when they were little. Armin’s hair had certainly never been greasy, nor tangled before either, despite not having a mother to nag him about cleanliness.

“I couldn’t come to you before…but I’m here now…can you take me to the crick? I think…I really want to bathe, or drown…” Armin said and looped his thin arms around Eren’s neck. Eren caught a whiff of Armin and decided a visit to the creek was a good idea. He swept Armin’s legs up, and carried him down the street.

“What would make you say something like that?” Eren asked, becoming more, and more concerned for his best friend that had disappeared for a week straight. If Armin was suicidal, something must be terribly wrong because he had always wanted to leave the village and see the world. Now, it sounded as if Armin had given up on his dreams, judging by the tone of his voice, and the shameless way he let Eren carry him. Armin never would have allowed this type of contact before.

“He…won’t stop touching me.” Armin murmured softly in response, and let his heavy eyes close. He was exhausted from the walk over here, and the fitful sleep he got that was too often plagued by nightmares of the fields, or Igor.

“Who?” Eren demanded to know, as anger flit through his body. Someone was still touching Armin? That day on the hills was not an isolated event? Just how much more had Armin suffered in a week? He looked down at his friend, and saw the dirt, and grass stains that were smudged on to his cloths, as if he had been working a lot with the fields at home. His dirty pants had holes that exposed bruised knees, covered in dried blood. Eren was suddenly nervous to see more of Armin’s body.

“That creepy one…he touches me at night…and apparently, if I collapse in the fields, he’ll  _still_ touch me.” Armin muttered bitterly, and let his hands rest against his stomach. He trusted Eren not to drop him. Plus, he felt sleep sweeping over his body, and was intent to welcome in.

“I’ll fucking kill him.” Eren swore, recalling the way Igor and other men had fucked Armin as if he had been a bitch in heat. Armin’s flushed, agonized face was one Eren wasn’t about to forget. He wondered how many times Armin had been bent over since then. Armin smiled upon hearing the promise in Eren’s voice, and let himself succumb to the urge to sleep.

It was a short nap, yet Armin slept better than he had in a week. No dreams assaulted, nor caressed his sleep deprived mind. Armin woke, resting against Eren who sat on a large rock near the creek. He heard the noise of the water trickling by, and took momentary comfort in it. Armin shifted against Eren, and rubbed at his swollen eyes.

“Hey, welcome back.” Eren greeted warmly, and pushed some of Armin’s tangled hair out of his face. He spotted a hickey on Armin’s neck and frowned. He wanted to inquire about Armin’s life these last few days, but he resisted that urge, since Armin already basically told him.

“Ah…are we here?” Armin inquired sleepily, and let out a yawn as he stretched his arms above his head. Eren nodded with acknowledgement, and watched Armin slowly stand up on his own, and waited to see if he needed help. Armin stepped to the edge of the creek, and pulled his shirt off. Eren saw that Armin’s back was covered in bruises and hickeys. His arms were splotched, and dotted with hand shaped print bruises, which were prominent on his wrists.

“If you need help, let me know.” Eren offered, since Armin seemed unsteady on his feet. Armin let out a noise of acknowledgement while he pulled his pants down and stepped out of them. Eren’s audible gasp of horror brought heat to Armin’s face, and made the corners of his eyes sting with embarrassment. Eren was staring at the hand prints bruising Armin’s thighs, and the sensual curve of his waist.

Smeared on Armin’s thighs was dried blood, from each day of the week. Eren clambered up from the rock and hurried around Armin, to face him. Armin instinctively tried to back up. Eren grabbed his forearms. “Wait. Let me look at you.” Eren insisted, not wanting Armin to hide away from him now. Armin bit his bottom lip and looked away.

“I’m dirty, Eren. You should let me bathe first.” Armin murmured, shying away from Eren who was paying attention to his body in a way no one else had for a week.

“I don’t care about that, Armin. I am worried for you.” Eren admitted earnestly. Armin tentatively looked at Eren, saw his honest, worried eyes and felt all of his defenses melt. Eren fucking cared about him, about how he felt, and if he was okay or not. Armin relaxed his shoulders, and wrapped his arms around Eren to cry on him with grateful relief.

Even after all of this time, Eren cared, and that resonated strongly within Armin who was lonely, and desperate for positive human contact. Eren closed his eyes, and wrapped one arm around his friend’s lithe, trembling body, while his other hand fisted in his dull, yellow hair caked with dirt.

“Shit, Armin…what the fuck did they do to you?” Eren wondered, and held Armin close to him. Armin had never been so candid about his own problems before. Armin did not have a habit of crying in front of anyone—yet the tears came fast, and hard. Eren could feel the tears dampen his shirt, and  imagined himself shooting the soldiers who stole Armin’s innocence, and independence.

Not that Eren minded being Armin’s soft place to fall—Eren was very grateful Armin trusted him, and felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable. Yet, at the same time, Eren hated those men for making Armin feel this upset in the first place.

“Boris called it rape…he said as long as I’m not working in the fields, or doing household chores, Igor can rape me, and he does. I can’t understand him, but every time he speaks, dread fills me.” Armin responded, through the tears. He sniffled, and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. It felt refreshing to have someone care about him.

“Yeah, I bet.” Eren agreed, and rubbed his thumb against a hickey on Armin’s neck. Armin placed a hand over Eren’s hand. Eren saw the wounds, and blisters on Armin’s hand. Eren carefully grabbed his bruised wrist, and brought his hand to his lips. Armin blinked. “I always loved your soft, delicate hands…now they’re mangled, and all I want to do is murder those assholes.” Eren professed, and then kissed another wound on Armin’s trembling hand.

“You can’t, Eren. We have no weapons. Our only option is to wait for help.” Armin told Eren, and stepped around him to lower himself into the shallow end of the creek. Eren quickly pulled his shoes, and clothes off of his body, and joined Armin in the creek, like old times.

Only, everything had changed since the last time they sat in the brisk water.

“Then we’ll wait, but how can I protect you while we are waiting for help?” Eren inquired, and pushed Armin’s hands away from his body. “Let me.” Eren suggested, and carefully rubbed the blood off of Armin’s thighs with his copper skinned hands. Armin sat back, and let Eren wash him.

“Can’t. I already told you, we just have to wait…and that means that he’s going to continue to touch me and there’s nothing we can do about it.” Armin replied, resting some of his weight on his hands, that were submerged under the water. He winced as Eren’s hands dabbed at his knees.

“I can’t accept that when I know you’re going to be hurt.” Eren stated, and cupped handfuls of water to pour over Armin’s body.

“You have to. We don’t have any other choice.” Armin lamented with frustration, and hated the powerlessness that crept underneath his skin. He wondered if Eren felt it too.

“Ugh, you can’t even walk, but you want me to look the other way?” Eren griped, as he gently nudged Armin back to wet his hair. Armin lowered himself on his arms, and tilted his head back.

“I can walk. It just hurts to do so.” Armin quipped stubbornly, and closed his eyes in appreciation as he felt Eren’s hands massage his head. He was so thankful he still had Eren to rely on.

“Still. If there’s anything I can do to make you feel better, just let me know.” Eren told Armin, and began to work the tangles out of Armin’s hair. Armin made a noise of acknowledgement, and closed his eyes, relaxing at the gentle touch. He thought about how much he had missed Eren, and had yearned for him.

Now Eren was here, and he was soft, and attentive to his feelings. Suddenly, it didn’t matter anymore if Eren was the root cause of all of this mayhem. Armin wanted to feel Eren’s hands on his body, pain or no pain.

“Kiss me.” Armin suddenly requested, wanting to know what a kiss was, and why adults snuck them when they thought no one was looking. He opened his blue eyes, and stared into Eren’s surprised, green orbs.

“What?” Eren gasped, shocked that Armin was expressing interest in romance after everything he had been through. Armin shifted, propping himself up on his elbows, and lifted up as much as he could, straining to reach Eren.

“Please. I just want to know what it’s like before it’s taken from me too.” Armin pleaded as cutely as he could, to entice Eren to play along with his whim.

“Oh.” Eren muttered, and smiled sadly, understanding now why Armin wanted to be kissed. He ducked his head, letting his brunette hair fall around his face, and planted a chaste, upside down kiss on Armin’s chapped lips. Armin blinked.

“Is…is that it?” Armin asked, unable to contain the disappointment in his tone. He had thought there was more to kissing then a simple timid brush of lips. He rolled over, pushed himself into a sitting position and wrung his wet hair out.

“No…there’s more to it. I just didn’t want to startle you.” Eren admitted, and gently stroked Armin’s cheek with his hand.

“Show me. Show me everything you know.” Armin encouraged, wanting Eren to be his first for any potential unexplored territory. He did not want another stranger to have any more claim to him. Eren was taken aback by Armin’s comment, but saw the seriousness in his friend’s eyes, so he cupped Armin’s cheeks against his palms, and pressed their lips together.

Eren kept the kiss light and explorative, easing Armin into something he shouldn’t have experienced until his wedding night with a village girl. Their dire situation left them little choice—Eren gave Armin exactly what he wanted, because fuck, Armin deserved to be treated nicely. Armin returned the kiss, and let Eren set the pace.

It never failed to astonish Armin how far Eren was willing to go to make him happy. Eren probably only wanted to kiss Mikasa—they both talked about it before, wondering who would marry the pretty, exotic, oriental girl who seemed out of place in the village. Eren always seemed like the likely fiancé, and yet, he was showing Armin what kissing was all about, in the creek they grew up bathing in.

“If you want me to stop, I swear I will.” Eren promised against Armin’s lips, and then resumed kissing him. Armin smiled at the thought that Eren would stop if he told him to, and suddenly he wanted to kiss Eren with fervor. He wasn’t sure what the fluttery feeling was that bubbled in his gut whenever Eren was around, but it was back now, and Armin didn’t want to ignore it.

“Good.” Armin murmured against Eren’s lips, and obediently parted his lips when Eren’s tongue pressed against them. He made a noise of surprise as Eren’s tongue brushed against his own. Armin hadn’t expected that, but he returned the gesture, flicking his tongue against Eren’s.

They kissed like that for awhile, content in each others arms. Armin broke away first, flushed and breathless. “Erase their touches. I want your hands on me.” Armin encouraged, his voice soft, and sincere. For days, Armin dreaded every touch and cringed away from hands grabbing at him. But now, Armin wanted Eren’s hands on him.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Eren protested, pulling away from Armin who had been hurt too many times already. Armin grabbed Eren’s wrist, and searched his eyes.

“You won’t hurt me.” Armin assured his uncertain best friend, and stared at him with trust shining in his blue eyes. Eren relaxed a little, and leaned in, nudging Armin back, against the river bank. Armin propped his elbows on the grass, and willingly spread his legs for Eren. Eren was grateful Armin’s stomach, and vulnerable parts of his body were submerged under the water, because if they hadn’t been, he’d have been blushing hard.

“Let’s say I hope you’re right about this.” Eren said, and lowered his knees against Armin’s hips, to hold him in place. He dipped his hand into the water, and felt Armin’s body up to find the hidden, puckered hole. Once Eren found it, he penetrated its depths with his index finger. Armin barely tensed. Eren then leaned forwards, and kissed at Armin’s neck.

All of this Eren had wanted to do to Armin, but had never  known how until recently. The fact that sex with males was possible had been a revelation for both of them. Neither of them quite understood how something so wrong could feel so right, but they didn’t let their fun be dampered by the thought.

A soft gasp left Armin’s lips as Eren began to suck on one of the hickeys. “Wh-what are you doing?” Armin asked curiously, feeling a mix of pain, and excitement that he had never felt before.

“You told me to erase their touches. I’m going to make the hickey’s mine.” Eren responded, and sucked on another hickey. Armin felt his breath catch in his throat. He had not realized that Eren could be so sweet, and romantic. He bit his bottom lip as Eren found, and dominated every hickey that he could reach. Eren pushed a second finger into Armin, and made gentle scissoring motions to properly stretch him out.

“Do it. All of it.” Armin goaded, wanting to belong to Eren, and Eren only. He didn’t want to remember Igor’s vile touches, nor any of the other men. Eren seemed to understand this too, because he gently sucked on each of Armin’s sensitive nipples, and massaged his insides gently, in a way the men never had.

Eren gripped Armin’s hips, and thrust himself into his delicate best friend. Armin tensed involuntarily, and curled his hands into fists. His whimper made Eren stop. “Don’t stop.” Armin told Eren, who reluctantly obeyed by pushing his cock the rest of the way into Armin. He waited then, and planted hot kisses on Armin’s mouth, to let his body accommodate the foreign flesh.

“Mm…the cold water feels so wonderful…” Armin moaned airily, thrilled he was not experiencing that awful dry burn that had been present for days. Eren had pushed cold water into his body, and it had a rejuvenating effect on the blonde’s abused anus. Or maybe it was a cold, numbing effect. Armin wasn’t sure which, but he didn’t care, either.

“Well…if you change your mind, it’s never too late to tell me to stop.” Eren coaxed Armin, and slowly began to pump his cock in, and out of Armin’s tight hole. The water swished around them, and as Eren began to thrust faster, the water was displaced on to the creek’s bank. Armin tilted his head back, and reveled in knowledge that Eren was making him his, and was showing him that sex didn’t have to be a terrible experience.

 _It never had to hurt like that_. Armin realized, and felt bitter tears sting the corner of his eyes. Eren hadn’t hurt him once—the only pain Armin felt was from previous wounds, and a general aching soreness that made his anus throb, despite how gently it was being treated now. Armin panted, and let the chilled tears slide down his flushed face. _It’s not fair_.  He thought childishly, recalling how much those men had hurt him, just because they could.

“Does it hurt?” Eren asked, pausing abruptly in his thrusts. He noticed Armin’s tears, and wondered if this was a bad idea. Armin shook his head, and leaned forwards to kiss Eren, to alleviate his concerns. Eren was so sweet—he was concerned he hurt him. Armin felt flattered, and guilty for letting his negative thoughts bring tears to his eyes. Eren accepted the kiss as an answer, and continued to make love to Armin. He ejaculated a few minutes later, and deigned to just sit there with Armin, while they regained their breaths, and their senses.

“Thank you,” Was the first thing Armin said when he could breathe properly again, and calm his racing heart. Eren smiled, and kissed Armin again. “Mm. Can you move? I’m kind of cold.” Armin mentioned sheepishly, and nervously scratched at his cheek.

“Oh, right.” Eren simpered, and pulled out of Armin. He clambered up on to the creek bank, and helped Armin up. “Hey. I was thinking. There is a way you can convince them not to rape you.” Eren started, and once Armin perked up with attentive interest, Eren continued, “It’s something I learned recently. I’ll show it to you, and you can do it to them. It’s better then getting a cock shoved up your butt, anyways.”

“Okay. Show me.” Armin accepted, and let Eren push his knees apart, to expose his untouched penis. Eren curled his fingers around Armin’s penis and lifted it up. Armin nervously watched Eren, who ducked his head down. Armin fucking squealed, and jolted as Eren’s warm lips wrapped themselves around the head of his cock. “What are you doing!? I—I _pee_ out of there!”

A light-hearted chuckle erupted from Eren’s throat as he pulled away, just slightly. “Might I remind you what comes out of your butt?” Eren pointed out, which made Armin clamp his lips shut. A dark blush spread across Armin’s face as he thought about how right Eren was. “Relax. I swear I know what I am doing, and I’ll treat you right.” Eren coaxed, and when he saw Armin’s shoulders relax, he knew Armin was relenting.

With no further ado, Eren sucked on the head of Armin’s cock, and caused familiar electric tingles to jolt up Armin’s spine. Armin had felt something similar when he touched himself, but what Eren’s wet mouth was doing to his penis was on a whole other level. Eren swirled his tongue over the tip, and mercilessly teased the slit. Armin swore he saw stars for a moment. He had never felt something so good before.

And as Eren continued to suck Armin off, the pleasant tightness in Armin’s stomach only heightened, and made him moan. Eren’s tongue dragged along Armin’s hardened erection, and resumed bobbing his head. Armin entangled his hands in Eren’s hair and moaned prettily as the pleasure spiked through his body. He curled his toes as the ecstasy became too much for him, and he ejaculated into Eren’s mouth. Eren pulled away and spit the sperm out of his mouth.

“How’d that feel, Armin?” Eren wondered as he dragged the back of his hand against his mouth. Armin had his head back, and was trembling from the force of the orgasm. He panted, and moaned as the euphoria tingled every nerve he had.

“Good. But…I’m sleepy…and I don’t want to go back yet.” Armin said, and laid down on the cool grass. Eren smiled a little, and brushed Armin’s wet hair out of his face, before he lowered himself on to the ground. Armin snuggled up against Eren, wanting to leech his warmth. Eren draped an arm over Armin’s sensual curve, and rested his hand on the small of Armin’s back.

“Then nap. I’ll watch over you, I promise.” Eren swore, and happily stroked Armin’s clean hair. Armin settled against Eren, and let sleep take over his body. Eren thought about Mikasa, and wondered how he would explain any of this to her.

What if she was mad, or hurt, or jealous? Eren did not want to upset Mikasa, but he also wasn’t about to lie to her, especially because now more than ever they needed to be honest with each other if they were going to get through this hell they were all living in. Eren kissed Armin’s forehead, and held him close, to keep him warm while they dried off under the fading sun.

When night blanketed the lands, Eren gently shook Armin awake, and they reluctantly parted ways, collecting their clothes and tugging them on as they went. Armin felt as if he had actually had a moment of sleep, and felt better, until he saw his house that had become a prison.

It was then that the reality of the situation occurred to Armin. As far as Boris or Igor knew, Armin had ran away and was hiding from them, none of which was untrue. Armin shirked his duties—whatever Boris had had in mind for him, and that meant Boris was probably mad at him. Mad enough to let Igor have his way with him.

Would Igor fuck Armin senseless on the couch again, or would he shove him against the wall and sodomize him in the hallway like he did the other night? Armin gulped, and began to tremble as he headed straight for his fate. Armin pushed the door open, and hesitantly stepped inside, attempting to be as quiet as he could.

But this was an old creaky house, and Boris and Igor were trained soldiers who could hear a twig snap from outside. Armin shut the door behind him, and jolted when the noise of a kitchen chair scraping against wood sounded. Boris rounded the corner, and stormed over to Armin who shrieked and tried to back up, but he bumped into the coat hander and fell down with it.

“Where he hell have you been!?” Boris’s voice boomed throughout the house, and shocked every nerve in Armin’s body white. Armin scrambled back, and yipped when his shirt got caught on the coat hanger. He ripped the shirt without a second thought, and cowered, pulling his legs against his chest.

“The crick! J-just the crick, I swear!” Armin shouted desperately, in defense. “I was bathing, a-and soaking…and then drying…” Armin mumbled hastily, and fearfully rubbed the back of his neck. _Please believe me_. Armin prayed urgently in his head, and begged Boris for mercy with his eyes. Boris scoffed, and grabbed a fistful of Armin’s hair. Armin yelped as he was yanked to his feet, and then let out another alarmed, pained shout as Boris punched him in his gut with his other hand. Armin tried to crumple, but was held aloft by his hair.

“You lying slut. Albert said he saw a brunette carry you off to the creek, as if you were some damn princess and he was a knight in shining armor.” Boris snapped, and began to drag a stumbling, gasping Armin into the kitchen.

“No…no…” Armin cried between breathless gasps for air. It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t like that at all. “W-we’re just f-friends…” Armin swore, but received a quick kick to the back of his leg. Armin yipped with pain. 

“Oh, I know what goes on between _just friends_. You let him fuck you, didn’t you? But any time Igor fucks you, you scream like a little bitch. Igor who I keep off of you, and yet you throw my kindness back in my face by whoring around with a boy—not even a village girl. Gay piece of shit.” Boris ranted angrily, and threw Armin against the counter.

 _He doesnt believe me. Why cant he just believe me?_   

“I didn’t—it wasn’t—just a bath, just a bath!” Armin sputtered frantically as fear maddened his mind as he realized Boris was going to rape him. He tried to push himself up from the counter, but Boris pressed his hand against Armin’s neck. Terror prickled Armin's nerves.

Tears burned in the corners of Armin’s eyes as he found his airway was compromised. All he could do was gasp weakly, as his face was blanketed in blue, while his eyes bulged with terror. Boris yanked Armin’s pants down, and while he couldn’t see any evidence of a recent sexual encounter, he was sure Armin was a slut, and rammed his cock into the defenseless hole. Armin mewled with agony, and wiggled his hips.

Each thrust was unforgiving, and forceful. Armin felt as if he was being punished. The weight on the back of his neck lessoned just enough for Armin to regain some breath, and color to his cheeks, but then the hand was heavy on his neck again.

“I’m sorry…!” Armin wailed, as the dry burn returned with a insufferable vengeance. His insides were being split apart again, and ignited with that awful burning sensation, brought about by dry friction.

“Fucking slut, you do feel looser than earlier. Did he have a big cock? Did you swallow him whole too like the gay fuck you are?” Boris bashed Armin verbally, and shoved his cock into Armin’s anus, with the intent to hurt him. Armin writhed, and sobbed underneath him. He didn’t dare comment, even as he was berated, half-choked, and fucked up his ass mercilessly.

When Boris was done with Armin, he let the little blonde crumple to the ground, curl up, cower, and sob. Boris wordlessly left the house, and when he returned twenty minutes later, Igor was accompanying him. Armin heard them talking in Russian, and curled up tighter. He knew Igor was going to rape him too. There was no universe where that wouldn’t happen.

“My pretty has returned!” Igor’s distinct voice sent apprehensive shudders down Armin’s spine. He felt a hand grab his arm, and instinctively jerked away. Igor grabbed Armin again, and forcibly pushed him on to the table. Armin knew this would happen. He was still left feeling scared, and worried for his body. 

“Not again…” Armin whined to himself as he was penetrated by another cock. He was sodomized on the table. Every harsh thrust slammed his already bruised stomach against the edge of the table. Armin briefly thought of Eren, and how his best friend hadn’t hurt him.

Why did these men have to hurt him?

Armin didn’t know, but as he was left used, and abused in the kitchen, bleeding and bruised, he knew that waiting around for a savior was a fool’s wish. If Armin wanted something in his life to change, he needed to save himself.

The only question was how?


	5. Romance Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin comes up with a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armin is desperate for relief, and change. He comes up with a plan that just might work. Now that said, we're going to see how clever Armin is, and we'll see how he endures despite everything he has been through. Some people might think Armin is too emotional, but in case anyone forgot, in this fictional story, he was raped. Rape is traumatic, and those who have endured it respond differently to the aftermath. Some people become angry or guarded while others become emotional or touch-happy. Or all of those things at once. 
> 
> I think this is the first rape-free chapter too, since things are starting to change. Also, we'll get to see Erwin and Levi finally, and what they're up to. 
> 
> I'd like to point out that this fanfiction is not politically charged. It does contain some history, and I have played on some real events, and fears that people have to create a realistic war fiction setting.

War on Titan

Chapter 5: Romance Potato

_How can I make them stop hurting me, without getting myself killed_? Armin wondered, as he tenderly dabbed a cloth against his sore hole, to clean it. He was squatting in the privacy of his bedroom, and tried not to think about how Boris had overtaken his grandfather’s bedroom. He instead focused on creating a plan to spare his little, inflamed hole from more sexual abuse.

Waiting around for the Bundeswehr was not an option, since most people had forgotten about this little town. The only reason the dark skinned foreign men wielding swords had found the town years ago was the same reason the Russians had stumbled across it—chance. No one ever came here deliberately. The Bundeswehr could not be counted on for that same reason. If they happened across the town and pushed the Russians out, that would be a happenstance miracle.

None of the remaining villagers owned guns. Mr. Arlert had been the only man that had hoarded guns in secret, and while that had been enough to push out the first foreign invaders who had wielded swords, the Russians wielded guns of their own. A few unskilled villagers with a limited number of guns had not been enough to defend their town from an army of talented army marksmen.

Knives were the best weapons the villagers had at their disposal, next to blunt objects. Neither of those weapons could compare with a gun, though. As far as the weapons department was concerned, Armin knew violence was out of the question. Armin briefly thought of suffocating Igor with a pillow, but he abandoned that thought quickly, since Igor was likely to wake up, flip them over, hit him, and shove his cock up his ass. It was a bad plan that would only end in rape.

Armies and proper weapons were not available to Armin. Pleading, crying, bleeding and obeying was getting him no where either. Igor was only turned on by Armin’s human behavior, while Boris simply didn’t care because he used sex as a weapon with which to punish Armin. Armin rubbed his face, and wracked his brain for another solution.

There had to be a way to make this nightmare end.

Armin stood up, and peered out into the hallway, glancing left and right. Tentatively, Armin tip-toed into his grandfather’s room, and scoured the bookcase in search for a book on plants. If he could just find a plant that could numb the burning sensation in his anus, he would be able to endure the rough sex that Igor always seemed to have planned for him. He spotted the green cover, and pulled it out of its spot between other books.

As soon as Armin had the book in his possession, he hurried back to his room, and sat in the corner to make it not obvious that he was there. Armin propped his legs up, and rested the book on them. He then began to thumb through the pages, scanning the pages for a medicinal plant. Armin stopped upon the drawn, colored image of a plant that resembled a sunflower. He squinted at tiny writing consistent with his grandfather’s writing. The words were not part of the book—they had been jotted down separately.

_Arnica Montana, from the mountains. Some people use it as a medicinal flower, while others use it as a potent poison_. Armin eyes widened as a plan formed in his head. _That’s it_! Armin closed the book, and shoved the book under his bed to hide it. He then quietly shut the door, and went to the dresser, where he pulled out a fresh outfit to change into. Armin headed to the window, and sucked in a breath of courage.

For as long as Armin could remember, he was terrified of the dark because of the monsters that could lurk within it, and see him. Wolves were a constant threat, and once a bear had wandered down from the mountain. Armin pushed those thoughts out of his head and pushed the window open. He winced, and briefly sucked on a wound on his hand that had been aggravated. Armin then climbed out of the window, into the advanced darkness.

The full moon was the only light Armin had to navigate by, on his way back to Eren’s. In the cover of night, Armin hoped he was hidden from potential prying eyes. He wrapped his arms around himself, to take the edge of the cool spring wind off of his arms, and to give him a false sense of comfort. The spring night air was still chilly, despite his long sleeves. Armin hurried through the dark town, jumping and freezing when a noise sounded in the night. He had never ventured outside alone like this at night before, but there was a first for everything, he figured.

By the grace of God, or chance, Armin arrived at Eren’s house, and sidled around the house to Eren’s bedroom window. He peered inside, pressing his face to the glass. Armin couldn’t see much in the room, but he hadn’t came this far to give up, so he pushed at the window. He was fucking amazed when the window actually opened.

There was no movement in the room, but Armin could make out a form under the blanket, on the bed. “Eren?” Armin quietly called, and climbed into the room. He slowly headed towards the bed. “Eren?” Armin questioned again, and carefully clambered on to the bed. The person stirred, and rolled over on to their back. “Mikasa!?” Armin gasped with surprise as the girl pushed herself up into a sitting position.

Mikasa smiled warmly with a greeting, and pulled Armin against her in a friendly hug. “Welcome home, Armin. Eren is servicing the soldiers. He’ll be back soon, though.” Mikasa greeted Eren’s best friend, and let kept him close to her because he was chilly, while she was warm. Armin smiled with relief and hugged Mikasa, glad to see her again, and found comfort in her familiar, fresh scent.

“Servicing?” Armin questioned, craning his head up to look at her. Mikasa looked away, and gritted her teeth. Armin sensed that she wasn’t going to divulge the information, so he let the topic go. “Are you okay? I haven’t really seen you in awhile.” Armin wondered, to broach a more important topic.

“Fine. We’re more worried about you. Did you think of a plan?” Mikasa responded, shifting the blanket around Armin’s shivering body. She noticed how much thinner Armin was since last week, and was concerned he wasn’t allowed to eat. Armin had already been too thin to begin with.

“Don’t be. I did manage to come up with a plan. That’s why I need Eren. We’re going to the mountains.” Armin told her, and pulled the blanket tighter around his body. He was cold, and couldn’t seem to become warm.

“Okay. I’ll stay here and cover for Eren, then.” Mikasa suggested, figuring that was how she could help her friends out. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to protect Eren, after all, and since Eren cared about Armin, she would protect him too, in what ways she could.

“Like you did for me, earlier? You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Armin inquired, recalling how she lured the soldier away so Eren could come to him.

“Yeah. I didn’t get hurt, though.” Mikasa answered, and looked to the door as it opened. Eren stepped inside, and paused upon seeing Armin.

“Hey, Eren. I have a plan. Take me to the mountains. We have to be back before sunrise.” Armin said, happy that Eren had joined them. If they left now, they might both return in time before anyone noticed they were missing.

“Let’s go then.” Eren decided without hesitation, because he had been waiting for Armin to have a plan, and now that he did have one, it was time to act. Eren wanted to help Armin, and now was the time. Armin shimmied out of the warmth of the blanket and clambered off of the bed. Mikasa noticed the slow, heavy way Armin moved. He must hurt. But that was why he had Eren.

“Be careful out there, you two.” Mikasa advised them, and watched Armin carefully climb out the window. Eren leaned over the bed and tried to kiss Mikasa, who turned her cheek to him. “I know where your mouth has been.” Mikasa muttered, not wanting to be kissed so soon after Eren serviced the perverted soldier that lorded over them. Eren pulled away.

“I rinsed my mouth out. I swear.” Eren swore, with a shrug of his shoulders.

Mikasa didn’t budge, so Eren bid her farewell and followed after Armin and climbed out the window. He shut the window behind him, and turned his attention to Armin, who was already shivering from the brisk air. “Do you want me to carry you on my back?” Eren offered, since he could see the pain in his best friends eyes.

Once, Armin would have refused Eren’s offer. Now, his stubborn pride would have to take a hit because Armin knew he needed Eren’s help. “Yeah.” Armin answered, and climbed on to Eren’s back. He wrapped his legs around Eren’s waist, and winced, feeling his cheeks spread as a result. There was nothing to be done for that, though and he knew it, so he didn’t bother voicing the pain.

“You look really upset, and shaken up. Did something happen to you when you returned home?” Eren asked with worry, sensing another significant difference in Armin’s presence. Armin looped his arms around Eren’s neck, and rested his chin on Eren’s shoulder.

“Boris was really angry with me. He yelled at me, and used words I don’t know.” Armin responded, thinking about how frightened he had been when had Boris physically assaulted him. He tightened his arms around Eren, as the dark memory of being unable to breathe smacked him in the face.

“What words?” Eren wondered, out of a mere curiosity, since he didn’t think he would be able to define the words if Armin couldn’t. He moved quickly through the night, wanting to take them out of the village, and get them to the mountains.

“Uh…gay, was one…slut was another, as was whore. All I know is that his tone was derogatory.” Armin recalled, and nervously picked at his battered fingers. He wondered if there was a fresh bruise on his neck. With the way his stomach ached, he was sure it was bruised as well, from being jammed against the counter, and table’s edge.

“None of that sounds pleasant. But something worse happened, didn’t it?” Eren guessed, because he knew Armin had been called names before, and hadn’t ever looked this messed up from it before. Something else had happened.

A soft, heavy sigh slipped past Armin’s lips. “Yeah. Boris raped me this time, which as unsettling as that felt, it was nothing compared to the way he choked me while he did it. I couldn’t breathe, and that was more terrifying then anything. I can’t get it out of my head, either.” Armin explained uneasily, and felt hot tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

He had not had a chance to think about the life-threatening incident until now. The horror of it was dawning on him. Armin blinked the tears away, and forced the thoughts out of his head, because he didn’t have the luxury to break down about the inhumane way he was treated.

“Wait. He choked you!?” Eren exclaimed in horror, and then clamped his mouth shut, realizing he was being too loud. He walked quicker through the village, and kept off the main dirt road.

“I can’t—I can’t talk about it anymore. Let’s just focus on our mission.” Armin pleaded, raw and emotional. If Eren didn’t let this topic go, Armin knew he wouldn’t be able to keep the tears away. Eren seemed to understand this too, because he grit his teeth, and put anger into his steps.

There was nothing Eren wanted to do more than murder the soldiers that hurt Armin. They had had no right to touch Armin to begin with, but they went a step further and hurt him. Choked him. Eren felt his own blood boil with rage at his own powerlessness to help his best friend. Who he had had sex with that afternoon. That was another discussion that would have to wait.

Since Armin could not handle talking about the abuse he suffered, he focused on their surroundings—the moon in the sky, the houses they passed, and the fields. Eren raged quietly, fed up with everyone he knew being hurt, and abused, and being unable to protect any of them.

Taking Armin to the mountains was something Eren could do, so despite the fact that he had been ready for bed, he jumped on the chance to help one of Armin’s plans come to fruition. Armin was clever. Emotional, and delicate, but smart. Eren trusted him.

“So what are we looking for?” Eren questioned, as they arrived on the mountain. Armin gingerly lowered himself, and groaned involuntarily as his stiff body reminded him that he needed pain relief. Eren’s body that normally burned hot had been a temporary relief.

“Sunflowers, basically.” Armin responded,  as he wrapped his arms around himself, and began searching for yellow flowers. He had no idea if the flowers he wanted would grow here, but if he just managed to find a few mushrooms, Armin would settle for those and hope they were poisonous.

“I don’t think flowers will solve our problems.” Eren mentioned, but began to look for yellow flowers.

“We’re looking for poison, Eren.” Armin muttered snippily, following along with the natural mountain trail. Eren didn’t take the snap personally, since he knew Armin was suffering. Pain often made people lash out. Eren understood that, and continued to hunt for the flowers, but made a point to stay near Armin to watch over him.

“Oh. That makes sense.” Eren commented, and marveled at Armin for a moment. Poison. That was a brilliant plan.

“Ugh, it’d be so much easier to find the flowers if we had some damn light.” Armin griped angrily, translating pain into anger. It was an emotional, involuntary response. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and began to doubt his plan. Armin just wanted cry.

“Wait. Don’t cry. I have an idea.” Eren assured Armin, as he cupped his friends pale cheeks against his hands. “Just wait.” Eren coaxed Armin, who was emotionally pent up, and ready to explode. His psyche needed a proper break down, but he couldn’t do that yet.

“You have an idea?” Armin gasped, shocked that Eren had a idea. He then blushed with shame, realizing how rude that must have sounded. Eren just smiled reassuringly and sought out two sticks that he began to rub together.

The dry friction ignited a fire to spark between the sticks. Armin frowned, because the irony was not lost on him. Eren grinned, and held a burning torch out to Armin. Armin hesitated.

“A fire? That’s not a good idea. Anyone from the village could see that!” Armin complained, feeling incredibly frustrated at Eren’s lack of foresight.

“We need light, you said it yourself. And this will keep wolves away.” Eren pointed out, and again offered the torch to Armin. Armin groaned loudly, and swiped the torch. Eren just didn’t tend to think things through all the way. And yet, when Armin felt the heat radiating off of the fire, some of his anger dissipated. Or maybe it was Eren’s calm voice that soothed Armin.

Their hunt for the flowers resumed, long into the night. Armin was becoming more frantic, and frustrated as the hours passed by. He was so engrossed in finding the flowers, and bothered by his own pain that he never noticed they were being watched. Eren didn’t notice either, because he kept trying to calm Armin down, and reassure him that they would return home before the sun rose.

“We’re not going to find them.” Armin worried, stressing out that this entire endeavor had been for nothing. Instead of searching for a poisonous flower, Armin could have been sleeping—something he desperately needed. Part of his wild emotions was caused by lack of sleep.

“Don’t say that. We’ll find them.” Eren promised, as he watched Armin pace in the darkness. The light on their torches had went out, and now they were dark—it was no wonder to Eren that Armin was flipping out again. He had been coming undone all night, no matter how hard he had tried to be fine enough to just find the flowers, and get home.

“We’ve been searching for hours. They aren’t here. I could have been sleeping!” Armin fumed, angry with himself for concocting a hairbrained idea. There must be a easier to find poison. One he didn’t have to search so hard for.

Neither of them wanted to go deeper into the mountains then they already were, because distance mattered. If they traveled too far, they wouldn’t be able to return home in time. And if they didn’t return home in time…Armin set a hand over his neck, and just wanted to scream. It was the way he normally vented his frustration, but the only screaming he had been doing recently had been done in terror, not anger. It didn’t really count.

“Let me see your neck.” Eren instructed, as he stepped around Armin, who was fretting. His little outbursts were a prelude to something larger. Eren was just amazed Armin could regain control of himself at all. He knew how sensitive, and delicate, yet prideful Armin was.

Violence had always scared Armin, and what he went through throughout the day shook him to his core. Eren wanted to tell Armin that it was okay to cry, and scream. That was his job as a best friend. But if they couldn’t find the flowers, and went home empty handed, Eren knew Armin would feel even worse.

Right now, Eren just needed Armin to calm down enough to refocus on the mission. Armin sucked in a breath, and swept his hair off of the back of his neck, to reveal the heavy, dark bruising. Eren lightly set his hands on Armin’s shoulders, and gently pressed his lips against the bruise. Armin winced at the soft touch, out of reflex.

“We’re going to find those flowers, and when we do, they’ll never hurt you again.” Eren affirmed, as looped his arms around Armin’s tiny waist, and pulled him against him. Armin shivered, and leaned back against Eren, who always seemed to be warm.

“I can’t be touched like _that_ again. It was so terrifying. I thought he was going to kill me.” Armin confessed quietly, his voice was raw, and emotional. He needed Eren’s reassurances, just to be okay. Eren soothingly kissed the side of Armin’s neck, and held him close. Armin took in a few breaths to steady himself, feeling a brief calmness whenever Eren was near, and holding him. Eren nuzzled Armin’s cheek.

“That is why we’re going to find the flowers. Just sit back for a minute, and let me search.” Eren assured him, and pulled away. Armin carefully sat down on a rock, and rubbed at his face, focusing on calming his frazzled nerves. Eren poked around the mountain for a little while longer, never venturing far away from Armin.

Even as the minutes ticked by, Eren remained positive that the flowers would be found. Maybe it was his optimism, or his indomitable spirit, but under the light of the moon, he found a small patch of yellow flowers. Eren looked over his shoulder, in Armin’s direction.

“Found yellows.” Eren called, and watched Armin perk up. Armin pushed himself up, and awkwardly wandered over to Eren with a newfound hope and curiosity shining in his eyes.

On the ground, in the dirt, was a patch of yellow flowers. Armin’s eyes lit up, and a small, tired smile pulled at the corners of his lips. “I think these are them.” Armin enthused with relief as he turned to Eren, and leaned up to kiss him. Eren smiled and returned the kiss, simply happy he could be of use to Armin. Armin then knelt down, and began to dig them out of the ground. Eren set a hand on Armin’s arm. Armin turned his head up to look at him with curious eyes.

“Wait. Let me do it.” Eren offered, because while his own hands were blistered from farm work, his hands were still in much better shape then Armin’s palms were. Armin sidled out of the way, and was content to let Eren take over the digging. He unconsciously wiped his bleeding hand against his shirt, and instantly regretted it when his palm stung in response from the rough fabric. Armin tugged on the shirt and frowned at the blood stain. He hadn’t been able to properly wash blood out of fabric, and this had been his last bloodless shirt.

“Ugh.” Armin groaned irritably, and rested his hands against his pants. He then focused on Eren, and was mildly surprised that Eren was able to pull the flowers out, root and all. Armin wanted to use every part of the plant in the hopes of…of what? Murdering? Armin pushed the unnerving thought out of his head.

“Here. Why don’t you hold on to them and I’ll carry you home?” Eren suggested, holding the bunch of yellow flowers. Armin slowly, stiffly stood up and took the flowers from Eren, then limped around him. Eren crouched low, and let Armin climb on to his back. Armin pressed the flowers between his chest, and Eren’s back, so he wouldn’t drop them if he nodded off, which he desperately wanted to do. Eren headed down the mountain, with Armin, and the flowers that would change the tide of their war.

. . .

Two lone men wandered around the mountains under the cover of night. They were men of the Rebellion Bundeswehr, which consisted of men, and women who wanted to restore Germany to its former glory. A Germany where Muslims did not have more rights than the German citizens. A Germany where Muslims did not eradicate entire rural villages. A Germany where cops could protect the people from Muslims. The women, and children needed to be protected, and since Germany couldn’t have a legal army—how asinine—brave citizens created, and organized a secret army. A vigilante Bundeswehr.

The leader of the Rebellion Bundeswehr was a tall, blonde, blue-eyed German of ancient lineage. Erwin Smith was as German as Germans came, and was done watching Germany be destroyed from the inside out by foreign, and domestic enemies. He created the Rebellion Bundeswehr to rescue Germany, but unlike Hitler, he was reading Aristotle and not Nietzsche. And despite the many barbaric transgressions the Muslims had committed against his fellow Germans, he didn’t want to round them up into camps and exterminate them. Erwin just wanted them to get the fuck out of his country.

They had their chance to show their intentions, and when Erwin’s fiancé, Marie, was raped, and later stoned to death, Erwin had had enough. The German police had put their hands in the air and had explained that they were legitimately not allowed to persecute Muslims because that would be an act of racism. Marie had went public about the rape, and then was taken to a Muslim court, where, because she did not have four Muslim men as witnesses, she was ruled to be a liar, and a slanderer. The sentence had been death.

On German soil. As if they were all in the fucking dark ages. Erwin had been powerless to help her then. Now, the fight was more personal then ever. If Muslims wanted to abuse women, and rape their children and goats, they could do it on their own land. Erwin wouldn’t interfere with that, because every culture had a right to thrive in its own environment, but not when it imposed on innocents. Marie had been innocent. Most Germans had been innocent. Spaniards had been innocent. The hurt had to stop somewhere, and Erwin planned to be the one to herald in a new era in Germany.

There was only one cinch in Erwin’s plan. The last battle the Rebellion Bundeswehr had been bloody, and chaotic. Erwin, and his right hand man, Levi Ackerman had gotten separated from the rest of the army. That was two days ago. Worse, their stomachs were as empty as their guns. They needed food, bullets and rest. If all of that could happen, they could reunite with the Rebellion Bundeswehr.

Until then, they would head through the mountains, to stay out of sight of the enemy. Their mountain trek was arduous, and tiring. Wolves howled in the distance, which kept the duo alert, and aware of their surroundings. Levi surveyed their surroundings, keeping watch for unexpected movement. He stopped and crouched, grabbing Erwin’s arm and tugging him down with him. Erwin followed Levi’s eyes to a pair of young teenagers ascending the mountain trail.

A scrawny, tired brunette was carrying a messy-haired blonde kid on his back. The teenager stopped and crouched near the ground, to let the blonde down. Erwin and Levi watched from on high as the blonde teenager stepped around his friend, and wrapped his arms around himself to stave off the brisk air. He began to look at the ground, as if he was searching for something.

“Look at their clothes. They’re German, and from a local village.” Erwin pointed out, able to determine all of that in an instant. The children were allies, and if their village had not been taken over by Muslims or Russians, or hell, Americans or whoever the fuck else, Erwin and Levi could recuperate there.

“I don’t care about that. See the way that bony kid is limping? He’s been fucked up his ass by someone.” Levi mentioned, shamelessly pointing at the blonde, who was busying himself with searching for something the adults couldn’t begin to guess at.

“Well, incest does run rampant in small, forgotten villages.” Erwin recalled grimly, resting his knuckles against his chin. He now focused his attention on the tiny, shivering blonde boy whose movements were stiff, and slow, consistent with pain. Levi was probably right. He had grown up in the Underground, where crime was rampant, and normal. Out of anyone, Levi could spot abuse.

“Could be a family friend, or the local pig farmer.” Levi countered casually, resting his arms on his knees. The tiny, short blonde became rather animated, his body tensing with anger as a hand swiped through his hair. Levi watched that tall, gangly brunette kid step in front of the blonde and place his hands on his cheeks. The touch was extremely intimate, even from where Levi and Erwin were sitting.

Neither of them were close enough to hear what the kids said to each other, but it was clear that the brown-haired boy was able to smooth the blonde’s frayed nerves, and even make him blush. “How gay are they?” Levi scoffed, with a shake of his head.

“Hmm. I was not aware rural, backwater boys fell in love. It is a intriguing find.” Erwin mused with interest, and like Levi, he began paying attention to what both boys said with their bodies. The copper-skinned boy was rubbing sticks together now, and procured two lit torches.  

To the ivory-skinned boy’s credit, he seemed to realize what a stupid thing lighting a torch was at night when the light could attract anyone, or any animal right to them, because he started to yell at his friend. His angry voice echoed slightly through the immediate area, but not concisely to Erwin, nor Levi. The brunette once again was able to soothe, and calm his friend. They understood each other on a deep, and personal level, that was obvious. It was also too obvious by the way the brunette kept glancing at the blonde, every time he paused or winced, that he was extremely concerned about him.

And from what Levi understood about injuries and abuse, the brunette should be damn worried like he was. “He shouldn’t be out in this whether. The brat should be in bed, resting.” Levi judged verbally, to his Commander, who nodded with agreement. The blonde seemed to know that too because as the night went on, he had a few moments of uncertainty, and glancing back the way they came. Each time the blonde faltered, the brunette was right at his side, touching him, and or talking to him.

“How long are we going to follow, and watch them?” Levi wondered, after awhile of Erwin dragging him along to spy on some clueless village kids.

“We are going to follow them to their village, and scout it out. If their village is German, we’ll be able to obtain food, at the very least.” Erwin informed Levi, who hadn’t thought ahead like he had. Levi was smart and quick in a lot of ways, but he was distracted by keeping watch over their surroundings, and observing the teenagers.

“Wait, what the fuck are they doing now?” Levi wondered, as the frustrated blonde set a hand on the back of his neck. His brunette friend set his hands on his shoulders, and to Erwin and Levi’s surprise, pressed his face against his neck.

While the other touches had been suspiciously gay, and intimate, Erwin and Levi’s suspicions were confirmed. The little ones were gay. Well, the brunette definitely was gay. Which made Levi wonder if he was wrong about his earlier assessment. Was the blonde not being sexually abused? Was the limp caused by horny, clueless teenagers having rough sex? It seemed a bit of a stretch, but Levi supposed anything was possible in a rural town where knowledge was limited.

Below them, the dominant boy looped his arms around the blonde’s alarmingly tiny waist, and pulled him close. The blonde leaned back against him, nestling against him, while he kissed at the side of his pale neck. There was a moment where the onlookers thought the boys were going to kiss. They did not. They pulled away from each other and went their separate ways. The troubled blonde sat on a rock and rubbed at his face while the brunette continued to hunt for something.

“Caring for each other intimately, I suppose. I haven’t seen such raw affection like that in years. Maybe we could learn something from them.” Erwin hinted to Levi, who rolled his shoulders nonchalantly, obviously pretending to not have heard him.

Within minutes, the brunette called the blonde over, and waved him over. Levi and Erwin peered over the edge of their perch, and in the dim moonlight they could faintly make out yellow flowers.

“God, they’re so painfully gay.” Levi groaned, exasperated and embarrassed for them. At least when he let Erwin fuck him, they weren’t obvious about it. “Flowers. They’re hunting for fucking flowers.” Levi muttered and shook his head back and forth. Erwin withheld judgement, and continued to quietly observe the unique pair of boys who actually began to kiss each other, which affirmed Levi’s comments.

Once the brief kiss was over, that little blonde crouched down, and began to dig the flowers out of the ground, despite the obvious strain it put on him. Erwin knew then that the boys were not after flowers, they were after the root of the flower, either for medicinal purposes, or poison. Erwin assumed medicine, since the blonde looked like he could use some.

Unsurprisingly at this point, the brunette set a hand on the blonde’s arm, and some exchange was made between them to where the dominant boy took over the task of digging. The two were a team unlike anyone Erwin had seen in awhile. He had a special bond with Levi, but the two brats seemed to be closer to each other on a way more personal, intimate level. Erwin looked to Levi, and wondered if he would ever open up to him the way the kids did with each other.

_Hell. Am I jealous_? Erwin realized, surprised at the jealousy he felt when the two boys displayed such open affection for the other. The brunette crouched down, and then the blonde climbed on to his back. They were leaving. That was their cue. Erwin stood up and gestured for Levi to follow him.

“Let’s see where they go, and when this war is over, we’re going to have to talk about your intimacy issues.” Erwin told Levi, and scanned the immediate area for a quick way down. Levi stood up and followed Erwin, and watched him warily.

“You know that’s not what I signed up for. We fuck, but I don’t know about any of that gay shit those brats were doing.” Levi protested, having no real interest in being vulnerable, nor affectionate. Erwin rolled his eyes, and climbed down to the mountain clearing the boys had spent a considerable amount of time in.

“It’s not gay. It’s love.” Erwin countered, because love didn’t need labels. Levi wasn’t comfortable with his sexual preferences, and while Erwin respected that, he still hoped Levi would accept himself, and their relationship.

But, this was a battle best fought another day, and Erwin knew that, so he did not add fuel to the fire when Levi just scoffed. Personally, Erwin thought those boys were precious, and that their sweet actions should be emulated and copied.

“There. They are heading to a village.” Levi pointed out, gesturing with his finger. Erwin paused, and narrowed his eyes at the village. He then surveyed the limestone ridges around them, and felt a sense of familiarity. He remembered this place.

“I’ve been there before.” Erwin stated, recalling this entire area. He had visited this village fourteen years ago . Erwin thought of the little, blonde-blue eyed kid from the mountains and frowned, thinking he looked a lot like him. “Say, how old do you think that blonde kid was, with the funny eyebrows?” Erwin inquired, a bit unnerved.

“Twelve?” Levi answered uncertainly, walking alongside Erwin. They were keeping their distance from the boys, to not be discovered. “Why?” Levi then asked, turning to look at Erwin inquisitively. Erwin shook his head left, and then right.

“No reason.” Erwin muttered, brushing his concerns aside and laughed at his own ridiculousness.

That boy was way too young to be a bastard son of his.


	6. Poison Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin hopes his plan will work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that the abuse is not over, and that carrots were never, ever intended to be used in this way and that I am so absolutely, unequivocally sorry, and I feel so bad for writing what I wrote. If you can read through it, there might be light at the end of the tunnel one day.

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 6: Poison Potato**

Grinding, and mashing the flowers was the easy part. Then came the hard part. Armin quietly scoured the dark kitchen to gain an idea as to where to sprinkle the powdered flowers on to. It would be easier if there was a ready-made male that just needed to be heated up, like the ones Mrs. Schmidt used to bring over on Sunday’s. There was nothing like that available, though. The soldiers had been eating everything, and had cooked very little.

Cooking was the only chore Armin still weaseled out of doing. For obvious reasons, like the one in Armin’s hand now, the soldiers had kept him away from the food and had definitely not allowed him to even try to cook. A smart move, really. Armin needed something he could poison, and since food was not a viable option, he was at a loss of what to do until he remembered the soldiers liked their beer.

With that thought in mind, Armin snuck into the living room, and plucked the beer bottle off of the table. Igor slept on the couch, and for a moment, Armin debated on the pro’s and con’s of bashing his head in with the bottle. The thought was extremely appealing, but Armin knew that act of violence would make him no better than Igor, so he trudged back to the kitchen, frowning with disappointment.

Then again, poisoning someone was often a slow, painful way for them to die. Armin knew if he went through with this, he wouldn’t be innocent anymore, nor would he be a victim. He’d be a killer. Armin swallowed hard at that thought. Was taking someone’s life a legitimate punishment for them being a rapist? Armin hated the second thoughts he was having.

Death was permanent. Was it a justifiable sentence? All because Armin didn’t want Igor’s cock to be shoved up his ass? Armin worried then that he was being selfish, and or petty. Did Igor really deserve to die? Moreover, what would his grandfather, or mother think of him if he went through this? Would they be disappointed if they ever found out?

Morally murder was wrong. Religiously, murder was a sin. Legally, murder was a crime.

_Can’t I Just endure the sex_? Armin wondered briefly, and tried to downplay the horrific sexual assault in his mind _. It’s just sex. Just sex. The penis goes in, and out of my hole a few times, and then it’s over. It hurts, but I’m okay. It’s just a bit of blood. I shouldn’t be such a baby about it_. Armin tried coaxing himself, as his hand shook, and hovered over the open, glass beer bottle.

Just sex. That’s what Armin rationalized over, and over again in his head, in a attempt to be okay with having his hole repeatedly split open, just because he was scared of what killing Igor would mean. What if Eren looked at him different? Or Mikasa? The fear, and questions were real. Armin almost did not want to go through with his own plan.

Then Armin recalled the sheer agony each rape had put him through. Pain. Fear. Powerlessness. Worthlessness. Anger. Humiliation. The injustice. They had laughed at him when he told them to stop. They mocked him when he cried. And when he had bled, they fucked him harder up his ass, with no remorse. Armin had seen how male village dogs went at female dogs when they were in heat, humping her. Armin felt sick at the realistic analogy, because although he had been treated like the female dog in heat, he hadn’t actually been in heat. Armin doubted that was even possible.

But they had ass-raped him as if he was a cock-slut.  They, because, the rapes were starting to blur together. Who had touched him and when, Armin wasn’t sure he even remembered. Igor had consistently, repeatedly raped him. Boris raped him last night, and nearly choked him to death. That’s about all Armin knew. He felt his fear evaporate into anger. Boris had had no right to hurt him like that. Armin hadn’t done anything wrong. All he had done was visit a friend, and, okay, yeah, they had sex.

What was so wrong with that? Armin didn’t understand why any of this was happening to him. He had always been a good boy, and had followed the rules without questions. The only thing he wanted in this world was to read books, and explore the world.

Yet, he kept getting hurt while people like Eren, who deliberately breaks rules gets to live a pretty peachy life with little, to no consequences.

It.was.not.fair.

Frustrated, and upset, Armin dropped the powdered flowers into the beer, and jammed the cap over it, while angry tears streamed down his face. He was done being nice. Armin stiffly stood up, and tip toed back into the living room. He set the bottle back on the table where he had found it, and headed to his bedroom. He shut the door quietly, and let himself collapse on to his bed.

There was no going back now.

Dawn

For better or worse, Armin was woken up to perform house work, eat a light, dull breakfast, and perform work in the fields. Since Igor tended to drink in the afternoon, Armin didn’t expect any immediate results. If Igor was successfully poisoned, Armin could have Eren take him back up to the mountain to fetch more flowers, to poison Boris.

Realistically, Armin was not sure how many soldiers he could poison before they caught on to him. Armin decided to worry about that another day. Today, Armin just wanted to see if the flowers truly were poisonous. If they were not, Igor would surely rape him tonight. Armin definitely did not want to think about that.

His little hole was sore, and throbbing. Armin wanted nothing more then to soak himself in the creek. Maybe he could even have Eren massage the abused anus with his cock like he did yesterday, in the water. Armin day-dreamed about that, because even if he partially blamed Eren for all of this, he still heavily relied on Eren and wanted his comfort.

Come dinner time, Igor was eating without showing signs of being poisoned. He had a new beer bottle, implying he drank the other one. Armin kept glancing at Igor warily, which wasn’t uncommon for him to do. He slowly, and distractedly crunched on the bland, raw carrots.

“What’s your problem?” Boris questioned, since Armin had been distracted since the moment he woke him up. Armin jolted out of his thoughts and coughed a bit with alarm. “You’ve been distracted all day. Are you thinking of that boy who fucked you?” Boris guessed, recalling how Armin had been spotted being carried by some cocky brunette kid. Armin shook his head wildly back and forth.

“N-no. I don’t f-feel well.” Armin answered, ducking his head down to avoid eye contact. He really hadn’t felt well ever since his parents were murdered, but the general unease in his body had been exacerbated ever since the soldiers came and had abused him. The fatigue in his joints only ever seemed to increase.

Today was no exception. Armin was exhausted, hungry, hurt, and nauseous. He felt weaker than usual, and could only hope that Igor would start displaying signs of poison soon, otherwise, he would have to suffer another rape. Armin really, really didn’t want that.

“That’s your own fault, running off to whore around with village boys. I don’t care who he is. You are not allowed to go anywhere without one of us putting you on a leash.” Boris informed the nervous blonde, and picked a fresh carrot up, and looked at it curiously. “Why don’t we play a game?” Boris suggested, teetering the carrot up and down in his hands.

Apprehension tickled Armin’s spine. “A g-game?” Armin repeated nervously, and eyed the carrot as his eyes filled with dread. Igor perked up, glancing with interest at the carrot, and then flitted his eyes to Armin, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Since you are a slut, we’ll see how many carrots we can shove into your loose ass.” Boris explained insidiously, and plucked another carrot up from the platter. Armin stared at him with uncertainty. Was he serious? “One…two…three, and four…now come here like a good slut.” Boris coaxed, holding the bunched carrots in one hand, and gesturing for Armin to come to him with his other hand.

“Yes!” Igor shouted happily, understanding the sexual innuendo and slammed his hands on the table, more than ready for this lewd act to happen.

All color drained from Armin’s face, as his heart crashed hard against his rib cage in a wild attempt to escape. He eyed the girth of the combined carrots and became maddened with fear, seeing the serious look in Boris’s eyes. “NO!” Armin exclaimed, and clambered out of the chair. In his haste, he tripped, and fell. His elbows hit the wooden floor with a hard thud that made him cry out, but had did not dissuade him from scrambling to his feet and bolted for the door in a panicked frenzy.

Then Armin felt a hand entangle itself into his hair and yank him back. Armin shouted with pain and stumbled backwards and flailed the entire time he was pulled into the living room. “Ow, ow, ow!” Armin repeatedly yelled, as he clawed at the hand pulling on his hair. He was thrown on to the couch. Armin felt his heart thud with alarm, and fear as he scrambled to sit up.

Boris sat down on the couch, and pulled a struggling Armin against him. “Come on. Don’t fight it. Holes were meant to be filled.” Boris assured Armin, and wrapped one sturdy arm around his tiny chest, pinning his flailing arms to his sides.

“No, no, no, no!” Armin protested frantically, twisting wildly against Boris in an desperate escape to flee. _Please, please, let the poison work_.  Armin pleaded in his head, as his pants were robbed from his thin hips. He kicked, and kicked, but Igor had good reflexes and managed to avoid the kicks long enough to strip Armin of his main defense, and then for Boris to wrap his other arm underneath Armin’s knees, and hoist them up.

In this way, Armin’s legs were more or less immobilized, and his puckered, ravaged butthole was on display. Igor crouched down, and rubbed the carrot over Armin’s quivering hole. “Oh God no.” Armin cried, as he wiggled desperately, while the pointy carrot teased and threatened his red, swollen hole.

They would do it. Armin knew they would. That fear had him struggling against them with whatever pitiful energy he had left in him. Hot tears gathered in the corners of his eyes and quickly splattered on to the couch and himself in time with the desperate shakes of his head. His face was flushed red and a nervous sweat had broken out on to his skin. "Stop, stop, _please,_ stop!" He was powerless. 

Igor flicked his tongue over his lips as he delighted in Armin’s panicked struggle, and then crammed the carrot into his quivering anus. Shock and pain reverberated up Armin’s spin and made light explode through out his vision, while his toes curled tightly. Armin swore he lost consciousness, because the next thing he knew, the carrot was being twisted inside of him, wrenching mangled screams out of his throat. Penis’s could be hard, and firm, but not like this. Armin had never felt anything worse than this before, and the slender carrot wasn’t even fat compared to a dick, but it still elicited ear-piercing wails from Armin’s throat.

Igor simply snickered, and was goaded on by Armin’s tortured cries, and began to push the carrot in, and out of his red, swollen hole. Armin blubbered loudly, stuttering unintelligibly while he sobbed hysterically, trapped, and powerless to protect himself. All he could do was let it happen. No amount of tensing, nor clenching pushed the carrot out of him. It was the worst pain he had ever experienced, and if his tender skin hadn't been rubbed raw before, it was now with each time the carrot was jammed into him. 

At first, the thrusts were fast, and forceful. Igor kept changing the angles of his thrusts, and would wiggle, and wedge the carrot in ways that made Armin's stressed body stretch. Igor must have gotten tired because he began to penetrate Armin with the vegetable at a slower pace, which seemed to be more excruciating as the seconds-minutes-?-ticked by. Armin had no idea how long he would be mercilessly tormented with the carrot, but it seemed like every second was a minute, and every minute was an hour.

“Fuck, he’s going to make me pop an ear drum.” Boris grumped in his native language, as Igor fucked Armin up his ass with the carrot. Armin was tensing, jolting, jerking, shouting, and crying like the wounded, traumatized teenager he was. He couldn’t form a coherent word as he trashed against his abusers out of pure instinct because the strength to fight had left him. He could feel himself bleeding, and was horrified that blood was apparently not a turn off. Armin panicked.

“Let me break him in. He’ll fit more then.” Igor suggested as he ripped the blood coated vegetable out of Armin’s body. Armin didn’t even notice—he was still thrashing, writhing, and groaning as if the abuse was still actively continuing, lost in his own panicked mind.

“Fine. I need a break from his incessant screaming.” Boris relented, and pushed Armin off of him. Boris stood up then and left the house, leaving Armin alone with Igor. Armin didn’t move from where he landed on the couch. He trembled violently, and wept from the searing pain he was in. Running was no longer on his mind. 

These men were demons in disguise. That's What Armin told himself. They were _hurting_ him in unimaginable ways that he couldn't even begin to comprehend, except that it actually happened to him. Armin couldn't defend himself against them, he was their doll to use and abuse. The worst part about it was that no one was coming to save him. Armin didn't want to live anymore.

“Mmm. C’mere.” Igor said, as he climbed on top of Armin and pressed him flat against the couch. Armin panted from exhaustion, and sobbed as his trembling legs were pushed apart. He whimpered loudly, but he was in too much pain induced shock to fight as Igor shoved his cock into Armin’s defenseless hole. Armin dug his nails into the couch, and with a defeated sob he let Igor fuck him up his ass with his dick. There was no point in fighting.

_I was wrong. Those flowers weren’t poisonous_. Armin realized, somewhere between the pain and shock of the sexual trauma he suffered. He lost the will to fight as he felt something snap, and break inside of him. _Wrong, wrong, wrong_. He repeated brokenly, as he was ravaged mercilessly.

When Igor licked some heavy tears off of Armin’s face, he didn’t flinch away. Armin didn’t react when Igor pulled at his hair or tailed his hands over his stomach and thighs either. Igor thrust himself into Armin fervently, having been turned on by Armin's distress. He savagely mashed their bodies together, connecting them for what might be a last time, and eventually ejaculated into him. Igor spoke to Armin, but the Russian was lost on the traumatized boy.

As a final insult, Igor pushed the carrot back into Armin's body, and figured that since he stretched Armin out, he might be able to accommodate one more, even if a bit of use was necessary. He stood up, and headed for the kitchen, leaving Armin broken, bloody, and humiliated. Armin hurt too much to move. He felt blood, and semen dribble out of him, and felt disgusted, and panicked. Armin wanted nothing more than to have his grandfather coddle him, and patch him up.

Minutes turned into an hour. Armin’s sobs were wet and breathless, but with time the panicked breaths had calmed into a eerie silence. He shifted slowly off of the couch and when he lost his balance, Armin went with the fall and spent a few minutes reeling on the ground. Shock left him uncoordinated, shaky, unbalanced and numb. Armin opted to crawl into the kitchen, despite how it hurt to move with the presence of the carrot. He reached his arm up, and scrabbled around for the kitchen knife he saw earlier.

By some luck, he found it, grabbed it, and pulled it down to rest it against his quivering knees he had pulled against his chest. Armin took one look at his miserable reflection and curled his shaking fingers around the handle. All hope had left Armin’s heart. No one was coming to save him. If he didn't do something, Igor would continue to shove his cock into his ravaged anus that because of Igor was leaking semen, and blood that made him feel dirty and used. He then pressed the knife to his wrist, and made a sharp cut. Blood pooled to the surface, and trickled down the sides of his arm. He hesitated, thinking of Eren.

_I’m sorry, Eren. Please don’t hate me. The plan failed, and I can’t…I told you I couldn’t handle it if he touched me again and he did…it hurt so much. I just hope you’ll understand because I’m done_. Armin thought as he pressed the knife against his neck, causing blood to trickle down his neck and slid under his shirt, the harder he pressed.

“You fucking brat! What the fuck did you do!?” Boris’s angry, booming voice sounded from the hallway, startling Armin. “Hey, where are you?” Armin paled and dropped the knife and kicked it away from him, as he whimpered with utter fear. He did not want to be caught with a knife. Boris stomped into the kitchen then, and then spotted Armin on the ground. Armin turned ghost white and fucking cowered.

Whenever Boris was angry with him, Boris would hit him, or bend him over a surface and fuck him silent. Armin couldn't imagine having Boris's cock fill his swollen, aching hole again. He clamped his shaking legs shut, and hid his bleeding arm behind his back.

“N-nothing, nothing…” Armin blurted automatically, as he held his other arm in front of his face to shield himself. He had been hit by Boris enough times for different reasons that he knew to cover himself and cower submissively. He'd be in for a bit of a rape if he back-chatted Boris.

“Nothing my ass. Igor’s puking his fucking guts up in the bathroom and you better have an explanation for it.” Boris demanded while he advanced on Armin, who was too scared to flee, even as his hair was grabbed, and he was yanked up. Armin yipped with pain and fear.

“Don’t know don’t know don’t know!’ Armin shouted hysterically, wanting nothing more than to flee and cower in a corner and cry. He had already been hurt so much tonight, he just wanted to be left the fuck alone. Whatever or whyever Igor was puking was of little concern to Armin’s frazzled mind. It did not occur to him that the poison might have worked.

“His heart rate has accelerated, he’s weak, vomiting, and complains of a burning mouth. You don’t know anything about that?” Boris pressed, his tone was dangerous and sent chills down Armin’s back. Armin shook his head back and forth frantically, dull, blue eyes wide with fear. Boris tsked with disgust and dropped Armin. “Fine. It could be alcohol poisoning. Fucker drinks too much.” Boris muttered and headed into the hallway, presumably to see how Igor was doing.

Free, Armin tearfully clambered weakly into his room, keeping low to the ground because he was too weak and shaken up to stand. He heard Igor vomiting in the bathroom, and ducked skittishly into his bedroom. Armin shut the door tentatively and pulled himself on to his bed, where he pulled the blanket over his head. He then dipped his hand between his legs and spent a good hour fumbling with the invasive carrot. His hands were so weak and shaky that he could barely grab the tip-Igor had shoved the carrot in from its thick head, and not its pointed end-let alone pull it out. Armin had to dig his ruined fingers into his traumatized hole a bit to help inch the carrot out. Its rough, dry surface made the process excruciatingly painful, but he wasn't about to leave it in him. 

Throughout the night, Armin listened to the noises of the house, Igor vomiting, and Boris cursing. There were other indescribable, muffled noises Armin couldn’t begin to determine. All Armin wanted to do was sleep, but all he could think about was how much the carrot had hurt him, and how long it had taken him to pull it out of his body. His fingers were drenched in blood, and when he lifted the blanket, the dark red stain on his mattress had become larger. Armin almost fainted at the sight of his bloody thighs, and bunched the blanket up to press it against his raw hole. He had curled into a tight ball, and shook as he hoped the bleeding would stop. 

It was an awful night.

Sometime after seven in the morning, Boris entered the room and shook the bundled, trembling lump on the bed. Armin whimpered and curled up tighter, feeling a sense of doom ripple through him.  “Get up. Igor’s dead. Buried him last night.” Boris said, shaking Armin again.  

“Wait. He’s dead?” Armin exclaimed, eyes bulging wide with surprise as he poked his head out from under the blanket. His mind was reeling. _Igor’s dead? The flowers were poisonous after all. I did it. I really killed him_. A sense of shock overcame Armin. His plan worked after all.

“Hell, you’re deathly pale. I thought you’d be fucking happy.” Boris scoffed, with a shrug of his arms. “Whatever. Just stay—”

And then Boris saw it. Sticking out from underneath the bed was a green book. Boris narrowed his eyebrows with confusion and bent down to pick it up. Boris turned to a page that had a folded corner and saw an image of yellow flowers, and read about how they were poisonous. Boris shut the book, and as rage flooded through him, he whacked Armin with the book. Armin yelped with pain, and surprise. He threw his hands over his stinging, ringing face.

“You fucking snake. I believed you were innocent, but you fucking poisoned him. Why? Because he fucked you up your ass with his cock?” Boris growled, his temper boiling hot while Armin cowered and cried.

“It just hurt…it hurt so much…!” Armin whimpered in his defense, and shrieked as he was beaten with the book again. He cowered, hovering his shaking arms above him to protect his head. “I didn’t want it. I…I didn’t l-l-like it…” Armin stuttered between his miserable sniffles.

“What a selfish fuck you are.” Armin flinched at the harsh words, and kept his shaking arms over himself. “Well, you got your fucking wish. You’ll never be fucked again because I’m going to make an example out of you. So come on.” Boris stated, and grabbed Armin by his hair and dragged him out of the bed.

“Wh-what are you going to d-do to m-me?” Armin stuttered fearfully as he was dragged through the house, and was pulled outside despite how he tried to hold on to doorways and furniture.

“I’m going to hold a public execution in case anyone else decides to get ideas about hurting me or my men.” Boris responded, and tugged Armin harder when he stopped. Armin lost the color in his face again, as his worst fears were confirmed.

“A…a execution?” Armin repeated with sheer terror, while his eyes bulged at the thought.  Not only had Boris found the book, but he was going to use Armin as an example to keep everyone else in line. Armin ground his heels into the earth, and wildly tried to wrench free. “Let me go, let me go! Let gooo!” Armin wailed desperately, and clawed at the man’s hand.

“Scream all you want, this is not a democracy.” Boris affirmed, and yanked Armin harder when the terrified, weak boy stumbled forwards.  

_Oh my God…Eren please save me_.


	7. Heroic Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boris wants to make an example out of Armin based on circumstantial evidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is death in this chapter, and gun violence. 
> 
> But can we talk about chapter 102 of the Attack on Titan manga? Like, how incredibly disappointed I am that Mikasa is not standing by Eren's side anymore? She's pulling a Daryl Dixon? Eren understands better than she does what he has done...he's the one who slept besides these people and lived amongst them...he doesn't want to kill them but if killing them means his friends can live, that's what he'll do. And she's all, "Oh, it's unforgivable." I'm very upset about that...and then Floch is a member of the team? Floch, who hates Armin? Floch who told Armin to his face that he should have died? People KILL themselves over shit like that! And Eren never punched Floch out. I'm still irritated Eren didn't defend Armin. And on top of this, Floch respects Eren now? Armin's best friend? Which, by the way, was Armin featured in 102? I didn't recognize him if so. I feel like I've seen everyone else. That last panel could have been Armin. If so, he looks...more serious? Was that him? I don't know. And I know Gabi was made to be the female version of Eren, but can we also talk about how Gabi looks exactly like Fir from the Fire Emblem series??  
> And am I the only one disappointed that Levi, Armin, Eren and Mikasa's alpha genes are not likely to be passed on to a child? The world needs more people like them. >.>;  
> Like, we have enough Connie and Sasha like people breeding...  
> But it would have been nice if any of the awesome alpha foursomes (Erwin included making 5) would have taken the time to pop a kid out. I don't think it's gonna happen, though. Eren and Armin have a ticking time bomb hovering over their heads. Levi is climbing in age. And Mikasa...doesn't look like a girl anymore, which would turn a lot of potential men off (considering I don't think Eren is gonna live. He wouldn't have cared what she looked like.) Mikasa's the only one who potentially has her "whole life ahead of her" but I don't know. I just don't know what's gonna happen. x.x;  
> And who is Gabi going to fight? Eren, or Mikasa? I'm kind of intrigued, either way...but they better watch out. Gabi is a cowardly, cleverly, little snake. She won't fight fair.  
> I'm totally on Paradis Island side by the way, because, even though their ancestors may have been the aggressors in the past, these people were ignorant and innocent and the Marleyans freaking attacked them and kept attacking them. All of this is has been self-defense. Which I suppose that's what happens with wars but still. I don't know if Paradis Island will win. I want them to. But I also know Isyama doesn't like to throw us fans any bones. :/

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 7: Heroic Potato**

The sun was high in the Sunday Sky, offering its spring warmth to the village below. However, Armin could not have been colder as he stood bare before every remaining villager he had ever known. Shame colored his cheeks as he felt everyone stare at him with complex emotions he did not want to begin to try to dissect, nor acknowledge. He avoided the pitying, horrified stares the way he avoided the local village bullies. Head down stubbornly, hands clenched with distress, and a prayer on his tongue as an invisible shield.

 _I am going to die_. Was all Armin could think as he trembled, pale, and marred in brusies and cuts. He had been ready to kill himself last night when he thought the poison attempt had failed, but now that he knew Igor was dead, all Armin wanted to do was live. Boris was a prick, but Armin figured if he was obedient, that he could endure what ever field, or house work the soldier might force on to him. Murder was not something Armin could endure.

Death was permanent, and just as binding as the rope that dug into his ivory wrists, behind his back. There seemed to be no escape, and in the midst of Armin’s frazzled mind, he couldn’t think of a way out of this. Exhaustion, pain, and a fear maddened mind made him incapable of thinking properly. Armin broke out in a cold sweat, fearing judgement day had come. He heard confused, alarmed, indiscernible murmurs from the crowd of villagers and soldiers.

Eren and Mikasa were the loudest amongst the crowd, but even they were silenced by a few soldiers threatening them with guns. They all could see Armin’s wounds, his vulnerability, and his shame. Armin was hiding his face behind his yellow fringe, but Eren and Mikasa knew he was feeling humiliated by the way his shoulders were turned in close to his shaky body.

“Last night,” Boris began, speaking loudly to gain the attention of the crowd he had rounded up and gathered, “This little cock-slut poisoned a fellow soldier, Igor Sokolov, resulting in his death.” Igor announced as he grabbed a fistful of Armin’s hair and yanked on it, which elicited a tortured cry from the boy.

There were surprised, appalled, and disbelieving gasps alongside angry, confused shouts which rose from the soldiers and villagers alike. Some of the soldiers were enraged to hear a comrade had died, while a lot of the villagers, Eren and Mikasa, were outraged that Armin was being blamed for a death. Even if it was true, Eren didn’t want Armin’s character to be assassinated like this.

“Bullshit!” Eren yelled from amongst the crowd, who were packed close together. A lot of people, from both crowds, German and Russian, murmured with agreement. It was clear from the general unrest of the crowds that no one really believed such a little, young boy could have committed the devious, insidious crime he was being accused of. Armin was ghostly pale, and appeared faint, even to the village children who did not quite understand what was going on.

“He’s a good child!” Mrs. Schmidt called, not believing for a second that Armin was capable of murder. He was a innocent, precious, down-trodden, troubled child who shied away from violence. Little Arlert was not capable of violence, and it was offensive to her sensibilities that he was being accused at all.

Even some of the soldiers began to opine on the fact that a fucking child was tied up, and exposed to everyone. “Ah, Igor was a drunk with a bad liver. Everyone knows that.” Dennis griped dismissively, with a wave of his hand.

“This transgression will not be ignored just because he is young. He is a murderer, and will be executed.” Boris announced, while he let go of Armin’s hair and gripped his arm tightly, to keep him close. The color drained from Armin’s face as he was reminded that Boris was intending to kill him.

“Oh fuck. He’s fucking serious—he’s going to kill that poor fuck.” Albert realized, remembering Armin was the kid that he watched be gang-raped. Albert figured that In all reality, the little blonde probably did kill Igor. That was no loss to humanity. However, Boris seemed pretty peeved about it, which meant that boy was going to lose his head. “Viktor, find Edgar—I think he’s sleeping behind the whores house. I’ll owe you one.” Albert begged, shoving at his companion soldier.

Viktor’s eyes gleamed at the thought of Albert owing him a favor. “Consider it done.” Viktor agreed, and sidled out of the crowd of soldiers, and ran off to find Edgar who was the only one who could save the condemned German.

“Let this be a warning to all of you—” Boris pressed the cold steel of the gun to Armin’s temple. Armin shrieked, and went rigid. “If you harm us, we’ll execute you.” Boris warned, and rubbed the barrel of the gun threateningly against Armin’s face. Armin whimpered fearfully and squeezed his eyes shut. “Just.Like.This.” Boris’s finger twitched towards the trigger.

“Wait.”

Everyone paused, and looked to Edgar Alexey, who was a fellow Captain, therein Boris’s equal. Edgar headed towards Boris and Armin with long, confident strides full of purpose. He was looking right at Armin, taking note of each blatant injury on the child’s body, all of which were consistent with abuse.

 _There’s no way he killed Igor. He can barely stand_. Edgar thought to himself, and stopped in front of Armin. Boris let Armin go, intrigued to hear what Edgar had to say. Edgar knelt down before Armin, resting an arm over his own knee while his other knee was pressed to the ground. He grabbed Armin’s chin and tilted his head up to face him. Armin couldn’t repress a scared whimper.

“Hey. Why’d you do it?” Edgar asked, as he closely observed Armin’s tortured body. Some of the wounds were obvious of long hours in the fields, and house work, particularly the way his trembling hands were mangled. However, the rest of the wounds were evident of abuse, which may or may not have been inflicted by Igor.

Since Igor was dead, and Armin’s body was marred with obvious sexual abuse, Edgar figured Armin would have had a damn good reason to kill Igor. In fact, Edgar hoped Armin would blame Igor, because than he could save his life.

 _Why_? Armin repeated numbly in his head. Was the answer not obvious? Armin stared at the stranger, and noticed he was different than the other soldiers he had met. There was an honest light in those brown eyes that reflected sympathy, and warmth that soothed some of Armin’s panicked nerves.

“H-he t-t-touched m-me…” Armin tentatively stammered, keeping his voice deliberately soft so only Edgar and Boris could hear him as he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

“That’s a clever boy.” Edgar praised, as he set his hand on Armin’s head and ruffled his hair. Armin instinctively flinched away from the hand, and stared at Edgar warily. “Oh, don’t look so scared you poor Kid. I was hoping to hear a confession like that.” Edgar commented, as he stood up to meet with Boris on level ground. Armin was left feeling confused, and perplexed.

Who was this Russian soldier, and did he coax a confession out of him to help him, or damn him? Armin stared up at the two men, timidly feeling skittish and nervous. He had known the risks of murdering a soldier, and had poisoned Igor anyways. Armin had been too tired, and traumatized to properly dispose of the evidence, and now here he was, before everyone he knew.

“Did you know that Igor was touching him?” Edgar asked Boris sternly, getting straight to the point. There was no reason to beat around the bush when a child’s life was being threatened. Boris glanced at Edgar as a silent confirmation, then looked back to Armin.

“Right. He _touched_ you.” Boris snarled at Armin who cringed away, and then refocused on the crowd of apprehensive villagers. “Igor was poisoned like a dog for shoving his cock into his ass.” Boris informed the people, who had mixed reactions.

Some of the soldiers shut up and looked away, while others jeered and ‘booed’. Most of the female villagers were confused, and unable to comprehend a penis entering a butt. Sex was between a man and a woman, so they didn’t quite understand Armin’s reason for killing a Russian soldier.

“It hurt!” Armin defended, panicking, and pale. Edgar lifted a hand to hush Armin, so he wouldn’t incriminate himself further than he already was. He had not used words, but Armin felt scolded and ducked his head down, while he gritted his chattering teeth. He was fucking scared. 

“So you did know Igor was sodomizing him and you did nothing to stop it.” Edgar accused, raising his eyebrows in judgement. Armin nodded furiously, further confirming the man’s accusation, even though he was unfamiliar with the new term. He was sure it applied to him.

“A bit of forced sex did not give him the right to fucking murder one of our comrades.” Boris replied flippantly as he downplayed the crime, and tugged on Armin’s hair again, wrenching him close. Armin yelped in response. “You hear how indignant he is about confessing to murder?” Boris huffed, holding Armin hostage. Armin wanted to scrabbled at Boris's hand, that was pulling on his sore head, but he couldn't. 

“Look at him. Look at us. We have strength. He doesn’t. We have weapons. He does not. The only way he could have protected himself would have been to use poison, but we both know that he didn’t do it.” Edgar responded in defense of the scared, little German boy. Armin parted his lips with surprise, and shock that someone with power, and authority was defending him. He never thought he would receive the benefit of the doubt. 

“There was a plant book underneath his bed, with a marked page to a poisonous flower. Trust me, he fucking poisoned Igor.” Boris affirmed stubbornly, having already made up his mind that Armin was guilty. And Armin was guilty. Edgar knew it too, but he was obviously sympathizing with Armin.

“While I agree that is suspicious, we have no proof he put that book under his bed, nor if he was the one who marked the page. It is likely, of course, but here’s the thing. You said this happened last night. But one, there’s no flowers around the village, which would mean he would have had to venture out to the fields, or by God, the mountains.” Edgar reasoned, poking holes in Boris’s proof, to aid Armin despite the fact that Armin had technically confessed to the murder.

“So?” Boris pressed dismissively, and turned his attention on to Armin to get a rise out of him. “Why don’t you tell _Captain_ Edgar what a _prissy_ little _bitch_ you are? How you screamed, and cried like a bitch whenever Igor fucked you up your tight ass, but then you ran off to get fucked by your loud, annoying friend?” Boris suggested insidiously, while he grabbed Armin’s cock. Armin shrieked in response as he jolted and then shook his head left, and right vigorously.

“Oh God no! Don’t touch me _there_!” Armin shouted fearfully while his cheeks burned red and his eyes filled with hot tears. The only person who had touched Armin’s cock other than himself was Eren, and he wanted to keep those good memories pure, and untainted. _What is he going to do to me_?

“Stop it!” Eren yelled, calling attention to himself, as he bristled, readying himself to fight. Mikasa grabbed his arms, restraining him from making any rash decisions. Eren wrenched his arm, but he could not break away from her, and growled with frustration. “Let me go! If he wants to make an example of someone, let it be me!”

“Shut up, Eren. I want to help him too, but we or another would be shot before we could do anything.” Mikasa scolded him, to get him to stew in silence with her. She did not want to lose Armin, but she knew she could not lose Eren. Any trouble they might make could make Armin’s impending death more gruesome as well, which she was aware of.

“Get your fucking hand off him. He’s a fucking child.” Edgar snarled, appalled that Boris would touch Armin in such a lewd way. All he saw in Armin was his own child back home, who was a new-age feminine gay-boy who while he did not always understand, he loved and supported all the same. To him, Armin might as well be Todd, even though the two didn’t look alike. That made this feel personal, which was working in Armin's favor.

“Actually, in many parts of the world, he is considered an adult the moment these drop.” Boris retorted, cupping and fingering Armin’s balls that hadn't actually dropped yet, just to make him squirm. Armin wiggled, and whined in response. “And as an adult, in accordance with backwater rural villages like these, we’ll abide by the eye-for-an-eye Law. He poisoned Igor who died as a result. I’ll shoot his fucking brains out and let the birds pick at his bones.” Boris explained, and smirked upon seeing Edgar’s hands clenched into fists.

“All you have is circumstantial evidence that means nothing. Take one look at him. He looks like he’s going to fucking pass out and die. Do you really think he had the energy to poke around the fields for poisonous flowers last night?” Edgar said as he gestured with his hand to Armin, as if one look at him would prove that he was innocent.

And it kind of did. Armin could barely hold himself upright, standing on pale, wobbly legs. The gruesome wounds, combined with the terror and desperation in Armin’s eyes made Edgar’s blood boil with rage. There was nothing Armin could have done to deserve being battered, or raped like he had been.

“I did it! I du—nngh!” Eren shouted, until Mikasa clamped a hand over his mouth, and wrapped another arm around his chest to pin his arms at his sides.

“This is not a fucking democracy. We’re in a hick village. The lack of plaid clothing and overalls is shocking.” Boris snapped, irritated that his authority was being questioned. Armin realized Boris had expected him and his fellow villagers to wear overalls and plaid clothing—whatever they were, which meant that Boris must have had other assumptions as well.

 _Could I use this to my advantage_? Armin wondered, and thought about daily life in the village. Their lives were all similar, but Armin was one of the only villagers who could read. “P-please let me go. I can’t even r-read, I swear. I just like looking at the pictures of flowers I’ve never seen before.” Armin lied, a plea to his tone as he let the tears stream down his face to present the image of a confused, terrified, ignorant boy. It was only partially an act.

“If he can’t read, he would have no way of knowing what the book said.” Edgar mused, believing Armin without question, partially because the boy’s words proved he was innocent after all. “This is a rural, hick village after all.” Edgar drove the point home with a smile, loving how Boris’s use of stereotypes exploded back into his face. Armin was such a clever child.  

“Tch. Take him, then.” Boris growled with disgust, and shoved Armin. Armin gasped, and stumbled forwards, becoming dizzy.

“Come on, Little one.” Edgar coaxed, as he caught Armin, and steadied him. Armin glanced warily over his shoulder at Boris, feeling the tension emanating off of him, then snapped his head back to Edgar when the binds around his wrists were cut. Edgar pocketed the knife and then shrugged his military coat off, and placed it around Armin’s trembling shoulders.

“Th-thank you…” Armin whispered gratefully, and shivered into the coat that he pulled around his body tightly, to hide his body and preserve any remaining modesty. He glanced back timidly at Boris again, feeling uneasy that Boris was going to let him go, just like that.

 “You’re welcome. Now, let’s get you cleaned up, fed, and dressed.” Edgar suggested as he set a hand on the small of Armin’s back, and gently nudged him forwards. Armin took a hesitant step forwards, scared the worst was still yet to come. Edgar then looped an arm around Armin’s thin, malnourished body and started to guide him away from the undeserved fate. “I am glad you made the right choice and handed him over to me since we’re supposed to protect the Germans.” Edgar told Boris, without looking at him, since he was preoccupied with supporting Armin enough to let him lean against him as they walked.

 _Click_.

 _Fucking Prick_. Edgar thought as the horrified, alarmed gasps from the villagers told him that the fight for Armin’s life was not over yet. “Todd, get down!” Edgar shouted as he wrenched Armin against his body, to shield him from any cowardly, yet decisive bullet.

 _Boom_!

Edgar collapsed on to the ground. Armin screamed alongside horrified villagers, while some soldiers merely gasped because death didn’t shock them the way death shocked citizens.

 _He turned on his own!_ Armin thought with shock, and dread. The only man who had had the power, and authority to save Armin’s life was bleeding out on the ground. _Oh God I’m going to die_. Armin realized as panic began to make him feel faint. He knew he should not have resorted to murder, but after the carrot incident, Armin felt justified for poisoning the fucker.

“Your turn.” Boris declared as he slammed the butt of the gun against the back of Armin’s neck, causing him to shriek with pain and collapse to the ground, losing consciousness.

A gun shot tore through the village.

Every villager screamed.

. . .

“Fucking finally.” Levi muttered, as he found the weapons stash. He and Erwin had infiltrated the village when the villagers, and soldiers all seemed to come out of the houses and gather in the center of the town. That had given Erwin and Levi time to hunt for weapons and munch on a stolen loaf of bread as they moved through the village and searched.

In Levi’s hands was a old gun. He began loading himself up with the guns he could, strapping them onto his body and hiding them. Erwin was doing the same, and when they were armed, they cautiously stepped outside and curiously headed for the crowd. They hid themselves each behind a house, and observed from afar.

Their suspicions had been confirmed—Russian soldiers had invaded the village, and since there was no men in sight other then the soldiers, they each guessed the village men had been shot. Was that what was happening now? A continuation of that? Even though the Russians were meant to protect the German citizens?  

“Look. That Kid.” Levi mouthed to Erwin, and gestured with his head towards the blonde boy. Erwin merely nodded in acknowledgement, though it was clear he was distracted with thought.

That blonde boy from the mountains was being manhandled by a Russian captain. He was naked, and covered in alarming bruises, and scrapes. Levi and Erwin shared a look between each other. The little blonde had obviously been sexually abused by a soldier and not his friend who was causing trouble in the crowd.

Another Russian Captain stepped forwards, and knelt before the boy. There was an exchange of some sort, and then the new Captain stood up to challenge the other one. Their bodies were tense, and rigid, while the boy looked terrified of the heated testosterone igniting between the adults.

Within minutes, it seemed like the new captain one the battle for authority, and after covering the kid in a long military coat, he began to lead him away from the original captain. As soon as his back was turned, Erwin and Levi tensed, seeing the man lift his gun up.

There was no warning as the trigger was pulled, splattering the good Captains brains on to the ground. Screams echoed from the villagers. The remaining, murderous Captain knocked the panicked kid out with the back of his gun.

“He’s going to fucking shoot that kid.” Levi muttered grimly, and looked at Erwin again, who was having the same thought in his head. Erwin had his eyebrows narrowed. He was thinking. Levi shut up, and turned his attention back to the poor kid, who had been put on public display in one of the most humiliating, cruel ways. Now, he would never wake up again.

When the gun was aimed to the unconscious kid’s head, Levi’s hand twitched towards one of the guns he had, but he fucking jumped when a close gun shot roared over the village. It took Levi a moment to realize Erwin had beaten him to the shot. Erwin was already on the move, to gain a new advantage point. Levi blinked at Erwin’s retreating form, then followed suit, going the other direction.

 _Fucking bleeding heart_. Levi thought to himself as he rolled his eyes. Erwin always wanted to play hero.  

Now everyone was alarmed, alert, and confused. The Russian soldiers were hunting for the invisible enemy. Eren could care less about what was going on. He wrenched away from Mikasa and pushed past the crowd, rushing towards Armin. He knelt down, and pulled Armin against him.

Gun shots rang out. People screamed and began to scatter for their lives. Mikasa ran to Eren, and hunkered down with him.

“Nobody move.” A firm, stern voice commanded, from on high. The soldiers looked up, and on top of a rooftop was a tall, German man, with a gun pointed down. “The Rebellion Deutschland army has you all surrounded. We will lower our guns, if you lower yours.” Erwin declared, with a serious expression. If there was one thing he learned, it was how to bluff. He’d make this whole village go up in flames if that’s what it took to protect that one blonde kid, who suspiciously reminded him of someone he knew.

“The Rebellion German army?” Albert repeated, gun hoisted from the search to find the gunman who shot Boris, who had been about to murder a innocent German child. Ah. _He’s protecting his own_. Albert realized, and as the next highest authority personnel, lowered his gun. “Everyone, lower your guns. They’re protecting their own.”

Everyone had been hearing whispers about the Rebellion German Army, the new pride of Deutschland. Their goal was to restore their homeland to its previous splendor, and to make Germany great again. With that in mind, Albert, and many of the other soldiers recognized Erwin as an ally. It didn’t matter that he shot one of their own Russians. No one had wanted to see a child be killed.

“Now, we are taking our village back. I suggest you move out by dawn.” Erwin announced, making sure to meet everyone’s eyes.

“You heard him, guys. We’ll regroup with our army and let them know this village is secured.” Albert informed the rest of his own soldiers, who murmured with agreement. They were restless, and bored here. Some of them yearned for war as opposed to trying, and failing to find ways to entertain themselves in such a little, plain village.

“Let’s get ready to leave than. I am itching for a proper woman.” A soldier commented in agreement, and headed to the house he had been staying in this last week. Others followed suit, while villagers again headed home, to reel from the violence they witnessed.

When the crowds had parted, Erwin slid off the roof, and let himself drop to the ground. Levi did the same, from another rooftop. Erwin headed straight for the three friends, two of whom had been listening to the exchange.

“You’re the one who shot Boris, aren’t you?” Eren guessed, sensing the no-nonsense, confident vibe emanating from him. The tall blonde man was a leader, whose presence commanded respect.

“I did.” Erwin confirmed, as he focused his attention to the quiet blonde boy nestled in Eren’s arms. From what he could tell based on the way Armin’s chest was rising and falling, the kid was still alive. “Is he okay?” Erwin asked then, recalling the bruises from earlier, along with the memories from the night on the mountain.

Even asleep, Armin did not look okay.

“No. He isn’t. Do you and your group have medical supplies? We’re a bit short on herbs.” Eren inquired, knowing Armin desperately needed to be treated by a doctor.

“It’s just the two of them, Eren.” Mikasa pointed out, since Eren had not realized yet that Erwin had been bluffing. Eren looked at her with surprise, then looked back to Erwin who nodded.

“While it is true that I was bluffing, I am the commander of the Deutschland Rebellion army. We’re in need of some supplies before we head out again, but we can take you guys with us where a doctor will be waiting.” Erwin offered, since he did not want to leave the unconscious, battered kid behind. Eren and Mikasa looked at each other nervously.

“He’ll die if he doesn’t come with us.” Levi spoke up, crossing his arms across his chest. It was too obvious that the little German needed medical help. Eren grit his teeth, and clenched his hands into fists. Mikasa set a hand on his shoulder.

“Lets go then.” Mikasa decided, since there seemed to be no choice available to them. Armin did need a doctor to look at him, after all.

“Fine. We’ll stock up at Armin’s house and leave.” Eren reluctantly stated, as he stood up, bringing Armin with him.

“Hold it. I will be carrying him, being that you’re wounded too.” Erwin affirmed, and reached for Armin. Eren jerked away with snapping teeth.

“No one is going to fucking touch him but me.” Eren snapped, and held Armin protectively against him.

“Drop the brat or die.” Levi warned, hoisting his gun up, and aimed it at Eren. Mikasa tensed, and set a hand over Eren’s shoulder.

“If you don’t relinquish Armin to them, you’ll be responsible for making Armin wait longer for a doctor. Let us not be bogged down by your wounded leg.” Mikasa said, being the voice of reason since she didn’t want to lose either boy. Eren turned to gape at her.

“Whose side are you even on!?” Eren exclaimed, appalled that she would even think of handing Armin over to strangers.

“Yours, Eren. So hand him over.” Mikasa assured impatiently. She wanted Eren to see a doctor about the gunshot wound to his leg, he received a week ago.

“Ugh. How do we know you’re not going to kidnap him and rape him?” Eren asked defensively, rounding on the strangers.

“Ew. Gross.” Levi muttered, disgusted by the thought of shacking up with a child who looked suspiciously like a younger version of his commanding officer he had sexual relations with.

“You don’t. You just have to trust us. It’s the only chance your friend has to live.” Erwin responded candidly, and reached for Armin again. Eren growled with frustration, and reluctantly let Armin be plucked out of his arms.

“Don’t make me regret that.” Eren warned, as if he had any power, or authority to be issuing threats.

“I will not. Now, let us restock for the journey ahead.” Erwin suggested, and held Armin against him as he headed down the road. Eren moved in front of Erwin to lead the way


	8. Desperate Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin feels an inexplicable responsibility towards Armin who is succumbing to a fever, and pledges to save his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gained inspiration for this fanfic last night, thinking about how much comfort Armin needs in his life. I wanted a chapter dedicated to people doting on Armin because he really needs a comforting touch after the hell he endured previously. The chapter may have sad moments but I did want to emphasis the comfort Armin was receiving, even if he's not entirely aware of it. 
> 
> Ya'll know I can't get enough of PapaErwin/Armin, after all.

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 8: Desperate Potato**

A familiar pain jolted Armin awake and sent him spiraling into a panicked frenzy.

“No, no, no…not again, oh god! Stop it!” Armin screamed, straining his already raspy voice, and flailed his limbs desperately. His foot collided with a face. A pained, surprised noise sounded from the one Armin thought was assaulting him.

“Shit! I told you we should have drugged him!” Another voice exclaimed, and then all Armin knew was that his arms were being held down, which made his heart race faster with heightened panic against his chest.

“We don’t have any drugs.” A calmer, firmer voice responded.

“Get _off_ of me!” Armin shouted, fear and pain emboldening him to fight back for the first time in his life.

 In the quick glimpses he caught of his immediate surroundings, Armin saw two strangers, clothed, and wearing serious expressions on their faces. Another hasty glance to his left revealed a third member, one Armin recognized. “E-Eren! Help me!” Armin pleaded, as he managed to yank his arm free and stretched it towards his best friend.

“A-Armin, you have to calm down!” Eren yelled, from where he stood just a ways behind a tall, blonde haired man. Armin shook his head fervently, while he tried to yank his legs free from the hold of a short, dark haired man.

“Th-eyy are hurting me!” Armin cried, argumentatively as he continued to thrash against the two men who were holding him down, because the one was penetrating him with something—or himself? Armin didn’t really know what was going on, and he did not want to know, he only wanted people to stop touching him.

All Armin knew was that his sore body was being penetrated, and the pain was excruciating.

“Hold him down. You can’t help him if he’s struggling—he’ll hurt himself.” The calmer man demanded, holding Armin down as much as he could.

“What the fuck does it look like I’m doing!?” Snapped the dark haired man, who was now applying enough pressure on Armin’s legs to keep them down. The blonde man held Armin’s wrists against the ground, but Armin still twisted and turned in what ever way he could, desperate to escape the situation he didn’t understand.

“Stop it, Armin! You’ll hurt yourself.” Eren insisted as he came forwards, and pressed his hands against Armin’s shoulders, to help keep him Armin still. Armin shook his head frantically, and continued to struggle as much as he could.

“Help me, Eren! It—it hurts!” Armin yelled desperately, focusing on Eren who was his only friend amongst strangers.

“I know, I know Armin. Just listen, I swear, they’re _helping_ you.” Eren insisted, as tears welled up in his green eyes. Armin whimpered with protest and struggled as hard as he could, desperate to escape these unfamiliar men who held him down, and hurt him. Eren knew Armin wasn’t understanding what was going on—hell, he didn’t understand much either, other than these people were helping Armin. And for them to help Armin, Armin needed to calm down.

“Make them stop…I don’t want to be touched.” Armin begged, crying harder as the pain only seemed to intensify. He was raw, and sore in ways he had not thought possible.

“It’s okay, Armin. Just focus on me.” Eren coaxed, and pressed his forehead to Armin’s, and entangled his hands into his sweaty hair. Armin had no choice but to look into Eren’s sympathetic, concerned green eyes now, that were just as teary as his own. Armin’s breath hitched, and he began to sob with defeat.

“At least he’s not struggling now, fuck.” A gruff voice commented with relief, and sighed. Another jolt of pain shot through Armin’s body that made him jerk, and whimper.

“Can’t you be gentle with him?” A firm voice snapped, expressing concern for the child. “He’s hurting.”

“You know I can’t do anything about pain without drugs to give him. The alcohol was our only saving grace, no matter how much it hurt him.” That harsh voice tsked, in an manner Armin hadn’t heard anyone speak before.

None of them could even begin to understand just how much Armin did not want to be touched, even in a helping manner. He didn’t want it. Unfamiliar touches hurt. Armin expressed this through his cries, jerks, and whimpers, all the while gentle Eren coaxed him through this as a good friend should. They even cried together, their tears melding into one.

“Fucking finally. I’m out of here.” The gruff one grumbled as he finished with Armin, and then more footsteps sounded. Eren took this as a cue to stand up straight, and rub the tears from his eyes. Armin immediately propped himself up on to his elbows, and looked first at his body, where fresh strips of clothes had been wrapped around some of his wounds.

“Ah…” Armin groaned with pain and cupped the back of his neck. He couldn’t quite remember why it hurt so much, but he laid back down to ease the strain. As he did, a tall, blonde, blue-eyed man came into his line of vision, and to his surprise and horror, pushed some of his hair out of his face.

“You’re safe now.” The man swore, caressing Armin’s bruised face in a fatherly fashion that startled Armin into complacency. “I know you’re hurt and scared right now, but you’re going to be okay. Hanji doctored you up the best they could, and Levi’s getting the horses ready for us to head for the city. It will take a few days for us to arrive, but if you can be strong, you’ll survive.”

“Wh-who are you?” Armin asked weakly, as he eyed the military uniform the man wore. _He must be a German soldier_. Armin thought, and felt a bit of relief. “And what do you mean city?” Armin wondered, since the term was unfamiliar to him.

“My name is Erwin Smith. I am the Commander of the Rebellion. My crew and I will be taking you to the next village as soon as the horses are ready.” He explained, in simple terms so Armin could focus on them, in his weakened state.

“T-taking me?” Armin questioned, and reached out of Eren’s arm. Eren grabbed Armin’s hand, and rubbed his thumb over his knuckles to soothe him.

“I am going with you.” Eren promised, since he wasn’t about to let strangers take Armin away from the village unsupervised. Armin just nodded numbly, tired after the fighting, and struggling he had done. If Eren was going with him, he would be protected. He leaned into Eren’s other hand that was on his head, and closed his eyes. He was battered, cold, and hungry.

. . .

 

The afternoon light illuminated the mountains, where the travelers had reached after a night of riding horses. They were resting now, sitting around a small campfire. Erwin and Levi sat close to each other, while Eren cradled a sleeping Armin. Armin hadn’t been conscious since he had fallen asleep against Eren’s hand earlier. This lethargy was alarming to the adults, who had already been eyeing Armin’s small, malnourished, battered body.

They could only guess as to what Armin had endured during the Russian invasion. Some of Armin’s wounds were obvious—Levi knew because he had doctored Armin up to the best of his ability but fuck, the kid needed a proper doctor—or to be dipped in that sacred spring in the mountains of bumfuck no where that Levi couldn’t quite recall the name of. It was an unfortunate side effect of him having grown up in the Underground—thieves and crooks always had treasures to chase and tell of that he couldn’t keep track of what treasure was where.

“Armin and I saw the Russian soldiers first. We tried to run away from them, and head back to town, but they shot at us. That’s why my leg is fucked up. It’s not healing properly and as nervous as I am about that, I am more concerned about Armin. Some of the soldiers…they…” Eren recalled, and felt shame spread across his face as he remembered how fucking useless he had been to Armin. Armin was gang-raped in front of Eren, and he had been powerless to stop it.

“Hm?” Levi questioned, raising a eyebrow at Eren who was debating on how he could tell them what happened to his best friend. Eren remained quiet for a moment as he struggled for words.

“I…I don’t understand why they didn’t choose me at all…they just…there were five of them and they…they hurt him…” Eren said, his voice coming off as a frustrated whine while tears welled up into the corners of his eyes. He held Armin closer, and listened to his friends uneven breaths.

“How?” Erwin asked, although he had already imagined a few different scenario’s. He knew that soldiers of any country could be cruel, since soldiers were people. People had a peculiar knack for cruelty. Erwin was also aware of how every army seemed to have a couple of bad soldiers that would gang-rape the natives of an opposing or foreign country. Fraternization was forbidden, but it did happen, and Erwin was concerned that his suspicions were right.

“I don’t—I don’t know, okay!? A-all I know is that…is that they s-stuck their dick—their fucking dick—!—into him. Armin screamed. I cried. I only know that he was in pain and he called for me but I couldn’t help him.” Eren cried, tormented by the awful memories of his childhood friend being hurt in such an unfathomable way. He had never—never thought to do something like that until that day. He felt a lot of guilt, and shame for that day—and for the day in the river. He still didn’t quite understand why Armin had wanted him to touch him like that.

A sigh escaped Erwin’s mouth, while a groan sounded from the back of Levi’s throat. Their worst fears had been confirmed. A fucking child—by modern society’s standpoint—had been gang-raped by strong, hairy men abusing their power, and rank.

“What you’re telling us is that Armin was gang-raped.” Erwin rephrased grimly, resting his knuckles against his chin. Armin would need extensive therapy, provided he survived the trip.

“Fuck.” Levi cursed, and reminded himself that he hated being right. He had seen Armin’s limp on the mountain and had known instantly that someone had been fucking him. Levi rubbed his eyes with a frustrated hand. This was why he hated people. People were fucked in the head.

“Y-yeah…I guess?” Eren muttered uncertainly as he rubbed some tears away from his face with the palm of his hand. His other arm was wrapped securely around Armin, who was trembling. None of them knew if Armin was cold, or if he was experiencing shock. Armin wasn’t awake to tell them.

“How long has he been shivering?” Levi wondered then, taking note of Armin’s shaking body.

“Uh…since before we left. I think he’s cold, but I—hey! What are you doing!?” Eren shouted as Levi leaned around the camp fire to press his knuckles to Armin’s forehead. Levi caressed Armin’s flushed face, feeling the heat, and sweat.

“He’s fevering. We need to power through and keep going.” Levi stated as he stood up, ready to hop back on to the horse. Eren frowned, not quite understanding the serious tone in Levi’s voice.

“Fevers can kill.” Erwin explained, while he pushed himself to his feet and put the fire out. Eren wrapped his arms around Armin and stood up, carrying him with him. If Armin’s life was in danger, Eren would power through more endless horseback riding. Eren headed straight for the horse. Erwin clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Switch with me.”

“What?” Eren balked, and held Armin closer to his body, protectively.

“Let Levi hold him—” Erwin ignored Levi’s own surprised exclaimed ‘what’—"Levi is the only medic we have. If Armin—”

“No, oh hell no! You carry the kid because if he urinates on me I’ll shove him off the fucking horse and don’t think I won’t.” Levi barked, interrupting Erwin. Erwin closed his eyes and tried to suppress a sigh.

“Nuh-uh. No one but me touches Armin.” Eren stressed, backing away from the other men. Erwin sighed then.

“Look. You were already passing out as you held him earlier. If you pass out, he falls too. Give him to me.” Erwin said, and stepped towards Eren. Eren paled and took a step back. For a moment, he thought about running. Then, he realized Erwin was right. Eren sagged his shoulders with defeat.

“Here.” Eren relented, letting Erwin take Armin from him. Erwin scooped Armin up carefully, minding his wounds.

“Thank you.” Erwin stated, and carried Armin to the waiting horse that was the property of Potato town.  Erwin climbed on to the horse, balancing Armin in one strong arm. As Erwin settled Armin against him, Armin’s head lolled to the side, to rest against Erwin’s collarbone. He groaned pitifully in his uneasy sleep.

“Dad…” Armin whimpered, and lifted his arms up to curl around Erwin’s neck. Erwin stiffened. Levi and Eren stared. Armin was definitely sleeping, and unaware of his actions.

“Come on, brat.” Levi commanded, grabbing Eren’s shoulder and half dragged him to the other horse. Eren distractedly watched for Armin to move again, but he did not. Levi climbed on to the horse and took the reigns of it, while Eren climbed behind him. Eren reluctantly wrapped his arms around Levi’s body, and kept his attention on Armin who had been through so much that he definitely wanted to be held by his dad.

Erwin wrapped one arm around Armin’s tiny waist, and held the reigns of the horse with the other hand. He goaded the horse to walk, and their journey continued. Levi had his horse follow alongside Eren, and together they headed in the direction of the city. It didn’t take long for Eren to pass out against Levi, because he had endured his own horrors during the time the Russians had infiltrated their town.

Not that all of the Russian soldiers had been cruel. Eren had met some who were just doing their job. Then there were others who had been cruel. It was the way of life, he had supposed. There were kind, and cruel people everywhere. It was a concept the adults understood as well. Levi tried not to be bothered that a kid was sleeping against him since Erwin must have it worse, with a unpredictable kid sleeping against him.

“Ah…ah…” Armin groaned as he began to wake, racked with hunger pains. His slack arms lowered and hugged his stomach, while it growled, and contracted. He hadn’t opened his eyes, but his quickened, labored breath and shaky movements alerted Erwin that he was very much awake, even if he might not be entirely aware of his surroundings.

“Hey. Are you alright?” Erwin asked, feeling Armin’s stomach rumble underneath his hand. Armin said nothing as he buried his face against the man’s broad neck, and continued to groan softly with agony.

“He’s awake?” Levi questioned, wiping sleep out of his eyes.

“Yeah. I don’t think he’s aware of his surroundings, only that he’s in pain, and he’s responding to it.” Erwin answered, concerned for the child who looked a lot like he once did.

“Should we stop?” Levi wondered, and glanced around to make sure their surroundings were devoid of enemies.

“No. Just get closer, and help me with him. He’s still fevered, he’ll need water.” Erwin stated, while Armin squirmed against him to express his distress. Armin’s soft cries became loud after each time he quieted, and tensed. Levi goaded his horse to walk around Erwin’s horse, and to walk close alongside it. He then grabbed the canteen off of a strap, and twisted the cap.

“He’s holding his stomach. You should offer him some food.” Levi suggested, as he grabbed Armin’s chin, and tilted it up so the boy could receive the water. Armin’s eyes cracked open, exposing unfocused, tear filled iris’s.

“I already thought of that. Give him the water first.” Erwin stated, keeping a firm, but gentle hold on Armin because the kid kept shifting, and wiggling against him, wracked with pain and fever.

Hunger was a primal emotion, one most people felt, and reacted to, even in the midst of fever. Levi tilted the canteen, and let the water slowly splash against Armin’s chapped lips. Armin roused a little more as the cold water dribbled down his hot face. He weakly clutched the canteen with one shaky hand, and drank what he could of the refreshing water.

“What do you want me to feed him?” Levi inquired, knowing he would have to feed the poor brat if he didn’t regain proper awareness of his surroundings. Erwin’s arms were full, after all, with one at the reigns and the other around Armin’s waist. Levi had a arm free, which was why he had been delegated to pay attention to the kid. He wasn’t about to complain either, since he knew he could dodge if the boy decided to retch.

“Bread. He’s too weak to gnaw at potatoes.” Erwin responded, and wished he could do more for Armin. He wanted to be responsible for the boy.

“Figured.” Levi said, and pulled the canteen away when Armin recoiled to hunch in on himself. He groaned with pain and when the fit was over, he rested tiredly against Erwin. Levi shifted a bit, careful not to disturb Eren too much, and dug around in the small food bag that had really only been packed for the kids. Erwin and Levi were hardened soldiers who could endure a few days without proper meals. Each boy however looked as though they needed to be introduced to Mcdonald’s supersize menu.

“I’m concerned as to why he’s not asking for food. Is he too delirious, in a way he can not fully comprehend that he is hungry, or does he just not believe that anyone will feed him?” Erwin contemplated, as Levi broke the bread in half and then held it out towards the boy.

“Here.” Levi offered, and was mildly surprised to see some recognition and awareness flit through Armin’s watery eyes. Armin was focusing on the offered bread dazedly, with furrowed eyebrows. “Take it.” Levi coaxed, and waved the bread in front of Armin’s face. Armin blinked at the bread, and involuntarily drooled at the prospect of the wheat.

It seemed like an unattainable dream to him, one that he was not going to try to grab. The fever made him lethargic, and weak.

“He definitely wants it. He just won’t take it. What the fuck do I do now?” Levi queried, pulling the bread away from Armin. The response was almost instantaneous. Armin began to cry. Eren roused against Levi, sensing his friends distress.

“What’s that…Armin?” Eren spoke up as he woke, and definitely heard Armin cry. Alert now, Eren peered around Levi, saw the bread, and snatched it out of Levi’s hand. “Here Armin. You can have it.” Eren offered, clasping one of Armin’s hands over the bread. Armin tried to tighten his hold around the bread, but as soon as Eren wasn’t helping him, the bread slipped from Armin’s unsteady fingers. Eren caught the bread, and let Armin try again. “You can do it.” Eren coaxed gently, while both adults watched to see how this would play out.

Once more, even with his friends confidence, Armin was too weak to hold the bread for more then a few seconds. Eren tried to encourage Armin to keep trying, but the blonde just shook his head with defeat.

“Can’t…” Armin managed to say, and then started to sob. Even in his half-delirious state he knew that if he couldn’t eat, he would die soon. Eren sat back, at a loss of what to do. Levi sighed, and looked around the landscape for any signs of soft dirt.

“Hold my reigns and give it to me.” Erwin commanded, and took the bread. He bit off a chunk, chewed it to mush, and spit it out onto his hand. Levi stared with absolute disgust, and distractedly took the reigns. Eren was too busy trying to calm Armin down to pay much attention.

All he and Armin knew was that after a moment, Erwin was offering the mush to Armin. Armin just stared at the mush. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with it. “All you have to do is swallow, okay?” Erwin said in a soft voice as he carefully pushed the mush into Armin’s mouth. Armin would have colored red with shame, but right now, he was a child desperate to eat, and live, so he didn’t think twice as Erwin hand fed him.

In this time, Eren encouraged Armin to keep swallowing, and kept trying to reassure him that he was okay, and that he would live. Armin kept periodically breaking down, sometimes with sheer appreciation, obvious by the way he gripped Erwin’s hand and held it close to him, or by some thought that upset him. Eren kept coaxing Armin to speak, to talk to them, but Armin either couldn’t muster the energy to speak, he didn’t want to, or he was too unaware of why he was crying in the first place. No one was quite sure the reason for the heart-breaking cry sessions.

Both Levi and Erwin were glad to have Eren around, because Eren had a way with Armin. Eren’s voice kept penetrating through the fear, sadness and fever to goad Armin into eating and calming down.

“The kid is fucking traumatized.” Levi commented, as Eren pressed his forehead to Armin’s again, and cooed sweet nothings to him. Armin’s crying, sad as it was, was giving Levi a headache.

“He might feel better if we get him to lay down.” Erwin suggested, figuring a short rest might not be a bad idea. Armin kept slouching, and shifting against him, desperate for a different sitting position. Eren hadn’t said anything, but his back probably ached from how he had practically been glued to Armin’s side for a little over an hour.

“Fine. But if we let him lay around too much, it could become a death sentence.” Levi warned, halting the horse. He hopped off the horse, and went to stretch his legs out. Erwin carefully descended from the horse, and brought Armin with him. Armin groaned the entire time, stiff and sore. Eren lowered himself on to the ground, and was right by Erwin’s side, ready to dote on Armin again.

“That I am aware of, but he’s also a child and even though I had him ride as a princess would, he has to hurt a lot by now.” Erwin responded, and lowered Armin on to the ground. Armin did not bother to move. He was just glad the world was not moving anymore, that he could lay on solid, unmoving ground.

“We’re taking a short break and then we’re going to get you some help.” Eren promised Armin, and stroked his yellow hair softly. Armin looked up at Eren with the most clarity he had in over an hour.

“Don’t…don’t let them touch me…” Armin begged softly, though the others questioned who Armin was referring to. Armin still seemed a bit dazed, but Eren wasn’t about to question him. Eren just nodded and pressed their foreheads together again. Armin did not seem to mind the gesture as he shivered, and sweated on the ground.

“Food seemed to perk him up a little. I’ll give him some meat.” Erwin decided, knowing Armin needed to replenish a lot of lost and absent nutrients. He dug around in the food bag and pulled out a few pieces of dry jerky, and then sat beside Armin, who might have been slightly more aware, but he was exhausted.

“Oh. He’ll really like that.” Eren mentioned as he sat up, to let Erwin hand feed Armin. They didn’t have utensils. Armin looked to Erwin, and through his blurry vision, all he saw was blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin.

“Dad.” Armin cried, and desperately reached towards Erwin.

It was not the first time that Armin had mistaken Erwin for his father, and Erwin doubted that this would be the last time, since Armin was not likely to overcome the fever without proper medical attention and that was a day away.

“He’s not your Dad, Armin.” Eren corrected his friend, and then looked to Erwin who was chewing the jerky in his mouth. “I don’t think Armin has ever gotten over the death of his father. He admittedly looked like you, I guess.” Eren admitted, although Erwin had already guessed that Armin was fatherless since a father would not have allowed his son to be battered.

“Fevers can cause hallucinations.” Levi spoke up, sitting down next to Erwin. He leaned against Erwin’s sturdy body, and crossed his arms over his chest. Erwin spit the mush on to his left hand to allow him to speak freely.

“Where did Armin live when the soldiers occupied your village?” Erwin asked, more concerned with understanding Armin, as he already knew the damage fevers could inflict upon a person. Armin was definitely fevered, there was no doubt about that. For Erwin to help Armin, he wanted to know more about the child, who was reaching for him.

“At his grandfathers house. He lived with two soldiers, since his grandfather was shot by them, and a few years ago, he lost his parents.” Eren answered, and stroked Armin’s hair affectionately.

Erwin glanced grimly at Levi, who returned the grim stare. Armin had been orphaned, and had been a prisoner in his own home. At least one of the soldiers had to have abused Armin bad enough to coax Armin to poison him. Erwin remembered that was why Armin was almost murdered. He had been accused of poisoning a soldier. Neither adult wanted to imagine how lonely, and scared Armin must have been during the occupation.

“Daddy, daddy don’t leave m-me…I’m s-scared…” Armin whimpered pitifully, while fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. He sounded like a child, and not the teenager he was. The clarity he had gained had been brief, but the fever was playing with his emotions again. Eren opened his mouth to correct Armin, but Erwin held a hand up to him. Eren shut his mouth.  

“I am not leaving you, I am right here.” Erwin reassured Armin in a warm tone, as he cupped Armin’s wet cheek with his hand, and caressed it reassuringly. Armin immediately leaned in to the touch, craving the comfort and support that he thought only his father could give him.

“You’re going to indulge him?” Levi questioned, raising a curious eyebrow at Erwin. Eren watched as well, out of curiosity. Armin seemed very receptive to the caress. No one wanted to think the reason might be because Armin was starved of positive human contact.

“He won’t remember this if he regains lucidity.” Erwin explained, as Armin clasped his hand over Erwin’s, to hold it dear and tight to his face, as if he let go, the man would disappear. Levi looked away, hearing what Erwin didn’t say. It was possible Armin wouldn’t survive the trek to the city. That was a motivator for Erwin to indulge Armin’s daddy hallucination.

“Hold me, Daddy.” Armin pleaded, not aware of how irrational he sounded because fevers weren’t rational. Eren rested his fists against his knees tensely, as he watched his independent best friend regress to the mind of a young child, influenced by the fever, and what ever trauma he went through.

If Armin only heard himself, he’d be mortified.

“You’re not really going to—” Levi started, though his answer came in the form of Erwin shifting, and adjusting himself to take Armin onto his lap. Erwin scooped Armin up carefully, and pulled the trembling teenager against him. Armin hooked his arms around Erwin’s neck and buried his face against in the crook of the elder man’s warm neck.

“Eat this.” Erwin encouraged, since he had Armin’s attention again, and coaxed the food into Armin’s mouth. Armin reflexively bit down, not for the first time on Erwin’s fingers. Erwin maintain his sense of professionalism because Armin was too weak to actually hurt him.

“You just wanted to feed him. Figures.” Levi said that, but he was mildly impressed by Erwin’s gentle determination to keep the hopeless brat alive. It was not something Levi would have recklessly have done because while he didn’t want kids to die, he also understood the world was cruel and that bad things did happen. Armin must have understood that too, because he had been hurt.

“I’m cold…” Armin whimpered, curling against Erwin’s warm body as much as he could, to seek the body warmth out. Erwin indulged Armin, and held him close. Armin’s dirty, thin clothes wouldn’t offer him the warmth he was seeking. Eren seemed to know that too because he shifted closer to Armin, and wrapped his arms around him, sandwiching him.

“You’re okay, Armin. We’re going to get you through this.” Eren reassured the boy, and rubbed his shoulder soothingly. He was doting on his friend as much as he could because he had never seen Armin in a more raw, fragile state of being. Armin hadn’t even seemed to notice he had been fed a type of dried meat. He pressed his face against Erwin’s neck again, and trembled against him. He couldn’t get warm. Erwin noticed this too and sent a pointed look to Levi.

“Fuck no.” Levi stated, sitting up straight. He was not about to get close and personal with a sweaty brat. Erwin held his stare, and after a moment, Levi groaned as he relented, and joined the group hug. Armin’s shakes didn’t seem to quell, but Erwin and Eren were hopeful that they were making a bit of a difference.

“I’m going to die…” Armin cried, either from another bout of clarity, or a fever induced illusion. He shared the same concern that everyone else did. Erwin used one hand to stroke Armin’s hair, and face in short, soothing motions. Levi wouldn’t admit it, but he was impressed by Erwin’s fatherly capabilities, no matter how or why Erwin was motivated to help. He resolved then that for the moment, he could help to keep the little brat warm if that’s what Erwin insisted he do.

Together, they would keep Armin alive.

“We’re here for you, Armin.” Eren tried to assure Armin, as he rubbed his distraught friend’s back. If Armin heard him, he didn’t respond. He was crying softly from the fear, and overwhelming emotions brought on from the malnutrition and abuse he went through.

Erwin and Eren both repeatedly, in soft, gentle voices assured Armin that he was safe now, and that he was cared for. Armin leaned in to the sweet nothings, hanging on to every word he could. He still gravitated towards Erwin heavily, wanting a man’s comforting, platonic touch. It’s exactly what Erwin gave him. As Erwin continued to dote on Armin, Levi made a mental note to have sex with Erwin at their earliest convenience.

Maybe it was because Levi never had a father, but Erwin doting on Armin was pretty hot. Compassion was a strong suit of Erwin’s that Levi was fond of in more ways than one. Erwin didn’t seem to notice Levi’s intrigue, since he was concerned with making Armin feel good in what could be his last moments. The comfort and warmth Armin received from the adults, and his friend lulled him to sleep within moments.

The race against time resumed.


	9. Hospitalized Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin and Eren are hospitalized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that while in theory, the fanfiction takes place in Germany, and that I am aware their healthcare system is different then ours, I do not have succinct information to write about their hospitals, especially without first hand experience. So, I wrote everything from a Western point of view, including the police, media, and social worker. I actually know more about the police in Germany than I do any of the other topics I'm working with but I still chose the Western style to be safe. And while I know a great deal about our western hospitals, there are specifics that I do not know of, such as what the IV's or machine things are specifically called. I know their different uses though and that they more often than not help. So as you read this, do remember it's a fanfiction and I do not own the characters. 
> 
> I will point out here as well that Armin may seem rather emotional, but, if you remember what happened to him in the first few chapters, you then might understand why he'll be emotional for awhile. He hasn't had time to mentally process the abuse. He had to just survive and while there were short moments he broke down, there was always something more to then be done or sleep over came him. A lack of proper nutrition also will make a body cry, which he'll probably experience, even if I don't write it. He may be being monitored and doctored now, but the full extent of lost nutrition is re-introduced slowly, in ways specific to an individual. I couldn't say how long, nor could I assume what he would need to eat. Meat is obvious. Meat is protein for the brain. How much of it though, is debatable. Yeah, I've had nutrition classes. ;) 
> 
> All of Armin's conflicting and overwhelming emotions make him susceptible to Erwin's fatherly touches in ways Armin never would have been receptive before. I just want to point that out, and the bond they formed while Armin was sick adds to Armin's comfort level with Erwin because while Armin doesn't remember those dark times consciously, he subconsciously remembers them and that definitely has occurred before, although the subconscious is not something people understand completely. Scientists are working on it. 
> 
> There's more for me to explain when the chapter is over. Stay tuned~~

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 9: Hospitalized Potato**  

In the short time that Erwin indulged Armin’s fever-induced hallucinations of pining for a father that did not exist anymore, he found he played the role well. Erwin was mildly surprised, since he had thought that his humanity might have been murdered during the war, but fathering Armin during his time of need just seemed to come naturally to him. It was almost a shame that Armin wouldn’t remember any of it.

Through the endurance Erwin and Levi gained during their days of war, they reached the city within record time. Eren and Armin were admitted to the closest children’s hospital. That was when the questions, and panic began to set in. The true extent of Armin’s condition was revealed, and if none of that had been reason enough for the hospital to contact the police, the gunshot wound in Eren’s leg was. Erwin had no particular issue with the police themselves, but police were required to consult with Child Protective Services.

There would be an investigation, and if CPS had their way, the kids would belong to them before the day was through. The only kink in CPS’s plan was that there was literally no record of either boy ever existing in the first place. This created a lot of problems. Erwin and Levi swore by their story, while Eren collaborated it alongside them. Armin was the only one who could not divulge information, since he had been passed out since before they arrived in town. In the midst of his fever, none of his information would help at this point, anyways.

All that could be done, legally, at this point was that the cops, and CPS would pay Potato Town visit. If the town existed, and if the villagers corroborated Erwin’s story, Erwin and Levi would not be held responsible for the wounds present on the children. And if their story was true, the children would still fall into the custody of CPS. Erwin immediately petitioned to adopt both of the children, a process he could not even begin to do until their story was cleared, and the children became numbers instead of people.

For better or worse, Armin slept uncomfortably for three days. In his sleep, he tossed and turned, wracked with nightmares, and would occasionally call out for his father, and or Eren. He woke on the fourth morning. All around him were walls of white, which panicked him because the lack of color was not natural.

There were no walls of wood, and there was no colorful curtains or anything womanly in the room. Armin was in a cold, foreign place that made his heart rate quicken with rising fear. He then noticed different square machines that beeped. Some of the wires were even _in_ him. Armin panicked, and screamed. A hand clapped over Armin’s mouth instantly.

“Shhh. Shh. You’re okay, Armin. Shh.” Erwin shushed Armin gently, and pressed his other hand to Armin’s chest, in an attempt to stop Armin from struggling like the frantic child he was. Armin only thrashed harder, alert and terrified of the unfamiliar surroundings and technology he had never before seen in his life. There was a harsh white light that only startled Armin more, making him act out rashly. He was scared, and didn’t understand where he was or how he got there, and nor did he understand why he was here.

The last thing Armin remembered was being knocked out by the butt of a gun.

“Listen, you have to be quiet, otherwise they’ll hear you.” Erwin warned, keeping his tone calm, but firm. Armin froze, thinking about the soldiers who hurt him. He did not know of the nurses, police officers, and CPS officials who were all waiting for a chance to bombard Armin with questions and concerns. The fear the warning instilled into him shut Armin up. “We are in a herbalist’s home, one who has a lot of knowledge of how to help you.” Erwin said, making it a point to use terminology Armin would understand. “I call it a hospital, and the herbalists are referred to as doctors. The women assistants are called nurses. You’ll see them a lot, and although they may do things to you that you do not understand, I swear they are here to help you.” Erwin explained, while Armin’s harsh, rapid breath warmed his hand. Armin wrenched his head away from Erwin.

“Wh-what about the soldiers? And _what_ is _in_ me!?” Armin blurted, half shrieking from horror, and jerked his arms to emphasize his point. He was hooked up to various machines that recorded his heart and brain activity, one that administered a slow pain drip medication and another that fed his body nutrients. A passing nurse heard the boy shriek, and peered into the room.

“Oh my. He’s awake. I must inform the others.” She noted, and hurried off. Erwin rolled his eyes, irritated that a party of strangers were about to flood the room and scare the hell out of the poor kid. It was bad enough that the news media kept trying to infiltrate the hospital to gain information about the ‘wild’ kids.

“The soldier who wanted to execute you is dead. I shot him myself.” Erwin assured the panicked child, and gently pushed his arms down again so he would not stretch the chords. Armin remained guarded. “You’re hooked up to machines, which are a form of technology. They are all making you feel better so please do not pull them out.” Erwin answered, and caressed Armin’s face, to help reassure him that he was safe. Armin instinctively leaned into the soft touch, subconsciously remembering how much he had relied on that strong hand to give him comfort during the journey here.

Then Armin thought of how much a man’s touch had hurt him, and he recoiled away from Erwin’s hand fearfully. Erwin pulled his hand away, to respect Armin’s want of space. Armin slowly looked around again, and curled his shoulders inward, close to his body, cowering from the unfamiliar surroundings.

“I know this is a lot for you to take in, and while you may have more questions, you’re going to have to give people a lot of answers before you can receive any for yourself because in just a minute, a lot of people are going to want to talk to you.” Erwin told Armin, as he straightened his back out. Armin refocused on Erwin, listening to him. “I need you to talk to them, and answer them. You may feel overwhelmed, so just take a moment to breathe, and then tell them what they want to know.” Erwin restated, in an attempt to prepare Armin for what was coming.

A never ending array of personal questions.

“Can’t I just go home? I don’t want to be here. The light hurts my eyes, there’s _things_ in me, and I am hungry…” Armin said, wanting nothing more than to curl up in his own bed and hide away from the rest of the world. If the soldiers really were dead, he could be free at home, to man the fields without someone breathing down his neck and he could do his laundry at his own place. Eren could even sleep over at his home, and they could build a fire and lay around for hours on end, just talking like friends did.

“No. You must talk to them, and you must let them touch you. They are here to help you, and although they may crowd you, you just need to remember to breathe.” Erwin coaxed, since he could not stress this point enough. Armin opened his mouth to talk, but he clamped it shut as a man in white entered the room, followed by a woman who wore white. A professionally dressed woman entered the room after them, and Armin suddenly found himself surrounded by people he had never seen before. They all wore strange clothes, and some of them wore glasses. Then a person dressed in blue came in and Armin cowered back against the bed, and grabbed Erwin’s hand tightly.

Everyone had questions for him.

Others wanted to touch and assess him.

Each one introduced themselves—a doctor, a nurse, a social worker, a police officer, a news reporter, they were all present to learn more about Armin. The questions started slowly.

“What is your name?” The reporter, Jayne Fawn asked, before anyone could speak. She was armed with a notebook, and a pencil because cameras were not permitted in to a child’s room unless parents gave explicit permission for their child to be filmed. Since Armin did not have parents, the doctor was temporarily in charge enough to chase cameras away.

“…Armin Arlert...” He introduced himself with a soft voice as he stared at the foreign strangers with wide, overwhelmed eyes. There was too much information from the technology to the appearances of the strangers that he had not had time to mull over and make sense of in his head yet.

“How old are you?” Asked a social worker, interested in how she should approach Armin, based on what his age would be.

“F-Fourteen.” Armin answered slowly, stumbling over his words a little as he stared distractedly at a yellow badge on the police officer’s blue uniform. It resembled the stars he would see at night. What was a star doing on an outfit?

“Where do you live?” Was the police officer’s question, since he wanted to hear the answer from Armin himself. Eren, and the town had already corroborated Erwin and Levi’s story of Potato Town, but if Armin said anything different, the case could be reopened.

“Potato Town.” Armin informed them, curling inwards on himself, as if to shield his soft areas from their gazes. He got the impression that they all wanted to dissect him, and that was making him incredibly uncomfortable.

“…” The police officer and the social worker jotted the answer down, while the doctor, nurse, and reporter stared at Armin skeptically.

“That _is_ what the people called it…” The social worker, Rita Fellows confirmed to the skeptics, in a voice that made Armin uneasy. It sounded as if the strangers thought the town name was weird. Armin couldn’t understand why. Potato Town had always been called Potato Town.

“A lot of potatoes are grown there.” Erwin offered, recalling the fields of potatoes he had seen during his short time spent there. His explanation seemed to satisfy the skeptics in the room. Armin noticed the slight change in the room’s aura and sent a brief appreciative look to Erwin.

“Why potatoes? They don’t have any nutrition.” The doctor, Rick Oliver asked, more concerned about Armin’s diet than he was before. The nurse seemed to share this concern, judging from her frown.

“It was h-hard to grow anything else, and even harder to make other fruits and vegetables last through winter.” Armin responded, keeping to the center of the bed in a conscious effort to keep space between him and everyone else.

“That’s why it’s called a fridge.” Rita commented sarcastically, as she rolled her eyes.

“A…a what?” Armin inquired, withdrawing towards Erwin from the belittling tone of her voice. Erwin glared at her. _She_ shouldn’t even be here. This wasn’t a set.

“Now, now. There’s no need to take that tone with him. He can’t help that he was raised by primitive apes stuck in an abusive, misogynistic, patriarchal society of illiterate degenerates.” Jayne shushed with a dismissive wave of her hand. Erwin frowned and grit his teeth together with restraint. Armin hunched his shoulders a little more, and curled his legs closer to his body. He did not understand most of the terminology, but he was damn sure he didn’t like any of it. “And how many times did your father, mother, or brothers have sex with you?” Jayne questioned hastily, eager to confirm her suspicions that the backwoods village had been a thriving bed for incest and gun-toting republicans. Armin’s blue eyes widened like saucers at the question based accusation. The cop, John Charles looked at Armin. He too needed to know who hurt Armin, from Armin’s own account.

As much as Erwin wanted to strangle the bitch for making such a gross accusation, he merely clenched his hands into fists and kept quiet because he did not know how Armin grew up or who he was raised by. Erwin only knew what Eren had told him and even though Eren was Armin’s self-claimed best friend, Erwin too wanted to hear Armin’s story.

“They never hurt me!” Armin exclaimed, offended anyone would even assume that his parents had hurt him. He expressed a lot of emotions in his words, and those he couldn’t express were welling in the corners of his eyes in the forms of tears.

“They did hit you.” Rita stated disapprovingly, as if she, like Jayne, already knew everything there was to know about Armin, a kid from Potato Town.

“Wha—no!” Armin’s shout was met with skeptical looks. “I—I mean, maybe they spanked me once or twice…when I deliberately disobeyed them…but—” Armin stammered, stumbling over his words as the pressure of the stranger’s stares heightened, and made him too flustered to talk.

“—You _were_ abused by your parents, Armin. Physically and emotionally from the looks of it.” Rita insisted, as if there was nothing more to say on the manner. Armin’s hand tightened on Erwin’s as he began to feel cornered.

“NO!” Armin yelled, blinking furiously in a failed attempt to restrain the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. “My parents loved me, they just did not believe in the Potato Gods and then those colored men with swords came to our village and murdered them and—” Armin argued defensively, and emotionally as his parent’s memory was slandered by people who knew nothing of him and his town, but clamped his mouth shut as Jayne’s face darkened with explosive rage as she headed stormily towards him.

“Lies! The Muslims are a peaceful people. I will not have some privileged, wild, racist, hillbilly blame and slander them for anything so shut up you _stupid_ —” Jayne bellowed as she wagged a scolding finger in front of Armin’s face, who had backed up hastily which resulted in him falling against Erwin, as he cowered from her hostile approach. The only reason she wasn’t hitting him with her finger was because John had grabbed her arm, and had her somewhat restrained. Rita was tsking something about ‘ignorant racists breed racists’ and the nurse was stunned quiet, with her knuckles against her mouth.

“Everyone, out. Now!” Rick Olivers, the doctor shouted, since the questions were upsetting Armin. He now would have to stick the machines into Armin all over again, and doctor up the damage caused from them being ripped out of him in the first place. Armin had no notions of that as he cowered against Erwin with terrified, blue eyes that were impossibly wide.

“I am a social justice warrior and that racist brat needs to be educated and put in his fucking place. If these Muslims had attacked his town, it would have been featured on the news.” Jayne argued with the doctor, while Rita left, knowing when to quit when ahead.

“How could his town be featured on the news when nobody knew that the town existed in the first place?” Erwin challenged in defense of the boy who was stunned, and scared silent. “They’ve had little to no contact with the outside world. Why the hell would he make that up?” Erwin demanded, sick of this bullshit.

Even if Armin was some wild, primitive, ignorant, inherently racist hillbilly, he was still a child and could be taught to see the world in a new light. She needed to get off of her fucking high-horse and educate—not condemn a damn child. That was the point Erwin wanted to get across.

“He’s white.” Jayne responded, as if that was the most natural answer in the world. Erwin grit his teeth and curled a protective arm around Armin, who was shaking, and pale with fear. Skin color did not indicate underlying racism. Racism was a social construct that could be surveyed from the beginning of time from people of every shade of the rainbow. The lesson history taught was that people just weren't all that tolerant of those not within their direct social group and people like Jayne only exacerbated biogtry. Armin hadn't said anything wrong, yet she was attacking him. 

“That’s rich, coming from a cunt who betrayed her own country. Do you even know who they were? They had fucking families and you told on them.” Erwin growled, expressing a deep-seeded hatred for the woman. He did not know her personally, and while she had not wronged any of _his_ soldiers, she wronged other soldiers from a different time and place…and that was despicable. If she could betray her own country, what else was she capable of? 

“That’s it. I am calling security.” Dr. Oliver announced, and went to press the button, while the nurse fanned herself in an attempt to calm herself. The open hostility in the room was almost suffocating.

“I do not know what you are talking about.” Jayne simply said in a huff as she turned, and escorted herself out of the room.

“Oh gods.” Armin let out in a terrified sob, and clasped a trembling hand to his lips. He had never been confronted before in such a hostile manner. In the village, when people had disputes and a difference of opinion, they _talked_ about it. Armin had never been insulted, nor belittled in such a disparaging, abrasive manner before. He felt humiliated, and scared. _What…what did I even say_? Armin lamented to himself, feeling vulnerable and raw from his first encounter with a self-proclaimed social justice warrior.

“Fucking bitch.” Erwin cursed angrily, as he curled an protective arm around Armin’s tiny, shaking body. “Are you alright, Armin?” Erwin asked, forcing the anger out of his tone so he would not scare Armin more than he already was. With his other hand, he set it on Armin’s cheek.

That one question made Armin lose the last bits of restraints he had over his tears. He began to cry openly. He may not have understood a lot of the different terminology thrown at him, but he knew that the strangers looked down on him, and his town. They even seemed to think that he was a wild, stupid child, someone bad, someone who had deserved everything that had happened to him. The soldiers had treated him as if he had been less than human too.

“Put him back on the bed, and calm him there. Then, I need to hook him back up to the IV’s.” Dr. Oliver told him, and gestured to the bed with his hand. He needed to examine Armin, and talk to him about important medical questions he had, but he couldn’t do anything as long as Armin was inconsolable.

“It’s alright, Armin. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Erwin encouraged softly, as he hugged Armin gently, and then scooped him up. Armin shook his head skeptically, and continued to cry as he was placed on to the bed. Armin curled his legs up against his chest, and leaned heavily against Erwin, who curled a arm around his shaking shoulders.

“Th-then why do people keep attacking me?” Armin retorted with frustration through his sobs. He didn’t understand why people were hostile with him. They always had been, even when he was young, the village bullies always had something to say to him…but he’d rather encounter them than any of the bad adults he had met recently.

“About that. Who hurt you before?” Dr. Oliver asked, as he grabbed one of Armin’s arms, and stretched it out to reinsert the IV’s. Armin allowed the touch, and penetration only because he was distracted by Erwin’s gentle, soothing caresses to his face, that he liked more than he should since Erwin was a stranger to him. A nice man.

“S-soldiers. R-Russian…they…” Armin trailed off, and brought his bandaged hands close to his body as he thought of the laundry that would haunt his nightmares. He did not know how the women of the village managed to perform laundry for the entire house hold for years on end. Neither his mother, nor his grandmother had ever complained about raw, aching hands.

“Go on, Armin. It’s okay. You can tell him anything. He’s a doctor.” Erwin coaxed gently, as he smoothed back some of Armin’s hair.

“Rape. They called it rape. They…raped me?” Armin said uncertainly, feeling hot with embarrassment. He didn’t know if he was using the right term, and after that lady called him stupid, he really was uncertain of himself.

“Yes. What did they sodomize you with? The damage you sustained is not consistent with _just_ a penis.”  Dr. Oliver questioned, since the damage to Armin’s body had been extensive. Armin would be lucky if in the future, he could receive anal pleasure. Armin clammed up instantly, and looked away as his face reddened brighter, remembering the carrot.

“No.” Was all Armin said on the matter, as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. He had not told anyone about the carrot before, and had no inclination to. It was one thing he intended to keep a secret because he still could not believe what had happened to him. Oliver seemed to sense that he was not going to get anywhere with Armin so he decided to change questions to something lighter.

“Do you have any allergies?” Oliver inquired, since that was something crucial to know about Armin. Armin frowned with confusion, so Oliver restated his question. “Do you sneeze when you are outside for too long, or do you choke up if you eat specific foods like nuts? Or maybe you sneeze around dust or animals?”

“No. I don’t know anyone like that either.” Armin answered, as he slowly rubbed the tears off of his face. Erwin’s soothing touches were calming Armin into being cooperative with the doctor.

“Then what about vaccines?” Oliver wondered, though he was sure he already knew the answer. Armin shook his head back and forth. Oliver pursed his lips together, and tried to repress a sigh. “By your age, you should have had various vaccines.” Oliver said, wondering how many other children in Armin’s village were not vaccinated.

“That is a matter of opinion. There are those, Armin, who question just how beneficial vaccines are when a vaccinated child can still succumb to Whooping Cough.” Erwin mentioned, knowing that he would be the only one in this hospital who would tell Armin that sometimes vaccines did not work, and in other cases, they could be fatal, particularly to babies. Everyone else in the hospital would hail vaccines as a miracle drug, never mentioning they could fail.

It was unfortunate. Patients had a right to know what they were putting into their bodies, and what good _and_ harm the drug could do.

Oliver glared at Erwin. “We must take preemptive measures. When he has recovered, he’ll receive the vaccines, since he is in our custody.” Oliver stated firmly, believing in the power of medicine. Erwin withheld his next comment, aware he had no power over what did, or did not happen to Armin. Armin did not have the power to say no either, even if he wanted to.

“But I am not sick. No one in my village is sick either. We get a cough sometimes, but we’re healthy.” Armin said, not understanding vaccines, nor why the adults were at odds with each other over the unfamiliar word.

“That does not matter. We’ll discuss it later. For now, are you an orphan? Or do you have grandparents or maybe an aunt or a cousin?” Dr. Oliver asked, intent to educate Armin about the wonders of vaccines later. Erwin made a mental note to educate Armin about the dangers of vaccines later, and how SIDS sky rocketed when vaccines were introduced to the world. Armin wouldn’t be able to say no, even he was dissuaded from vaccines, but at least he would be aware of the potential dangers. The only bright side was that if Armin received a vaccine and began to feel sick, he, unlike a newborn baby, could alert people with words that something was wrong.

“No. I was trying to explain earlier that my parents died…and then sometime after that, I lost my grandparents, one after the other.” Armin explained tentatively, making it a point to leave out the whole story after he had almost been attacked for the truth the last time.

“Then you’ll most likely fall into the custody of Child Protective Services. They’ll take you to a foster home, where you’ll be housed until someone wants to adopt you.” Dr. Oliver told the boy, who frowned again.

“Who are they and what do you mean, ‘adopt,’?” Armin asked, becoming cautious of the doctor. If Erwin was at odds with him, should he be too? Erwin seemed to sense Armin withdrawing, and becoming guarded so he gave Armin a gentle nudge. He didn’t want Armin to distrust the man entirely. Most doctors meant well, after all.

“They are a group who rescues abused children from abusive, and or neglectful parents, or guardians. You’ll be safe with them, and eventually, you may get adopted.” Dr. Oliver informed Armin, who didn’t seem to like this idea. Erwin did not like the idea either, and instead of pointing out the dangers foster homes could present, he just stared at the doctor.

“I will adopt him.” Erwin stated, reminding the doctor with a firm voice. He had already discussed that with Oliver the very first day, and he was damn serious about protecting this kid from the world that had already hurt him.

“That would not be recommended with your job, and disinterest in science.” Dr. Oliver said, and half wondered why he had allowed Erwin to stay in the room this long. Erwin wanted to argue that he was not against vaccines, he, just like any normal, sane, rational person had concerns about them because of the available research.

If Armin was ever his child, he would present all available information to him, good and bad, and let Armin decide whether he wanted to be vaccinated or not. Erwin figured that would be the humane way to go about the situation, instead of forcing it on the kid. But, he had no legal rights over Armin, and he knew that if he said much else, he wouldn’t be allowed to see Armin at all, and that would not be beneficial to Armin. Erwin had to back down.

“We’ll see about that.” Was all Erwin said on the matter, since he was intent to adopt Armin. He still remembered how scared, and vulnerable Armin looked when he was being paraded around in front of the remaining villagers, who were about to witness his execution. Erwin remembered how Armin had clung to him, and had cried on him, in a fever induced state.

Even now, evidence of that bond was in the way Armin did not recoil from all of Erwin’s soft touches. Armin had even flung himself against Erwin when the woman had scared him.

“I just want to go home.” Armin spoke up, grabbing Erwin’s hand again, for the comfort, and reassurance he wanted. “The light hurts my eyes, and all of this white is unnerving. If this is supposed to be a place of recovery, where’s the green and blue?” Armin pointed out, since he couldn’t understand why anyone ever would have made everything in this room lack color. Armin was not whining, he was just being honest about his discomfort.

“Your eyes are sensitive?” Dr. Oliver inquired, and jotted the newfound information down.

“No. I’ve never had problems with my eyes before. It’s just this white light. It’s harsh.” Armin insisted, making it a point to not look up at all. He still felt the strain, though. Erwin brushed some of Armin’s hair out of his face again, and tucked it behind his ear.

A knock on the door made them all look towards the door. “Doctor? I think you’re going to want to see this.” The nurse from earlier, Kelly said as she headed into the room, carrying a paper. Dr. Oliver took the paper and looked it over.

“This changes everything.” Dr. Oliver muttered, and looked at Erwin and Armin who obviously shared some type of bond. Erwin and Armin both stiffened, becoming guarded and tense.

“Is…is it about me?” Armin questioned apprehensively, feeling uncomfortable with the way he was being looked at.

“We came across it by accident, and checked it three different times. DNA does not lie.” Kelly insisted, and looked to Erwin and Armin. Armin shifted back a little against Erwin, unsure of what was going on. He just instinctively sensed that Erwin would protect him. Dr. Oliver sighed with irritation. He straightened then, and looked at Erwin and dawned a more professional tone, as if seeing him in a new light.

“How did you two meet?” Dr. Oliver asked, taking a renewed interest in the two. Armin looked to Erwin for an answer.

“When my subordinate and I were separated from the rest of the group, I saw this one, and his friend in the other room—” Armin straightened, perking up at the mention of Eren—“on the mountain. They were searching for a flower, and then headed home. We followed them to the village, and saw it was occupied by the Russian forces. We kept out of sight until the morning, where I then rescued Armin.” Erwin explained, and noticed surprise flicker through Armin’s eyes.

“You never visited that village before?” Dr. Oliver questioned skeptically, though he forced himself to retain a sense of professionalism about him. Erwin’s eyebrows raised with realization.

There could only be one reason as to why the doctor was suddenly interested in how they met. Erwin sat on the edge of the bed, and curled a arm around Armin’s waist, and pulled him close. “I did, about fourteen years ago.” Erwin answered, wrapping another protective arm around Armin. Armin grabbed at Erwin’s hands, knowing he should be uncomfortable that a stranger was touching him, but he wasn’t.

“You wanted him, you got him.” Dr. Oliver muttered, and presented the paper to Erwin. Armin craned his head up, and peered at the paper. There were a lot of large words he could not understand, and symbols he had never seen before. Erwin did recognize every word and symbol.

Erwin suddenly believed in fate, and God.

 

Optional Ending Notes

Lesse....who watched TomorrowLand? In the beginning, George Clooney is presenting a mental image of the future, which can be, as he says, scary, while his friend, Casey, keeps trying to rudely interrupt him and shut him up because she wants the future to be presented as sunshine and rainbows...with my fanfiction, I refuse to be Casey, and no, it has nothing to do with optimism. I am a very optimistic person...but at the same time, I recognize that there are dangers in this world. You could say I am a realistic optimist. So, while science has progressed alot since the dark ages where they legit used arsenic as a treatment (arsenic is a deadly poison. what doctors seriously ever thought even for a moment that arsenic was a good idea? But this was a medical treatment and it was fact and it was trusted. Maybe not everywhere and maybe not well known but there were other huge, fatal mistakes like this before, like blood-letting. ) That said, I absolutely refuse to listen to anyone who says that this treatment or that treatment is 100% safe because nothing ever is. There are always risks and I believe we all have the right to know about these risks, that way we can determine what we are putting into our body. And that's why I had Erwin mention the realistic truth of the matter that vaccines do have risks we need to acknowledge, which any doctor bristles at, because they're all like Casey, and I do resent people like that. Now, I'm not against vaccines. That's not the message, here. Knowing there are risks, being aware of them, none of that is the same as being an anti-vaxer. In the next chapter, there will be a small scene where Armin makes his choice behind a closed door, because I want to stress the point that people should be able to choose what they want to do with their body. To emphasize choice, and to refrain from pushing either political propaganda on readers, even I won't know what choice Armin takes. We can all then decide for ourselves what choice he made. 

Now, that said, my inspiration to write characters of various political affiliations, and religious or lack there of stems from the fact that to write characters, one has to write people, and people have many different beliefs and lack there of. This is emphasized in the anthropology class, where it is important that as educated people, we do not look down on another for living differently than us because at the end of the day, we're all people. This is something I want to try to show with Armin and Potato Town. Like, yeah. It sounds totally crazy, at first, that, anyone would worship a potato. It's also crazy that people would worship a pedophile. But. Instead of judging, it's our job to at least try to be tolerant, yeah? And for all of the feminists out there, Poly...polyography? The point is, is that in secluded areas of the world, there are a few societies where women literally have 3 or more husbands, and they (the woman) are the center of the house and do everything that a man does in the rest of the world. Look it up if you wanna write some empowering female message about it. They're kinda cool. It's featured at least in one of those documentary things, on youtube, but I'm sure there's articles about it. The point of mentioning it though is that all over the world, people live differently, and that's okay. Are those woman religious? I don't remember. Okay, so, exposure to different ways of life is good for us. So here's Armin from a rural village that had been isolated from modern society for like, ever. Then there's Jayne who just wants to label everyone, and attack those that don't instantly conform to "modern" "proper" society. Jayne would be considered "ethnocentric" except she also cares just "oh so much" about "underprivileged" children that suddenly her ethnocentrism would be overlooked by many. She is one face of the modern Social Justice Warrior.

I am aware that some Social Justice Warrior's are actually fighting for people's rights, and that I admire and respect. However, I do not like Jayne's type, which seems to be spreading like a plague. And while we're on the topic, a lot of people seem to think that I "enjoy" writing rape, or that I simply hate Armin. Can I dispel these offensive accusations for the hundredth time? I do not enjoy writing rape. I've explained why I do just recently through the comment section on one of my fics. I do not hate Armin. I love him. He's my favorite character. Can I also point out that almost anyone who writes Levi/Eren writes rape? Eren has been raped in fanfictions so much more, and worse, than anything I've done. :/ So can we tone the accusations down, please? I am a writer of fiction. Let's leave it at that and not try to over analyze it. 


	10. Overwhelmed Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin tries to be understanding of Armin and give him space, and the freedom he needs as an individual, while also trying to be there for him when he does need him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens in this chapter. 
> 
> Erwin and Levi find a moment alone to have smex~~

**Attack on Titan**

**Chapter 10: Overwhelmed Potato**

What was a miracle? Some people referred to it as a coincidence, but what was a coincidence? And just how far would people go to deny what was right in front of them? Erwin had grown fascinated by science, and history. He may have been on the football team, and had been King at prom, but his heart kept drawing him towards books that contained both the history of the world, and science. It was not until his college years that he learned how to dissect a book, and catch pity-ploys, and dogmatic sentences.

He had not thought much of his philosophy class at the time, but what that class presented to him was that religion was not the enemy of science. There were moments in history where religion and science had opposed each other, but religion continued to further science. Religion, the insane belief that there was something or someone superior to humans. Erwin would not deign to insinuate that he knew the secrets of the universe.

For all he knew, there could be one God or many gods. These gods could even be aliens. He did not know, and he did not specifically care, but for him, that piece of paper was evidence that there was a higher power in the world.

Maybe it was just a matter of the power of thoughts—Erwin wanted Armin, he got Armin.

“I guess your Potato Gods do exist after all.” Erwin told Armin, as a proud smile spread across his face. This little child was _his_ after all, and he was _perfect_. _Just wait until Levi hears. I know how he never wanted children_. Erwin mused, and held Armin close to him, as if he was the most precious boy in the world. Armin sensed the change in Erwin, and while he didn’t completely understand the newfound affection, he did not flee from it. No one had held him as if he mattered in a long time. And as long as Erwin was entertaining his traditional belief, Armin did not want to chance making him mad, even if he was a bit uncomfortable.

“Entertaining his misguided beliefs is not advised either.” Dr. Oliver advised, since Armin’s potato beliefs were pretty fucking crazy as far as modern society was concerned. Armin frowned at the doctor, feeling belittled again.

“Right now, I feel it’s better to try to understand him.” Erwin responded, and thought back to the first moment he had seen Armin on the mountain. He had knew then that Armin subtly resembled him, with his fair skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. Erwin could already tell that if Armin wasn’t so thin, his body shape would have been stocky like Erwin had always been. The rest of Armin seemed to loudly resemble his mother. That pudgy nose was all her, and it was fucking adorable.

_Then understand this is all a bit much for me_? Armin wanted to say, as he idly picked at his hands, out of a nervous habit. He was bothered by how intimate the hug and touches had become. Armin was not scared of the touches, nor was he disgusted like he had been very time Igor had touched him. Erwin was not going to molest him. Armin was almost sure of that. But because of Igor, Armin feared he would always have a grain of doubt flitting about his head so he kept watching Erwin’s hands.

“Do as you will, then. I’ll return in a few hours to check on him. See to it he doesn’t remove the IV’s, and if he has to pee, there’s a pan.” Oliver announced, and left to compile the new information he had about Armin, and to mull on how the investigation the police conduced on Erwin was responsible for the reveal of the DNA match. Erwin’s DNA had been taken, alongside Levi’s.

Neither of their DNA was anywhere on Armin that it wasn’t supposed to be. The nurse, Kelly, had stumbled across the discovery by accident when she snooped around to see what Erwin’s relation was to Armin and had seen the blood type that was the same, and then the intricate DNA.

“You’re rather quiet. Are you okay, Armin?” Erwin wondered as Oliver shut the door, leaving them in the room together alone. Armin shifted uncomfortably, and thought of pulling away him, but decided against it. He didn’t know how Erwin would respond to it, but in his experience, people tended to react violently towards him. Jayne. Brois. Boris had fucking sodomized him when he was mad at him. Armin didn’t want to make Erwin mad. Not at all.

“Well…I…I…I don’t really know what the paper said. I—I can read a bit…but…there were a lot of words I didn’t recognize…” Armin answered nervously, and hoped beyond hope that Erwin wouldn’t make him feel stupid for not being able to properly read the paper.

Back in the village, Armin had been among the few who could read at all. Here, Armin felt stupid, and that stressed him out because he had been thought of as clever before. The villagers often told him to stop wasting his time with books and thoughts. In that way, he had been a bit of a weird child, but now, he didn’t seem to know enough which made him weird here too.

“Oh. You and I share the same blood. This means that I am your biological father.” Erwin informed the fidgeting child that was his. He brought Armin even closer, pressing them against each other with more affection. Armin gasped audibly, and tensed. Erwin heard the alarm in Armin’s voice and loosened his hold on him considerably.

“There must be a mistake. My parents are dead.” Armin protested, breathing a little easier now that there was a little bit of space between them.

“Your mother’s name was Serena, and she was known for her vibrant yellow hair and tiny waist. She had thick hair and big, blue eyes. As happy as she was, she didn’t like people to tease her about her pudgy nose.” Erwin characterized from memory, and felt Armin tense against him again. Armin twisted around, to stare at Erwin with Serena’s big, blue eyes.

“How do you know any of that?” Armin asked, unable to hide how bothered he was that a stranger knew so much about his deceased mother.

“It’s as I said. I was separated from my training mates fourteen years ago, and when I came upon your village, she welcomed me with curious arms. Serena was a lovely girl. I was tempted to stay with her, but I already had my life. I left three days later, never expecting she would become pregnant.” Erwin recalled the fond memory, of when he met the lovely women who had tempted him to live a quiet, mundane life. Erwin hadn’t been ready then, and had returned to a reckless, dangerous life of training to lead a rebellion.

But now with the war coming to an end, Erwin was entertaining the choice he left behind. Armin was his child. His body helped to create a little human being. Erwin was more fascinated in the idea than he ever had been before. Children had always been innocent and cute but they hadn’t been one of his. Armin was fucking perfect because he was _his_. The kid also kept Serena’s memory alive, which Erwin appreciated, in a platonic way.

“Y-you’re…you’re telling me that my mother was a slut.” Armin blurted, shocked that he was hearing his mother spoken about in such a way. He knew his mother wasn’t perfect. She and his father did not worship the potato gods and had paid for that with their lives. But surely, she didn’t have sex before marriage? And especially not with a stranger.

“No. We—” Erwin began, then stopped as he realized there was no easy way to tell Armin this in a way that he could understand, and be okay with it. Armin had been raised in a traditional village, where men and woman married each other and had for generations. Erwin had gathered that much from Eren. The boys had not had any concept of homosexuality either, until the soldiers came, and because of what they went through, Erwin wasn’t sure how either of them would feel towards gay people.

Since Armin already had a lot to learn, Erwin decided to try a different approach with Armin, one that did not yet include educating him about women’s sexual liberation. That could be a future lesson.

“We loved each other, and I would have married her but I had a duty to my land. Your mother is not to blame.” Erwin explained in the only way he knew how to placate some of Armin’s concerns. Armin shifted uncomfortable upon hearing the new information.

“But…but she loved Dad…and she…she never…” Armin stammered, struggling to comprehend the fact that his mother had not waited for marriage, nor had she even stayed with the man she fornicated with. What it also meant was that both of his parents lied to him for years. It meant that his father who died was not his real father. Erwin could see that Armin would need some time to himself to sort his thoughts out, so he shifted off of the bed.

“I am sorry, Armin. Life is not a fairy tale.” Erwin stated as he clasped a sympathetic hand on Armin’s shoulder. Armin turned away from Erwin and wrapped his arms around himself. “I’ll return to you in a little while. Just please try to understand that your mom isn’t a bad person.” Erwin said, and left the boy with his thoughts.

As a father, there were times he knew he would be required to comfort Armin, and there were times where he would need to let Armin have his space. Erwin recognized this was one of those times. He headed into the waiting room where Levi was sitting on a hard, uncomfortable chair. Levi had one leg crossed over the other, while his arms were crossed against his chest. He didn’t like waiting.

“Fucking finally.” Levi exclaimed as he clambered stiffly out of the chair, aching and sore. “I’m fucking starving. Feed me.” Levi demanded, and headed straight for the doors, eager to get the hell out of here. Erwin chuckled and followed after Levi, then stopped, realizing that Armin might be hungry.

“Wait. I’ll be right out.” Erwin promised, and headed right back into the hallway, despite how Levi loudly complained that he ‘said that last time.’ He went to the room that Armin was occupying and peered inside. He saw a trembling lump underneath the thin white sheet, and heard soft cries. Erwin debated on whether to bother Armin or not. He could always surprise him with food, but he also might not want anything from him right now. “Armin—” The boy froze, “—Are you hungry?”

A few sniffles sounded. Erwin wasn’t sure if Armin was going to answer him or not. Then, Armin did speak. “I…I am hungry…” His voice was soft and quiet, but Erwin heard him just fine.

“I’ll get you something to eat, then.” Was all Erwin said out of respect for Armin’s need to be alone, and went back to the waiting room where Levi was standing impatiently near the exit door. “I thought you were with Eren anyways.” Erwin spoke first, as he followed Levi who turned to leave outside.

“He pissed me off.” Levi responded, heading straight for Erwin’s dinosaur of a jeep. “And if this shitty jeep breaks down one more time…!” Levi swore irritably as he opened the passenger side door and clambered into it. Erwin ‘tsked’ and shook his head back and forth as he opened the driver’s door.

“This ‘shitty’ jeep is all metal. If we were to get into an accident with any of the modern cars, we’ll be squashed. Why do you think the death rates are so high? People are riding around in plastic carts with wheels.” Erwin retorted as he lifted himself into the jeep and then shut the door.

The trusty jeep could travel almost any terrain, endure most storms, and endure most potential car crashes. It was made of real fucking metal. Erwin was intent to keep it, as the jeep would potentially protect them from bullets as well. It was an heirloom that had even ran in Erwin’s family, and sometime after Erwin began to rebellion, he updated the glass windows into being tinted bulletproof windows which also doubled to keep some of the sun out of the jeep.

“Whatever. We could have air conditioning, seat warmers, and the radio right now.” Levi muttered bitichly, as he crossed his arms across his chest and looked out the window. He hated brats, he hated hospitals, he hated sitting around and doing nothing.

“Well, we might have to buy a second car.” Erwin suggested experimentally, thinking about how while the jeep would hold Armin in the back, there would then suddenly be very little room for groceries to stock the house with. Then there was Eren to think about too. At this point, Eren would be taken under CPS’s governance. Erwin had a feeling that the boys did not want to be separated any more then they already were.

“Finally. I want seat coolers and a new AR-15.” Levi announced, having no notion that Erwin was leading up to something. He was uncomfortable in the city, and thought of the freedom he had during war and wondered if Erwin had any plans to go back and lead the charge. Erwin already had Levi send messages to the group to inform them they were alive, had gotten separated, and had gotten held up.

“You’re not getting your toy as long as Armin could be a danger to himself, or others so forget about it.” Erwin refused, paying attention to the road as he drove defensively. Levi turned to Erwin, his eyebrows furrowing with confusion.

“What does he have to do with me getting a weapon to hang on the wall?” Levi asked, completely perplexed that Erwin was even mentioning Armin. Erwin decided to be frank with Levi.

“Today I found out that biologically, Armin is my son.” Erwin informed Levi, who stiffened in the seat. “And I intend to raise him.” Erwin added, so Levi would understand in no uncertain terms that Armin was going to be joining their little family. Levi stared at Erwin for a long moment, shocked by the information and what that would mean for their relationship together. He saw the resolve, and determination in Erwin’s eyes that let him know he already made up his mind.

“I’m not ready for our sex life to be over.” Levi admitted, knowing everything would change the moment Armin stepped into their house. Armin would probably have a fucking heart-attack if he ever caught them having sex, which was a reality they were both aware of.

“Neither am I. I am sure we can find ways to still be together.” Erwin assured his lover, and was relieved that Levi was in a good enough mood to not argue with him on the matter. He turned the car into an abandoned parking lot, where a Borders used to be operational. Levi rose an eyebrow at Erwin.

“Why the fuck did you turn in? I want food.” Levi griped, not seeing anything of interest in the parking lot. Erwin parked the jeep, and unbuckled himself—the seatbelts had been installed a few years ago since seatbelts were mandatory.

“Shut up and get over here.” Erwin goaded, and pat his lap. Levi realized what Erwin was insinuating and unbuckled himself. He _definitely_ wanted this. Levi shifted on to Erwin’s lap, and straddled him, since Erwin was too big for them to comfortably have sex in the jeep any other way. Not that either of them had a problem with it.

“Mmm. Food can wait.” Levi decided, and pressed his lips to Erwin’s. Erwin hummed against the kiss and slid his hands underneath Levi’s shirt, feeling his warm chest. He flicked his thumbs over Levi’s nipples and pinched them teasingly. Levi made a noise and continued to kiss Erwin, flicking his tongue against his.

Both of them knew they couldn’t play with each other for more then a minute, since if they were caught, they could be fined, or in a worst case scenario, taken to jail for public nakedness. The dark tint on the side doors partially hid them, but if anyone went snooping, they could see something. Erwin and Levi began pulling at each others clothes, enough to pull Levi’s pants clean off of his body. Levi reached into Erwin’s pants and pulled his cock out.

“Let’s be quick, though. Armin’s hungry.” Erwin commented, and spit on to his hand, then rubbed the spit on to his dick to lubricate it. Levi rolled his eyes at the mention of Armin, and then kissed, and bit at Erwin’s neck affectionately. Erwin then took a moment to prepare Levi, stretching him out with spit coated fingers.

“Fuck me.” Levi whispered against Erwin’s ear, and began to lower himself onto Erwin’s cock that he knew so well. He eagerly penetrated himself on Erwin’s dick, letting it fill him up. Erwin moaned and thrust up into Levi. It’d been too long since they had been together like this, and now that they could be together, they both took advantage of it and fucked.

Their hot breath and rapid movements steamed the jeep up, making the warmth almost unbearable. Neither of them complained, even as they began to sweat. Erwin kissed Levi, and repeatedly thrust into him while Levi rocked his hips against Erwin’s. Levi was short, and flexible, which allowed him the freedom to move how he wanted to on Erwin.

When they climaxed, they rested against each other and panted. Erwin strained to roll down the window to let some fresh air in to the jeep. Levi kissed Erwin and settled against him, pleased as punch that he got to be with his lover. Erwin rubbed Levi’s sweaty back.

“Will you play nice with Eren now and see how he feels about living with Armin?” Erwin inquired, having decided that he would have to adopt Eren. He didn’t see a way around it. There was also that oriental girl from the village, who stuck out like a sore thumb, but she was safe there in the village for now.

“What do you mean?” Levi asked, as he pulled himself off of Erwin and settled down in the passenger seat.

“I want to adopt Eren.” Erwin responded, as he cleaned himself up, and then fixed his pants. Levi paused.

“Isn’t one brat enough for you?” Levi groaned with exasperation, since he couldn’t quite muster a angry tone after the great sex they had.

“It’s not about that, Levi. I don’t want to separate them from each other. No matter how hard we try, we’ll never understand Armin, nor what he went through. The only one who could possibly understand is Eren. I want to keep them together.” Erwin explained, as he started the jeep up. Levi sighed, and folded his arms across his chest unhappily.

“Fucking fine. I just hope you know what the fuck you’re doing.” Levi muttered, and rested his head against the window.

. . .

When Erwin returned to Armin’s room, the little blonde was looking around with red, puffy eyes. He must have cried quite a bit, which was to be expected after finding out his whole life had been a lie. Armin looked over at Erwin, and furrowed his eyebrows at seeing a colorful box with yellow arches on it, that Erwin held.

“Still hungry?” Erwin inquired, and held the box out to Armin. Armin stared at it cautiously.

“It…it doesn’t _look_ like food…” Armin muttered, as he pushed himself up into a sitting position and winced. Erwin frowned.

“Are you in pain?” Erwin asked, noticing Armin’s discomfort. Armin nodded. “Here. Open that. There’s food inside. I’ll see if anyone can get you some more medicine.” Erwin said, and set the box on the bed before he turned and left the room. Armin grabbed the box, and fidgeted with a little, being cautious of his hands.

Everything fucking hurt, but Armin wasn’t going to express the sheer extent of his pain to strangers. No one had cared before, and he wasn’t about to make anyone think lesser of him than they already did. Armin was used to pain, and would endure. He managed to open the box and looked inside. There was another small box, and a red container with golden arches on it.

_Is he sure any of this is edible_? Armin wondered, and plucked a warm, long yellow French fry from the red container. Armin tentatively popped it into his mouth and tasted salt, and potato. “Mmmm…” Armin moaned, and sucked the salt off of the potato. Salt was a treasure. He popped a few more French fries into his mouth and wanted _more_. Armin then carefully pried open the other box, and spotted small, golden brown nuggets. He scrunched his eyebrows at them, having absolutely no idea what they were, or could be.

In all honesty, he was scared to take a bite of the foreign food. Since he liked the potatoes so much, he finally relented and nibbled off of the chicken nugget. Another small moan left Armin’s lips. He munched away on the chicken nuggets and French fries and intended to eat all of it. He became full after a few bites, and set everything down on the nightstand, feeling disappointed he couldn’t eat all of it. He then looked to the door, hearing footsteps. He expected Erwin, but instead, a short, dark haired man entered the room, carrying a…well, Armin wasn’t sure of what it was.

“Hey. Erwin forgot the drinks were with me.” Levi mentioned, and held the cup out to Armin. Armin stared at it and then looked at Levi cautiously. “What are you staring—right. You don’t remember. I’m Levi. Erwin’s right hand man. Together, we saved your happy ass from public execution.” Levi introduced himself, and set the drink on the table.

“Your…friends?” Armin inquired tentatively, drawing in on himself. He had met so many people and most of them had not been kind to him. Levi opened his mouth to refute the statement, then thought better of it.

“Yeah, Kid. We’re friends. Now drink up. I bet you’re thirsty.” Levi said, and gestured with his hand to the drink. Armin glanced at it.

“I…I don’t know what you want me to do with it. It’s not…it looks like a cup, but it’s not…there’s something on it…a lid?” Armin murmured, thrown off by the lid, and the straw. Levi rolled his eyes and swiped the cup u. He pulled the lid off, and tossed it, and the straw into the nearby garbage can. He then held it out to Armin.

“Drink it and like it.” Levi told the boy, who slowly took the cup in his shaky, bandaged hands. Armin looked into the cup, seeing a dark liquid, and clear cubes. “You’re in pain?” Levi noticed, standing straighter. Armin glanced at him.

“Uh, yeah…Erwin said he was going to talk to someone about it…” Armin responded, and took a slow sip of the sugary drink. Armin’s blue eyes lit up with joy. He instantly thought that he was drinking liquid joy.

“Ugh. He’s wasting his time. They’ll never give you anything to dull your pain. Fucking assholes.” Levi griped, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He knew the extent of Armin’s injuries, and the kid required morphine, not fucking Tylenol. _He’s probably receiving Children’s Tylenol_.  Levi thought bitterly.

“…Isn’t that what they’re supposed to do?” Armin questioned, recalling how Erwin said this hospital was akin to a Herbalist’s house.

“Tch. No. Doctors constantly hand out hard drugs to their known drug addicts, but any time someone actually needs those hard drugs for pain relief, suddenly there is none to be given away and you’re looked at as if you’re an addict even though your arm has obviously been blown off. Fucking assholes in government think they know better then a doctor don’t help anyone either…” Levi ranted, and angrily headed for the door, leaving Armin perplexed.

In the village, if someone was in pain, they received the most potent herb the village could provide. Armin was concerned now that this place was subpar to the village’s herbalists and wanted to go home all over again. Alone again, Armin drank the wonderful drink, and tried not to focus on how much pain he was in. Within a few minutes he had to set the drink down and let his hands rest.

And when Erwin did return, he sat down next to him and gently, but firmly explained the pro’s and con’s of modern medicine to him. Armin listened, having little, if anything else to compare Erwin’s words to. Erwin stressed the point that if Armin wanted to receive vaccinations, he would sign off on it, and he would support him, and if he did not want to be pumped full of potentially harmful chemicals, Erwin would respect his wishes, and would support, and protect him. Armin was relieved that he had Erwin’s support and permission to choose whichever way he wanted to.

This was something the doctor was going to press, Armin understood that. He was already overwhelmed with everything else, but this was something that required his attention. That much was understood. A part of Armin didn’t think it was fair to be forced into a corner about this, since he didn’t understand much that was even going on around him. But with Erwin’s support, he felt that even if he made a mistake, Erwin would help him through it.

Then Erwin introduced Armin to technology in the form of _the laptop_. Erwin had brought it from home, and used the most simplistic terminology he could to explain the computer to Armin, and to help him to not be afraid of it. Armin was overwhelmed by the computer, and wasn’t sure what to think of it. He stared at it with wide eyes, and remained rather still.

For the rest of the night, Erwin showed Armin pro-vaccination websites, and anti-vaccination websites. He tried to explain that it was important to know who was writing the article and why, and that credentials mattered. He knew Armin wouldn’t understand even half of it for awhile, but Armin did try to understand what he could. Armin easily became frustrated throughout the night, as he began to realize there was so much about the world around him that he didn’t understand.

Each time Armin became upset and overwhelmed, Erwin paused, and took time to calm him, and comfort him. They would then return to their research, because the topic of vaccines was too important to not research extensively. Late into the night, Armin fell asleep against Erwin, mentally exhausted. Erwin closed the laptop and left to collect Levi and go home for the night.

In the morning, Oliver returned to pump Armin full solely of the benefits of vaccinations, and expressed in no uncertain terms that Armin was a horrible person if he did not accept them. Armin absolutely hated how he was being belittled and bullied over the vaccines. Just last night on the internet he saw both sides brutally attack each other for being ‘ignorant’ or ‘anti-science’ or every other spectrum of the hate-speech dictionary.

It wasn’t even like anyone ever got sick in the village. Still, for better or worse, Armin was in a completely new world where apparently, everyone was sick, and they were getting sicker and sicker. Things like germs and allergies existed, and science was more dogmatic than religion, which was a concept Armin understood even less then science.

The only comfort was that if Armin did decide to be vaccinated, the treatments would not begin until he had gained a considerable amount of weight. It made Armin’s choice easier. He then made his choice known to the doctor, having heard everything he could hear on the matter. And when Erwin was allowed to come back into the room, Armin confided his choice to him and cried, expressing his frustration with the entire vaccination thing, and how awful strangers kept making him feel from Jayne to Oliver. Erwin was there for Armin, and comforted him. Erwin knew there would be many days and nights like this to come.

In an attempt to further cheer Armin up, especially after the questionable breakfast he was served, Erwin introduced Armin to the television in the corner of the room, and showed him the remote. Armin set a hand on his head, feeling overwhelmed with the technology overload. Erwin was patient, and helped Armin to at least to some degree understand the television and how to use the remote.

“Televisions are books with pictures.” Erwin had said, but Armin still was shocked and was a bit fearful of the television.

“Are you sure the box did not imprison people?” Armin had responded.

That was during the morning. It was afternoon now, and the educational game show had ended, and Erwin was gone, seeking lunch out with Levi. Armin had made him promise to bring back that box from yesterday. The television show changed, and a news channel came on. Armin was glued to the box with the flashing lights, more out of a curious horror than anything else. He still wasn’t completely convinced that the people weren’t stuck in the television.

Nothing really caught his interest until he recognized a familiar face. He felt as if his heart had jumped into his throat with fear.

Jayne Fawn was on the television, and was speaking to another person. They were sitting in large, ugly black leather chairs. The other person introduced themselves as Thomson Minguku, and he had darker features sort of like Levi, but his skin was considerably a brownish yellow unlike Levi’s ashen skin. Armin didn’t pay much attention to him, though, the way he hadn’t been attentive to many other people who had been featured on the television.

“Good afternoon, Thomson. I promised you one riveting story, and I intend to tell you all I know about one of the backwoods wild children who were rescued from a backwater town nestled in the basin.” Jayne greeted with eager enthusiasm, clearly thrilled to be in front of a camera again. It was obviously where she felt comfortable—being the center of attention.

“Don’t keep me waiting. I want all of the gruesome details, as do my viewers.” Thomson goaded, appearing just as eager to receive high ratings for his talk show as she was to divulge the information. “Was he a hillbilly? Did he not understand basic social cues? Or was silenced by rural stupidity?” Thomson inquired fervently.

“All of that and more will be answered in a moment. However, I’d rather _show_ you than tell you.” Jayne offered, and held up a small square disk that Armin had no name of, nor any concept of. Thomson’s eyes lit up. “I knew cameras would not be allowed in the patient room, so I wore a nondescript body camera.” Jayne announced proudly, having found a loophole to the system. Thomson and many people in the crowd cheered, and congratulated her for her ‘brilliance.’

A man walked on to the stage, took the small disk from Jayne, disappeared with it, and within a few moments, a backdrop lowered behind Jayne and Thomson. It seemed to be another television screen of some sort. On the backdrop screen, the hospital room came into view. Armin recognized everyone in the room except the skinny, frail, heavily bandaged and bruised boy cowering on the hospital bed.

Everyone was introducing themselves to the boy on the bed, and then the mini Jayne on the backdrop scream asked for his name. Armin waited with bated breath, and to his horror, the tiny blonde timidly introduced himself as Armin Arlert.

_That can’t be me. I don’t—I don’t look that bad_. Armin thought defensively, and then assured himself that he couldn’t be in two places at once anyways. As he did, the video continued to roll with the social worker, Rita, asking for his age, and the boy answered the same way Armin had—fourteen.

“He’s so timid.” Johnson commented, watching the recording Jayne took without anyone’s permission.

“This is the first contact with the real world, and real people that he’s ever had. If you’ll notice, he’s sensitive to the light too, just like a cave-boy.” Jayne explained, as if she was still an expert on Armin’s life. “They don’t live with electricity, you know. Rita, the social worker was horrified at their primitive living conditions. There’s no fridges, washers, dryers, nothing! Not even indoor plumbing! Rita informed me that they smell like the animals they are, and who, who names a town Potato Town?” Jayne gushed with horror, while the film played behind her. Armin frowned, receiving that awful feeling again that he got when adults belittled him.

Erwin on the small screen spoke up in defense of Armin’s town’s name. That was definitely Erwin. Armin didn’t refute that. He focused back on the boy who was saying everything he had said. It was crazy, and surreal. _That can’t be me_. Armin thought, and noticed that Erwin was becoming angry. He hadn’t noticed it then, but he saw it now, Erwin was clenching his hands into fists and had grit his teeth. Armin felt a sense of relief flood through him then that he hadn’t been the only one bothered by the woman’s words.

“How horrible. He looks like a mangy cave-dweller. It goes with the territory of rural towns, though.” Thomson ‘tsked’ with a disapproving shake of his head. Jayne leaned forwards and although she acted as if she was listening, she spoke loud enough for all to hear.

“I even heard they worship potatoes.” Jayne informed Thomson grimly, as if the thought of someone worshiping potatoes was the worst thing in the world. Thomson sat back, incredulous.

“No!” Thomson gasped, setting a shocked hand on his heart, while the crowd booed. Armin’s own breath hitched, and he pressed his hands to his mouth, appalled.

She was _mocking_ the Potato gods. Jayne was making fun of everyone Armin knew, and his way of live. Armin didn’t need to know every big word to understand that much. _Many people all over the world watch television, and gain insight to other towns through the ‘magical box_.’ Armin recalled Erwin’s words, and wondered just how many strangers were going to think Potato Town and their gods were a joke?

How many people would think Armin was some mangy, smelly cave dweller?

Armin didn’t even notice Erwin enter the room. He was staring at the television, as frustrated tears welled up into the corners of his eyes. Erwin stopped, seeing that Armin was alarmingly distraught, and distracted. He followed Armin’s gaze to the television, half-expecting to see a gory horror movie or a scantily clad women.

But nothing could have prepared him for what was actually on the television. The hospital room was featured, alongside Erwin himself, Armin, and the social ‘helpers’. Erwin suddenly understood why Armin was horrified, as the question of incest and abuse played out on the screen. Jayne then on the stage began to comment then, “He becomes hostile, and honestly, Thomson, I thought he was going to bite one of us. He’s so emotional and rapid that he could have used a muzzle.” Jayne set a hand over her heart, and spoke in a low, concerned voice—Armin didn’t think the concern as aimed at him, since she was painting a twisted picture of what happened yesterday. Erwin clenched his hands into fists.

“You do know what the psychologists say—he was definitely abused by his family. There’s no doubt about that. All of that incest made him volatile. Like—like a mad dog. I know I castrated my mad dog, and when the incessant yapping did not end, he was put down. Is this wild child even fit to be in modern society?” Thomson questioned the audience then, who ‘booed’.

_Everyone’s going to think that my family hurt me_. Armin let out a defeated sob. Erwin hurriedly approached Armin, and reached for the remote resting on Armin’s lap.

“Give that to me, Armin.” Erwin demanded, wanting to protect Armin from the rest of the video that while it had been illegally filmed, Jayne was a journalist, and the media couldn’t be silenced for ‘telling the truth.’ Armin reacted faster than Erwin thought he would, and grabbed the remote.

“Wh-what is this!?” Armin shouted accusingly at Erwin, raw and vulnerable, as he pointed with his free hand to the television.

“An invasion of privacy and a disregard for a child’s feelings.” Erwin responded and tried to snatch the remote away from Armin who yanked it away from Erwin and hold it close to his body. Armin heard himself shout then and looked back to the television. He saw himself explode on Jayne, in defense of his family, and then Jayne blew up on him. Armin paled with terror and dropped the remote. Erwin set the happy meal box on the night table and grabbed the remote easily, with a grim face.

“Jayne, this is the most riveting story I have ever aired. You’re brilliant, and brave to interview such a wild, dangerous child who while young, has the unbecoming racism of the ignorants.” Thomson announced, touched and awed at her ‘herosim.’ The crowd began to applaud.

“As you well know, I am a social justice warrior, and when I see racism, I just lash out. He is an unruly child, and I was thinking that maybe his parents hit him to make him shut up.” Jayne theorized, further poisoning public opinion of a young boy and his town.

“Well, while I do not doubt that he deserved what ever he got, our time is up. So that’s all f—” The television went black, leaving Armin feeling numb.

“Are you okay?” Erwin asked, and clapped a hand over Armin’s shoulder. Armin winced at the touch, and slowly turned sad eyes to Erwin.

“Please tell me that you lied to me. Tell me that was not real.” Armin pleaded, his voice soft and desperate. Erwin knew this wasn’t his fault, but he still felt like an asshole. He should have noticed her body camera. He shouldn’t have introduced Armin to television. He should have strangled the bitch yesterday.

“I am sorry, Armin…” Was all Erwin could say. Armin sighed, and lowered himself on to the uncomfortable bed. He rolled over, and curled up on his side. Erwin had expected Armin to cry, yet no sound emitted from the kid’s throat. That worried Erwin. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently rubbed Armin’s shoulder. Armin tightened his hold on the blanket and pressed his face against the pillow.

Neither father nor son spoke.

Armin was tired and emotionally spent. He was reeling from what he saw on the television, and was trying to sort his thoughts out. There was so much he didn’t understand about this new world and he just wanted to go home and work the fields he knew. Erwin wanted to comfort Armin, not suffocate him with words, so he waited for Armin to be willing to talk, and in the meantime, caressed his back.

After awhile of lethargically laying around, Armin rolled on to his stomach and craned his head to the happy meal box. That’s what Erwin had called it. Armin propped himself up on his elbows and stared at the box. He then refocused on Erwin.

“Is all of this my divine punishment for poisoning that man?” Armin asked, uncharacteristically mopey. His voice was low and soft, but full of the pain he was either trying to hide or deny existed. Erwin straightened at the question and grabbed Armin’s hand.

“No. You need to listen to me, Armin. You can never, and I mean never say that again. You may be a child, but you could be taken to a worse place if anyone hears you say that so you need to forget it ever happened.” Erwin warned seriously, startling Armin. Armin paled at the firm tone of Erwin’s voice. He had not been harsh with him before. Armin hunched down and looked away, feeling scolded which only exacerbated his mopey mood.

“Sorry.” Armin muttered moodily. Erwin sighed, and stood up. He felt powerless to help Armin feel better, since Armin was withdrawing inside of himself again.

“Don’t be sorry, Kid. I just don’t want you to ever mention that again. What happened, happened. It does not make you a bad person at all. Eren told us all about why you did what you did, and if you ever found yourself in that position again, I’d encourage you to do it again.” Erwin encouraged the distraught boy. Armin looked up at Erwin, surprised with how understanding the man was of his immoral actions.

Would the potato gods be as understanding? Armin could only hope so.

“You…do not think I should be punished for what I did?” Armin questioned hesitantly, nervous of the answer. He still feared Erwin was just hiding his darker nature from him and that anything could set it off.

“All you did was defend yourself the only way you knew how. I thought your method was brilliant, and the fact that it worked means you’re a really clever child. I am proud of you.” Erwin admitted, as he caressed Armin’s cheek. Armin’s breath hitched in his throat.

Brilliant. Clever. Proud.

It had been years since Armin last heard praise. That annoying, belittling woman’s praise from the village did not count. It never had. And his grandfather had been too busy with the fields to acknowledge Armin the way he needed to be acknowledged. But now, Erwin, a man who claimed to be his _real_ father was praising him.

After everything Armin had done, and after he convinced himself that he was a bad person, Erwin was telling him that he was proud of him. Armin’s hastily put together wall shattered around him, and the tears he withheld stubbornly came pouring forth. He had not realized just how much he had needed to be told that what he had done to protect himself was okay.

In that moment, it did not matter that the whole world seemed to think of him as some unruly, rapid child, nor did it matter that his town’s image had been slandered. What mattered to Armin was how understanding Erwin was of everything, and how he encouraged, and praised him in ways he never thought he would hear, or receive again. Armin threw his arms around Erwin’s neck and clung to him desperately as he shed his relief on to Erwin’s shoulder.

The thick tears wet Erwin’s shirt. He curled an arm around Armin’s little waist and then with his free hand, he stroked his hair and began to whisper fatherly sweet nothings into Armin’s ear. Armin never imagined he would let himself be held this way, nor did he ever think there would be a time where he couldn’t hold back his tears.

For years Armin had held his pain in, and it was only recently that he had began to crack, as his strength faded from him. He didn’t understand why he was struggling with his emotions so much. If Armin had his way, he’d never cry again.

This was not a perfect world, though. Armin had a lot of unresolved feelings left over from a unsteady childhood, wrought with death, and excruciating hunger. Then the soldiers came, and Armin still hadn’t had a chance to even try to understand what happened or why. He could only think of it as Eren’s fault for not sacrificing a potato to the potato gods. Psychologists would have a hay day with Armin. He’d be their new obsession. Erwin knew that, and was uncertain if Armin should be assigned one.

“Do you believe in the potato gods, Armin?” Erwin asked, as he stroked Armin’s hair gently. Armin had been crying on him for awhile, and hadn’t touched the meal yet. It was time they talk about this.

“I don’t—” Armin began, then remembered how bad things happened when people denied their existence. He had been skeptical, just like Eren, but the difference was that Eren openly defied them and caused cruel men to show up at the village. “I did not believe in them, and they punished me. I think…I think I was wrong to doubt them…and I wish people would stop looking at me with pity any time I mention them. I am not stupid, and I am not crazy. The potato gods exist because if they didn’t, I wouldn’t be here right now in a white, earthless hell.” Armin answered slowly, since he still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about the potato gods.

Since he was away from home, and a vegetable worship was the only thing he knew, and could hold on to in the sterile, colorless room, Armin grabbed on to the idea he used to doubt.

“Well, I do think the hospitals could add a bit of color to their walls. However, you must understand that people reject religion out of arrogance. If they believed that there was a higher power who frowned upon criminal actions, they could then not have any ‘fun’ in the world. They would then be responsible for their own actions and humans by nature want to defy whoever happens to have power or prestige over them.” Erwin explained, partially thinking of himself and how he had lived up until this point. Armin changed his mind. Precious Armin was his. And the little boy was perfect.

At this point, Erwin doubted that Armin would be captain of the Football team. It was even more unlikely that Armin would grow up to join the military. And once, Erwin might have been bothered by the thought of his potential child being anything less than an alpha male. But seeing Armin, and knowing he made that fragile, emotional boy, with a lovely woman from his past, Erwin’s notions of a perfect son faded away and only Armin was in his thoughts.

Armin rubbed the tears away from his eyes, and took a few breaths to calm himself. He felt Erwin’s reassuring, affectionate touches, and mulled over his words. Arrogance. Eren had some of that, but he never personally made Armin feel bad. “Why can’t they just let me be? I think they’re crazy for _not_ believing in the potato gods. It’s only because of the potato gods that any of us exist because potatoes endure through winter.” Armin defended, stressed out that he still felt as if he was being attacked—not by Erwin, but may of the other people in this foreign land.

“I figured as much. Since your in village was secluded, the crops you produced gave you life.  A failed harvest would have meant death. That being said, it’s no wonder why you worship potatoes. They literally gave you life when you wouldn’t have had one. You’re a clever boy.” Erwin acknowledged, having gained a better understanding of why Armin and his village companions believed in potato gods.

From what Armin said, combined with a knowledge of rural villages, with limited technology and world-wide knowledge, the town’s deduction was logically sound. Even so, Erwin did not believe for a second that potato gods existed. Maybe who the villagers were praying to was an agriculture god, or gods of food. Maybe there was one god who ruled them all. A single potato god was unlikely.

But Erwin was not about to tell Armin that. There was no need to burst his comfort bubble.

“Mhm. Don’t potatoes sustain you?” Armin queried as he reached around Erwin, and grabbed the happy meal. He pulled it close and set it in his lap, where the then pulled the box open.

“Actually, the modernized world relies on corn, which, is surprisingly less nutritious then a potato. Your village might have the right idea.” Erwin commented, and continued to mindlessly play with Armin’s hair. He paused when a strand of blonde hair came with his fingers. He made a mental note to mention the hair loss to the doctor who would hopefully explain that hair loss was a side effect of stress as Erwin knew it to be. He then glanced over Armin’s head. His hair was thin, but there was no bald spots.

“Corn?” Armin questioned, and popped some of the French fries into his mouth. He was a bit unsettled with how much Erwin looked at him, and touched him, but he wasn’t about to complain because Erwin wasn’t hurting him. Erwin seemed nice, and that meant something to Armin who was attention deprived.

“There’s a lot I’ll introduce you to when we return home.” Erwin promised, and for a moment, he marveled Armin’s display of proper manners while eating. Armin ate quietly, chewing on small bites with his mouth closed. He perked up at the mention of ‘home.’

“You’re going to take me home?” Armin asked, straightening up a little as his eyes shined with hope. Erwin frowned, regretting his choice of words.

“No. Not right now. When you feel better, I’ll let you visit your home, but for now, I am going to bring you to my house.” Erwin clarified, as he should have from the start. Arin lost his smile. “Legally, I have to bring you to my house. I can assure you, it’s not white like this place is.”

“Oh…a-are you taking me today?” Armin questioned nervously, and glanced at the window apprehensively. He had no idea what he would see outside of this room and he did not want to know. “I…I don’t really want to walk…” Armin muttered, partially telling the truth. He was sore, and ached.

“Yes. When you finish eating, we’ll stop by Eren’s room before we leave.” Erwin told him, figuring Armin might relish the chance to see his best friend. Armin perked up again.

“Can we go now!?” Armin questioned eagerly, setting aside the food. Erwin shook his head.

“Eat first.” Erwin instructed, making his first fatherly command.

Armin deflated and grumbled.

Erwin pat him on his head.


	11. Safe Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin takes Armin home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the recovery ark that apparently, I am known for. 
> 
> As far as context and story goes, considering everything that happened, I do not think that Armin is out of character. Yeah, he cries, maybe "a lot," but, like I said, when taken into consideration that he was orphaned, bullied, raped, taken to a whole new world, like, literally, I think most children would have a lot of overwhelming emotions so try to bare with me here because it's going to be a turbulent ride. 
> 
> I'd also like to point out that because Armin is literally alone, he's going to grab on to Erwin. Hard. In ways that he never would have, if he was in his "right state of mind." Whatever that is, because, he hasn't been okay since his parent(s)x? was/were killed. 
> 
> Most people are not okay with being completely alone in a new environment. I know I shake like a damn Chihuahua when I am dropped off at a Anime convention where, as much as I know "these are my people" they also couldn't be opposite of me and my mini skirts and lipstick. So, like, maybe it's that I stuck out like a sore thumb, but, like, there's also this enormous responsibility that's like, suddenly thrust on your shoulders too 'cuz then it's like "Oh crap I gotta be aware of whose around me 'cuz I'm the only one watchin out for me.' And Armin's gonna feel some of that, that he's completely alone, vulnerable, and needs to protect himself. Other times, he's gonna cling to Erwin. Maybe Levi. Levi's kinda snippy and that's kinda nerve-wracking for Armin who was heavily brutalized before.

War on Titan

Chapter 11: Safe Potato

_What can I do to make feel safe_? Was the question on Erwin’s mind as he watched Armin nibble at a chicken nugget. Erwin had already been scolded for the unhealthy choice of food he had brought Armin, but no one had had the heart to deny it from Armin when Erwin had pointed out that he had _asked_ for it. As long as Erwin didn’t bring in another happy meal, those heavily involved with Armin’s life would overlook the questionable food choice, especially since they all had more important concerns.

Whose fault was it that Jayne managed to slide into the hospital with a body camera? Why was she allowed to speak to Armin at all? None of it made sense to, well, anyone, and that was part of the problem. Since the moment the show aired on television, both CPS and the cops had been scurrying around all morning with the hospital staff in an attempt to figure out what went wrong. Armin was immediately assigned new case workers from CPS and a new cop, one who wasn’t a rookie.

Just outside the door was an FBI officer, standing guard. Erwin doubted Armin was aware of his presence, or how much of a scandal any of this was. Erwin was sure that Armin didn’t even know he had rights, and that several laws had been breeched and broken. Armin’s privacy had been infringed upon, and that put Erwin in a tight spot. He, like everyone else, should have been more attentive in their goal of protecting Armin.

For two days straight, when Erwin wasn’t paying visits to Armin, he had been dealing with CPS, police, and the hospital who had had initial rights over Armin. CPS already conducted a background check on Erwin. Erwin was from a well-off middle class family, who had a clean record of being educators towards children. Erwin had taken a military route, but as far as anyone could trace, Erwin had never committed any crimes. He was picture-perfect for all intents and purposes.

A simple background check alleviated some of CPS’s concerns, but their next goal had been to investigate Erwin’s house. Erwin had given them permission to conduct their investigation. Their only concern had been that Erwin did legally own a gun. The gun was locked away in a cabinet. As long as the gun stayed under lock and key, CPS relented that Erwin’s house had the capacity to properly house a child. Erwin had Levi setting up a simplistic, temporary bedroom for Armin to come home to.

It was by God’s grace that Erwin was even allowed to take Armin home at all today, especially given what happened, but CPS had figured that Armin would be safer in a private house as opposed to a hospital whose staff had allowed Jayne in. CPS did not want to chance another scandal, so as long as the FBI accompanied Erwin home with Armin, they felt that Armin might be protected this time.

In most cases, the FBI would have snatched Armin up and would have whisked him away to a safe house. The only reason this did not happen was because it had been decided that pulling Armin away from the only man he sort of knew would not be beneficial to his health, and development. The FBI and CPS had, that morning, made it clear to Erwin that Armin needed to be modernized—and fast. As much as Erwin hated the idea of indoctrinating Armin into issues of social justice while he didn’t even know what a fridge was, Erwin had no choice but to agree.

Just because Erwin was Armin’s biological father, it did not mean he had the ultimate say over how Armin’s life would progress from here. Erwin was clever, and knew how to clamp his mouth shut, and oblige when he needed to. He chose his battles carefully, and just the fact that he could bring Armin home at all was a win, even if the FBI and cops would haunt the area.

Already, Armin had been interviewed various times by all parties involved with his life. In a lot of those interviews, Erwin had been escorted out of the room. Armin didn’t really understand why he was required to tell his life to strangers, strangers who he wasn’t sure had his best interest at heart, especially after that first time with Jayne. His reluctance would create a break in the interview where Erwin would be guided in to calm him, and encourage him to cooperate with the questions.

A lot happened since Armin woke up, and he did feel as if he was being pulled and stretched a million different ways. The years of malnutrition and abuse made him moody in uncharacteristic ways, and the enormous amount of stress he was under caused him to become emotional without provocation. He needed to feel secure, and cared for, none of which he felt. Armin’s main reason for being difficult was his lack of concentration, and focus, which was brought about by pain.

The hospital refused to give Armin pain medication that actually worked because he was a child. The medication they did give him was akin to putting a band-aid over a blown-off arm. Erwin had, yesterday, tried to press the hospital to give Armin something—anything that would at least dull some of the pain he was in, but the hospital’s hands were tied from the extensive regulations, and rules. Armin had to suffer, and endure. That angered Erwin a lot, because in modern society, children shouldn’t have to be in pain. There should be _something_ that would alleviate Armin’s pain.

All of these things Erwin was thinking about, and had been thinking about. It would have been easy on him to hand Armin over to CPS. There would be a lot of bullshit he wouldn’t have to deal with. But, another look at Armin reminded Erwin that all of this hell was worth it to have Armin as his. Armin was sucking on the straw—a new skill Erwin taught him moments ago—and was enjoying the tasty liquid. It wasn’t bland like the drinks the hospital gave him.

Not that Armin had a problem with bland. Everything Armin had ate up until the hospital had been bland. Armin hadn’t known how enjoyable food could be. He couldn’t eat to his hearts content, though. His stomach was alarmingly small, and for that one reason—alongside other reasons regarding the abuse he endured—Erwin would be bringing Armin to multiple doctors weekly so his health could be monitored.

CPS had made it clear in no uncertain terms that if Armin did not improve weekly, he would be taken from Erwin who at this point had temporary custody of Armin. Erwin needed to prove himself before he could gain full custody of the kid. The fact that Armin expressed some level of comfort around Erwin, and went for him when he was scared or upset was a good sign to CPS that there was some type of bond forming between them. They also made it understood that they wanted to know what caused the extensive, alarming damage to Armin’s anal cavity. Armin had refused to comment on it. He did not want to say.

Talking about the rape at all was hard enough for him. There was a lot he hadn’t said at all. Hearing Armin’s story was a work in progress. The few things Armin did confide to Erwin, he later reported back to CPS who filed it away in a subfolder, to later be confirmed, or denied by Armin. Erwin did not want to betray Armin’s trust. That wasn’t the goal. But both CPS and the cops—hell, even the doctor needed to know as much about what happened to Armin as was possible.

“I am full. Can we see Eren now?” Armin asked, setting the food back into the box, and then set the box, and drink on to the table. His strained, little voice distracted Erwin from his thoughts. He refocused on Armin, and stood up.

“In a minute. I am going to introduce you to the bathroom, and then you are going to change into clothes the social worker brought for you to have for this day.” Erwin informed Armin, and held his arm out to him to take, and hold on to. Armin blinked at Erwin for a moment, then he slowly shifted out of the bed, and wrapped both of his arms around Erwin’s arms. He was unsteady on his feet, from pain and lack of proper nutrition—something the hospital had been trying to pump into him for awhile.

“A bathroom? What clothes?” Armin wondered as he followed Erwin to the bathroom. Armin didn’t recognize much of anything except the sink, which looked odd to him. He tightened his hold on Erwin, and leaned closer to him. Erwin then introduced Armin to the bathroom, and explained what each furniture piece was, what it was used for, and how to use it. Erwin demonstrated the flushing of the toilet—Armin was badly startled by the loud, echoing noise—and then after calming Armin down, he showed him how to work the shower.

_What is this place where they have power over rain_? Was Armin’s first thought, until Erwin explained a little bit about indoor plumbing, and how the entire concept was part of science, and technology. It could be argued that indoor plumbing, amongst other technology were the answers to prayers, but Erwin wasn’t going to overwhelm Armin with any of that because it was just a theory that some people had.

Once Armin had a basic understanding of the bathroom, Erwin showed Armin to the clothes, and let him change into them himself. The blue shirt, and jeans were foreign to Armin, but he didn’t complain because the material was soft, and he was covered, unlike the hospital gown that had left him feeling vulnerable and exposed. Erwin then brought Armin out of the room—he had already signed Armin out of the hospital.

“Who is he?” Armin asked, noticing the man in black amongst all of the white. The man wordlessly followed behind Erwin, and Armin, which made Armin nervous.

“All you need to know right now is that he will protect you.” Erwin told Armin, to not bog him down with the details. Armin nodded and stared with wide eyes at the people, nurses, and doctors that passed by, and or were performing duties. Erwin briefly explained the difference between a nurse compared to a doctor, and informed Armin what important technology was around, like the gourney’s and filing cabinets—keeping things as simple as possible. He didn’t want Armin to be more overwhelmed than he already was. Armin listened. He was too timid to ask questions.

When Erwin pulled Armin into a room, the blonde was distractedly looking over his shoulder at a person who was being wheel-chaired to a different part of the hospital. In his own way, he was trying to understand and comprehend this new world. Erwin set a hand on Armin’s shoulder to gain his attention. Armin looked up at him, half expecting Erwin to point something out and talk about it. Erwin did point. But no explanation was needed. Armin’s blue eyes lit up with joy.

“Eren!” Armin exclaimed, and hobbled towards Eren who was pushing himself up into a sitting position. He clambered on to the bed, with minimal help from Eren and Erwin who had followed behind him to make sure he wouldn’t fall.

“Armin! You look great.” Eren spoke up, as he looked Armin over. The last time he had seen Armin, the boy had been on death’s door with a life-threatening infection. Armin had been pale, and delirious. Now, Armin was moving, and talking. He was still a shade of pale, and he was battered, bruised, and scarily thin, but it was still an improvement from days ago.

“O-oh. Y-you think so?” Armin murmured, becoming shy, and was again aware of his appearance. Eren smiled and pushed some of Armin’s hair out of his face.

“Of course. I was really concerned that you…that you wouldn’t wake up.” Eren admitted, and then grabbed at Armin’s bandaged hands. He frowned at them, and gently caressed them. Armin curled a leg under his body, and inched closer to Eren, who he trusted. It was written on his face that Eren meant a lot to him. And as much as Erwin would have liked to watch the entire reunion play out, he had important matters to deal with.

“I’ll be back, Armin.” Erwin promised, but Armin barely seemed to hear him, or care, since he was enamored to be with Eren again. Erwin turned, and left to speak with the hospital staff, CPS, and the cops. Armin would be safe with the FBI man guarding the room.

“I don’t remember anything after he hit me with the gun.” Armin informed Eren, and let Eren rub his hands because it was a familiar comfort. Eren had always loved Armin’s hands, and right now, Armin liked that Eren was paying attention to him. Even if he thought this was all Eren’s fault. It was hard to be mad at him when Eren was all he had.

“That man—Erwin saved your life. He—” Eren began, then paused, noticing the FBI agent hovering in front of the door and lowered his voice. “Erwin shot that Captain. If he hadn’t, the guy would have shot you. I thought—I thought I was going to lose you.” Eren confessed, distraught, and just held Armin’s hands in his own.

“Did he? I never had much of a chance to talk about it to him. The doctor was insisting I make a choice about vaccinations. Erwin helped me learn a lot about them, but it was pretty overwhelming and then all of these people kept wanting to ask me all kinds of questions.” Armin told him, already stressing at the mere mention of everything he had been through. Eren nodded with understanding.

“I know. People wanted to ask me questions too. I had to tell them everything.” Eren sympathized with a grimace. He had not enjoyed retelling his story. “They wanted to know if I had been abused too, like you were. Rape, they referred to it as. I told them no, that, the soldier lording over me and Mikasa just wanted me to suck his cock. They called that rape too but I don’t agree with that.” Eren recalled, and again began to stroke Armin’s hair.

“You too?” Armin questioned, and sifted closer to Eren, pressing against him comfortably. “Boris wanted me to ‘suck his lollipop.’ Whatever that is. I didn’t have a choice, so I did what he wanted me to do. But Igor…” Armin began, then trailed off with recollection of the sheer horror Igor put him through. Armin teared up, and buried his face against Eren’s neck, and weakly grabbed at the hospital gown Eren wore. “Can we not talk about this? I am so done telling people about what they did to me.” Armin said, cuddling against Eren, with whom he felt comfortable around.

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?” Eren offered, as Armin lifted a hand up and rubbed at his eyes.

“There’s this woman. She was with the others yesterday. She was really scary.” Armin stated, bothered by what he saw this morning. “I don’t think she liked me very much either. And I don’t really understand  a lot about those—” Armin paused, and pointed to the television in the corner. “Those boxes that people are inside of. She appeared there, and said some mean things about our town.” Armin explained, hating how the world must view his town. He also wondered that if they thought Potato Town was so weird, what must their town be like?

“Oh. Levi introduced me to those things. I don’t really get it either but why did she insult our town?” Eren wondered, perplexed that someone would have something negative to say about their town. Their village had offered them the freedom to run around green fields underneath clear skies. The work may have been hard, but there were various times throughout the days when they all had copious amounts of time to play, and talk to each other.

Everything was changing, now.

“I don’t know. She made fun of the potato gods too, and that really upset me.” Armin admitted, and took Eren’s hand in his to play with his hand. They had always been touch-feely with each other.

“You don’t even believe in the potato gods.” Eren asserted, surprised that Armin was bothered over such a trivial matter. Armin tensed against Eren, and recoiled.

“That’s not true. I—I do believe in them…don’t you?” Armin fretted, concerned Eren was still expressing doubt in the potato gods. Eren himself proved they existed—the potato gods punished him and the entire town when he didn’t offer up a potato—so why was he being so stubborn about this?

“Why would I believe in them?” Eren questioned, raising an eyebrow at Armin. Armin gaped at him. Eren sighed, and set a hand on Armin’s head. “I _did_ sacrifice a potato, okay?” Eren confessed, his gentle tone was serious. Armin’s blue eyes widened with horror.

“But—but—” Armin stammered, as he tried to comprehend what Eren was telling him. “Who—”

“No one.” Eren answered, cutting Armin off. “My father and I both sacrificed a potato. The soldiers came anyways.”

If what Eren said was true, that challenged their entire religious belief system. No one else would have dared to not sacrifice a potato. So if everyone did, and the Russian soldiers came anyways…

“We’re at the end of a war. Those Russians happened upon us by accident. They left some of their men behind to protect us. Some of those men abused their strength. Levi explained that that is an unfortunate side effect of war. That bad things happen, and no god is to blame, just faulty human nature.” Eren explained, having learned a bit about the world from Levi. Armin shook his head, shocked at what he was hearing.

“Why did you never say anything, then? You let me believe that it was all your fault?” Armin asked, as he searched Eren’s face for an answer. Eren nodded, and set his warm hands on Armin’s cheeks.

“You were already so overwhelmed with your life and you just needed someone else to blame, so I decided to be your scapegoat so you could be okay.” Eren admitted softly, cupping Armin’s face in his hands. Armin felt as if his heart leapt into his throat as he realized the extent of how much Eren cared for him. Eren was a true friend. Armin leaned forwards, and pressed their foreheads together.

“I am so sorry. I never should have blamed you.” Armin apologized guiltily, feeling awful that he was ever mad at Eren. Eren smiled warmly, as he slid one hand down to Armin’s chin, and then pressed his lips against Armin’s in a chaste kiss.

“It’s okay, Armin.”  Eren assured him, and kissed him again.

_I don’t deserve him_. Armin thought, feeling hot and ashamed of himself. Even now, Eren was understanding of him, and was trying to absolve him of guilt, and weight. He closed his eyes, and returned the kiss with longing while stray tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Hey, hey. Don’t cry. I wanted you to blame me. I don’t regret it, either, and neither should you. We’re both safe now, and we’ll be together again one day.” Eren consoled Armin, though his own eyes were beginning to water. Levi had informed him about CPS, and how foster families worked. Once Eren left the hospital, he wouldn’t see Armin again for a long time.

“What do you mean?” Armin asked, rubbing at his eyes again.

“I won’t be able to see you for awhile when you leave here.” Eren answered, because he did not want to lie to Armin or give him false hope. The reality of the situation was that they would be separated for awhile. Eren had every intent to find Armin again, though, even if Erwin couldn’t come through for him.  Erwin had spoken with him about the possibility of adopting him. It was an appealing idea because he’d get to be with Armin, but Levi had been realistic about it, and had explained the adoption process was long, and difficult.

“You can’t come with me, can you?” Armin guessed, resting his hands on his lap. Eren shook his head, and noticed Erwin had returned. Eren refocused on Armin, who he wanted to cheer up.

“No, I can not come with you, but I saw the way Erwin took care of you while you were lost in a fever. I believe he will be kind to you, and that you should give him a chance.” Eren insisted gently, and gestured towards Erwin with his hand. Armin followed Eren’s hand and saw Erwin, who was approaching them.

“Are you ready to go, Armin? Everything is sorted out for me to introduce you to your new home.” Erwin suggested, to see if Armin was as ready as he would ever be to adventure into a whole new world, or if he wanted a few more minutes with Eren. Armin glanced to Eren, then he looked back to Erwin. Eren gave Armin a gentle push.

“I…I guess…” Armin relented, and slowly let himself slide off of the bed. He didn’t feel as though he had had ample time with Eren, and there was still a lot of things he wanted to talk about, but with his own thoughts not well sorted out, he figured Eren was right to push him along.

“Do you want another minute?” Erwin asked, seeing the displeasure featured on Armin’s face. Armin shook his head solemnly and went towards Erwin. Eren grabbed Armin’s hand. Armin looked back at him.

“We’ll see each other again. Mikasa too.” Eren promised, and then kissed Armin’s hand. Armin tried to smile, but he wasn’t feeling as optimistic as Eren was.

_Mikasa. She was that girl friend of theirs. I’ll have to ask Armin about her later_. Erwin noted to himself, and held his arm out for Armin to take. Armin looked back at Eren again, longingly, then limped over to Erwin and grabbed onto his arm.

“Bye…Eren.” Armin softly bid Eren farewell, and allowed Erwin to lead him out of the room.

“I already have everything in the car. We’re not taking any detours, so just follow me.” Erwin told Armin, and guided him through the halls, and only stopped to let the nurses who tended to Armin fret over him and give him advice.

Even the doctor said bye and like the nurses, gave Armin medical advice, such as that rest was more important then exploring the new world around him. Armin did not have a lot to say, but it wasn’t unusual for him. Once everyone said their goodbyes, Erwin escorted Armin out of the hospital, with the man in black following. It was his job to make sure the boy made it to his destination safely. The cops would then handle guarding Armin from there.

“There’s…are they all cars?” Armin wondered as he looked around the parking lot with huge, blue eyes. There were numbers, symbols, and images on different cars that he had never seen before. Some were colorful and inspirational while others were odd. Some cars even had little toys on the insides, or weird seats.

“Yeah. These are all different types of cars. Some of them run without oil, or with limited amounts of oil. These cars are not nearly as eco-friendly as they’re featured to be.” Erwin informed Armin, as he kept the little blonde close to him.

Parking lots were dangerous places, with the young and the reckless driving, and the elderly. At any given time a drug-addict or a alcoholic could be driving as well. Erwin understood this and made it a point to be attentive of his surroundings. Armin hovered close to Erwin, and tried to understand what he was seeing.

“How do you know which one is yours? A lot of them look the same.” Armin muttered, seeing a great number of white and red cars that seemed to be the same model, even though they weren’t.

“Well, you have to know what brand of car you own, and then, if it’s a common car, you put items in your car that you know are yours, or you add decals or stickers to the outside of the car.” Erwin explained, and stopped at a Jeep that definitely looked different from every other car in the parking lot. Armin appreciated this fact a lot.

“Why is yours different?” Armin questioned, following Erwin to the passenger side of the car. Erwin unlocked the car with a key, and pulled the door open.

“Mine is a classic. If you notice a car that looks cool, you’ll know it was expensive, and or classic, which means it’s desirable.” Erwin answered and gently nudged Armin towards the seat. Armin felt little compared to the jeep, and tensed up, having no idea as to how he was supposed to climb into the seat, feeling daunted.

“I—I don’t think I can get up there.” Armin admitted nervously, thinking about how even if he could, it would take a lot of strength from him that he didn’t have, and it would require him to stretch. The last thing he wanted to do was stretch his wounds out. He looked back at Erwin for help.

“That is why I am here. I am going to help lift you into the jeep. Grab what you can, and climb in.” Erwin instructed Armin, and then carefully hauled him up. Armin gasped as the ground disappeared out from under his feet, and for a moment, all he could think about was the first time he had been raped. Boris had been behind him, not in a similar manner…but similar enough in concept that Armin was concerned for a split second.

It was unfair of him—he knew, but he couldn’t help but to be concerned, even as he climbed into the jeep, with the help of Erwin. Armin sat down and startled a little when the jeep door was shut. He shifted nervously in his seat and tried not to think about how he had no idea what to expect. Erwin stepped around the metal mass, unlocked the drivers door, opened it, and climbed inside.  He started the jeep. Armin startled again.

“Try to relax, Armin. Now, we need to get your seat belt put on you.” Erwin mentioned, and reached past Armin to grab the belt buckle. Armin watched Erwin pull a strap over his waist, and push the metal into another piece of metal. Then, he tightened it. “Every time you enter a car, the first thing you do is shut that door. Then you put your seat belt on.” Erwin said as he rolled his window down, just a little. He didn’t want anyone to be able to easily look in and see Armin. Armin copied Erwin and experimentally rolled the window down on the passenger side to match Erwin’s.

“Alright.” Armin responded in a quiet voice and rested his hands on his lap. He fidgeted as the jeep began moving.

“You seemed pretty overwhelmed in the hospital. Is there something you saw that bothered you?” Erwin wondered, concerned about Armin. Armin shifted uncomfortably and looked away. “It’s okay, Armin. You can ask me anything.” Erwin assured him, and focused on driving. A non-descript black SUV followed behind them. Armin tentatively looked up at Erwin.

“I saw…I saw people who looked really different than me.” Armin stammered, recalling people in the hospital who not only had different skin colors, but a wide array of hair colors and odd clothing. He was seeing more unique people on the streets, and in other cars they passed by.

_Oh. Oh. He understand nothing about race_. Erwin realized, and decided now was as good a time as any to give Armin a basic lesson on race. “That’s okay, Armin. You don’t need to be alarmed, nor scared when you encounter people who look different than you.” Erwin reassured Armin, who was distractedly looking at everything there was to see with new eyes.

“They…some of them were scary.” Armin muttered uncomfortably, expressing the unease he felt about the variety of ‘new’ looking people.

“Some people are scary. However, the color of our skin doesn’t make us scary. Remember that.” Erwin said, and turned on to a street. Armin nodded simply, and looked down at his lap. He saw too much he couldn’t comprehend, and felt like a stranger. He wrapped his arms around his body and leaned his head against the window of the door. “I know it’s a lot to take in, and but all you need to know right now is to not comment on a person’s skin color, nor should you talk about a woman’s outfit, or lack there of.” Erwin added, since those were two of the most important concepts he could teach Armin.

“Lack there of?” Armin repeated, and a bit curious towards the man’s choice of words.

“Nothing.” Erwin dismissed, since he wasn’t about to explain the women’s sexual liberation movement to the kid who had more important things to learn right now.

“Are you really thinking of adopting Eren?” Armin asked then, changing the subject to another topic he had been thinking about.

“Yeah. Once I have full custody of you, and you’re settled into your new life, I’ll take the necessary steps to adopt Eren, as long as someone else hasn’t adopted him already.” Erwin answered, and turned the jeep onto a driveway. Armin shifted a bit and looked up at Erwin.

“What about Levi? Could he adopt Eren?” Armin questioned, with hope sounding in his voice. Erwin shook his head and turned the jeep off.

“No. He would not pass the background check.” Erwin responded, and opened the door. “Come on, we’re home.” Erwin said as he stepped out of the car. Armin copied Erwin in that he opened the car door, but froze upon seeing the distance from the seat to the ground. He was nervous because he felt the fatigue, and was concerned about re-opening wounds.

Lucky for him, Erwin already guessed he would be timid about climbing out of the car and was in front of him within seconds. Erwin helped Armin down, and then pat his head. “Stay here. I am going to talk to the man real quick.” Erwin told Armin, and went to talk to the FBI agent to assure him they were safe here now. Armin nodded and turned to look at the home he would be living in.

The house was a modern Craftsman. Armin stared at it, having never seen a house like it before. It didn’t look like a house. Armin looked at the other houses nearby, and saw that they were all sort of different. Armin frowned and thought back to the log-houses found in the village. That was a house. He didn’t know what this building was, and admittedly was intimidated by it.

“You ready to head in?” Erwin asked, startling Armin out of his thoughts. Armin craned his head up to look at him.

“Is this your home?” Armin wondered skeptically, and kept to himself. Erwin didn’t take offense, and instead gently nudged Armin to the wooden door.

“Yes. I know it’s not what you’re used to, but you’ll get used to it in time.” Erwin assured the little blonde, and guided him into the home. Armin was introduced to a one-story, open-concept, low pitched roofs, built in black bookcases and exposed black wooden beams on the ceiling. The walls were a tasteful grey, with black wooden crown molding and base boards. The carpet in the living room was black.

It was definitely a bachelor’s pad. There was no white anywhere, from what Armin could tell, which was partially a relief, but he still felt as if he was in an alien building.

Where was the color? The feminine touches? Everything looked pristine and clean. The house didn’t look lived in. Armin was bothered by the cold aura that the carpet couldn’t have shaken off even if it had had color.

“I take it you are not impressed.” Erwin commented, noting the displeasure on Armin’s face as he looked around at his surroundings. Armin was about to reply, and then he saw the fire place. It was made of stone—not brick, and was black.

_This isn’t home_. Armin thought, as he felt his heart start to beat quicker, realizing that he missed his home. The wood. The greens. Armin had _nothing_ from the village. The clothes he was wearing weren’t his either. He had nothing of his own.

“Are you crying?” Erwin asked with surprise, and concern. He knelt down before Armin, gently set his hands on his arms, and searched his face. “Why are you upset?” Erwin questioned, but Armin just shook his head, not wanting to admit how selfish, petty, and ungrateful he thought he was being.

“Oi. You guys are here.” Erwin looked over his shoulder to see Levi coming down the hall, as he toweled his wet hair. He stopped in his approach, hearing Armin’s soft cries. “What’s his problem?”

That I do not know. We entered the house. He looked around. He began to cry.” Erwin told Levi, who shrugged and headed into the kitchen. Erwin looked back to Armin, who although was rubbing at his eyes, the tears were still coming. He wondered whether he should play the guessing game.

“I want to go home.” Armin mourned, missing the comforts of his home where the world made sense, even if he had been abused in it.

_He’s homesick_. Erwin realized, and felt stupid for not realizing that sooner. Armin was just a child, who had been whisked away from the only home he knew, and was in a completely foreign place with people he had never seen before. It only made sense that Armin was upset. “Come here. I know it may not seem like it, but I am your home now.” Erwin assured Armin gently, and pulled him close. Armin sniffled and kept his arms at his sides.

“Hey. Did you find out what’s wrong with him?” Levi questioned as he approached again, with a plate of baby carrots, and a small bowl on top of the plate in the center, filled with ranch that he had fetched from the kitchen.

“I did. He’s homesick, Levi.” Erwin replied, and set one hand on the back of Armin’s head to press his face against his chest to comfort him.

“Shame. He’ll learn this house is cool though.” Levi said, unconcerned, and popped a ranch-dipped carrot into his mouth.

“It’s…it’s not a house.” Armin argued in a cry-strained voice. Erwin and Levi looked at Armin. “Where’s the red brick fire place? Where’s the wood walls? Where’s the color? I don’t…I don’t want to stay here.” Armin sobbed with frustration, and wrapped his arms around himself, feeling insecure and vulnerable. Where were the walls that he could dash around and play hide-and-seek? Where were the walls that he could hide behind and listen to grown-up conversations? He didn’t understand this home, and was comparing it to those he knew.

Both Erwin and Levi glanced at each other.

“We’re not changing the house.” Levin stated adamantly, in case Erwin had any thoughts of trying to change the house to some country-bumpkin bullshit. He liked the house the way it was. Some kid wouldn’t get to waltz in here and play home-designer. Erwin kept his stare for a moment, and then looked back at Armin.

“Why don’t you come look at your room? You can tell me what you want your room to look like, and I’ll try to give you what you want.” Erwin offered as he caressed Armin’s wet cheek. Armin sniffled again, and hesitantly peered around Erwin, to see where potential bedrooms were. “This way.” Erwin goaded and stood up. He then carefully nudged Armin towards the small room that had just the other day been an office. It was now a simplistic bedroom, with the same color scheme as the living room.

“I am going to sleep here?” Armin questioned, between sniffles.

“Yes. This room is yours. It is your safe space from now on, and you can tell me how you would like it to be redecorated. I’ll get Levi right on it.” Erwin assured Armin, and rubbed his back in soothing strokes.

“What?” Levi exclaimed from the living room.

“Mine?” Armin repeated, and began to blink the tears away, comforted by the thought of having his own space. “Can I even lock my door?” Armin inquired, wanting to be able to feel safe in the unfamiliar room.

“Definitely.” Erwin reassured Armin, giving him permission to hide away in his room if he wanted to.  Armin wiped the remaining tears away and relaxed a little, knowing he could retreat to the room when things got too tough. He needed a space of his own and even though the room was small, he wasn’t complaining. Erwin seemed to sense the uplift in Armin’s attitude and gently rubbed his back. “Why don’t you go try the bed out?” Erwin suggested, half-expecting Armin to jump on the bed.

It was too easy for people to forget that Armin was not a small child. He was fourteen, and while he hadn’t been acting like a sex-starved, raging, hormonal teenager, he was a budding teenager. He looked at the bed, then he looked at Erwin with concern. Erwin realized Armin must have been assaulted on his own bed before and took a step back, to give Armin space.

“I will not join you there. In fact, I’ll try to respect your new space. I’ll only come in when I have to.” Erwin decided, because he wanted Armin to be able to find comfort in the room that he wouldn’t be hurt there. The whole house was supposed to be a safe-haven for Armin, but his new room specifically was to be a safe area for him.

“You’re gonna give him a ‘this is _my_ room’ bratty complex.” Levi warned, as he leaned against the door frame and popped another ranch-dipped carrot into his mouth.

“Stop. Armin needs to know he’s safe here.” Erwin chided, as Armin tentatively began to look around the room.

“I’d be able to protect him better with that AR-15 I want.” Levi commented offhandedly, while he dipped a carrot into the ranch. Erwin rolled his eyes and clapped a hand on Levi’s shoulder and with his other hand, gestured towards Armin, timidly wandering around the room.

“Right now, he’s scared, and unpredictable. And even if he was a normal child, I would be hesitant to agree because young boys are full of testosterone and like to show off to other kids. You’re not getting one.” Erwin asserted, shutting down any notions of Levi potentially obtaining a gun that was almost as tall as him. Levi sighed irritably, and bit into the carrot.

“What’re you eating?” Armin asked with alarmed concern, drawing the adults attentions away from each other.

“Ranch and carrots.” Levi responded and held out a ranch-dipped carrot towards Armin. “Do you want one?” Levi offered, and pulled the carrot away when Armin turned a palish green color. Erwin rose a concerned eyebrow as Armin began to shake, and when he swayed, Erwin grabbed his arm to steady him.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Erwin questioned, and became more worried when Armin’s hands flew to his mouth.

“Oh fuck me. He’s going to fucking puke on the carpet.” Levi swore and shoved the plate at Erwin, grabbed Armin, and pulled him into the bathroom and shoved him at the toilet. “Puke there.” Levi demanded, pointing at the toilet, but Armin was already obliging, heaving his guts out into the toilet. Erwin stepped in, and set the plate on to the counter.

“Be nice to him, Levi. He’s overwhelmed, and scared. His entire world is changing.” Erwin told Levi, and nudged him aside to kneel behind Armin. He grabbed Armin’s hair up, and rubbed his back in soothing strokes. “You’re okay, now, Armin. I promise. You’re safe here.” Erwin promised gently, figuring the boy was just overwhelmed with his new environment. That was partially true. Levi sighed and stepped around Erwin, heading to the doorway to linger in.

“Don’t hurt me. Please…don’t hurt me with… _them_.” Armin pleaded between heavy, strained pants and fresh sobs. All he could think about were the carrots that the soldiers wanted to put inside of him.

And just like that, Erwin knew what tore Armin’s anus up. “Get those out of here.” Erwin demanded as he waved his hand in a ‘shooing’ motion towards the door. Levi rose an eyebrow, but he didn’t argue with Erwin. He took the plate and exited the room. Erwin then looked back at Armin. “I’ll never let anyone put anything into you again, okay?” Erwin tried to assure Armin, who was breaking down into heavy, loud sobs.

The simple sight of the fat, round baby carrots had triggered a volatile reaction within Armin, that overwhelmed his rationality. He was irrationally scared, thinking of how he had been restrained, and powerless to protect himself from the soldiers who, in their sick curiosity, had wanted to know ‘how many carrots would fit.’

That was days ago, but Armin swore he could still feel the rough texture of the carrot rub awake skin-fires within his body. It had been excruciatingly agonizing, and had left Armin traumatized. He had never imagined that he would be hurt in such a dehumanizing way. The worst part about the incident was that there had been no one to save him. Armin had fretted, and stressed that the men would do so much more than they did, and now that Armin thought about it in a safe location, he agonized still over how much worse it could have been for him.

In his hysterics, he did not think about how lucky he had gotten that the men had become bored—or had they been impatient? From what he remembered, Igor had decided to ‘fuck him open’, from what Boris had clarified. They really had wanted to fill him up with foreign objects and that knowledge made him dry-heave into the toilet.

All of Erwin’s soft, comforting words were lost on Armin as he sobbed, thinking about how awful he was treated back at the village. Why these thoughts were assaulting, and consuming Armin now, he wasn’t quite sure, but the more Erwin made him feel safe with gentle, repetitive touches, the more Armin remembered, and the harder he cried.

Ending Notes

1\. Honestly? Armin would have broken down and cried no matter what the house looked like because it's not "his" home. Erwin's calling it "home" but it's not "home." It's a foreign building Armin has never seen before and nothing is his. Nothing. Even if Erwin says the bed is his, it's still not "his" bed. And Erwin realizes this too, at some point, anyways, even if I don't detail it, he does. At first, I like how Erwin was about ready to change the entire house for Armin. xD And Levi's like, "No." x)

2\. During Armin's time at the hospital, he did not have much time to think about the past, nor sort his thoughts, nor his emotions out. There was always a nurse checking on him, a doctor prodding at him, forcing him to make choices he only half understands, or a CPS agent or a police officer or Erwin. He never really had a moment alone at all. And while he's not alone at the house, the carrots still triggered a break down, the first of many to come, naturally, anyways. Though, it should be noted that part of the break down happened because to some extent, Armin felt _safe._


	12. Sleeping Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin feels groggy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a short chapter. Don't hate me.

War on Titan

Chapter 12: Sleeping Potato

Two hours later, Armin had managed to cry himself to sleep. Erwin cleaned Armin up, wiped the teary mess off of his pale face and had put him into bed. He tucked Armin in, pushed some of the wet hair off of his face, and then left the bedroom to reconvene with Levi.

“A bit of alcohol will drown, and blur those memories.” Levi stated, sitting on the couch with his arms propped up on the top.

“He’s fourteen.” Erwin admonished, as he sat down beside Levi.

“And?” Levi pressed, raising an eyebrow at him. Erwin stared at him. Levi rolled his eyes. “I was drinking alcohol way before I was fourteen and I—" Erwin crossed his arms over his chest. “—Fine. Fine, I’ll lock the alcohol up.” Levi groaned with defeat and stood up. He left to rearrange the alcohol. Erwin looked to the television, and was a bit annoyed that Levi had been watching some cooking show.

None of the cooking shows Erwin had watched with Levi ever featured butter as a main recipe and left the bacon out of bacon grease. Now that Erwin had a child to think about, he did not want Levi cooking some fatless, tasteless meal. He would rather buy take out then eat anything featured on a cooking show he watched. Erwin leaned forwards, grabbed the remote, and switched the channel to the history channel, with the understanding that the shows featured were not as accurate as people assumed them to be.

On the bottom screen of the television, a thin red tab appeared, and within it, white letters appeared that read, ‘Breaking News: The War is Over.’ Erwin flipped the channel over to a reliable American news network, one that did not concoct fake news. Sure enough, a sprightly woman was informing the public that the war was over. Other reporters were featured from across the globe who confirmed this.

Each of them had a opinion about the war being over.

“Where’s the tits?” Levi casually asked as he stepped around the couch, to settle down next to Erwin. He now had a bowl of strawberries that he was popping into his mouth.

“Don’t let Armin hear you talk like that. He’ll get punched out at school by a butch she-he man if he repeats half of what you say.” Erwin chided, and slid an arm around Levi’s waist, pulling him closer. “And speaking of Armin, I don’t want you feeding him any of that shit you see on your damn cooking shows. I want him to gain weight.” Erwin informed Levi, who was the main cook around the house, which was odd when Erwin thought about it because Levi didn’t seem like the cooking type, considering his shady background. Levi groaned with frustration.

“That kid is going to be punched out by the men anyways, crying the way he does.” Levi retorted, lifting one leg over the other. He noticed the large headline on the television and realized that Erwin had changed the channel. “And, I was watching that to avoid thinking about how I was almost the reason you didn’t get to bring that brat home.” Levi griped irritably, now thinking about the war that was over.

What was he going to do with his life now? Baby sit some brat who cowered, and broke down into tears at the site of a fucking carrot?

“Then it is decided that we’ll wait to admit him into a school. But I told you not to worry about that. Armin is here, and as long as you keep the guns and alcohol locked up and out of his reach, I get to raise him.” Erwin commented, and plucked a strawberry out of the bowl and then popped it into his mouth.

“You sound pretty choked up about that. Is raising him really going to enrich our lives? Because, I was pretty happy sniping the enemy, and having desperate, angry sex with you under the stars.” Levi said, as he looked up at Erwin.

“I won’t lie. I always entertained the idea of raising a son. I just didn’t think it would ever happen. So who knew some fling would have produced Armin?” Erwin admitted, only half paying attention to the television. He really was enamored with the idea of being Armin’s father. He could teach Armin that touch did not have to hurt, that, being wrapped up in a man’s arms did not have to be oppressive nor possessive. He hoped Armin was already gaining that impression from how Erwin tried to soothe him earlier.

“A fling. Is that what we are?” Levi asked, in that nonchalant tone of his that suggested to Erwin’s ears that something was off.

“No. Are you jealous of Armin?” Erwin wondered, while Levi lifted his legs up and onto the couch, to curl them at his side.

“I thought it was understood that I do not share.” Levi reminded him, unhappily. All Erwin could talk about since they saw those kids on the mountain was Armin. Armin this. Armin that. Now the brat was occupying the bedroom that had served as a office where together they mapped out military missions and battles.

Everything pertaining to the time they spent together in the war was stored away in a closet. The once office was now a bedroom. It was small, and as would grow, develop interests and expand his personality, he would probably require a larger room. That was something Levi did not want to think about because a larger bedroom would mean moving to a new house. Once he was sure Erwin would choose based on some of Armin’s country-bumpkin ideals.

“So you are jealous.” Erwin mused, as a flattered smirk spread across his face. It was always refreshing for him to hear that Levi was interested in him. “How about this? I will not touch Armin the way I touch you.” Erwin proposed, figuring his proposal would quell some of Levi’s cute jealousy. Levi shifted against Erwin a bit.

“You’re not going to fuck him and make him call you daddy?” Levi pressed doubtfully.

“Good God no!” Erwin exclaimed, appalled by the mere suggestion. “Why would you even suggest that?” Erwin wondered, sickened by the idea of it. Levi sat up, withdrawing from Erwin.

“Anything went in the Underground. These romantic, honorable notions you always talk about are foreign to me.” Levi reminded Erwin.

And just like that, Levi’s jealousy wasn’t cute anymore. Erwin was reminded of the grim childhood Levi had, and could only imagine the horrors he lived through. Levi, in a similar way to Armin, had grown up in an entirely different world from the rest of modern society. He had grown up in a lawless, morals place. A place where Armin might have been raped by his father and that would have been normal life. No one would have questioned it, from where Levi was from.

Knowing that, Erwin wasn’t flattered by Levi’s jealousy anymore. He was horrified by it. “Levi, Armin is a child. He is not able to give consent to sexual acts, and even if he could, I would never touch him the way I touch you because he is my son. In polite society, we don’t have sex with our children. It’s incomprehensible.” Erwin explained as gently as he could to Levi, in a serious tone because as much as Levi understood that this was not the same place he grew up in, it was hard for him to understand why specific things were wrong.

“Consent. You always talk about it. I don’t really get that either, but what ever. If you’re swearing you won’t fuck him, then I don’t care. I want you for myself.” Levi said dismissively, and popped another strawberry into his mouth. He did not make it a point to engage in touchy-feely discussions with an open heart.

“No, I would not touch him like that.” Erwin swore, shifting to face Levi, and set a hand on his thigh. “You are my lover. He is my son. Right now, he needs me whether he wants me or not. When he has recovered, he’ll be a normal teenager who won’t want anything to do with me, and when that day comes, I’ll be yours all over again and the first thing we’ll do is fuck under the stars if that’s what you so want.” Erwin assured Levi, his voice sincere and honest. Levi felt the emotional pressure rising and shifted away from Erwin.

“Fine, fine. What are we going to do about our comrades?” Levi asked, deliberately changing the subject since Erwin’s full attention was on him. He did not know how to respond to Erwin’s passion the way another might. Erwin sat back, a bit thrown off from the change of subject.

“Well, they thought we were killed in battle and rallied forth to avenge us. Our ‘death’ gave them the fuel they needed to push forwards and win the war.” Erwin responded, and gestured to the television with his hand for emphasis, because while their comrades were not the only ones who brought the war to and end, they played a huge, vigilante part in it.

“That’s not what I meant.” Levi muttered as he set the bowl of strawberries on to the metal coffee table. “When they are hailed as heroes on the television, and they will be, they will tell the tale of the late Commander Smith, except he is actually alive, and has taken in a long-lost son.” Levi clarified, and pulled his legs up against his chest to rest his arms on them. “CPS won’t appreciate your war medals, and the glory you’ll receive as they erect your statue in Berlin.” Levi added, having thought of the repercussions this scandal could create for Erwin.

Instead of Erwin making it a point to return to their comrades, he had decided to chase after a boy who just happened to be his son. In a sense, Erwin abandoned his post, and responsibilities to heroically bring Armin to a modern hospital. That was not something CPS was likely to condemn, but if they found out about his history in war, that could be a game changer that neither of them wanted to think about because it wasn’t like Erwin had been with the legally assigned militia. It was a vigilante group.

“Then I will reject glory, and recognition. Armin doesn’t need a father who is found out to be politically questionable.” Erwin decided, clasping his hands together and rested his chin on them.

Once, Erwin had longed to change the world, and had entertained ideas of being renown. Now, all he wanted the opportunity to raise Armin into a young adult. If that meant choosing Armin over war-glory, then there was no contest. He would always choose Armin. That kid had once been part of him in ways that still seemed unfathomable.

How did one little tadpole like sperm become Armin?

Life was fascinating.

“You’re so fucking serious over that kid.” Levi mentioned, staring at Erwin with awe in his voice. The passion Erwin was expressing for some brat was exactly why Levi loved him. Erwin had all of these intriguing morals, concepts, honor and noble notions that drew Levi towards him. Any of these ideals of Erwin would have gotten him killed in the Underground, but, in the city, the heroism seemed to take him far.

“I am, and I am ready to change how I live to accommodate him. Are you willing to change with me? Because this is not going to be easy.” Erwin wondered, needing to know if Levi was going to stay with him, even though he brought a needy kid into the house. If Levi wasn’t willing to change with him, their relationship would reach a stalemate. Levi looked at Erwin from the corners of his eyes.

“With the understanding that I know nothing about brats except that I don’t like them because they are filthy, then, yes. I’ll stay.” Levi assured Erwin, who smiled and pressed his lips to Levi’s mouth. Levi returned the brief, appreciatory kiss.

“Then I’ll let you teach him about deodorant, and flossing his teeth. You let me teach him how to cook, though.” Erwin suggested, setting a hand over Levi’s hand. Levi groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Are you still on about that?” Levi grunted, pulling his arm away from Erwin. “I’ll feed your damn boy a stick of butter. Will that make you shut up?” Levi griped, as he stood up. Erwin shook his head as he chuckled. “Look, I made a bowl of food up for him for when he wakes up. If you need me, call me.” Levi said as he headed for the door. Erwin propped his arm up on the black leather couch and watched him head for the front door.

“Where are you going?” Erwin asked, curious as to where Levi might be going.

“To meet our comrades.” Levi replied as he shoved his feet into shoes, and headed out the door.

Erwin settled against the couch, comforted that Levi loved him enough to take initiative to make sure his war victories, and crimes would not reach the public. He grabbed the remote, and switched the channel over to a world-news channel.

. . .

“Ngh…” Armin groaned as he roused awake, and rolled on to his back, pressing into a soft mattress. He opened his eyes and saw an unfamiliar white ceiling. Armin blinked and propped himself up on his elbows and looked around the room.

The walls were dark blue, with the same black highlights as other parts of the house. The furniture was metal, and black which helped to foster a mature, manly look about the room. There was no wood to be found, nor was their any soft colors to ease Armin’s mind. He was intimidated by the maturity of the room, and vaguely recalled Erwin telling him that he could change the room. Armin briefly wondered how he could manage that, and then pushed himself out of bed.

Everything hurt. Armin grit his teeth and tried to block the pain out as he began to wander around the room, and tentatively poke about the room that he could call his own. There was not much to see, so Armin wandered out of the room and stopped when he found Erwin in the living room, with a laptop propped on his lap. Armin walked softly towards him. Erwin heard Armin’s approach and looked at him with a welcoming smile.

“How do you feel?” Erwin asked, and casually changed tabs on the laptop. Armin blinked at the flicker of the screen, and slowly settled down on the couch, a ways away from Erwin. The little blonde peered warily at the laptop, and set his fists against his knees.

“I suppose I am hungry…and I hurt a bit.” Armin answered, downplaying the rabid hunger gnawing at his stomach, and the all-over pain that made him want to curl up and cry. Erwin had stressed to Armin that he should be honest with him, and the doctors, police officers and whoever else who was thrust at him. He did not want Erwin to know the extent of his problems.

“Then you are in a bit of luck. Levi made you some food before he left. I’ll heat it up for you.” Erwin suggested as he set the laptop on to the table, and then headed into the kitchen. Armin watched Erwin go, and then he scooted over to the laptop that he barely knew how to manipulate. He tentatively used the shitty mouse pad—whoever even invented that—and scrolled the clicker to the abandoned tab.

A news article. Armin recognized the format from all of the vaccination research he and Erwin conducted last night. Was it last night? Maybe it was the night before. Armin didn’t know, nor did he care to focus on it. What he focused on was the article in front of him. It didn’t take him long to realize the article was about _him_. He flipped over to another tab, and found it was a similar article that was all about him again.

From what he could piece together, people he didn’t know, like Jayne, he supposed, were writing about him. They were referencing quotes from the recording that had aired on television, though unlike Jayne, Armin’s personal information was not present. He was just referenced as ‘the wild child who was rescued from the basin.’

There was a comment section near the bottom of the screen where people had a lot of opinions about what they had read. None of the comments seemed to be particularly endearing. Some of the comments used words Armin hadn’t been taught before, and what he did recognize as largely unpleasant.

How could so many people comment or have an opinion about something they knew nothing about?

“Armin.” Startled at the alarm in Erwin’s voice, Armin twisted around to see Erwin coming back with a bowl in his hands. “What are you looking at?” Erwin asked, already eyeing the computer screen with wary eyes.

“What is this!?” Armin shrieked angrily, and pointed an accusatory finger at the computer screen.

“Everyone is desperate to write about you because the world is fascinated with children who…grew up differently than they did.” Erwin responded, choosing his words carefully as he set the bowl on the coffee table.

“Why are you looking at it?” Armin asked, adjusting his tone to a lower apprehensive note.

“I may not have explained this to you before, but what Jayne did to you was wrong. She never should have recorded that meeting, nor should she have had it aired on the television. But she did, and now I, and others are working to protect your privacy.” Erwin responded in a calm, and even tone as he sat down, next to little Armin.

“My privacy?” Armin repeated, hunching his shoulders a bit to withdraw in on himself, uncomfortable with how close Erwin sat next to him.

“Since you are a child according to our laws, your face is not allowed to be shown on television for varying reasons. Your name is not allowed to be displayed on the internet either, which you can see, these articles, while heavily relying on Jayne’s pirated film, they kept you anonymous to their readers. So as much as I don’t like that you are mentioned anywhere on the internet, technically, these journalists are not committing a crime since they could say they were talking about anyone. They were smart. Jayne was not.” Erwin explained, and pulled the lap top on to his lap. Armin shifted a little to peer at the screen.

“Tell me what it says. I—I can read most of it. There’s just some words I don’t recognize, which throws me off.” Armin requested, and pointed at the screen. Erwin furrowed his eyebrows together as he debated whether or not to comply with Armin’s request.

“Alright.” Erwin relented, and went over the articles with Armin, who wanted to know what was being said about him and why. There were more important concepts to fill Armin’s head with, but since he was interested in the articles, that’s what Erwin focused on. Armin stressed  over the fact that people he didn’t know wanted to make an internet sensation out of him, as if he had a tail.

But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he had always been a fascination to people. The village kids had often regarded him as weird, while the adults had appreciated him in ways they hadn’t liked the other children. They said he was mature, yet they still treated him like another ordinary kid. So why would this world be less curious about him?

_I’ve always been a freak_. Armin lamented and grabbed the bowl Erwin had brought for him. He began eating the stew Erwin had brought for him, that apparently Levi had made. “There’s meat in this?” Armin admired with pleasant surprise. He couldn’t remember the last time he had the pleasure of eating meat. If there had ever been a time.

“Of course. You’ll never regain your strength without consuming protein.” Erwin assured Armin, and brought the Youtube screen on to the laptop screen. Armin began stew-fishing for the small meat chunks, plucking them out from the broth with the spoon.

As he ate, Erwin re-introduced Armin to the video Jayne illegally took of Armin, and began to explain why what she did was illegal, and  how he and others were working to ban the video from the internet. Erwin explained that once something was aired on television, or the internet, the video or clip was difficult to remove. Youtube would ban videos that featured guns, but not videos where children were brutally assaulted in a school-fight video, despite the parent’s requests. Armin felt a bit better that Erwin and some of the other people he met were trying to protect his privacy.

In the age of technology, privacy was minimal, and once something became an internet sensation, privacy was gone. Erwin assured Armin that he wasn’t going to give up so soon, and took the time to explain the dangers of the internet. If Armin was ever going to flit about on the computer, he needed to know how to protect himself from social justice warriors, internet trolls, and pedophiles who gathered by the thousands on dating websites, chat rooms, and children websites. Armin already knew about pedophiles—Igor—and was not interested in ever meeting another one.

“This tastes good.” Armin commented at one point about the stew, and drank a lot of the broth as Erwin continued the use-the-internet-carefully lesson. Erwin talked. Armin listened, and only rarely asked questions. He was alert, and attentive, until he wasn’t.

“What’s wrong, Armin? You look dazed.” Erwin asked, noticing Armin was moving slower, and appeared groggy.

“Mmm.” Armin murmured in response, and idly scratched at his arm. “I don’t hurt anymore. Maybe the meat was a good idea after all.” Armin wondered, and scratched his knee next. He then settled tiredly against Erwin, who he had kept his distance from previously. Erwin raised a questioning eyebrow and watched the unbalanced way Armin settled against him, as if he felt light-headed. Erwin glanced to the broth, and had the worrying suspicion that Levi did something to it.

“Tell me if you feel funny at all, okay?” Erwin told Armin, and wrapped a arm around Armin’s little waist protectively. Armin nodded, and curled his legs underneath him.

“I feel pretty tired. Can we keep a candle on? I don’t really like the dark…” Armin requested, becoming more drowsy. Erwin opened his mouth to explain that candles weren’t necessary with electricity, then decided the point would be mute right now and opted to nod.

“Yeah. I’ll keep a light on for you.” Erwin promised, and loosened his hold on Armin so he could get up, and wander off to bed. When Armin did not move, Erwin scooped Armin up into his arms and carried him into the bedroom. Armin uncharacteristically nestled against Erwin, and smiled softly.

“I don’t hurt.” Armin repeated quietly, and shifted a little in Erwin’s arms. “I kinda feel happy too.” Armin added, then slid his hand under his shirt to idly scratch at his stomach. The shirt pulled up enough to show fading bruises, from one of the many times that he had been abused. Erwin frowned at the bruises, and made a mental note to have Armin relax tomorrow. Armin sighed breathily, and lethargically pushed his hand under the pillow, to further nest against it.  He did not seem to have a care in the world.

_Damn it. Levi definitely gave him something_. Erwin cursed inwardly and carried Armin to the little bedroom, where he laid him down on the bed. _I am going to have to have a talk with him_. Erwin decided, and tucked the blanket under Armin so he wouldn’t get cold during the night. He then left the light on as he headed back into the living room to watch television while he waited for Levi to return home.

The laptop had been abandoned on the coffee table, with the tabs left open to the articles that featured the ‘Wild Child.’ Erwin sat down on the couch, brought the laptop close, and continued to scour the internet for similar articles, to make sure Armin’s privacy was not compromised anywhere but Youtube. He was still dealing with Youtube and their fucked up priorities that were possibly worse than Tumblr and Facebook for their non-existent Russian hackers hunt. Erwin knew a lot about the world, and he knew there were a lot of secrets that were kept amongst the military, elite, and the government, but he was not a conspiracy theorist.

If Erwin had his way, he would raise Armin to be open minded, with a healthy, not a paranoid, skepticism of the government because governments were run by people. Erwin and Armin had already seen how cruel people could be, like Jayne. Jayne was some bitch who grew up in America and became a journalist-on-the-go. Erwin found that much on her and took the night to look more up about her. All of her journalism he could find on the internet was legally questionable. It seemed like the reason she got away with dirty journalism was _because_ she was a ‘social justice warrior.’

When Erwin researched more ‘social justice warriors’ he found a lot of their articles to be legally questionable. It seemed that in America specifically, there was a growing trend of hostile ‘social justice warriors’ who as long as they were fighting on a specific political side, they could get away with breaking a lot of rules. It was no wonder then that after growing up in that type of lawless environment, Jayne would waltz into Germany expecting to cruise along without a problem.

What Jayne did not know was that she messed with the wrong kid. Erwin was not going to let Jayne get away with humiliating Armin. He did not care that Armin probably worshipped a fucking potato. If that was going to make Armin happy, Erwin would eventually nudge him to a slightly less insane religious body, and all the while, making sure people wouldn’t make fun of him. This was not America, but, damn it, Erwin wasn’t going to let his son be bullied over his belief in a harmless religion.

At least, Erwin guessed the religion was harmless. He hadn’t taken the time to ask Armin all about it, nor did he care to make it a vital talking point unless Armin brought it up. Currently, Armin needed to learn about electricity, technology, and would probably need to be taught to look both ways before crossing a street. Armin needed to also understand the difference between being cautious, and judgmental. Stereotypes did exist for a reason. Armin, being a little fair-skinned boy would be wise to stay away from those who created the Peter Piper song of tears. That was being cautious. A judgmental person would condemn those people for taking the fair-skinned boys as slaves.

These thoughts resided in Erwin as he mulled over them, and waited for Levi to return home. The moment the door opened, Erwin set the laptop on the coffee table, stood up, and headed to the front door where Levi was entering the home, followed by familiar faces. Erwin stopped, recognizing members from the military he led, allies and friends. Hanji and Moblit were two of them from his own regiment. Nile Dawk, and Dot Pyxis were amongst them.

“Hey, everyone’s here to see the brat you’re throwing your career away for.” Levi announced, shutting the door behind the men and supposed woman that made victory possible. Erwin smiled politely as he grit his teeth, and watched some of the people salute him properly. There was a chorus of ‘Sir’ from some of them, while others approached him and greeted him as an old friend.

_Apparently, I’ll have to yell at Levi later_. Erwin told himself, and gestured for his friends and comrades to sit with him in the living room. “This way, gentlemen.” Erwin encouraged, and settled down on the armchair, that symbolized the throne of death he created from his plans and ambitions. Levi sat down on the arm of the chair and crossed his arms over his chest, acting as Erwin’s faithful guard dog.

“It’s good to see you alive, ‘ol man.” Dot Pyxis commented, folding his own arms over his chest as he sat in the middle of the couch, while Nile and Moblit sat on either side of him. Hanji danced from foot to foot.

“Ooh so which way is the bo—bathroom—I mean, bathroom, again?” Hanji enthused excitedly, wanting nothing more than to inspect the boy who melted Erwin’s heart.

“It’s down the hall and to the _right_. But if you so much as touch Armin’s door, you will not be welcome in my house any longer. He needs space, and privacy.” Erwin told Hanji, with the warning clear in his tone. Hanji stopped dancing, and deflated.

“About him. Levi told us you’re his biological father, correct?” Dot stated, lifting one arm over the other.

“How is that possible?” Nile wondered, since none of them had ever seen Erwin even take interest in a woman before. They all assumed that Erwin had some sordid love affair with Levi, although none of them had wanted to inquire about that.

“I wondered about that too.” Moblit spoke up, voicing his own opinion that mirrored Niles.

“How indeed.” Dot mused, pressing his knuckles to his chin.

“I met a girl many years ago in Potato Town. I told Armin I loved her because he’s a child. Children need stability. The truth of the matter is that it was a brief fling. I never expected to see her again. Nor did I ever expect her to give birth to my child.” Erwin informed them briefly, since the sordid details were not necessary.

“Does this mean that you’re not gay?” Hanji quipped loudly, having abandoned her guise of needing the bathroom to get to Armin. Levi scowled at her and threw a pillow at her. She gasped, ducked, then laughed manically.

“When we became separated, I found myself in the mountains near Potato Town. We—” Erwin gestured towards Levi with his hand, “—saw two boys scouring the mountain for edible plants—” This was a lie. No one else needed to know that Armin premeditated a murder. “—since the Russian soldiers occupied their lands, food was scarce. I had not known that at the time, but when we followed the boys back to Potato Town, we devised a strategy to set the town free, and Armin just happened to need help I was willing to provide him.” Erwin explained, telling the story the way he had rehearsed in his own mind, and to everyone else he had encountered since being back in town. It was as if Hanji had never interrupted him with inane questions.

“And were they really hurting the towns people?” Moblit queried, having heard from Levi that the soldiers had been unkind to the citizens of Potato Town.

“Some of them were cruel, while others were kind. A Russian gave his life to protect Armin. I intend to meet with that family personally, and thank them for his sacrifice.” Erwin answered, and listened for any sign of Armin being awake, and uncomfortable. The rest of the house was still silent, which implicated that Armin was sleeping in some drug-induced lethargy. _Fucking Levi_.  

“I see. So you’re intent to raise this brat? Where is he?” Dot asked, as he glanced around the living room for any signs of a child.

“May we meet him?” Moblit wondered, while Hanji straightened and waved her arms, practically foaming at the damn mouth.

“Yeah, yeah, we all want to meet him!” Hanji insisted, loudly. Levi looked for another pillow to throw at her, but finding none, he pulled his shoe off and threw that at her. Hanji barely dodged the shoe, and laughed nervously. Levi could only handle her antics for so long.

“Stay off of the damn kid’s dick.” Levi snapped with warning, because Hanji hadn’t understood it the first time. Armin did not need to be molested by a fucking nut-job.

“As I said, Armin is sleeping. No one is permitted to see him.” Erwin repeated himself firmly, because while he was willing to talk about Armin, he was not about to let Armin be the center of another circus show.

“Then how do we know he even exists? You want us to lie for you. We need proof.” Dot pointed out, leaning back against the couch. Erwin sat up a little straighter, hearing what Dot wasn’t saying.

“Fine. I’ll open the door. No one is going inside.” Erwin relented, and stood up. Hanji sprinted for the bedroom, having deducted Armin must be in the once-office. Levi rolled his eyes and followed after her and grabbed her arm, to hold her back.

“Calm your damn self.” Levi warned, not wanting Erwin to get mad that some ‘woman’ was poking and prodding at his son. Moblit grabbed her other arm, already knowing how devious and impulsive she was.

Erwin slowly pushed open the bedroom door and firmly gripped the doorframe, acting as a barrier between Armin, and them. Hanji started shrieking the moment she saw a blonde-haired child was indeed sleeping on the bed. Levi and Moblit held her tighter, but it took all of their strength to restrain the bitch.

“Well I’ll be damned. You do have someone to protect.” Dot commented, cowed by the reality that Erwin really had a child to love now. He had never thought that Erwin was capable of the purest, most innocent love known to mankind, yet, there Armin was, vulnerable on the bed, and unware while Erwin stood guard over him the way a father was meant to.

“I can expect your secrecy then.” Erwin said as he began to shut the door.

“Yes Sir.” Moblit agreed, content to lie for Erwin, if it meant they could protect a kid.

Too many kids had fallen during the war, on all sides as part of the casualties associated with war. And while the war was over, there was a lot of bitter feelings from the losing countries, and those who never wanted the war to begin with. If Erwin was hailed as the most intelligent commander, he would be glorified, and targeted, which meant that Armin would have a huge name to live up to, and he would be targeted as well because of who his father was.

No one wanted that type of a life for Armin.

Their prized Commander would be left out of the books, and the media. Erwin would be lost to history. He wouldn’t gain the recognition he deserved. And all because he wanted to play Daddy. Dot and Nile couldn’t quite understand why Erwin would throw glory away, but damn it, they respected him for his choice none the less.

“Consider our loyalty yours.” Nile commented, slapping a hand over Hanji’s mouth to shut her up. “Now, we’ll take her with us, so you can attend to him.” Nile stated, and gestured to the bedroom where rustling could be heard. He then helped Moblit and Dot drag Hanji out of the house now that their curiosity and questions had been answered.

“Hm?” Erwin turned, and noticed Armin stirring on the bed, unsettled either by his own mind, or the presence of others.

“Is he waking?” Levi inquired as he stretched to peer over Erwin’s shoulder.

“I don’t think so.” Erwin responded, although he was already heading towards the boy. Armin scratched at his chest sleepily, and curled tighter against himself, in his slumber. Even in sleep he was itchy and uncomfortable. “Levi, what did you put into his stew?” Erwin asked as he re-tucked Armin in, to make sure he would be warm.

“It’s called Heaven.” Levi answered wittily, leaning against the doorframe as he shoved a hand into his pants pocket. Erwin stared at Levi, unimpressed. Levi pulled out an orange pill bottle and flashed it to Erwin. “Percocet.” Levi clarified, and rose an eyebrow at Erwin’s groan. Apparently, Armin wasn’t the only one Erwin would have to educate.

“Look.” Erwin began, as he tried to suppress his anger, and instinct to yell at Levi for feeding the kid a opiate. He knew Levi had just been trying help. “If a pill was not prescribed to Armin by a doctor, then he can not legally take it. You or I could get into a lot of legal trouble if the pill is found in Armin’s system.” Erwin explained as gently, and patiently as he could, with all the restraint he could muster.

“Fault me if you want to, but you know damn well that that kid hasn’t smiled once since we met him. He’s smiling now. Why? He’s.not.in.pain.” Levi defended, emphasizing his point, and stood straighter, and shoved the bottle back into his pants.

“Be that as it may, Armin could overdose and die, or respond to pills in ways we aren’t prepared for. I would appreciate it if you refrained from playing Doctor.” Erwin stated, thinking of how fragile Armin was. He understood Levi’s point—more medicine existed in the world then ever before, and yet children couldn’t take pain medication, even for broken bones. Pregnant women couldn’t even get epidurals either.

There wasn’t a point to having extensive medicine if one couldn’t use it. And if CPS was not involved, Erwin would have let Levi play doctor. He damn well would have done anything he could to make Armin comfortable. But he had to play by CPS’s rules, and that meant that Armin needed to suffer for a few days until the pain eased on its own. And hospitals wondered why some people didn’t have faith in them.

“It’s just fucking bullshit. I know what I’m doing, you know. I didn’t give him a whole pill. But fine. Just fucking fine.” Levi ranted, and stalked off down the hall.

Erwin sighed, and chased after him, knowing this was going to be a long night, wrought with trying to make Levi agree to disagree.


	13. Survivor Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin attempts to settle in to his new home, but finds it difficult to be comfortable in a foreign home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention this was a slow burn story? 
> 
> In the last chapter, Armin was brought to Erwin's home. He slept, and now in this chapter, this is Armin's first real day at the new home. He's not sure what to think or do and has a lot of conflicting thoughts. Erwin and Levi both try to help Armin in the ways they know how to do, and there's going to be visits from professionals. 
> 
> It may not be an exciting chapter, but it's pretty important all the same.

War on Titan

Chapter 13: Survivor Potato

The rule of the crack fox was that there were no rules except those he created himself to set him apart from other criminals. This was the rule that Levi had lived by since he could remember. Now, Erwin wanted him to live by laws that many men had created, and acquiesced to, all to accommodate one  child.

_Fuck me_. Levi thought as he placed a lock over the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. It was only eight in the morning, and not only was Levi awake, putting locks on anything Armin could potentially get into, he was wondering if any of this was actually necessary. Levi had played with knives and shot people in the Underground when he was six, and he thought that he turned out okay.

Being ‘humanity’s strongest weapon’ had to count for something, didn’t it? Levi could even remember running around barefoot, getting scrapes and blisters on the soles of his feet. There had been times he stepped on broken glass, and had ate questionable foods just to survive. It was a hard life, but he didn’t have any of these ‘allergies’ all the new-aged children had. Levi didn’t have any of the ‘new-age’ problems, nor could he understand them.

Nor could he quite understand why a child in agonizing pain could not be given pain medication that actually dulled the pain. What Levi did understand was that Erwin was serious about raising Armin, and for him to do that, Levi couldn’t jeopardize his chance to do so by being humane, and giving the brat a small piece of Percocet. He was convinced the pill wouldn’t hurt the kid. But, being that Erwin was his lover, he wasn’t going to fight with him about what was best for Armin.

And what did Levi care anyways? Armin was not his responsibility, yet Levi found himself at the Health Foods market before nine, seeking out nutritional shit to feed to Armin. It wasn’t like Erwin was going to cook. Sure, Erwin tried to cook sometimes. He could manage sandwiches, various forms of eggs and potatoes, and even barbequing simple meats on the grill. But he didn’t have the knack for cooking that came naturally to Levi.

Maybe the cooking shows had had a lasting impression on Levi. Maybe it was the way Erwin smiled appreciatively whenever Levi created a tasty meal. Regardless, Levi was intent to fill the house with a wide array of food to experiment with because the only thing he knew about children other than they were all brats, was that they were picky eaters. But when they did eat, they were happy. And if Armin was happy, then Erwin would be happy.

Shoving food at Armin seemed to be a plausible way to prove to Erwin that Levi _did_ care about him.  That’s what he figured, so he filled the cart up with food, went to the self-check out line, paid for the over-priced food, and then loaded the jeep up with the packages.

All the while Levi swore that if the jeep broke down, he was done. Fucking done. But with some luck, the jeep had no problems for once, and when Levi arrived home, he gathered the grocery bags up, and brought the food inside the house. He could hear the shower running which meant Erwin must be awake, and was showering the hospital off of him.

If they could only get Armin to bathe the hospital off of him, Levi would be pleased. He was guessing Armin was not awake yet. Maybe the Percocet had been a bit much for Armin, or he was just that exhausted from laying around in the hospital bed for two days. In either case, Levi put away the food he knew he was not going to need, separating them into the respective cabinets, fridge, pantry, and or freezer. He then began preparing a spinach salad, one that would be topped with a blended walnut, ginger, and basil Pâté to spread on top of the dark green leaves. He debated on what meat to add to the salad, since humans required meat to function properly.

Turkey. Small, thin, chopped turkey bits were added to the salad. It was a lean meat. It wouldn’t be hard, nor hefty on Armin’s little stomach. It also was not as questionable as modernized chicken meats. If Armin would like it, Levi wasn’t sure. He was, however, sure that Erwin would stare apprehensively at the meal before trying it.

Inevitably, Erwin would try the meal for the sole reason that he loved Levi. Armin might not be that adventurous. Levi would find out soon what type of eater Armin was. And as Levi was finishing the salad, he heard a door creak open, followed by hesitant, and deliberately soft footsteps. Erwin was not quiet like that. Armin was awake, and if Levi had to guess, the kid was seeking out a bathroom, or food.

“Uh…” Levi looked up, and saw that their sleeping beauty had awoken, and was poking about. “You’re…Levi, right?” Armin tentatively wondered, keeping distance between himself, and Levi in case he decided to flee. Levi nodded shortly and finished spooning some of the salad into a smaller bowl.

“You hungry, Kid?” Levi offered, and held the bowl out to Armin. Armin turned his shoulders in, closer to his body, expressing his hesitation towards the kind gesture.

“Will this make me itch too?” Armin questioned, clever enough to realize that he only started itching last night after he ate some of the stew. He hadn’t been able to eat much of anything lately, and after last night, he stared skeptically at the salad.

“No. I won’t give you any more Percocet.” Levi assured the cautious kid, who relented after a moment and grabbed the bowl with a trembling hand. Armin hadn’t gotten his hands to stop shaking since he had woken up in the hospital.

From what he remembered, the doctor had said that his hands were in a state of shock, and trauma from the horrors Armin had endured. The only good news was that his hands were supposed to heal, and become steady again with time. With that in mind, Armin set the bowl down on the counter, and sucked in a deep breath.

No one gave food away for free.

That was one lesson Armin had learned the hard way. He approached Levi slowly, and noticed for the first time that the man was short. Armin sure hoped that Levi’s lack of height was evident on other parts of his body, because Boris had been tall, and long in ways Armin did not appreciate. He closed the distance between them, and pressed his lips against Levi’s mouth, catching him off guard.

As startling as Armin’s action was, Levi was not inclined to do something about it until Armin’s hand groped him. Levi smacked Armin’s hand away, and stepped back against the counter. “What the fuck are you doing?” Levi demanded to know, because what ever Armin thought he was doing had to never happen again. Armin was Erwin’s son. Levi wanted Erwin. Not a boy who looked like him.

“Is…that not what you want?” Armin queried as he furrowed his eyebrows at Levi, perplexed that he pulled away from him. He glanced to the food, then looked back to Levi, and just like that, Levi knew what the brat was doing because he had seen it time and time again in the Undergound.

“Shit, Kid. Did they withhold food from you until you sucked them off?” Levi wondered aloud, with a raised eyebrow. He knew Erwin would be horrified at the thought, but for Levi, that method had ensured he lived through childhood. Armin frowned as his face darkened, which was enough for Levi to realize his sordid hunch was right.

“Do…do you not want me to lick it like a ‘lollipop?” Armin asked, shifting uncomfortably from where he stood. Levi almost laughed at the crude innuendo. Erwin had said the kid was fourteen? Surely, he could benefit from using proper terminology, and not childish language that would have appalled Erwin.

“I am not into kids.” Levi answered as he draped a arm around Armin’s shoulders, and gave him a small push towards the food plate. “Now, you go eat, and when you see Erwin again, tell him what you said to me. He’ll tell you everything wrong with that statement.” Levi encouraged, nudging the boy to the salad. Armin ground his heels against the floor.

“Wait—wait….! You wouldn’t…he wouldn’t…I don’t…” Armin sputtered, his voice rising to a panicked pitch as he stammered. Levi rose an eyebrow at him, then heard the bathroom door open. Erwin stepped out, with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Hey, Erwin. Your kid’s freaking out.” Levi called, to gain Erwin’s attention. Erwin stopped and turned to them. “He thinks that to earn food, he needs to ‘lick my lollipop.’” Levi repeated Armin’s words to Erwin, who would know what to do about Armin’s fucked up mindset. “Not that I am inclined to turn down a blowjob, like fuck, but, he’s a bit young for my tastes. You know I like them tall, and bulky.” Levi added, lifting his arm up and away from Armin’s trembling shoulders. Erwin practically dropped his towel, and paled with abject horror.

“Good God, Armin. Is that why you were hesitant to take the food offered to you?” Erwin questioned, advancing towards them briskly. In the hospital, Erwin had had to encourage Armin to eat, three times a day, most of which Armin had still refused. Erwin had thought that taking Armin home would make him more apt to take food. It hadn’t. Armin stepped away, retreating from the two adults.

“Y-yeah.” Armin answered quietly, shifting nervously from foot to foot. Every night he had been allowed to eat dinner, especially if it had been prepared, Igor would then take what he wanted from Armin. In the day, once in the morning or during lunch time, Boris would have him suck him off. A week of that had left a lasting impression on Armin, one that he knew wasn’t right, but which he couldn’t shake either. Levi leaned back against the counter. Erwin sighed, and ran a hand through his wet hair.

“Listen, Armin. You never have to lick another ‘lollipop’ again. What they made you do for food is degrading, and criminal. They would be in prison, if they weren’t already dead.” Erwin stated, keeping his voice firm, but gentle so he didn’t scare the already timid boy. Prison was a concept that Erwin had only briefly explained before, so Armin simply frowned.

“They…would be shunned?” Armin questioned, keeping to himself. He didn’t quite trust these men, nor their intentions towards him. Armin was all alone, in an unfamiliar place. He had been harmed in his own home. Why wouldn’t he be hurt in someone else’s home? They seemed to be nice people. Armin didn’t want to hope more than he already did because when he wished for someone to rescue him while he was being abused, no help had come. He had had to save himself. No amount of sacrificed potatoes had kept him out of harms way.

“Is that what happened to bad people in your village?” Erwin inquired, figuring the shunning had something to do with the brief prison chat he had with Armin the other day.

“Yeah. I mean, no one was bad…but if they spoke out against the Potato gods, they’d be shunned. No one would talk to them for awhile. Shunning wasn’t what anyone wanted to go through.” Armin explained quietly, and glanced timidly towards Levi. _Is he going to tell Erwin about the kiss and will I get in trouble for it_? Levi noticed Armin’s apprehensive stare. Armin looked away hastily, and felt shame dirty his face. _It’s not like I wanted to kiss him. I just thought I was supposed to because…because_ …Armin’s thoughts trailed off as he remembered a time where his grandfather cooked meals for him, without expecting anything in return.

Were those days long gone, or were they about to come back?

“Prison is a way to shun, and punish people who commit crimes. A crime occurs when the law is broken. What you need to understand is that by law, you are not old enough to consensually engage in any type of sex. Whoever forced you to lick their ‘lollipop’ was committing a sex crime against you. Neither I, nor Levi will ever ask you to do anything sexual for us.” Erwin promised, as honestly as he could. He wasn’t sure Armin would believe him, and if Armin chose not to, he wouldn’t blame him for his doubt. Armin had been abused. It would be hard for him to trust another.

“And Kid, if anyone asks you to suck their cock again, or if they try to bend you over a counter, stab their eye out with a pencil.” Levi added, because he doubted anyone had taught Armin to defend himself before. Armin tensed uncomfortably at the thought of violence and stared at the ground.

“Ugh. Levi!” Erwin groaned, disagreeing with the specific language Levi chose to use around Armin. Levi looked to Erwin, then looked back to Armin.

“I learned to fight when I was five. It won’t hurt you to learn how to defend yourself when you feel better. Now eat before the salad gets soggy.” Levi said, and gestured with his hand to the abandoned plate on the counter. Armin looked at Levi warily, then hesitantly stepped around them to take the plate. He then wandered to the table, and sat down, though he kept a careful eye on his new guardians.

“Salad for breakfast?” Erwin questioned, raising an eyebrow at the larger bowl of salad behind Levi. He peered at it, and frowned with disproval.  Armin needed meat. He needed Calcium.

“At least try it.” Levi asserted, as he pointed towards the meal he put together with Armin in mind. The spinach, walnuts, and basil were rumored to be pain relievers. He hoped there was truth to the little old wives tales because Armin wasn’t going to get any help from modern medicine.

“Fine.” Erwin grunted, relenting enough to grab the large salad tosser spoon-fork thing. He scooped some of the salad up, and brought it to his mouth. One bite told Erwin what he needed to know about the meal; The ginger gave the salad a bit of a bite that he hadn’t been expecting, but it seemed to add flavor to the otherwise nutty, yet bland salad. “Hm.” Erwin mused over flavor for a moment, and figured this meal might be a good meal for Armin after all.

A lot of primeval villages did not have access to certain spices and seasonings. Potato Town had been no different—Erwin and Levi had learned that from investigating the kitchens of a few houses. Erwin figured this salad would be a good choice after all to introduce Armin to flavor, without the flavor being overwhelming. As much as Erwin knew Armin liked the Mcdonald’s meal, he also knew that part of the reason he never finished it was because the flavors were vastly overwhelming.

“You researched potential pain relievers?” Erwin marveled, noticing a paper with small, yet widely spaced and slantless handwriting that he recognized as Levi. He picked the paper up, and read inspected the recipe closer, and took a moment to appreciate Levi’s initiative to help Armin in a way that wouldn’t alarm CPS or the doctors because next to each ingredient was a note on what health benefit they were supposed to have.

“See? Stop doubting me already.” Levi deadpanned as he crossed his arms over his chest, unamused that Erwin hadn’t thought that he was capable of cooking for a kid. Erwin relaxed his shoulders, relieved that Levi had listened to him last night. No more unprescribed Percocet for Armin. Percocet Erwin didn’t even know how Levi obtained, nor did he want to. They were lovers, but their relationship worked because they were respectful of each other’s space.

“You’re right.” Erwin asserted as he leaned forwards, and set his large hands on Levi’s arms. Levi glanced at him, paying attention now that the man was admitting his misguided judgement. “I was wrong to doubt your parenting skills.” Erwin apologized, and pressed his forehead to Levi’s. Levi huffed stubbornly, and felt his cheeks tinge pink with heat.

The noise of a fork clattering on to the table startled both adults. They both looked over at Armin, who was staring at them with large, apprehensive eyes. _At least he ate some of the salad_. Erwin noted to himself as he began to step towards Armin. “What’s wrong, Armin?” Erwin questioned, while Armin hastily looked away, and ducked his head. Levi flung a arm out in front of Erwin, to stop him from getting closer to the kid. Erwin looked to Levi, and saw the white towel in his hand.

_Oh_. Erwin quickly took the towel from Levi, and wordlessly wrapped it back around his waist. He then retreated to his bedroom, to put proper clothes on.

“How did the Percocet do you?” Levi inquired, deliberately changing the subject so Armin wouldn’t dwell on the thought that he just saw his biological father naked. Armin peered at Levi through the hair he let hang over his eyes.

“Uh…it…made me itchy…but I felt good otherwise…” Armin muttered, shifting nervously in his seat. He assumed Levi was referring to the meal last night. “It tasted good too.” Armin added as an after thought, though he wasn’t looking at Levi. He was keeping to himself, in that withdrawn manner of his.

“Ugh. No, Percocet isn’t something you eat. You ate stew last night. In the stew was the Percocet.” Levi explained a bit impatiently, as he pulled out a chair and plopped on to it. Armin tensed, thinking about the poison he had put into Igor’s food. “Medicine. It was medicine.” Levi clarified, seeing the tight, nervous frown plastered on Armin’s face. Armin shifted a bit again, and pushed the plate away from him, having lost what little appetite he had had.

“Like the poison.” Armin murmured, folding his arms on to the table. He did not regret poisoning Igor who had ravaged him brutally on a daily basis for a week. What Armin did regret was having to sully his hands with Igor’s blood. Maybe it was childish of him, but he had hoped someone else would save him, and drive a blade through that fucker’s heart. No one had come to save him, and that thought weighed on his shoulders.

“Good job with that, Kid. You’re a survivor.” Levi praised, as he leaned back against the chair. He never would have guessed just by looking at Armin that he was capable of murder. Even now, the little blonde’s frail body, and vulnerable big, blue eyes were not indicators of a masked killer. Levi thought Armin would have been a bullied geek, not a silent killer. And in some ways, Armin’s innocent appearance was alarming to Levi’s sensibilities and caution sensors. But he would be damned if he ever let the boy knew that.

“You’re not going to tell me that there was another way?” Armin wondered, with a hint of hope in his voice. His own brain often told him that there had been another option, he just overlooked it. Surely murder hadn’t been the only card he had left in his hands?

“You made your choice.” Levi responded simply, and propped one leg on the other. “All you can do is move forwards.” Levi told Armin, and rested an elbow on the table. Like Armin, he had made many unsavory choices that cost people their lives. Right or wrong, choices had been made and they couldn’t be redone. Life was not a Nintendo 64. Armin seemed to understand that too because he relaxed a bit in his seat.

“I did not know what else to do.” Armin admitted, figuring he should try to trust the people he would be around a lot from now on. He was in their world, and honestly, Armin wanted to trust them, because he wanted to belong to a family. Armin had wanted to have his own family back from the moment he lost them, but over the years, he had realized, and later accepted that his brief, traditional life was gone.

It was a ghost that as much as he reached for it, he couldn’t grasp it. Armin could grasp Erwin. His biological father. What would come of putting trust in Erwin, Armin did not know, but he wanted to find out. And since Levi had some type of friendship with Erwin enough for them to live together, Armin wanted to trust Levi too.

So far, Levi had prepared a salad for him and had not forced him to perform a sexual act in return. That had intrigued Armin enough to be open with him. Erwin too had not solicited Armin for sex when Boris and Igor had. Amongst the soldiers from the first day they invaded the village. Armin didn’t know most of their names, nor did he remember most of their faces. He just remembered how their cocks plunged into his body, and tore him apart from the inside out.

“Erwin said you’re clever. Stick with that.” Levi advised the kid as he stood up, and grabbed the abandoned salad bowl. Armin tensed, and reached for the bowl.

“I—I’ll clean that!” Armin stammered hastily as he clambered out of his chair on instinct to take the bowl from Levi. Levi stretched his arm out above him, and although he was barely taller than Armin, Armin retracted his own hand, feeling as if he couldn’t actually reach the bowl after all.

“No. I wash dishes.”  Levi asserted as he turned towards the sink, pulling the bowl close. “You go…I don’t know. Be a kid.” Levi instructed Armin dismissively, with a shooing gesture, and then headed for the sink. Armin blinked and furrowed his eyebrows together with confusion. He just stood there lost as Levi scraped the wasted lettuce leaves into the garbage can.

_Be a kid_? Armin wondered, stuck on that command. _I don’t know how to be anyone but me_. Armin thought, and lingered awkwardly in place. The only time he had had fun was when he was with Eren, or when he read a book. Eren was not here, and the books Armin had noticed in the living room were not his to touch. The only other thing Armin knew how to do well was work.

Cleaning, farming and taking care of animals had taken up his entire day. Now, he didn’t know what to do. The house appeared clean—Armin did not see dust haunting the corners of the house. There were no animals to care for, and the garden in the front of the house seemed well cared for so if there was a garden in the back, Armin assumed it was taken care of too.

“Armin. What’s wrong?” Startled, Armin looked up, and saw Erwin had returned, and was dressed in jeans and a button-up shirt. He had a concerned look on his face that made Armin want to take comfort in him.

“I don’t know what to do.” Armin answered, stressed out by how alone, and out-of-place he felt. If he had been at home, he would have been comfortable enough, even with these two strangers, to read a book, or do his own chores. He looked down at his bandaged, trembling hands and became more distraught with the thought of how he had been forced to work the gardens with raw, bleeding hands.

As much comfort as tending a garden or doing laundry might bring to him right now that he was away from everything, Armin also couldn’t imagine actually performing any of the work. The image of his hands bleeding into the dirt he dug, and sifted through came to his head—and then his eyes began to well up with fresh tears. Now that he was safe, and felt as if Erwin might protect him, Armin was remembering some of the horrible conditions he was forced to endure over the last week.

When Armin had been in the hospital, he had been to overwhelmed to truly think about the horrors he suffered. Strangers had repeatedly ventured into the room to ask him questions that he did not want to answer.

“Come here.” Erwin coaxed gently and wrapped his arm around Armin’s shoulders to pull him close. For a moment, Armin allowed himself to be drawn close, then second-guessed his want for comfort and pulled away from Erwin.

“No.” Armin snapped forcefully as he stepped back, putting distance between them. The panicked loneliness in his voice was gone, and in its place was anger. “Don’t touch me.” Armin commanded, as he wrapped his arms around himself. Levi paused, and looked over his shoulder at the irrational boy.

“Alright, I won’t touch you.” Erwin swore, lifting his hands up in surrender. “Just calm down—”

“Calm down? Calm down!?” Armin shrieked, raising his voice because he felt as if his feelings were being belittled, or dismissed. Erwin briefly wondered if he had had a daughter instead of a son, and then reminded himself that Armin must have pent-up emotions that he hadn’t been able to release for a long time. He was exploding in a different way than he did last night. Neither of which was Armin. Erwin understood that, even though he was still trying to figure _Armin_ out.

_Have I seen Armin at all_? Erwin wondered, and then decided that he hadn’t, because the times Armin clung to him, and relied on him for protection or comfort, that was the five-year old Armin that had awoken from the sustained abuse, and foreign lands. The Armin that sobbed, and dry heaved into a toilet for almost two hours last night was a mature enough Armin to realize what he had endured was horrific. Right now, this angry, withdrawn Armin was the one who had been personally attacked by strangers. None of these sides were the daily Armin that Erwin wanted to meet.

“You.weren’t.there!” Armin yelled, enunciating each accusing word concisely, to deliver the maximum effect he wanted.  “He was _always_ touching me!” Armin blurted, and continued his desperate, emotional outburst. “Boris told him not to come into the room in the morning, but he came every morning, and all I could do was bite the pillow because if I knew that if Boris caught him in my room again, I’d be in trouble too.” Armin ranted bitterly, goaded by his raw emotions that he hadn’t been able to sort out, nor mull over yet.

“Shit.” Levi muttered under his breath, and set a plate on the counter to let it air-dry. He turned and propped his elbows on to the counter, to see how Erwin would respond to the mouthy boy. Personally, Levi would have smacked him, but he doubted that would be Erwin’s response. Erwin had a knack for being patient in ways that Levi couldn’t begin to comprehend.

“You’re right. I was not there.” Erwin conceded, in a calm, and patient tone when Armin stopped expressing his frustrations with words. Armin was angry, and bitter. No one had pushed Igor off of him. That was what Armin was telling him. Fuck, the kid had a right to be upset, so If Erwin couldn’t comfort Armin with the touch of a father, he would comfort him with words.

“Is it wise to encourage him?” Levi asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow at his lover. Erwin lifted a hand as a gesture to tell Levi to stop intervening with his work. A mouthy kid like Armin would have been slapped in the underground. He would have been told to swallow his emotions and be man enough to move the fuck on. But here Erwin was, letting the boy yell at him. Son or no son, Levi wouldn’t have tolerated the tongue-whipping.

“I do not know what all they did to you, and even if you told me, I could never understand what you went through.” Erwin sympathized, in as understanding of a way as he could. He wanted Armin to know that they were on the same side, and that he did understand that Armin had a right to be emotional. Erwin could guess that cleverly disguised fear had been making Armin temperamental.

_He seems sincere_. Armin thought and relaxed a little as Erwin acknowledged some of his feelings and then slackened his grip on his arms. He peered up at Erwin timidly, his anger having been doused with Erwin’s understanding, patient way. _At least he’s not telling me that he understands what I am going through. Mrs. Schmidt would have_. Armin mulled over that thought, and lowered his arms a little more. Erwin saw Armin’s shield lowering and had to rely on his self-restraint to not wrap the damaged boy into his protective arms.

“What I can do is help you through this, if you’ll let me. Just tell me what you want me to do for you.” Erwin offered, and slowly stretched his hand out towards Armin. Armin’s teary blue eyes widened at the sense of control Erwin was giving him. It was a sense he had thought he had lost years ago, if he ever really had it to begin with. He stared up at Erwin, and observed—not for the first time—the muscles he had on his arms, and the ones that protruded from his chest.

This man could protect him. He could act as his shield. And more importantly, he seemed willing to do so. As intriguing as the prospect of having a protector was, it seemed like a mute point. No one was hurting Armin now. Not in a conventional way, anyways. The memories that were surfacing and replaying in his head were bothering him, but surely Erwin couldn’t protect him from phantoms? Armin felt indecisiveness well up in his heart again.

How could he want to be independent one moment, and then dramatically toss himself against Erwin in the next minute? Armin had never been indecisive before. Why now?

“Tell me what to do.” Armin stated, remembering his uncertainty of what he should or could do was what caused his outburst in the first place. If he was told to do something, he could do it, and then know that that was okay to do again. But Erwin seemed thrown off by the statement. Levi noticed this too, and spoke up.

“He insisted that he wash the dishes. I told him to go be a kid, and then he started to bawl.” Levi recalled, filling Erwin in on what he had missed while he was putting clothes on. Erwin nodded in thanks to Levi, and refocused on Armin.

“Why did you want to wash the dishes?” Erwin decided to ask, because it was odd for a child to _want_ to perform a chore. He could guess, of course, but he wanted to hear the answer from Armin. Armin shifted a bit from foot to foot.

“It’s what I know how to do, since grandfather was always working in the fields. I had to be the one who washed dishes, and scrubbed the dirt stains out of our clothes. It’s not like mother was around to do these jobs herself.” Armin answered, having calmed down enough to sound almost normal. There was a hesitant note to his voice that Erwin took note of, almost as if Armin was ashamed that he knew how to perform the chores he spoke of.

_He probably is_. Erwin told himself, because in many rural villages, their life styles were traditional, where a woman would perform house-hold chores. Armin was a boy. He probably never once imagined himself scrubbing pots and pans. But, to his credit, he seemed to not only realize he should do the work despite his gender, but he took the initiative to perform the chores. That was remarkable.

“Your in luck, Kid. I do the cleaning around the house, and I tend the garden. Don’t get in my way.” Levi told Armin, who became distraught again.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” Armin asked, hating the sudden, bitchy, frustrated whine that had crept into his tone. If he couldn’t clean or garden, what did they expect him to do?

“I already told you. Be a kid.” Levi responded with a dismissive wave of his hand. Armin became more frustrated, but before he could enact another outburst, Erwin interrupted the banter.

“What Levi is telling you is that you can watch television all day—” Armin frowned at that prospect, “—or you could play outside and roll around in the dirt or climb trees.” Erwin suggested, to give Armin ideas about how to be a kid. Armin grimaced at the thought of physical activity. He was lethargic, and hurting, which didn’t help his erratic moodswings.

“May I read books?” Armin questioned shyly, as he nervously scratched at his cheek and shifted on his feet. He then glanced to the bookshelf in the living room. Armin had expressed an interest in reading the articles Erwin had shown him, but Erwin hadn’t expected Armin to have a passion for reading.

“Of course.” Erwin said, giving Armin the permission he had wanted from the start. Armin relaxed his shoulders with relief, and rubbed the lingering tears away from his face. If he could read books, he could curl up on the sofa and not be in anyone’s way. That seemed ideal to him. “But.” Erwin continued with warning that made Armin tense up again. “I need you to cooperate with me, and the others who will be here in an hour.”

“Who?” Armin demanded in a panicked tone. He had thought that he would be allowed to curl up with a book and forget the world and his own problems.

“Your psychologist, and social worker will be visiting us today to see how you are settling in, and then they’ll arrange weekly meetings with you to monitor your progress. You need to be honest with them, so they can help you, and if something is bothering you when they aren’t here, just know that you can come to me if you want to. You don’t even have to say anything to me. But them? You need to talk to.” Erwin informed the boy, who shook his head left and right rapidly.

“But I don’t want to talk to them!” Armin argued, withdrawing again. “They want _details_. They—they want to know _everything_. They poke and they prod and I don’t even want to think about any of it!” Armin stressed, put out about the knowledge that the psychologist would be coming to insist upon herself. She was a bit nicer than Armin was willing to give her credit for, but she had an air of superiority about her that he didn’t appreciate.

“I am sorry, Armin. I don’t have a say so in this, otherwise I’d respect your wishes.” Erwin swore earnestly, wanting to placate Armin. He could not give Armin what he wanted, though. Armin would just have to talk to the women, and be honest with them. Armin huffed moodily and folded his arms rebelliously against his chest.

“Ugh. That reminds me. You reek of hospital. Come take a bath.” Levi said as he pushed off the counter and headed to the bathroom, expecting Armin to follow. The commanding tone to his voice was one Armin recognized, and without a word or a back-chat, he followed Levi into the bathroom, much to Erwin’s amazement.

Once Armin joined Levi in the bathroom, Levi showed him how to start the bath, and then the shower. Levi pointed out a shampoo, and a conditioner that Armin could rub onto his scalp, then gestured towards the soap. Armin knew what to do with that. Levi showed Armin the towel closet, and gave a brief explanation of the sink, and toilet. Another quick explanation was given on toilet paper, deodorant, and razors. Not that Armin had any hair to shave, but Erwin had wanted Levi to teach him about “prettying” up.

And despite Armin’s bad mood, he was eager to learn because he hated to feel stupid. Levi then left the bedroom to allow Armin some much needed privacy. Armin locked the bathroom door and carefully stripped his clothes off of his frail body. He could see the bruises that marred his body, and remembered how he received each one of them. Those thoughts stayed with Armin, even as he nestled into the hot bath water. Armin reveled in the heated water, curled up against himself, and allowed himself to cry to release some of the rampant emotions that had made him be coarse with Erwin who he realized had only been trying to help him.

Guilt was not an unfamiliar emotion to Armin, but it was a rare one for him to feel since he had been a good child. Armin did not have a knack for being rebellious, defiant, nor mouthy. Back-chatting adults he cared for just hadn’t been in his nature. Was that the difference? Armin didn’t know these men. He barely knew how they even met. He had just been letting himself be guided by Erwin because when he didn’t think about it, he actually trusted the man in a way he didn’t understand, nor did he consciously want to acknowledge.

. . .

 

Shortly after Armin had retreated to the bath, the visitors had arrived, and after the initial greetings had been conducted, they made themselves comfortable in the living room with Erwin. Levi propped his arms up on the back of the arm chair, standing behind Erwin.

Wendy the Psychologist had been around Armin since he had woken up in the hospital, per CPS’s request. Now that Armin belonged to Erwin, Erwin had to pay her fees. She was going to make one other house visit this week, and then Erwin would bring Armin to her per the schedule he would work out with her. She, whether Erwin liked her or not, was going to hopefully help Armin work through a lot of his already obvious problems.

Rachel was the social worker who would drop by the house for at least a month at random times to see how Armin was settling into his new life, and to make sure he was not going to be abused here. If she found any reason to distrust Erwin, his temporary parental rights would be taken from him to protect the child. This meant Erwin needed Levi to keep his damn mouth shut.

Both women were here for Armin, as per their lifework required.

“How do you feel that Armin is settling in to his new environment?” Rachel asked, wanting Erwin’s opinion to later compare it to what Armin would say. Erwin relaxed back against the chair, wanting to express an open personality. He needed to work with them as much as they needed to work with him. If they felt he wasn’t being honest, that would be a black mark on his ability to parent Armin, who really had no idea all of the hell he had to go through to be able to raise him.

“Slowly. Armin feels safe enough to cry, and express some of his feelings, but he’s not very talkative.” Erwin admitted, recalling the few break downs Armin had had in the short time he moved in. He didn’t entirely believe that Armin felt safe enough to cry. Erwin personally figured Armin just couldn’t keep the tears and hurt in any longer. But he wasn’t going to mention that.

“Good, that’s good. We’ll try to open him up and help him feel comfortable.” Wendy said, equipped with a tablet that she could enter notes into. Rachel had a similar tablet. “It may take awhile, even with a safe, and soothing environment. The medical documents are shocking, which is another point I wanted to get to. Does he seem depressed?” Wendy questioned, already concerned that Armin would require pills just to feel okay.

“He was fucked up his ass with a carrot. I’d say he’s depressed.” Levi spoke up, thinking of how triggered Armin had been over the site of a fat, baby carrot. He had the suspicion that Armin had been penetrated with a traditional carrot, but he didn’t feel the need to clarify.

Both women gasped with horror, while Erwin tensed. That was one detail he was going to allow Armin to mention to the women, if he felt so inclined to. He couldn’t even scold Levi because than the women would get the impression that he was hiding things from them. _Damn it, Levi_. Erwin cursed to himself. He wanted to tell the women what they needed to know and leave the rest up to Armin.

“Is that what he told you?” Wendy inquired, knowing Armin had never said anything like that to her. The kid was hiding things, apparently, which was a problem that would have to be addressed if she was to help him.

“Not exactly.” Levi admitted, shifting a bit on his feet. “Last night, I had a light snack of carrots and ranch. Armin flipped out the moment he saw the carrots. He never said anything about the carrot specifically, but his strong reaction made us get that impression.” Levi explained, candidly to show the women they were both willing to work alongside them for Armin’s best interest.

“What else did he tell you?” Rachel pressed, while she made the mental note that apparently, Armin trusted the two males in a way he didn’t trust her.

“He misses his home.” Erwin answered before Levi could even think to tell them about the ‘lollipop’ incident. That was one thing they did not need to hear from them.

“That’s to be expected. Children are often put out when they’re placed in a new home. It’s common.” Rachel dismissed, knowing that if this was indeed the safe environment it seemed to be that Armin would settle in and accept this place as home eventually. She had seen it many times before. Kids were normally awkward, out of place, and pining for their old home, even when they had been abused there because it was what they knew.

Fear of the unknown was often more unsettling to a child than the fear of knowing what they could expect with their current living situation. In this way, Armin seemed like a normal child, and his unease at the house did not raise any warning flags. In fact, it was a positive sign.

“I don’t think he quite knows what to do with himself, either. He seems a bit lost. Is there something I should do about that specifically?” Erwin wondered, figuring any advice from the women might help him make Armin feel more comfortable here.

“Show him around the house. Let him know what he can and can not do, and what you expect of him. When he has an understanding of this home, he’ll be more apt to toss his feet on to the table.” Rachel offered, while she made notes on her tablet.

“If I recall, Armin has nothing of his own, does he? Give him something he can call his own. It’ll make him feel more comfortable here.” Wendy added, having worked with many children like Armin before, and their number one complaint in a new home was too often that they had nothing of their own to cling to.

It was not that the children were materialistic. It was that they saw everything that belonged to their new guardian, and realized they had nothing of their own—or very little of their own which left them feeling daunted and little.

“I was planning to go to the store today for that reason. He needs clothes.” Erwin agreed, as he already planned to buy Armin something he could call his own. Clothes weren’t exciting to a lot of children, but Erwin hoped that Armin would feel a little better if he had the freedom to wear what he wanted to.

“Is he moving well? You should take him with you. Let him pick something out. Give him that control.” Rachel told him, since Armin did need the experience of seeing how the world worked. Erwin thought to the way Armin stiffly moved, and limped around.

“Fuck no—” Erwin cringed at Levi’s language, “—The kid hurts. He needs proper pain medication.” Levi contested, still irritated that in modern society a boy couldn’t receive pain medication that actually alleviated pain. Doctors only seemed to hand out sugar pills.

“Well, you could give him Tylenol—” Wendy suggested, knowing Tylenol could be bought at almost any local store. Levi scoffed, and opened his mouth to argue. Erwin lifted a hand up as a silent gesture to shut Levi up.

“Then I will buy a bottle of that.” Erwin stated quickly, before Levi could argue like he knew he wanted to. Tylenol might relieve headaches, and growing pains. Erwin, like Levi, did not believe the medication could be a replacement for medications like Percocet. However, Erwin was not about to mention that in front of the women. He wanted to work with them, not against them. “I do not think Armin is ready to adventure outside. What I will do is let him pick something out from the internet.” Erwin added then, to further show that he was listening to them.

Fortunately for Erwin, the women seemed to appreciate his willingness to work with them. Erwin seemed to know a bit about Armin’s capabilities and limits as well which comforted them that he might be a good father after all. He looked over as the bathroom door opened, and saw Armin step out of the bathroom.

His fair skin was flushed red from the heat of the bath, and his shockingly vibrant yellow, damp hair was sticking to his head. He was clothed in the only pair of jeans, and T-shirt that he had, that he had received from the hospital. Armin felt the pressure of eyes on him and noticed he was being scrutinized. He wanted to run away and hide, but there was no where he thought he could take shelter in so he hurried to the one person that he wanted to trust.

“You look better already.” Rachel commented, observing Armin’s clean hair, and fresh face. He didn’t look as scared and sick as he had in the hospital. Levi looked at the wet bandages that were coming off of Armin’s hands and headed for the bathroom, to gather new ones. Armin inched closer to Erwin for support. While it was a positive sign that Armin was seeking Erwin’s comfort, the women needed Armin to be independent as well. Erwin would have to go.

“Would you mind?” Wendy wondered, turning her attention to Erwin. Erwin knew she needed to talk to Armin alone, and stood up.

“Sit here, Armin. These nice women are going to ask you a few questions, and then I’ll come back.” Erwin told Armin, who tensed at the thought of being left alone with the women. They had been nice to him, but they asked him questions he didn’t want to answer, which unsettled him. Erwin gently pat Armin’s arm reassuringly, and then gestured to the chair to further instill in Armin that he was supposed to comply. Armin shifted uncomfortably and slowly shifted to sit on the chair. He kept to himself, and looked small in the chair.

“We’ll let you know when we’re done, and then we can discuss the results.” Wendy told Erwin, who nodded, and then headed into his own bedroom. He passed Levi on the way, who had fresh bandages and a pair of scissors in his hands. Levi rejoined Armin and knelt before him.

“I’ll leave in a minute.” Levi told the professional women, and knelt down before Armin. “Let me see your hands.” Levi coaxed, and took one of Armin’s hands in his own. Armin warily watched Levi unwrap the wet bandages, which exposed the deep cuts, and raw skin. He paled, and looked away from his own hands and tried to swallow the panic that fluttered in his heart. Armin hated seeing wounds on his body. It made him feel uncared for, and alone. Once, his grandfather would have bandaged him up, but after a week of being abused, and having no one to stop the bleeding, he still wondered what would happen if any of the wounds became infected again.

“Hello Armin. It’s good to see you again. Did you sleep well?” Wendy asked, addressing Armin with a simple question since she did not want to conduct her interview with Levi around who could potentially sway Armin to give half-truths. She had seen it happen before with other children and their parents, which was the main reason why guardians were removed from the room. The only reason Levi wasn’t ushered out was because Wendy understood that Armin’s wounds needed to be tended to.

“F-fine, I guess.” Armin muttered, giving a noncommittal answer. He actually had slept well, thanks to the Percocet.

“Is the bed soft?” Rachel wondered, going with the flow of the conversation. The hard questions would be asked once Levi left.

“Yeah, actually…I liked it.” Armin answered, sounding a little warmer then before. The bed had been soft, and Armin couldn’t begin to mention how appreciative he was of that. Maybe his bed at home had been soft once but he had slept on it for so many years that it was uncomfortable even on nights that Armin was exhausted from farm work. He winced as the bandages rubbed against a raw finger.

“You have your own space now where you can shut the door and lock it?” Rachel then inquired about, having heard of Armin’s home back in the village where his bedroom door had been taken off of its hinges. Surely the house here was an improvement.

“I guess. It doesn’t feel like my room though.” Armin mentioned, shifting uncomfortably in the chair. Erwin had told him that the bedroom was his, but he didn’t feel as if the room belonged to him. He felt like an intruder. Levi finally pulled the last of the damp bandages off of Armin’s hands, and then slowly, and carefully wrapped them up in fresh, dry bandages.

“What would make your new room feel like yours?” Wendy questioned, specifically because Levi was around to hear Armin’s possible wants. Armin fidgeted a bit, and stayed huddled close to himself.

“I’d like to have my blanket. It’s back at home.” Armin said, thinking of the pink blanket with little cat heads on it. He wanted to curl up with it, and cry on to it the way he had for the last week or so. It had been a gift from his mother, shortly before her murder.

“Well, that may not be possible for a long time, but if you ask, your father might buy you a new one.” Rachel suggested, giving Armin an alternative option to feel more at home here. Levi finished bandaging Armin’s hands and stood up.

“Talk to them, kid.” Levi reminded Armin, and then went to find Erwin. Armin became visibly uncomfortable without Levi’s presence and wrapped his arms around his body. He would have preferred having one of the men at his side.

“Alright. I want to know how you feel about Erwin, and if you think that you will be safe here.” Wendy cut right to the chase, not wasting any time with asking Armin how he felt about his new environment.

“Oh. He seems like a nice man. He hasn’t raised his hand, nor his voice at me at all, even when I was being difficult with him.” Armin answered, curling against himself. He still felt bad about how mouthy he had been to Erwin. Armin didn’t quite understand what made him act moody in the first place.

“Why were you being difficult with him?” Rachel asked, concerned that Armin and Erwin might not be getting along as they needed to be for them to live together. There was something about her tone that unsettled Armin, and made him realize he should have chosen his words more carefully.

“I don’t know. He wasn’t mean to me. Actually, he wanted to comfort me but I wouldn’t let him.” Armin responded, hoping he wasn’t somehow ruining his opportunity to live here because as uncomfortable and out of place as he felt here, he did not want to be placed in a new home with new strangers. Erwin and Levi had given him no reason to seek another home out and fortunately, his answer seemed to relax some of Rachel’s concerns.

“It sounds like he is patient with you. Do you feel safe with Erwin?” Wendy wondered, to try to gauge how Armin was feeling. It was important that he felt safe in his new environment.

“Yes.” Armin asserted without hesitation even though he didn’t feel nearly as safe as he made it sound. He thought that in time, he could feel truly safe with Erwin. And on some level, he did trust the man so it wasn’t like he was technically lying.

“Do you have any concerns about him or Levi?” Wendy asked then, because if there were concerns, they need to be addressed and resolved, or in the worst case scenario, Armin would be removed from the home.

Wendy and Rachel needed to make sure that Armin would be safe here. The abuse he went through had been shocking, and neither woman wanted him to be hurt like that again.

“No. Levi feeds me tasty food.” Armin mentioned, thinking about the stew from last night. He particularly liked that meal, but the lean salad had been appealing as well. The best part of the food was that he hadn’t had to suck cock in return. Levi and Erwin discouraged him from that, and Armin hoped they wouldn’t change their mind about it.

His answer was childish, and incredibly reassuring to both Wendy, and Rachel’s ears. Kids often thought with their stomachs, and Armin seemed to be no different. As long as he had food in his stomach, he seemed as if he would settle into the home just fine.

“Have they imposed chores on you or are they letting you rest?” Rachel inquired, knowing a lot of households required children to perform household chores to ‘earn’ their keep, or to teach them independence.

“No. Levi told me he cleans, and gardens. That’s what I was upset about because I only know how to clean, and garden. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.” Armin admitted as he fidgeted with his fingers. It wasn’t that he wanted to clean. He wanted to rest his hands. But cleaning and gardening was all he knew. What was he supposed to do?

“Be a kid.” Wendy suggested, sounding like Levi. Armin pursed his lips together irritably.

“What does that even mean?” Armin snapped, not understanding what everyone expected him to do. They all thought he was a kid, so wasn’t he already a kid? How could he be a kid by their definition? Would it change anything?

“You play. Watch cartoons. Build Lego’s.” Rachel informed him, and gestured with her hand to the television. Armin didn’t understand any of her suggestions and frowned irritably. He hated feeling stupid. There was something he was missing, and that bothered him. His lack of understanding was clear on his troubled face.

From then on, both women tried to explain to Armin that he was a child, and that chores were not explicitly his responsibility any longer. Now was the time for him to have fun, and live without worries. Erwin and Levi were supposed to take on the burden of money, cleaning, and other responsibilities until Armin came of age. It was a long conversation, one Armin had a difficult time understanding because he had performed chores for so long, even before the abuse.

Abuse was another topic that tied in with them trying to explain to Armin that he was a child. As a child, Armin never should have been touched sexually. They explained that legally, morally, and medically that Armin could not have gave the soldiers consent even if he had wanted to experiment with sex. Wendy explained that there were specific areas of Armin’s brain—like any fourteen year old child—that had not fully formed yet, particularly the region that allowed forethought.

Since the cells wouldn’t develop until after Armin was eighteen, he, like other teenagers, could not properly think about the possible consequences of their actions. They needed a parent or a guardian to see around corners for them. In this way, Armin definitely could not consent to sex. What this also meant was that anyone, especially an adult who tried to convince him to engage in sexual acts, was a rapist.

The point that both women stressed to Armin was that the rape was not his fault. They asserted that Armin was innocent. That the rape had nothing to do with his size, nor the way he wore his hair. Rape was all about power, and some sick individuals wanted to exert power over those that couldn’t say no. Armin broke down a bit, relieved to hear that some people did not think that the rape was his fault. He even felt vindicated as they explained to him that while he was definitely a victim, he became asurvivor.

A survivor who endured.


	14. Troubled Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin is uncertain about his new life, but he attempts to be optimistic despite his problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another mini-chapter. 
> 
> Now, I wanted to point out that as far as fanfics go, Eren has been raped 100% more times than Armin has been. This usually occurs by the same authors who have various fics of Levi and Eren engaging in non-consensual prostitution and or bdsm. Yet, some people complain that a few of my fanfics involve Armin being raped? Look, I don't know why other authors have Eren raped as much as they do, but, I am almost certain their reasons are not nearly as noble, and justifiable as mine are, which I have repeatedly explained over the years. I'm just kinda tired of people complaining about what I write, because I'm pretty sure they're the same people who go and read LevixEren fics. >.>; 
> 
> Another point that has repeatedly been brought up by people in the community, particularly on Facebook is that apparently, presenting Armin or other male characters as being any type of "feminine" is "offensive" to the gay community because "that's not an accurate representation of them." Well, I'm part of the gay community. People like Armin DO exist. The exact way I often portray him, and how others have portrayed him. Which, Eren is highly feminized in LevixEren fics and is normally the BOTTOM but no one complains about that, even though Eren is actually pretty alpha male. Armin is ONE accurate representation. Feminized men are ONE representation of gay men. Not all. And some gay men do want to solely be bottom. And if we're gonna be honest, isn't it more offensive that some people have a opinion about what a "gay man should be represented as?" Last I checked, gay men are diverse. There is no one way to be or act. :/ 
> 
> I know one gay man who solely likes to suck and be sucked. That's it. That's all. So. Like. People really need to get off of the "social warrior of justice" train and maybe hop on to the "educated train". Just saying. Now, please understand, none of this is directed at my viewers. I'm just tired of the double standards and the flak that writers get. 
> 
> And maybe, if other people would write Armin centric stories, I might not need to write so many of my own. >.>;   
> But it seems like any time I stop writing Armin fics, other people do too. x.x; 
> 
> So, just, well, I'm kinda tired of defending myself when I shouldn't have to. I'm a fiction writer.

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 14: Troubled Potato**

Button up. V-neck. Ringer. Sleeveless. Vest. Cardigan. Sweaters. Turtleneck. Plaid. Preppy. Rich. Cashmere. Cotton. Trousers. Jeans. Slacks. Shorts. Cargo pants. Manpris. A sailor suit. A Tommy Hilfiger.

None of it meant anything to Armin.

He stared at the clothes that Erwin lifted out of shopping bags.

“How much did you spend?” Levi asked, alarmed at the amount of clothes that Erwin was showing to Armin. It looked like Erwin bought Armin an entire wardrobe of clothes. He probably did. Levi briefly thought of the new car he wanted, and how it was just a damn dream because Erwin went out and bought the kid an entire wardrobe of clothes when a couple of pants and plain shirts from the local Walmart would have sufficed for now.

“Only what was necessary.” Erwin responded, while Levi folded his arms across his chest, eyeing the Tommy Hilfiger suit with suspicion. Erwin ignored Levi’s concerns reached for the last bit of clothing in the bag. Undergarments. Erwin paused as he reached for undergarments. He had felt weird buying briefs, and boxers for someone else, and that uncomfortable feeling returned now that he was to show Armin the clothes.

What if Armin thought he was a creep or a pervert? What if Armin hated the clothes? What if he didn’t fit in them? From what Erwin could guess about biology, if Armin had obtained his genes, the boy should have a rather large penis. Then again, Armin was young still, and it was possible that he hadn’t yet grown as large as he could be. _Damn it_. Erwin cursed to himself and banished the thoughts from his mind, and pulled out the briefs. Armin’s face flushed red.

“Do I…have to wear these clothes?” Armin asked quietly, fidgeting timidly on the couch where he sat. He was still reeling from the conversation he had with Rachel, and Wendy. His eyes were puffy and swollen, which hadn’t been an uncommon sight for the last week.

Once the women had left, Erwin had left to the store, and had been gone for most of the day. Levi had fed Armin lunch, and had let Armin have some space to acquaint himself with the living room and some books—even though Armin had opted to just lay around and dwell on his new home, guardians, and life. Now Erwin was home with more clothes than Armin ever had before, and there was a large variety of them. Some of the outfits looked warm, while others were soft and assumedly comfy.

“Yeah. If they are too small for you, let me know.” Erwin instructed Armin, and then gestured with his hand for Armin to follow. “Come on. I’ll let you choose how you want your clothes to be organized.” Erwin offered, as he headed into Armin’s room, carrying the bags stuffed with new clothes. Armin blinked, and then followed Erwin into the bedroom.

Even now the black dresser was daunting to Armin as he looked at it, and planned out where he wanted to put his clothes. Erwin helped Armin fold the clothes, and put them away in an organized manner. Then Erwin brought Armin back out into the living room and started up the laptop, with the promise of buying him something that he needed for his room. Armin had already expressed a fear of the dark.

A lamp seemed to be a good idea. It was practical, and it would alleviate some of Armin’s fears. The only problem was that Armin didn’t like any of the lamps he was shown. “None of them look like a candle.” Armin grumbled, wanting to re-create his room from home. Levi folded his arms on top of the couch and peered at the computer screen, standing between Armin and Erwin’s head.

“Why not look at one of those geek websites?” Levi suggested, thinking of how geeky modern kids were. Armin was ignorant of pop culture, but Levi had a feeling that he would thrive in it when he inevitably stepped foot into it. Levi too accepted days ago that Armin was not going to be a jock. And if he wasn’t a jock, the geek world would probably suit him.

“Geek?” Armin and Erwin questioned, looking over their shoulder towards Levi.

“Yeah.” Levi said and stretched over the couch, coming between the two, to take control of the laptop. Armin watched Levi pull up a foreign website—most websites were foreign to Armin—and an array of different, colorful lamps came into view. Armin pointed to a blue and white checkered lamp that while it was definitely modern, there was something simple about it that he could appreciate. “Knew it.” Levi muttered, and clicked on the ‘buy now’ link. _Of course the brat wants the Ravenclaw Quidditch table lamp_. Levi scoffed to himself, and let Erwin take over to buy the lamp for the kid.

“In a few days, the lamp will be here, and I can set it up in your room.” Erwin assured Armin, and was about to close the laptop now that the purchase was complete when Levi grabbed his arm.

“There’s special lightbulbs that give off yellow light. Let’s buy those for him since you’re on a unplanned shopping spree, draining all of our savings.” Levi said, and leaned over the couch again to control the laptop once more. Armin watched in an attempt to better understand the computer. There were just too many things for him to learn, and it was all making his head hurt.

When the transaction was complete, Erwin closed the laptop and set it back on to the coffee table. He then focused on Armin. Armin tensed, recognizing when someone was focusing on him.

“I’ll be back.” Levi mentioned, and went into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner, leaving the two alone.

“How did it go with Dr. Wendy and Rachel?” Erwin wondered, out of concern, and care for Armin who had been alone with the women for a long time.

“Fine?” Armin offered weakly. He didn’t know what else he could really say about the conversations he had with them, without divulging everything, and possibly crying again. Erwin waited, as if he wanted Armin to elaborate. Armin shifted a bit, feeling the unintended pressure. “They said that I am strong.” Armin finally added, and idly picked at his shirt.

“You are.” Erwin reiterated, and gently pushed some of Armin’s soft hair out of his face. Armin looked down, unable to meet Erwin’s warm, confident gaze. Erwin, like the women, believed Armin was strong. Armin self-consciously touched the deep, bandaged cut on his neck, and remembered how much he had wanted to die when he thought the poison attempt had failed.

_Strong people don’t try to kill themselves_. Armin wanted to argue, especially as hot, shameful tears began to sting the corners of his eyes. He had not felt strong then, and that powerless feeling continued to haunt him as he sat on the black couch because even now he was not sure if he wanted to live. “You do not know that.” Armin stated, becoming defensive despite his good intentions to get to know Erwin.

“When you were wrought and delirious with infection, you not only endured the two-day travel to the city, you continued to fight off the sick in the hospital. None of the doctors thought you could overcome the infection, but you did. You surprised everyone by waking up.” Erwin gently explained to Armin, with pride shining in his eyes. Armin recoiled from the awe in Erwin’s eyes and scooted away from him, uncomfortable with the positive attention.

He did not know how to respond to it.

“All I did was wake up.” Armin muttered dismissively, unable to think highly of himself after everything he suffered. Men had killed his family, raped him, humiliated him, and hit him. Now there was Erwin, and those damn women who told him he was strong, but he felt as if they were lying to him. His hand pressed against the neck wound, and while he blinked furiously, the tears began to stream down his face.

“You don’t believe me.” Erwin realized, and wanted nothing more than to pull Armin against him and cradle him. He resisted that urge, and curled a leg up on the couch. “Why do you not believe me?” Erwin asked softly, with his voice full of concern. He hadn’t meant to make Armin cry. Like, fuck.

“Do you have to ask?” Armin snapped, pulling his legs against himself. He was being mean to Erwin again, and he knew it, but he couldn’t withhold the bitter anger that tainted his voice. He huddled against himself, and remembered he hadn’t apologized to Erwin for being mouthy this morning. Armin definitely was not going to apologize now either, and that made him feel worse about himself. _How petty am I_?

For a moment, Erwin was quiet as he observed Armin. He had his hand over his neck, where a deep cut had been. The doctor had said that the cut was probably a self-inflicted wound, but given the condition Armin had been in, they couldn’t confirm their suspicions. But the way Armin was acting now, hiding the bandaged wound, Erwin was sure that the doctor’s suspicion had been right after all.

“You hurt yourself.” Erwin stated sympathetically, and stretched his arm out towards Armin. “Let me see.” He encouraged, in his soft, patient voice that slid through Armin’s barrier wall. Armin almost let Erwin pull his hand away, but then he gasped and pushed Erwin away.

“Don’t touch me!” Armin exclaimed, agonized over the thought of his shame being brought to light. Erwin retracted his arm, per Armin’s request. In Armin’s reality, Erwin was too close to him. He clamped his legs shut and continued to fret internally of how damn easy it would be for Erwin to push him down onto the couch, choke him to make him compliant, and inevitably shove his cock into him. That was fear talking. Fear wasn’t rational. Rationally, Armin felt more safe with Erwin than he had with anyone else for a long time. But the fear was real, and it caused fresh tears to trickle down his wet cheeks.

“I won’t hurt you.” Erwin assured Armin, and without touching him, he carefully worked the bandage off of his neck. Armin nervously chewed his bottom lip, and breathed loudly. As much as he didn’t want Erwin to see what he had done to himself, Erwin’s gentle voice reassured him that this was okay. And deep down, he knew Erwin wouldn’t hurt him, so he sat, and fretted over what Erwin would say when he saw the cut.

The cut was deep. Dissolvable stitches held the skin together. Armin expected Erwin to be disappointed in him. Maybe Erwin would even be mad at him for being foolish. But he wasn’t any of those things. Erwin was simply _sad_.

It was one thing for someone to hurt Armin and mar his body with bruises, but it was another to see the evidence of Armin harming his own body, with a dark intent. The fact that Armin had felt alone, and scared enough to think that death was his only escape made Erwin’s heart hurt. Armin was just a child, but no one had been there to protect him from those brutes. He had been all alone, and that cut meant that the world had failed Armin.

_I could have saved him_. Erwin told himself, knowing that if he and Levi would have made their move that night, instead of in the morning, Armin could have been spared a lot of pain. And if he ever found out just how much agony Armin endured in those few hours, Erwin would never forgive himself for not acting sooner when he could have. Bad people had hurt Armin in unimaginable, horrific ways. Every bruise, and tear on Armin was a reminder that Erwin hadn’t protected him from any of it.

His own son. Erwin’s precious, perfect son had been left defenseless in a house of wolves. Armin had not been able to hide behind anyone. It was probably the reason he kept withdrawing from Erwin. Erwin hadn’t been there for him when he had needed him the most.

Never mind that Erwin hadn’t known Armin was his son yet because now that he did, Erwin told himself that he should have instinctively known. Like, really known. Erwin had had suspicions from the moment he saw Armin, but, it would have been crazy for him to assume that the blonde haired, blue-eyed kid was his because there were thousands of other kids who matched that description.

“I am sorry I was not there for you when you needed me.” Erwin apologized, with his blue eyes shining with tears that startled Armin. “I hope you realize that I am here for you now, and will help you through your moment of weakness.” Erwin promised and leaned towards his broken boy. Armin let out a soft gasp as Erwin pressed his lips against the cut. The kiss was tender, sensitive, and powerful.

_He cares about me_.  Armin realized, as all of his defensive walls shattered around him. Erwin was kissing better the most intimate wound Armin had. That tender, fatherly touch healed a wound within Armin’s heart, and restored a bridge between their souls. Armin let his hands fall to the couch and cried unabashed. Erwin sensed the change in Armin’s demeanor and embraced the vulnerable child. Armin welcomed the touch, and sobbed without restraint, feeling one of Erwin’s hands rest on the back of his head.

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.” Erwin swore, holding Armin against his strong, fatherly body. Armin was trembling, and crying as openly and honestly as he had last night, but the tone was different. Before, Armin’s sobs were desperate and fearful. Tonight, Armin’s broken, passionate cries were ones of relief, and need.

It had been too long since Armin had a father. God knows his grandfather had tried to father him, but he was not Erwin. Erwin was understanding, and patient in a way that Armin craved. Armin let himself be coddled, and wrapped his arms around Erwin’s neck, as he buried his face against the crook of Erwin’s neck, taking shelter against him. For the first time in years, Armin felt safe, and _wanted_.

“Erw—?” Levi began, but shut up as he realized his lover was having an affectionate father-son moment. He stood awkwardly for a moment, debating whether or not to interrupt them. Levi saw the tears on Erwin’s face and backed up into the kitchen as if he never came out to see why the boy was bawling.

Something precious had formed between the father, and the son.

. . .

Ever since Erwin had confirmation that the cut on Armin’s neck had been a self-inflicted wound, he had paid more attention to Armin’s mood-swings, and daily behavior. Armin was troubled, and stressed out. The television bothered him, and the lights were too bright. Much to Levi’s dismay, on the third day, Erwin had replaced all of the bright white light bulbs in the house with yellow lights that reflected a candle. Those were only turned on at night because during the day, sunlight poured in from the windows.

In a weeks time, Armin began to settle into the house that he was to live in, and call his own. He was not awkward and scared like he was those first few days. His steps became heavier, and full of purpose. Armin knew where he was going, why he was going there, and he knew that it was okay. The only room Armin did not waltz into was Erwin and Levi’s bedroom. Every other room he felt comfortable going in and started to learn where objects like scissors were kept.

None of this was to say that he was okay. He wasn’t. Armin knew he had a bedroom that he could and did lock himself into to cry when the awful memories became too much with him, or when he lashed out at Erwin and felt bad about it. Erwin who remained ever patient and understanding with him. Erwin didn’t raise his voice, nor his hand at him. Not once. Armin appreciated that, and craved the comfort Erwin was always ready to give, but that was part of what made him feel worse about his outbursts. Erwin didn’t deserve to be yelled at.

But sometimes Armin couldn’t help but to become defensive, or guarded with his guardians. He didn’t even really know why he lashed out because he had never been unruly before. His wild, unpredictable mood-swings bothered him, and Erwin. Some of his behaviors were discussed with Wendy.

According to the psychologist, Armin was behaving in the way she expected him to. Troubled children often lashed out at those they knew would not hurt them. It was their way of asserting control they had lost during their time of being abused. They were also compensating for ‘doing nothing’ during the abuse.

Children like Armin feared, yet craved touch. The discrepancy often confused them, and confusion was translated into anger. It was natural for Armin to be angry, bitter, and a bit resentful over what happened to him. In this way, Wendy wasn’t concerned about him since he was exhibiting normal behavior of abused children. What she was concerned with was that Armin exhibited signs of depression, which, while normal, was always alarming.  

There was three things that made Armin content. Food, warm baths, and books. The more comfortable Armin became in the house, the more he expressed an interest in eating anything Levi cooked for him, or let him get into, such as chips. Armin’s appetite was improving, although his stomach was alarmingly small so he only seemed to pick at the food.

This was unusual to Erwin who could eat a plate of food and still want dessert. However, at the end of the week, Armin had gained two pounds, which, while not much of an improvement, both Rachel and the doctor were pleased to hear about. Armin gaining weight was what they all wanted to hear, because while he didn’t quite resemble an anorexic person, he was still alarmingly thin and bony.

Warm baths were quickly becoming Armin’s best friend. He had never thought that water could be warm like this with so little effort. It was an absolute luxury to him, and he reveled in every moment he could be in the bath. And when the water cooled down, he would rise out of his warm, comforting nest to rub the fresh avocado scented soap on his body.

Coming out of a steamy, moist bathroom, smelling fresh and clean was appealing to Armin who had spent too many days of his childhood being dirty, and smelly. He never wanted to smell bad again, and he damn well never wanted to go to bed hungry ever again. Thankfully, food and baths weren’t being restricted from Armin. Books were at Armin’s disposal as well. He curled up in his bed and read through two books during the week.

He would have read more books, but Armin was preoccupied with trying to cope with the horror he endured. One way he tried to cope with the abuse was by thinking about it, and telling him that it wasn’t his fault. But the more he tried to make sense of it, the more it bothered him. Erwin and Levi often found Armin spacing out. It was clear the boy needed something. Levi was quick to offer pills. Erwin refused them on the basis that they weren’t prescribed by the doctor.

“I know what Armin needs, and I know the dosage for his weight and age.” Levi argued on the eighth night that Armin was in the house. He had fallen asleep on the couch while reading a book. Erwin had carried him to bed, and had tucked him in. That was about twenty minutes ago.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Levi. I know that you know what you are doing. However, CPS is going to be heavily involved with Armin for the rest of the month. If they find something in his system that isn’t prescribed to him, not only is that a crime, they could uproot him and take him to someone else.” Erwin explained, with concern in his voice.

The thought of giving Armin pills was stressing Erwin out. Anti-depressants often seemed to do more harm than good. But since everyone was an individual, there was always the chance that an anti-depressant was exactly what Armin needed to not mope about the house for hours on end.

“Fine.” Levi relented, letting the squabble drop because Erwin had a point. He let himself lay back against the bed, with his arms folded behind his bed. Erwin laid down next to Levi, and thought about how Armin hadn’t once questioned why the two slept in the same room. It must be a conversation Armin didn’t feel ready for.

Luckily, the conversation that ‘Hey Kid, your dad is gay,’ could wait. Erwin felt there was no rush to discuss his personal life with Armin who he knew was clever enough to figure it out on his own. Armin needed to learn more important things than some people actually liked having a dick up their ass. Erwin figured that would be a hard concept for Armin to understand.

“You want to fuck me?” Levi suggested then, wanting Erwin’s company that he hadn’t had since their time in the accursed jeep that he hated.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Erwin wondered, as he propped himself on to his elbows. Levi rolled on to his side and leaned forwards to press their lips together. Levi usually initiated sex, and tonight was no different as they took a few minutes to make-out. Erwin pushed some of Levi’s hair out of his face, and spread his legs as Levi climbed on top of him.

This was their style—Levi liked being on top of Erwin—it gave him a sense of control, even though he let Erwin penetrate him. They both liked it this way. Neither of them saw a reason to switch, even though they were both aware that they could. Levi and Erwin fumbled with their clothes, stripping them off in a hurry.

Ever since Erwin brought Armin home, their sex life had been non-existent. Levi hadn’t even been able to get Erwin to kiss him while Armin was around. Now they were in their bedroom and the boy was sleeping. Levi was determined to get what he wanted from Erwin, and to prove that point, their hands roamed each other’s bodies.

Each of them knew how to touch the other, and manipulate their bodies for the desired effect. Levi lowered himself on to Erwin’s cock and began to ride him. He controlled the speed, and force of the thrusts by how fast or slow he was willing to move. Erwin didn’t mind letting Levi take charge. It was less work that he had to think about, and for awhile, he didn’t think about Armin at all. He gripped Levi’s hips, and occasionally thrust his own hips up into Levi when he felt it would benefit both of them.

Soft moans, the rustling of blankets, and the slap of flesh against flesh drowned out the sound of panicked footsteps. In the midst of over due pleasure, Levi heard the door be creaked open. “E-Erwin?” A soft, needy voice broke through the silence. Neither Erwin nor Levi moved.

“Yes, Armin?” Erwin answered, as calmly as he could.  His heart was pounding hard in his chest. The room was dark, but if Armin realized what they were doing, he could experience a meltdown. Erwin hoped that what ever Armin needed, it could be answered and resolved before Armin realized they were in the middle of anal sex.

“I…I am s-scared…” Armin stammered pitifully, sounding much younger than he was. Wendy had warned Erwin that a lot of children regress after experiencing severe trauma. Erwin remembered how Armin had clung to him, and called him ‘daddy’ when he was suffering the infection on the way to the city. There were a few other incidents where Armin hadn’t seemed to act like a fourteen year old boy, and this was once of those moments.

_Fuck_. Erwin cursed, understanding that Armin was actually coming to him for security. Armin hadn’t come to him like this before. Some of those first few nights Armin had been plagued by nightmares that either had him waking up screaming and sobbing, or left him curled up, and hiding under the blanket, awake, until the sun rose. The days Erwin found Armin like that, he had encouraged him to seek comfort with him.

Obviously, Armin was choosing now to listen to Erwin’s advice, at the worst possible time.

“Can you give us a minute?” Levi wondered irritably, and debated on whether or not he should roll off of Levi. If he made a drastic move like that, Armin might figure them out. He opted to not move, and hope the kid would suck his problems up and go back to bed.

“The bleeding won’t stop.” Armin blurted in a panic, and trembled with shock where he stood.

_Bleeding_? Erwin pushed Levi off of him and clambered out of the bed without a second though. He snatched his pajama pants off of the floor and tugged them on as he rushed towards Armin. Levi was in quick pursuit as well, following Erwin’s example and tugged his own pants on as he headed towards Armin.

“Th-there’s so much blood…it’s all over my bed a-and I can’t scrub it o-out.” Armin sobbed inconsolably, and fervently rubbed at his wet eyes with the back of his arm. Erwin looked to Levi and nodded to Armin’s room. Levi flipped the light on and headed into Armin’s room. Erwin refocused on Armin who he could see better now that the light was on.

“Blood?” Erwin inquired, a bit perplexed, and relieved that he saw no blood on Armin. Armin nodded adamantly, and grabbed Erwin’s arm before he proceeded to pull him into his room.

“There.” Armin pointed to his bed, and ducked his head down to avoid seeing the large pool of blood he was convinced he saw. Erwin looked to the bed, and then looked to Levi who simply shook his head. There was no blood on Armin, nor the bed.

Either Armin was making up stories for attention, or he really believed what he thought he had seen. Erwin looked to Armin, who was still adamantly pointing at the bed, as if something awful had happened there. Erwin knelt down before Armin again, and lightly set his hands on his arms.

“I know you’re scared, Armin, but I want you to look at your bed and tell me what you see there.” Erwin encouraged gently, wanting Armin to see that the bloody bed was just a fragment of his imagination. Armin shook his head and continued to hyperventilate. “Just look.” Erwin coaxed, and grabbed Armin’s shaking hand. “I’m right here with you.” Erwin reminded the distraught child, who finally looked up.

Through Armin’s tears that blurred his vision, he saw his new bed, and the blue and white checkered lamp on the nightstand. He blinked a few times as he tried to comprehend how the image in his mind did not connect with reality. After a moment, Armin let himself fall against Erwin, and clapped a hand over his mouth. He had been sure that the bed had been covered in blood, but there was not a single stain anywhere to be seen of anything.

“I…I don’t understand…” Armin said, sounding upset over the discrepancy. Erwin wrapped a protective arm around Armin’s little body, and pulled him close.

“You had a nightmare.” Erwin explained to Armin, who had had plenty of nightmares already, and it had only been a bit more than a week. Armin whimpered argumentatively, and wrapped his arms around himself.

“No. I saw it. I was awake. I…it started as a nightmare but I know what I saw. It was all over my legs and it was cold and it was wet.” Armin argued stubbornly through his tears. His breathing had calmed, but he was still light-headed.

“It’s called piss.” Levi grunted irritably as he bunched up the blankets on the bed.

“Wh-what?” Armin sputtered, and stared at Levi with horror. What was he trying to say? Erwin sighed softly, and pressed Armin against him, to cradle, and coddle him.

_That’s what happened_.  Erwin realized, understanding what had happened. Armin must have had a nightmare that scared him. He woke up, and became more frightened that he felt something wet on his legs. Armin saw dark stains and assumed he was bleeding.

It did not matter that Armin was actually fourteen. Trauma always exposed itself in varying forms. Bedwetting was one of them, although it was more common with younger children. Erwin, and Wendy both had begun to suspect that because of how Armin was raised, that he wasn’t as mature as another fourteen year old boy might be. Not that they were mature, but compared to a ten year old child…well, Armin definitely had an independent, rebellious streak to him, but those traits were often forgotten, especially when Armin acted like this.

“You aren’t bleeding Armin. You had a stress-induced accident.” Erwin gently informed Armin while Levi carried the blankets out. Armin stared after Levi, looked back at the bed with disbelief.

“I didn’t—I wouldn’t—” Armin began to deny, and then looked down at himself. He had never been more mortified in his life. “I am so sorry. I didn’t m-mean to, I s-swear…it won’t happen again!” Armin apologized profusely, his face red with hot shame, while he trembled harder.

“It’s alright, Armin. I am not mad at you.” Erwin assured his humiliated son, and gently began to nudge Armin out of the room. “Let’s run a hot bath for you. You’ll feel better then.” Erwin suggested as warmly as he could, wanting to get Armin cleaned up and dressed in warm pajama’s. Armin went with Erwin, in quiet shock that he had an accident. He hadn’t wet the bed since he was four.

Once they were in the bathroom, Erwin readied the bath, and set a towel on to the sink counter for Armin to use when he was finished. Armin still had his head down, and was presumably crying, and or beating himself up over something that hadn’t been his fault. The poor kid really was embarrassed.

“There. You can soak for awhile, and if you need anything, call for me.” Erwin told him, having no intention to stick around. Armin was fourteen. He could wash himself, and he probably needed some privacy. Erwin headed for the door. Armin grabbed Erwin’s hand, and pressed his forehead against his arm.

“Don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone, please. I don’t…I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’m scared.” Armin pleaded, a desperate tone haunting his voice. Erwin stopped. When Armin used that sad, lonely tone, Erwin wanted to comfort him.  Erwin wanted to tell Armin that he would stay. But staying meant that Armin would be naked in front of him, and vulnerable.

Would Armin really be comfortable being naked in front of his father? Erwin knew if he had raised Armin from a baby, being around him while he was naked might not seem so weird. The concept definitely seemed weird now, and Erwin wondered if it was morally acceptable. It wasn’t like Armin had a medical problem that he was concerned about. And what if Erwin saw Armin’s cock? Erwin did not feel like he should know what Armin looked like. Not any more than he had had to.

“Please. Da-…Erwin…” Armin begged, tightening his grip on Erwin’s arm. He didn’t care if Erwin staying meant that he would be seen naked. The night Erwin had kissed his self-inflicted wound on his neck. It had been a tender moment that had had a lasting impression on Armin, enough for him tonight to seek Erwin out when he was scared and panicking. That father-son moment of Erwin not judging him, and not being disappointed in him had allowed a bond to form.

That was obvious now, because Armin had never requested to be naked in front of Erwin before. So despite Erwin’s hesitations, he decided he would stay until Armin wanted him gone. “Alright. I’ll stay.” Erwin promised, and was a bit surprised to see relief shine in Armin’s eyes.

Placated, Armin turned his back to Erwin, and with shaking fingers, he unbuttoned the pajama top, slid it off of his shoulders and pushed his pants down. Erwin looked away out of respect. Armin stepped into the tub, and lowered himself into it. It was the third bath he had this week, which while even he knew it was excessive, a bath would do him good after the accident.

“Do you want to call me Dad?” Erwin asked, having heard how Armin began to address him intimately, and then changed his mind. The topic hadn’t been broached much before, because Erwin didn’t quite know what he wanted Armin to call him.

Biologically, they were father and son. Realistically, Erwin had only been apart of Armin’s life for a little more than a week, and while Erwin had acted as a father, he had missed the first fourteen years of Armin’s life. He didn’t think a week or two could erase missing Armin’s first moments of crawling, walking, and talking.

“I…I don’t know…” Armin admitted, as he pressed his pale legs together. It was an unconscious habit that began back in the village, shortly after he had been gang-raped. He kept his legs shut, in varying styles, all of which prevented quick, and easy access to his intimate parts. Not that it was a problem for Erwin. He didn’t need to even be reminded what Armin looked like. Even when Levi had tried to doctor Armin up back at the village, Erwin had tried not to look.

A few quick glances had been inevitable, none of which he committed to memory. Armin had a right to privacy.

“You can call me Erwin if that makes you comfortable. I won’t force you to call me ‘Dad’ when I wasn’t there for you all of these years.” Erwin relayed, having already thought about this topic. He had also wondered if he had any right to boss Armin around like parents did. So far, Erwin had, for the most part, let Armin do as he pleased around the house. Erwin hadn’t imposed chores on him—Levi wanted the house and dishes cleaned the way he liked, and Armin had been too injured and uncomfortable to contest that.

It wasn’t like Armin had been doing anything alarming—he wasn’t flitting about with shady friends, he wasn’t impregnating teenagers his age, he wasn’t even masturbating. At least, Erwin didn’t think he was. Armin had been pretty easy-going, except for when he got defensive and mouthy, or weepy. But Erwin understood those moments, and punishing Armin for the outbursts then would solve nothing. He settled against the tub, keeping his back to Armin.

“Alright.” Armin commented appreciatively and draped his warm, wet arms around Erwin’s neck. Erwin tensed a bit at the wet, intimate touch. He hadn’t expected it. Armin apparently wanted physical contact. Wendy had said that was a possibility, that he might be inclined to reach out at times, and then reject touch in the same breath. Armin initiating touch was a good thing. Erwin just didn’t appreciate his shirt getting wet in the process. But he didn’t let his grievance known. Erwin lifted his hand up and took hold of one of Armin’s wet hands. Armin retracted his hand self-consciously and rested it on Erwin’s shoulder.

Honestly, Erwin wasn’t quite sure what Armin was doing as he felt his wet face press against the back of his neck. He figured Armin wanted comfort, but not enough to let himself be touch. What his motivation was tonight was what perplexed Erwin. He would of assumed by how embarrassed Armin became, that he wouldn’t have wanted to be naked and cuddling.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Armin confessed softly, and squeezed Erwin’s shoulder. He knew more than anyone else that he wasn’t himself anymore, and he wasn’t even quite sure when he broke. Did he break when he was gang-raped? What about the carrot incident? Or did the trauma go back so much further than that? Maybe he didn’t know who he was.

“You were hurt.” Erwin answered, and felt fresh wetness on the back of his neck. He wasn’t sure if Armin’s hair was dripping water, or if he was crying. Erwin did know by the tone of Armin’s voice that he was still upset.

“Why me?” Armin asked quietly, squeezing Erwin’s shoulder harder. He didn’t understand why he had been targeted. Had anyone else been a victim? Armin knew he had been, and that weighed heavy on his heart. “I was a good kid. I didn’t complain when my stomach ached from hunger. I even took over my mothers chores when she was killed.” Armin lamented, and re-draped his arm around Erwin’s neck.

“You’re right. You didn’t deserve to be hurt. The world is cruel like that, but I hope you don’t lose your heart like they lost theirs.” Was all Erwin was able to say because anything else would have been too cliché. Erwin knew evil existed. He had seen evil throughout his childhood, and met with it again during war. Evil sodomized children and murdered babies. Armin had been spared death, but at what cost?

“Did you know I hate laundry?” Armin wondered aloud then, and rested his chin on Erwin’s shoulder to peer at his hands. The wounds had closed, and scabbed over. Even the raw skin had been covered by a fresh layer of thin flesh. As long as Armin was careful with his hands, they would continue to heal. They trembled lightly, which was an improvement from days ago.

A small smile tugged at the corners of Erwin’s lips upon hearing what seemed to him to be the most natural thing in the world for Armin to say. The comment reassured him that underneath the trauma, Armin was a regular child after all. He didn’t even mind that the statement was off topic.

“That’s okay. I don’t want you to work at all until you’re eighteen. I’ll have Levi teach you all about cleaning then, but for now, I just want you to be okay.” Erwin assured him, and tentatively grabbed one of Armin’s shaking hands. This time, Armin didn’t pull away. He watched Erwin caress the hand, and then saw him press his lips to it. Armin blushed, thinking how Eren used to kiss his hands as well—though Eren’s intent wasn’t quite as innocent and platonic.

“Will you help me? Levi keeps talking about pills…I don’t know if that’s what I need, but I need something because I think about how I was hurt in the day, and then in my dreams I relive the pain.” Armin asked, while Erwin continued to affectionately touch his hand with a father’s wonder. Erwin then held up his other hand and compared his, to Armin’s palm. Armin had his mothers hands. And somehow, that made Erwin think of him as more precious then he already did. Not that he had a soft spot for the woman. She had been beautiful and kind and maybe Erwin would have stayed with her, but he had chosen his career.

Now, Erwin chose Armin.

“Yes. You have a dentist appointment coming up, and after that, is your doctor appointment. Then there’s your visit with Wendy. We’re going to be seeing all of them often, and they’ll guide me on how I can help you. If you need pills, we’ll get you pills. If you want to try meditation, we can try that too. There’s many options, and if we have to explore all of them, we will. Just know that I won’t give up on you no matter how long it takes for the nightmares to turn into dreams.” Erwin responded, taking both of Armin’s wounded hands in his. Armin sighed with content, satisfied with Erwin’s determined promise and pulled away from him to resettle himself into the warm tub.

“Alright. Can I go with you tomorrow? I want to know more about this world.” Armin inquired, expressing interest in leaving the house. He felt cooped up, because when he lived in the village, he was almost always outside. But ever since he had come here, Armin hadn’t been outside. He just stared out the window and watched cars pass by, and saw kids play in the street. Levi had told him that those kids were bound to get run over for being idiots and had advised him to be smarter then them.

“Yeah. Listen, though.” Erwin began, shifting on to his side to look at Armin. It was just too impersonal to talk to him, yet be facing away from him, and maybe Armin had felt that and had sought to bridge the gap between them by getting close and personal with him. Armin looked up at Erwin, his blue eyes attentive and clear. “I need you to stay near me at all times. There are bad people out there who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt you again. There’s gangs, violent foreigners, and other types of criminals. There’s also cars, which could really hurt you.” Erwin informed Armin, not to scare him, but to educate him.

In the malls, young women posing as Christians would try to whisk people away to sex traffickers. None of whom were religious. Outside of department stores men hunted for unsuspecting women to rape. On the local streets, hoodlum children stabbed passer-byers. And in stadiums, foreigners bombed the buildings indiscriminately. Schools weren’t safe either, with people shooting the places up with their illegally obtained gun. Armin needed to be aware that these things did happen, and that hate spread when people ignored cruelty and celebrated it.

Some tribes sodomized their _unwilling_ sons after beating them into submission. No social justice warrior was outraged that those children were being beaten, and sodomized incestually and then gang-raped. Instead, the ‘social justice warriors’ said it would be ‘ethnocentric’ to not let them shove their cocks into a too-small hole that inevitably tore and bled. Then they wondered why Erwin didn’t hold much respect for them, nor their shitty causes. Boys so much younger than Armin was tortured in the same ways that he had been tormented. It made Erwin sick that people condoned this shit.

There were many good folks in the world, but Armin was not likely to encounter many of them because evil was a plague on humanity that spread rapidly. Erwin could only hope that Armin would maintain his innocence, and that his heart wouldn’t turn cruel and jaded.

“Oh. Okay.” Armin agreed amicably, and wrapped his arms around himself. “Can you please buy me warmer clothes? I don’t ever really feel warm.” Armin asked then, because the pajama’s Erwin had bought him were made of a light fabric that did not warm him when the air conditioner was on. And it was always on. Levi kept the house cool. But Armin didn’t have much of any fat on him, which left him vulnerable to the cold. He wanted to be able to be warm around the house.

“Is that why you want to come with me? You should have asked sooner. I didn’t realize you were that cold.” Erwin said, having noticed that Armin seemed cold a lot, but since Armin hadn’t complained about I before, Erwin hadn’t made it a point to inquire about it.

“I didn’t want to impose.” Armin murmured, and fiddled with his own fingers.

“What else do you not want to impose about?” Erwin questioned, concerned there was a lot more that Armin was not saying that he should be. Armin nervously shifted in the bath and kept his gaze on his hands. “If there’s some way I can make you feel comfortable and safe, tell me.” Erwin encouraged, as he pushed some of Armin’s wet hair out of his face.

“Uhm…I…I get scared in my room because I’m concerned that he’ll waltz in and that I’ll have to bite my pillow as he hurts me.” Armin slowly answered, while he shifted uncomfortably in the bath. It was clear to Erwin that Armin didn’t want to make him mad.

“Do you want to sleep next to me? I will protect you.” Erwin suggested, to give Armin another sleeping option. Armin perked up at the thought of sleeping next to Erwin, who was strong, and kind. He then hesitated, and wondered if this was Erwin’s way of getting him alone in a bedroom to fuck as if he were a doll. Erwin saw the uncertainty form in Armin’s eyes. “I promise I won’t touch you like that.” Erwin swore, as earnestly as he could.

It saddened Erwin that Armin had those concerns. Armin should never have to be worried about whether someone wanted to nestle themselves between his legs.

“If you hurt me…I’ll kill myself.” Armin warned, daring to place trust in Erwin. So far, Erwin hadn’t tried to hurt him, even though he was vulnerable. It would be so easy for Erwin to trap him. Armin had no means of escape if Erwin wanted to hurt him. Luckily for him, Erwin wanted to protect him, not hurt him.

“Duly noted.” Erwin responded. His voice was calm, but he hated that Armin was threatening suicide at all. It made Erwin concerned that if he just touched Armin in a way that scared him, that Armin might hurt himself. Still, Erwin really wanted to be there for Armin in case he had another nightmare, so when Armin was ready to leave the bath, Erwin helped him out. Armin dried off with a towel, and then headed into his room to change into clean pajamas.

Once Armin was dressed, he let Erwin guide him into the master bedroom. Armin hesitated as he looked at the large king sized bed. Erwin sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to him. “It’s alright, Armin.” Erwin reassured Armin. Armin shifted a bit on his feet, then he slowly approached the bed and climbed on to it. He laid down, and pulled the blanket over his shivering body.

“Your blanket is warm.” Armin commented, liking the thick blanket much better than the ones he had in his room. If Erwin allowed him to, Armin figured he might start spending a lot of time under this ginormous blanket.

“It’s a feather-down comforter.” Erwin explained, settling down into his spot. Levi entered the room then and paused, seeing the new scenario.

“Feathers from birds?” Armin questioned, and looked to Levi. He froze, having forgotten that to place his trust in Erwin, he would have to test Levi too and he suddenly wasn’t sure what to think of the handsome man he kissed because he thought he had to.

“Yeah.” Erwin answered Armin and then focused his attention on Levi. He reached over Armin and pat the spot beside him. “Our first night as a family. Come on.” Erwin encouraged. Levi hesitated, unsure about how he felt about sharing the bed with Armin. Erwin pat the bed again.

“Fine. Just for tonight.” Levi grumbled, and was glad he worked out his displeased boner while Erwin and Armin were getting cozy in the bathroom because they were apparently not going to resume their sexual encounter. He approached the bed and laid down. Armin was sandwiched between them, though there was space enough for Armin to not feel caged.

Armin withdrew his arms and kept to himself. He wasn’t sure he could trust the men, but he wanted to. That hope, coupled with Erwin’s soft reassurances allowed Armin to lower his guard enough to fall into a light sleep. Erwin draped an arm over Armin’s little body, and looked up at Levi, who had something to say.

“Pills?”

“Pills.”


	15. Stagnant Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The healing process is slow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially, this chapter was meant to be longer. However, I can not muster that. So. I ended this chapter at a good place, I think. The chapter does contain progress though. It does mention how Erwin is taking legal action against Jayne. Armin does receive a bit of culture shock when he goes with Erwin to the grocery store. Hell, I still receive culture shock when I go to the grocery store. lmao. Like, "she wore that!!??" Which I jest, because, I don't always dress up for Walmart either. ><;;

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 15: Stagnant Potato**

The first doctor appointment went surprisingly well. Armin was cooperative, with the understanding he could hold Erwin’s hand. There were parts of the physical check-up that made Armin nervous because he had never done this before, but he kept himself together. He was nutrient deficient, sleep deprived, and alarmingly underweight, but since there was miniscule improvement since the hospital’s first record of Armin, Erwin received a warning to let Armin sleep, and eat. As if that hadn’t been obvious before. Armin was even prescribed Prozac to help regulate his emotions that were out-of-whack not just because of the trauma.

Whether the pills would alleviate Armin’s concerns would be dependent upon how his body responded to them. Erwin then took Armin to the dentist, so they could determine the health, or lack there of, of his mouth. Armin didn’t like this place. It didn’t matter that Erwin held his hand. The dentist poked, and prodded inside of Armin’s mouth, and he didn’t want it. When they arrived back into the jeep, Erwin focused on Armin.

“Why didn’t you tell me your tooth hurt?” Erwin asked with concern in his voice. Armin kept his arms folded indignantly across his chest, and lifted one leg to over the other. He rested his head against the warm window, and refused to look at Erwin.

“It’s normal.” Was all Armin said, and trembled a bit. He had seen a lot of the modern world, and already he didn’t like it, and he just wanted to go home. Armin felt violated, and humiliated—not that anything uncommon was done to him. He just hadn’t experienced any of it before and all of the metal instruments, and noises were nerve-rattling.

“No, it’s not.” Erwin responded, putting the jeep into drive. He wondered if the tooth pain was another reason Armin didn’t eat much. It had been confirmed that his stomach was small—unlike those of most people in the country. And any feelings of stress or discontent could make an appetite nonexistent, but maybe Armin would eat more now that he had work done on his mouth. He hadn’t been a walk in. The appointments had been predetermined the morning after Armin had been brought home.

“I hate that place.” Armin complained pettily, keeping to himself while he tried blinking tears away. “I can’t…I can’t feel much.” Armin muttered, and tentatively rubbed his cheek. He kept thinking about the events that occurred at both the doctor, and the dentist. It was all so foreign, and unsettling to him.

Maybe it was because Erwin was a perpetually concerned parent (with good reason) but Armin complaining about trivial matters seemed like the most natural thing in the world to hear. A soft smile tugged at the corners of Erwin’s lips, and then he set a sympathetic hand on Armin’s shoulder. His precious, wounded boy sounded like a normal, bitchy teenager, and he couldn’t have been prouder. Armin looked at Erwin and blinked, noticing Erwin had ‘that look’ again. The foreign look that made Armin feel vulnerable and exposed, in ways he couldn’t determine whether he liked it or not. Armin gritted his teeth and looked away again.

“That’s okay. Most teenagers hate the dentist.” Erwin assured Armin, as he rubbed the boy’s shoulder. Armin grunted, and watched cars pass by. He noticed there were a lot of red, and white cars. There were pedestrians of all sizes, and colors. Armin couldn’t comprehend the diversity of the world, and when he saw a man with boobs, he was done watching the world outside the window where nothing made sense to him. He grabbed Erwin’s hand that was on his shoulder while he pulled his legs against his chest and pressed his face against his knees.

“I just want to go home where the world makes sense.” Armin murmured gripping Erwin’s hand tighter. Erwin continued to rub his shoulder sympathetically. He understood there was a lot for Armin to take in. Armin hadn’t grown up in the environment where other children his age were hopping on the ‘cool’ trains of gay, trans, and gender fluid.

Everything, and everyone Armin saw was a culture shock, and it left him feeling ill. He grew up in a traditional village, where men were men, and women were women, and they married and produced a child or three. They lived, they died, the cycle repeated. Armin wanted that life. His life. The “right” life.

“One day, Armin. One day.” Erwin assured him, and pulled the jeep into a parking place. “We’re at the store you wanted to see.” Erwin mentioned, while he turned the jeep off.

“I don’t want to go in.” Armin resisted, curling tighter against himself.

“Well, that is a problem than because I am not legally allowed to leave you in the car. You could overheat and dehydrate, or you could be kidnapped by bad men.” Erwin informed Armin, who straightened up with alarm at the mention of bad men. “Come on, I’ll protect you.” Erwin offered, while Armin looked around the parking lot, as his heart beat quickly in his chest.

Now Armin definitely did not want to get out of the car. He looked back at Erwin, who clearly expected him to get out of the jeep and follow. A sense of being caged overcame Armin, and in his frustration, he hit his elbow against the metal door. “I said I don’t want to go!” Armin yelled, feeling as if his choice had been taken from him again.

This was another thing Wendy warned Erwin about—Armin would seek the control that was taken from him each time he was sodomized by acting out as an emotional response. The sexual assaults made Armin feel powerless, and that feeling would make Armin prone to anger, and outbursts, just like this one. It was a expected response, Erwin just wasn’t quite sure how to make Armin feel better. He knew he wasn’t supposed to give in—that would create a monster—but how to talk Armin out of the mood was anyone’s guess.

“We’ll go together.” Erwin suggested, to remind Armin that this was a family event. Armin wouldn’t be alone.

“Why doesn’t anyone listen to me!?” Armin shouted with frustration, and buried his face against his legs again, as he grabbed fistfuls of his hair. He felt as if no one was listening to him, which Wendy had explained to Erwin that that could be a common feeling for the first few months while Armin tried to adjust to the new world.

“I am listening to you, Armin. I hear that you’re scared and overwhelmed. But, I’ll be with you the entire time.” Erwin assured Armin, and rubbed his back gently. Armin was scared of the unknown, and was overwhelmed thinking about what he might see in the store and none of it was good. That’s what his outburst was really about, and Erwin had figured him out. Armin wasn’t sure if he was relieved that Erwin understood him, or if he was more angry that yelling wasn’t getting the desired reaction.

“But I really don’t want to go…!” Armin whined, becoming distraught. He was crying now that anger wasn’t getting him anywhere.

“What food do you like to eat?” Erwin asked patiently, to distract Armin from his mood. Armin straightened up again, to stare at Erwin with confusion.

“What?” Armin stammered, successfully distracted.

“Food. I can buy you food.” Erwin offered, and could almost see Armin’s thought process readjusting in his head.

“I…I am hungry…” Armin relented, and slowly unbuckled himself.

Hunger. Of course. It was no wonder Armin was flipping out. Kids didn’t appreciate being hungry, and Armin had already proven that he didn’t quite know how to ask for food. Erwin was sure that hunger was part of the reason Armin was being emotional. He hadn’t ate since this morning, and that meal had been insufferably small.

Between both doctors appointments, they had been in town four almost five hours. Of course Armin was done. He was tired, and hungry. _Poor boy_. Erwin thought, as he opened the jeep door and climbed out. Armin scooted to the drivers side and let Erwin help him down. Erwin grabbed Armin’s hand, wet with tears, and walked at a slow pace that Armin could keep up with.

“When you’re hungry, tell me, or Levi. We’ll feed you.” Erwin told Armin, who sniffled as he tried to calm down from his break down in the car.

“O-okay…” Armin murmured distractedly, rubbing at his eyes with his other hand, and stared around at the parking lot. Erwin brought Armin to the doors that opened on their own. Armin startled, and squeezed Erwin’s hand tightly, feeling faint from witnessing doors open on their own.

“Those are electric doors. When we step over the sensor, they are triggered to slide open.” Erwin explained, as he gently guided Armin into the store. Armin merely nodded, and kept close to Erwin. Their shoulders kept brushing. Erwin didn’t seem to mind, and as long as Armin wasn’t uncomfortable, there was no harm in it. “These are called shopping carts. We put items in them while we shop.” Erwin said that, but the point seemed mute on Armin because he figured that much out by looking at other people who pushed carts containing groceries.

“There’s so many people…” Armin muttered nervously, becoming hot from stress. There were feminine men, gorgeous women, ugly women, outrageously dressed women, and little girls dressed like sluts and oddly shaped boys. Armin wasn’t sure what to make of any of them, let alone the people he couldn’t label, or identify at all. And a lot of the people looked like a beach whale, and Armin really didn’t know what to think about them. No one had been large in the village because food had always been scarce.

“That’s normal. All kinds of people come here. The larger ones you’re staring at, and you shouldn’t be, are usually tourists. You can tell from their size, and the large bags they carry. White tennis shoes are another outsider feature.” Erwin said, guiding Armin through the store. Armin felt hotter, feeling scolded.

“Tourists?” Armin questioned, and looked at the loaf of bread Erwin picked up. It was already sliced from what Armin could tell, which was odd to him, but odder still was the curved tops on the bread.

“From America. Those that cover their face are from the Islamic countries. And the little ones with smaller eyes are from predominantly Asian countries. I’ll teach you about them all, but for now, don’t comment loudly on them. We don’t want to upset people the way Jayne upset you.” Erwin answered, and put the loaf of bread back. Armin frowned at the mention of that woman. Soldiers probably didn’t like her either. “Is there a bread you prefer?” Erwin asked, to give Armin a choice, and therefore a bit of power over what he might eat.

“Uh…” Armin looked around for anything that looked familiar, and spotted the French rolls, that looked like ‘proper’ bread. “Those.” Armin pointed to the French rolls, which were relatively inexpensive. Erwin grabbed one of them, and picked out a regular loaf of bread that Armin could better eat with sandwiches without as much trouble. “What are the numbers?” Armin wondered, noticing numbers everywhere.

“Prices. We pay to obtain the food that we didn’t grow ourselves.” Erwin responded, and as they shopped, he explained the concept of money to Armin. In the same conversation, Erwin briefly told Armin that stealing was a crime.

That conversation graduated into a brief topic about the local cops, who, were usually good people. In Germany, Erwin explained the cops weren’t legally allowed to arrest, nor punish the Islamic population who roamed free and did what ever it was that they wanted to do before the war. Now, they were held accountable for their actions. But when disputes between Germans occurred, cops could be useful. Cops could also be dangerous. They could beat a criminal to a pulp with a stick if the criminal was unruly, or in a dire scenario, shoot them which was only because of the war. It was important though, Erwin stressed, to show cops respect. If Armin played nice, most cops would play nice too.

The lesson was vital to Armin learning about the country he lived in. Citizens could now own guns, if they passed numerous background checks, and mental health tests, similar to America. Germans were sick of not being able to protect themselves, and being that the third war had been one, they had more freedoms. These were all concepts that Erwin expanded on only briefly, partially because they were in public and partially because these were complex topics that were hard to understand at face value. Armin listened, and learned. Germany was different now, better, according to Erwin. Germany was in the process of becoming “great again.”

What ever that meant.

“Is there a meat you like to eat?” Erwin asked when they arrived at the meat section of the grocery store. Armin looked the meat over and shook his head. He didn’t recognize any of it.

“I don’t know what any of that is.” Armin admitted, taking a wary step back.

“There’s cow meat, pig meat…chicken.” Erwin listed the common meats, but Armin just frowned, so Erwin readjusted his question. “Did you eat meat back at home?” Armin blinked, and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, feeling as if he was supposed to have eaten meat commonly or something.

“No…? There weren’t many animals at all…I think we might have ate a couple of small birds, or cooked up a rat…does a snake count? I think we found one once in summer…but they aren’t common.” Armin answered quietly, wondering if he was odd for not having ate meat like what was in front of him now. Did everyone grow up with the meat availability? He couldn’t help but to feel out of place again.

“Sausage it is then.” Erwin decided, figuring one could not go wrong with authentic German sausage. Armin looked at the long, rounded meats and shuddered, while he turned a bit green. Erwin paused, and realized Armin must have been equating the food to something that had hurt him before. “It may look intimidating, but it tastes good.” Erwin assured him, and picked out a few of the cheaper meats that Levi could work with to turn into a meal.

Once the grocery shopping was done, Erwin brought him to the hygiene aisles, where he encouraged Armin to sniff deodorants, cologne, shampoo’s, conditioners and soaps to find ones he liked. A lot of scents made Armin feel nauseous, and dizzy. Regardless, it was an educational experience for him. He now knew what lavender might smell like, and avocado’s, amongst other things.

Most educational for Armin, more than the brief conversations was the check-out line. Erwin had to hand over a plastic card to the cashier. Then the items in the cart belonged to them. It seemed simple enough. And when they made their way back to the jeep, Erwin helped Armin climb back into the jeep. Armin didn’t need to help him. Not when he was so tired and overwhelmed. Though, Erwin also didn’t want Armin to be burdened with more than what he had to be.

There was plenty of time for Armin to help him with groceries. This was not one of those times. Armin needed to rest, and sort through his thoughts to make sense of everything he had seen, and heard. Erwin brought Armin home, where he could snack on these lunch-able things. He was given a nacho cheese one.

“You bought that junk for him?” Levi accused, pulling Erwin aside, to express his disinterest for the fast snack food that was unhealthy.

“Yeah. If Armin eats it, and we don’t have to cook it, I’m not concerned about it right now. He needs to just be able to eat when he wants to eat.” Erwin defended calmly, standing his ground. Levi groaned

“This is how America got fat. Shit like that.” Levi pointed out, with clear disdain for the food. He’d never admit it, but every now and then he needed to eat a Big Mac too.

“Well, Armin does need to gain weight.” Erwin shrugged, unconcerned about the food.

It seemed like all they ever did since Armin was brought into the house was argue about him. They each had a different idea of how to raise a child. Those views clashed, in moments like this one. Armin sat at the table, dipping the chip into the cheese, and popped it into his mouth. He tried to pretend that he couldn’t hear them arguing about him.

At least they weren’t yelling at each other. If they did begin to yell, Armin would find a dark place to hide, and cower. It wasn’t that he was a sensitive snowflake. He legitimately was traumatized by Boris, who yelled at him a lot, as he hit, or kicked him.

“Fine. Whatever.” Levi relented, crossing his arms across his chest. “What about the money?” Levi then gestured with his head to the table where the receipt was.

All of their savings was being drained on Armin. The bed. The dresser. Clothes. Food. Medical bills. Levi definitely wasn’t getting that new car.

“You might like to know that the most expensive thing I bought was the sausage.” Erwin mentioned, which made Levi scoff.

“Individually, maybe.” Levi muttered unhappily.

No new car. No vacations to France. And Levi bet Erwin was still thinking about remodeling the house, or buying some fucking cottage in the middle of no where just because the kid was displeased with the black and blue modern, metal look of the house.

“Oh, did I mention the lawyer fee?” Levi addressed as an after thought. Armin looked up at the mention of a lawyer—a term he hadn’t heard much before. Erwin noticed, and got the impression Armin could still hear them, so he pulled Levi into the bedroom to talk about adult matters away from Armin, who didn’t need more stress.

Armin did what any child would to. He picked up the plastic food container, and followed the adults. He sat down just outside the shut bedroom door and ate quietly, while he listened to the conversation.

“If I have to downsize, and make some adjustments to our living style, to accommodate and provide for Armin, I will.” That was Erwin’s voice. Armin sat up straighter at the mention of his name. Now they weren’t talking about money—or maybe they still were, but they were definitely talking about him.

“How noble.” Levi sounded sarcastic. He always sounded sarcastic. Armin popped another cheese covered chip into his mouth and chewed lightly.

“You never complained about sleeping under the stars before.”

“I just don’t see why we have to uproot our entire lives for your kid. Shouldn’t he adapt to our way of life?”

“He is. Slowly. Do you know what he said today in the car?”

“What?”

“He hates the dentist.” Erwin’s words were full of father pride, and while Armin didn’t quite understand why he was being spoken highly of for disliking something, it was a better feeling than the dread he had began to feel when he thought that Levi might not like him.

“Maybe he is normal after all.” Levi said with an amused laugh.

The two seemed to be in good spirits, so Armin moved himself back into the kitchen, putting his concerns aside. He ate a few more chips, and then went to curl up in his room to nap.

. . .

The next few months would be tumultuous, and expensive.

Doctors visits, which included twice-a-week visits with the child psychologists Wendy were time consuming and the visits just began. There were reoccurring visits from the social worker as well, to make sure Armin was as comfortable as he could be, considering the circumstances.  Then there were the court fees, and visits with the lawyer, that Erwin alone attended, while leaving Armin at home with Levi. Erwin wanted to protect Armin’s privacy, and make sure that Jayne lost her job over the dirty journalism she conducted by taking her to court and winning. That was the goal, since she made Armin cry, and put him at risk by showing him off to the world on national television which had been illegal.

All of the money she might have gained from that incident, Erwin wanted, if he could just win the court case.  And as the days continued to pass, Erwin took the legal steps necessary to gain full custody of Armin, which included getting Armin a birth certificate, and identification card.

As busy as the first month was, it was rather quiet, except for when he was acting out in a fit of frustration, terror, pent-up anger, or otherwise. Erwin responded calmly, and patiently each time, which de-escalated the strong emotions that normally surfaced when Armin was feeling bad about himself. It wasn’t unusual. Armin had a lot of insecurities, and fears that were slowly being worked through. His strongest reactions were brought about when he felt a lack of security.

These outbursts were limited, because Armin slept most of the days away. Erwin and Levi found it difficult to wake him, and more difficult to get him to stay awake.

“I told you so.” Levi gloated, folding his arms across his chest. He had warned Erwin that the doctor wouldn’t know what dose of anti-depressant to prescribe to Armin. Levi had insisted he should dole the pills out to Armin. Erwin had refused, even though he too knew that Levi was well educated in pills and dosages, but not for the proper reasons a doctor would know them. Still, Erwin wanted to do things the right way, so a doctor’s order was a doctor’s order…and now instead of being sad and pissy, Armin slept. And slept.

After a month of Armin enacting out part of Sleeping Beauty’s fairytale, Erwin had the doctor lower the dosage. Armin was awake then, and dizzy, which had been a concern of his before. Maybe it was because Armin was a bit more conscious now, but he acted more like he had when he first arrived, which meant he was plagued by anxiety, and outbursts. None of it was reason enough to change medications.

A positive side effect of the medicine was that Armin suddenly had an appetite. He wanted to eat everything, cry, and then mope for hours on the couch, sometimes with a book in hand. Armin still wanted nothing to do with the television though, and any time it was turned on, he would escort himself to his bedroom where not much had changed. The only interest Armin showed in anything was books, and bathes.

Since the little blonde sometimes expressed interest in knowledge, books, and bathes, neither adult realized just how much hurt Armin kept inside that the pills were exacerbating, until one afternoon Levi walked in on Armin with a knife pressed against his wrist. Armin was startled to see Levi in the doorway, because he had been napping. Levi had woken up randomly—at least, he had thought he woke up randomly, but now he saw it was a good thing that he did.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Levi asked, sounding calmer than he was internally. Erwin would fucking flip if he ever saw his precious boy cutting himself. And if Erwin was upset, he might cry again and fuck, Levi didn’t to see that. Armin was hurting, obviously, and the more Armin hurt, the more hurt Erwin was too. Erwin beat himself up a lot about Armin’s moods already, and he definitely did not need to know about this.

“I…” Armin stammered, but he was at a loss of words. How could he tell Levi that he cut himself when he was upset? That when the woes of his life weighed on his shoulders, he sought relief the only way he knew how to deal with it—exchange emotional pain for physical pain.

A sigh left Levi’s lips as he approached Armin, and took the knife from him. “Listen, whatever problems you have that entice you to butcher yourself, Erwin can help you with if you just talk to him.” Levi said, in a surprisingly understanding way, that caught Armin’s attention. He had thought that Levi would flip out on him. Levi set the knife down, and then shoved his hand into his pocket to pull out a cloth. He grabbed Armin’s wrist, and pressed the cloth to the fresh cut to apply pressure. Armin looked away as shame heated his cheeks.  

“How do I tell the only man who wants to see me be okay, that I am not okay?” Armin wondered, his voice soft, and sad. He wanted to put the past behind him, but it lingered in his heart like a toxic, flaming candle.

“Just like that. He’ll do anything for you. You just have to learn to ask him for what you need.” Levi responded, as he dabbed at the remaining blood. Armin shifted uncomfortably at the thought of asking people for help. It was something he had struggled with since he arrived here, at their house.

Everyone wanted him to talk to them. Armin didn’t know how. It was something he was sort of working on with Wendy, but he had been taught to keep his emotions, and complaints inside. All of this ‘talk to me and tell me your problems’ was foreign to him. It’s not how he was raised. People dealt with their own problems in their own ways.

As a budding young man, Armin hadn’t been able to justify asking for help. It wasn’t like there had been toys to ask for back at the village. Armin and his grandfather had grew the food they ate—usually. The clothes they wore, they either made themselves, or they bartered with food from those who sewed. Nothing was really ever given to Armin. The food Mrs. Schmidt would bring always had secret strings. She was probably the main reason Armin hated accepting gifts, and felt uncomfortable whenever Erwin bought something for him. He thought of her.

By taking the left over soups from Mrs. Schmidt, Armin felt as if he had been accepting the notion that he was somehow inferior, or at a disadvantage. Mrs. Schmidt always had a sanctimonious way about her, even as she would hug him and mess his hair up. When Erwin did these things, he was honest about them, and kind. But that didn’t mean that Armin could completely differentiate between the two.

“I don’t know what I need.” Armin admitted, despite how his confession stung his pride. He wanted to be strong, and capable. Armin just didn’t know how to be that, when he felt so broken inside.

“You need to stop cutting yourself. You need to stop taking that shit.  And you need to tell Erwin that you need help.” Levi asserted, and set a hand on Armin’s head. “If you can do all of that, I will not tell him about this. I’ll keep this between us, but you better start talking to him.” Levi promised, as he tilted Armin’s head back to look him in the eyes. Armin blinked at him, with his blue eyes still wet from tears.

“I’ll try.” Armin promised weakly, uncertain of just how much strength he had in him. He didn’t feel very strong right now.

“Good. Now, let me bandage you.” Levi told Armin, and helped him off of the bed to guide him into the bathroom where he could bandage his arm up. As Levi wrapped a white bandage around Armin’s arm, Armin sighed.

“I don’t think the pills make me happy.” Armin murmured quietly, as he watched Levi wrap the bandage around his arm.

“They certainly don’t help you the way Erwin can.” Levi reiterated, to repeat the idea that Erwin could help Armin if he just let him. Armin shifted uncomfortably, and looked at the ground. Levi set his hands on Armin’s arms. “You’ll be okay, Kid. You just have to trust him.” Armin sighed again, and pressed his forehead to Levi’s chest, taking brief comfort in him.


	16. Cutting Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi encourages Armin to ask Erwin for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> True to life, the characters flip flop with emotions.

War on Titan

Chapter 16: Cutting Potato

All night long Armin thought about how he could tell Erwin that he needed so much more than he was receiving, and that made him feel horrible about himself. He didn’t want to be a needy bitch. Armin wanted to be independent, and strong…like his grandfather had been. Yet, Armin had deep primal needs that the more he ignored them, the more cuts appeared on his arms.

Mentally, he never wanted to be touched by another man again. But in Armin’s heart, there was a hole that needed to be filled. As he tossed and turned in the bed, Armin thought about when he first consciously realized he had such a need to be held close.

It began when he lost his mother. Once she was dead, there was no one to coddle him, and soothe him when he was scared. He missed her desperately, and just when Armin thought he knew how to live without her and the man he called his father, his grandfather was murdered, which left Armin without a family.

There had been no one left to care for him. To treat his wounds. To protect him from Boris. Armin had been completely alone, and that fucked him up. He panicked, just thinking about how awful that lonely feeling was. In moments like these, all he wanted to do was run to Erwin, and be reassured that he was not in fact alone. His pride, and fear of touch prevented Armin from acting on emotional impulse. Armin instead pulled a pocket knife out of the nightstand drawer.

Some part of Armin’s conscious felt the stinging sensation of his skin being split open. He was worlds away, where he could clearly remember being a lamb under the same roof as two wolves. Armin had been beaten, and sodomized over, and over, and over again. No one rescued him, no matter how hard he wished, hoped, or prayed. In the end, the forced anal sex was put to a stop when Armin successfully poisoned Igor.

At fourteen, Armin had saved himself, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t bitter about it. Those feelings festered inside of him. If he really was such a child as everyone kept telling him he was, why hadn’t he been saved? Why had no one stopped the abuse? Armin had to kill someone to protect himself. What kid had to do that? None that he knew of.

One grim thought led to another. This was how the depression settled into his bones, and spread through them like poison. Armin thought about how weak he was, and how he brought the anal sex upon himself. Boris and Igor had always made Armin feel guilty, as if he had done something to deserve it. Boris even shamed him when ‘his hole swallowed his cock up like a slut.’ It had been humiliating.

Even now, Armin’s face heated with shame, and guilt, that made him drive the pocket knife deeper into his skin. _It’s my fault_. Armin told himself, and remembered how it felt each time a cock pounded into his aching anus. It really had been a horrible feeling. Armin couldn’t even protect his sore hole from the pummeling. _I could have fought harder_. _I could have said no a little louder_. Armin berated himself, thinking of everything he should have done to protect himself.

Something wet splattered on to his groin. Armin snapped out of his thoughts, and looked down at himself. _Blood_. _My blood_. Armin’s eyes bulged open upon seeing the blood that stained his pajama pants. Immediately he was brought back to his days as a prisoner of war—it was a loosely applicable term—and screamed.

Not for a minute did Armin think rationally about this. The blood stain wasn’t anywhere near his butt, but Armin responded emotionally, facts be damned. Armin panicked, more concerned with the harmless blood on his pants than the fact that he probably hit a artery, or a vein of some sort. With emotion ruling over Armin’s frantic brain, he clambered off of the bed, rushed down the hall and burst into the bedroom, yelling, ‘Dad,’ the whole way there.

Sitting upright with the laptop was Erwin, with just the nightstand light on. Erwin looked up when Armin entered, and did not realize Armin was actually referring to him as ‘Dad’ because he had not done that since he was sick with a life-threatening fever back when they first met.

“Dad!” Armin exclaimed impatiently, his voice full of alarm and terror. Erwin furrowed his eyebrows with confusion, thrown off, and perplexed by the foreign title, and set the laptop off to the side, closer to Levi who was asleep. “Help me, I’m bl-bleeding and I don’t…I don’t know why.” Armin panicked, sounding helpless, and young as he frantically gestured to his pants.

One look was all Erwin needed to see that Armin had cut open his arm. Wendy had warned Erwin that suicide attempts were common, and that they should be monitored, and discouraged, not through anger, nor judgement, but through patience and understanding. The last thing a suicidal child needed was to be yelled at. That’s why Erwin swallowed his initial reactions of panic and alarm. He forced himself to move slowly, and deliberately, in his approach to Armin.

“Don’t panic, Armin.” Erwin instructed, and ushered Armin into the bathroom where he could take care of him, and not wake Levi up in the process. For now, Erwin needed Levi to sleep. Armin wasn’t his kid anyways, which was something he had made clear a few times already—not to Armin, thankfully. Armin didn’t need the insecurity that Levi didn’t quite want him around, fucking up their way of life, so Erwin was glad Levi kept his feelings to himself.

Hell, Levi could blame Armin all he wanted to for ending their sex life, and free life style, as long as he never let Armin know that he did. If Armin’s feelings ever got hurt, Erwin might kick Levi out, and Levi probably knew that. It was a good thing the guy was generally stoic, and had a high tolerance.

“B-but but…but!” Armin stammered fearfully as he was guided into the bathroom, and then flinched when the electric light was turned on. He hated the unnatural bright lights, even when he was in one of his panic-modes. Erwin just hoped Armin’s mood wouldn’t escalate into another panic-attack that inevitably ended with Armin passing out. Wendy had said to watch out for that too, to, try to calm him, and if he’s inconsolable, to make sure he keeps breathing.

“You’re okay.” Erwin said that, but his assurance didn’t calm either of them as he grabbed a towel and wiped some of the blood off of Armin’s arm to see the cut. With Armin’s pajama sleeve rolled up, Erwin could see the old scars. It was anyone’s guess as to when Armin started to find relief in a knife. Erwin did not comment on the cuts at all, as he pressed the towel to the wound, and applied pressure. He waited, and listened to Armin’s worried sniffles.

Neither of them were convinced that the wound would stop bleeding.

“Ugh.” Armin popped his eyes open, and turned his attention to the doorway. Erwin looked over his shoulder to see Levi had been awoken, but for as irritated as he looked, there was a certain amount of acceptance on it. “I’ll grab the alcohol, and the sewing kit. You dab at the wound so I can see what I’m doing, and tell your boy he’ll be okay.” Levi instructed, as he stepped into the lit bathroom and hunted under the sink for the sewing kit.

“I’m…I’m sorry…!” Armin blurted, feeling guilty and ashamed that he got caught by Levi too who already helped him earlier in the day for the same damn reason. He had had plenty of time to ask Erwin for help, but he had been too nervous to do so, and then his dark thoughts consumed him.

“Why? You went to Erwin for help after all, just like I told you.” Levi pointed out, as he quickly, but mechanically grabbed everything he needed. He knew first-aid kits well and a bit of blood did not make him cringe. Yeah, blood could be gross and infested with diseases, but, Levi was sure based on his physical exams, he didn’t have any contagious diseases to worry about.

“You can always come to me for help, Armin.” Erwin reminded him, and kept the pressure on Armin’s arm until Levi was ready to do his things. Normally, 112 was called, but Erwin and Levi both knew what they were doing, since they did have military training. There were some incidents better left to the authorities, but this was something they could handle. “I may not have been there for you when you needed me, but I am here now.”

“I didn’t mean to. Please, make the bleeding stop. I don’t want this!” Armin begged, scared he cut himself too deep. The knife was just meant as a temporary release—he really hadn’t been trying to cut a vein up. “I won’t do it again, I swear…!” Armin swore, his voice loud, and panicky.

“We’ll help you, it’s what family does, but right now, shut up and bite down on this.” Levi asserted, and shoved a washcloth into Armin’s mouth. “Hold his arm tight.” Levi told Erwin, and when the other complied, he rubbed a cleansing alcohol pad over Armin’s arm. Armin protested noisily into the cloth, and tried to jerk his arm away, but Erwin held it tight to let Levi clean the wound.

“Let me rephrase that for him. You’re a responsibility I always wanted, but never thought I’d have.” Erwin told Armin, as he dabbed some of the blood away so Levi could see well enough to push a needle through the pale skin, and pull it taut.

“Whatever. The point is, is that Erwin wants you in his life.” Levi restated, as he began to stitch the wound shut. There was a hint of jealousy in his tone that was the source of slight contention between him, and Erwin, particularly when Erwin was ‘too tired’ to engage in sexual activities because he had spent the entire day educating Armin, or comforting him because, ‘oh god the television turned on again and some bitch was raising her voice to a guy who screamed louder.’

Erwin sighed irritably at Levi, to express his displeasure at the unfounded jealously. Armin didn’t notice the silent innuendo’s because he was busy watching his skin be pulled together with intrigued horror, until he wobbled. Erwin reacted quickly, and steadied his paling son. “Careful. If you don’t feel well, tell me.” Erwin encouraged Armin, whose breath was becoming quicker. Armin closed his eyes, and leaned back against Erwin for support, feeling dizzy, and weak in the arms.

“He can’t when his mouth is full.” Levi pointed out, and paused in his work. “Get him on the ground.” Levi added, noticing Armin was becoming pale.

“I was thinking the same thing.” Erwin agreed, as he carefully shifted Armin to sit on the ground. Armin reluctantly let himself be pulled to the ground, and tilted his head back. “But, this is unnecessary.” Erwin mentioned as he pulled the washcloth out of Armin’s mouth. Armin gasped a bit, and leaned his head back against Erwin.

“Dizzy.” Armin immediately spoke up, while he blinked tears away. He was relieved he could speak if he wanted to. Armin then rubbed at his eyes. He wasn’t scared anymore. Erwin and Levi were treating him gently, and calmly. They knew what they were doing, and their take-charge nature calmed Armin.

There was still one thing that left him unsettled. “Boris didn’t like it when I screamed too much. He shut me up a lot, sometimes with…with…what’s a lollipop?” Armin asked, distracted from the pain by his unpleasant memories. Boris had referred to his penis as a ‘lollipop’ more then once, as if Armin was supposed to know what a lollipop was. He didn’t. And how could he? Erwin hadn’t bought any lollipops yet.

Both men paused with silent horror.

“…A lollipop is a candy that children lick.” Erwin answered slowly, and set his hand on Armin’s forehead. He then turned his attention to Levi, and sent a, ‘never shove anything into his mouth again,’ look. Levi returned the stare with a, ‘Would you have preferred him to bite his tongue?’ look. Armin recalled the colorful packaged food in the check-out aisles that Erwin had told him were candy. None of them looked very lickable though.

“Then why…that’s not…you said candy tastes sweet. _That_ was salty.” Armin muttered with dismay, and sighed tiredly. The panic and trauma he felt had gave way to a quiet calm. It wasn’t that he felt safe. Not quite. He just didn’t feel scared. Erwin and Levi were calm, and attentive to him. Neither one of them made him feel bad for having a moment of weakness. They weren’t yelling, nor screaming at him either. If Armin had to choose how he felt, he decided that he felt supported. Maybe that was one reason he could talk so easily about ‘lollipops’ and what he had done with them.

‘ _That is why I’m ‘not in the mood’ much_.’ Erwin sent the message to Levi with his eyes. They had been together for years, and could practically read each other’s thoughts. Levi just rolled his dark eyes, and finished patching Armin up. Their lack of a sex life was not something Levi wanted to discuss with eyes. Levi wiped Armin’s arm down with a cold, water-damp rag and then wrapped gauze, and bandages around it for good measure.

“Get goin’ Scamp. I need those clothes off you or the blood will never wash out.” Levi said, while he began to put things away. Armin was finicky about blood—Levi already had seen the evidence of that any time he had to rebandage Armin’s hand wounds, during the first week. Armin either panicked, or fainted.

And when Armin was panicking, fainting, or having some other type of outburst, Erwin’s sole attention was on the needy brat. It was annoying to Levi, but he knew that Armin was the key to Erwin’s heart. If Armin was not having a melt down, Erwin could focus on court, legalities, or what ever else he did that still revolved around Armin, or was being done because of Armin, but when all of that was done, and if Erwin wasn’t crashing, that was Levi’s time to spend with Erwin. So Armin cutting himself open had been Levi’s problem, because, as long as Armin was bleeding, Erwin wouldn’t cuddle with him, which meant he knew the moment he heard Armin flipping out, and Erwin’s retreating footsteps that he had to help calm the dramatic kid down or Erwin just wasn’t going to come back to bed—or worse, bring Armin between them on the bed, as he often did, or tried to do.

“O-okay.” Armin murmured and slowly stood up. He wobbled a little, but with Erwin’s support, Armin steadied himself, and carefully left the bathroom to go change out of his clothes in the privacy of his bedroom. Armin stopped in the doorway, set his hand on the frame to balance himself, and looked over his shoulder towards Levi. “Uh…thank you for encouraging me to go to Erwin today…” Armin thanked, as he tentatively rubbed his sore arm, and then left the bathroom.

“You talked to Armin today about something like that?” Erwin wondered, raising an impressed eyebrow towards Levi, who was now bleaching blood off the floor.

“Yeah.” Levi confirmed, without offering any other information, particularly that he found out about the cutting earlier today, and had actually suspected it for the last few weeks, from noticing small dark spots on Armin’s sleeves—he always wore shirts with long sleeves. Levi still thought Armin wore them because he really did get cold, having little body fat to insulate him, but now he knew there was a darker reason the kid wore shirts with sleeves.

“What brought that conversation on?” Erwin asked curiously as he stood up, and glanced towards Armin’s room, and confirmed the door was shut. Armin always shut, and locked his door when he changed, or when he bathed—he was still a bit nervous of the shower. He supposed the behavior was not unusual, but the reason why Armin was cautious concerned Erwin. Armin definitely wasn’t as scared and distrustful of them as he was when they first brought him home, but, especially with the new knowledge that Armin cut himself, there were still problems to be addressed.

“Nothing.” Levi responded curtly, just as he finished putting away what he would not be using to clean what ever else Armin may have gotten blood on in the rest of the house. He turned then to leave the bathroom.

“Wait.” Erwin asserted, knowing damn well when Levi was trying to brush him off. “You knew.” Erwin guessed, and felt his suspicion be confirmed when Levi pulled away from him. Levi did not want to lie to Erwin, so he stepped into hall where he knelt down to clean the blood off the floor. Silence was the best answer he could give Erwin.

A door opened, and Armin stepped out of the bedroom with his dirty pajama’s in his arms, and was dressed in a fresh pair. He stopped, sensing something was off between the adults. “How could you not tell me?” Erwin fumed, raising his voice to express his exasperation. He was not yelling. Armin still retreated back against the door, second-guessing his quiet-calm peace.

“Why did you not tell me? How long have you even known?” Erwin badgered, pursuing Levi into the bedroom. Armin hadn’t quite heard Erwin raise his voice before. It was normally Levi whose voice became sharp.

“Awhile? I don’t know. It doesn’t even matter. You’d have flipped out no matter what and I had it under control anyways.” Levi dismissed flippantly, mopping the bedroom floor Armin’s breath always hitched at when his foot touched it. Armin bleeding on it earlier made Levi have a newfound appreciation for the wood as opposed to carpet.

“Control. Control? He could have died tonight!” Erwin exclaimed, in a rare expression of outrage. He knew Levi had his secrets but he never thought that Levi would have kept something like Armin cutting himself a secret. Armin felt the color drain from his face. He dropped the clothes, and scurried back into his bedroom to cower. Erwin was definitely mad. Armin hid under the blanket, to pretend to be asleep if either adult came to check on him. Or yell at him. Not that they had before. But Armin’s fleeting trust and security that came and went in spurts was gone.

“Well I’m oh so fucking sorry that I didn’t want to make you worry about him anymore then you already do.” Levi rounded on Erwin with heavy, powerful sarcasm. Erwin almost backed down, until he remembered the jealous tone Levi took with him earlier.

“This isn’t about me. You just don’t want more of my attention on him because it means you’ll get ‘less’ of my attention.” Erwin accused haughtily, tired of Levi being jealous of his child. It was petty. Irritating. Selfish. Armin needed to be showered with affection. And some days, Erwin couldn’t imagine Armin walking in on them having sex and realizing what was going on. Armin almost caught them once, and Erwin didn’t want to take that chance most days. So until Armin was independent enough to attend school, or a geek team, Erwin didn’t see many opportunities to engage in the sex Levi wanted.

“He doesn’t even want your attention!” Levi shouted back, with a gesture of his arm towards the hall. “I do. I want you. And all you do is chase after him, no matter how many times he rebukes your advances.” Levi stressed, expressing some of his own frustrations he kept back a lot.

“Don’t make it sound so lewd. Armin has difficulties expressing his wants and needs. He keeps a lot of pain in, and apparently he takes it all out on himself, which _you_ knew about.”  Erwin snapped, throwing that back at Levi, who rolled his eyes.

“I might have suspected Armin was cutting himself for awhile, but I only found out today. I didn’t tell you because I had an understanding with him that he would come to you about it and he did. So fuck off. I’m sleeping on the couch.” Levi stated, abandoning the mop to gather up a couple of pillows. There was something final about the way he said that that left Erwin uneasy.

Of course they had argued before, and had disagreements. There was something different about this conflict, one Erwin felt was tearing them apart, and he didn’t like that feeling. He stopped Levi at the door. “Wait. Don’t go. We’ll can work this out.” Erwin conceded, not wanting to ever reach a point in their relationship where they gave up on talking conflicts out.

“What’s there left to say? You care about Armin more than you care for me.” Levi muttered, holding the pillows under his arms.

“He’s my son, and he needs me, even if it’s true that he doesn’t _want_ me.” Erwin implored, wanting Levi to understand that the reason he cared for Armin was entirely different then the reason he loved Levi. It was two completely different kinds of loves. The love he felt for Armin was pure. What Erwin liked about Levi was the companionship, and the sex. They were two tops that fought for dominance, and it was thrilling. Now, it didn’t seem necessary. All that was necessary to Erwin was making sure Armin was okay, and maybe that was the problem.

“Armin, Armin, Armin.” Levi exasperated, feeling as if his point had been proven. He pushed past Erwin, done with hearing how Armin took his place. Armin who didn’t seem to want Erwin, nor understand how to appreciate him or the attention Erwin wanted to shower him with. Erwin grabbed Levi’s arm.

“Wait. You didn’t let me finish.” Erwin pressed, though Levi wrenched away from him. _Damn it_. Erwin cursed to himself, remembering how resistant Levi was to words. Levi was swayed by actions, and mantra’s, not long monologues. Erwin rushed forwards, pushed Levi against the wall, and smashed their lips together. Levi dropped the pillows and returned the kiss eagerl as he curled his arms around Erwin’s neck.

This was what he wanted. It was what he knew. Levi pressed against Erwin, deepening their kiss. Erwin lifted Levi up enough to bring him into the room and kicked the door shut with a kick of his foot. It wasn’t odd for arguments to degenerate into angry sex. Erwin laid Levi on to the bed, and crawled on top of him. Levi made a noise of approval and parted his legs when Erwin nudged at them with his knee. He didn’t normally care to lay under Erwin but if Erwin was actually going to fuck him, he wasn’t going to complain.

Since talking might ruin shit between them, Levi didn’t say a word. Instead, the men tugged on each other’s clothes, and stripped each other bare. Their clothes were discarded around the room from where the materials had been thrown. Neither one cared if the abyss made off with one of their socks because it had been weeks since they had made it this far with each other. Any other time they had tried to do something, Armin had conveniently needed attention, and adult supervision.

Now, Erwin was sure Armin’s crisis for the night was over—he suspected in the back of his mind that Armin might wake up from a nightmare any time after midnight, which meant they had thirty minutes to fuck the anger and sexual frustration out of each other. With that in mind, Levi stretched his fingers out to the nightstand drawer and struggled for a moment to open it, and then dug around for the bottle of lubricant. Erwin took the bottle from him and poured some of the liquid on to his fingers, and then pushed one into Levi, who gasped a bit and wiggled his hips.

“No time.” Was all Levi said, pressing for Erwin to get around to poking him before Armin inevitably had another problem. Erwin nodded to express his understanding, and took a moment to lubricate himself well. He then shifted, and positioned himself at Levi’s entrance and pressed their hips together, inserting his penis into Levi. Levi didn’t flinch. He was well accustomed to Erwin’s body.

This was all second nature to them, the touches, the hot, heavy breaths, and the pounding of their hearts. Erwin kissed Levi’s neck, and began to thrust in, and out of Levi’s body. Levi rocked his hips up in time with his lover’s thrusts. He wasn’t a pillow princess, nor was Erwin. That was what they liked about each other. Each of them were dominant, and thus equal during their sexual endeavors. On good nights before Armin, they enjoyed each other’s company for long bouts of time.

Time was not a luxury the adults did not have anymore. They made out, sucked, and bit as they fucked. Erwin rhythmically pounded his cock into Levi’s anus, and rubbed against the prostate. Levi grunted, and moaned. When their bodies flushed red with orgasm, they panted, and laid next to each other for a few minutes, reveling in their renewed bond.

“I should check on Armin.” Erwin mentioned, as he shifted off of the bed and began to gather his clothes up to put back on to himself.

“Fine.” Levi relented, folding his arms behind his head. At this point, he didn’t care what Erwin did with Armin, because Levi got what he wanted. It took some bitching but they were both calmer now.

“I might bring Armin back with me.” Erwin informed Levi, who sighed a bit.

“I figured.” Levi muttered, knowing the kid slept between them more often then not. That had been a source of strain as well because Armin woke if he was brushed against at all. Levi hated not being able to splay his limbs out, and kick them where ever he wanted to. But, Levi felt as if he could deal with it tonight.

With a understanding reached, Erwin kissed Levi, then headed to Armin’s room. Erwin grabbed the door handle and twisted it, but realized the door was locked. Erwin sighed irritably, and dug his hand into his pocket to pull out the key he kept with him. He unlocked the door, twisted the knob, pushed the door open and stepped into the darkly lit room.

The only sources of light were the moonlight coming in from the window, the night-lamp, and the candle that was lit on the nightstand. Erwin still hadn’t convinced Armin to stop leaving the candle on, even though there were two night lights stationed around the room strategically to make the room not pitch black. And that damn window, with its curtains spread open wide, letting everyone outside see into the once-office space. Erwin shut the curtains. A hand grabbed on to his shirt.

“Don’t.” Armin requested, his voice small, and shaky from cowering in his room while the adults fought, and fucked.

“I thought you were asleep.” Erwin commented, and snuffed the candle out next. Armin groaned loudly with protest. “Why don’t you come lay with me? I think it’ll be good for you.” Erwin suggested, wanting to keep Armin close after realizing the extent of his broken self-esteem. The kid didn’t like himself. He didn’t seem to want to live—not here, at least.

“Oh…n-no…” Armin stammered, shifting uncomfortably under the faux safety of his blanket. He stared at the mattress, and remembered how Levi urged him to talk to Erwin, and how often Erwin tried to encourage him to talk to him about his feelings. He sucked in a breath for courage, and gripped the pillow tightly. _I’ve been silent for too long. If he hits me, I’ll flee_. “You said I’d be safe here but you scared me.”

_He must have heard me yell_. Erwin realized, thinking back on how Armin was going to change clothes, and bring the dirty ones back to Levi. That was about the same time Erwin and Levi started to argue. It was no wonder, looking back on it, that Erwin hadn’t seen Armin again. He heard yelling and ran. _Damn it_.

Ever since Erwin brought Armin home, he had made it a point to keep heated discussions behind a closed door. And even then, Erwin had been careful not to raise his voice too loud. Tonight, maybe it was stress, or left-over nerves from seeing Armin bleeding and panicking profusely and having to remain calm for him for so long that he snapped at Levi a bit more than he should have. They were in a better place now, but Armin might not know about that, nor care. Wendy had pointed out that children could be self-centered.

“I am sorry, Armin. I had no right to yell like that.” Erwin apologized, and knelt down on one knee so he wouldn’t tower over Armin. He folded one arm on the bed and tried to grab Armin’s with the other. Armin retracted his hand. “I did not mean to scare you. I was angry with Levi. We yelled a bit, and then we worked it out so you don’t have to worry anymore.” Erwin explained tentatively, wanting to reassure Armin that everything was okay now, even if it had been scary then. In time, Erwin hoped Armin would be okay with the fact that grown-ups argued sometimes, and that was okay. Some said it was healthy.

“It wasn’t just the yelling the scared me.” Armin muttered stubbornly, with a frown on his face. He heard the mattress creaking. There was only one reason mattresses creaked like that, that Armin could think of, and no pleasant thoughts came to mind.

“Then what?” Erwin asked, a bit perplexed that there was another reason as to why Armin felt scared, and betrayed. Armin fidgeted a bit, uncomfortable with the thought of being candid about his suspicions, and wondered if there was another way to let Erwin  know what he heard.

“The mattress was creaking. My mattress only creaked like that when Igor was hurting me.” And just like that, Erwin remembered why he hadn’t been interested in having sex with Levi. A bit of sex healed one relationship, but at what cost? Erwin mentally scolded himself.

“You are right. I won’t deny that I, with Levi, engaged in a consensual activity.” Erwin conceded, because there was no point to lying to Armin. Armin was clever, and he’d already pieced enough together. Armin frowned, disgusted with the confirmation. All he could think about was how sex hurt—never mind his moment with Eren that he hadn’t processed yet.

“Why would you do something like that!?” Armin blurted, horrified anyone would engage in consensual anal sex. Erwin swallowed the initial instinct to apologize and placate. He readjusted his thoughts.

“I love Levi.” Was all Erwin said, yet he never saw Armin move that damn fast. Armin pressed his back against the wall, shook, and held the blanket over his chest. Any angry emotional outburst Armin might have had was replaced with abject terror, and disgust.

“I don’t love you.” Armin hastily yelled, raising his voice while pressing his legs together. “I don’t, I don’t, I don’t.” Armin repeated, in his re-found terror that he might be touched because Erwin loved Levi, but did _that_ to him. _Did Igor love me? Is that why he…why…but Boris didn’t love me…? He hit me_.

_Damn it. Wrong time to confess_. Erwin mentally kicked himself, and took a step back from Armin to make him not feel so cornered. “That’s okay, Armin.” Erwin said that, even though the words hurt him. “I would never touch you like that because you are my child.” Erwin tried to explain, as patiently as he could. There were two types of love, and the love Erwin felt for Armin was pure.

“But you love me!” Armin accused, holding the blanket tighter against himself.

“Not in that way.” Erwin assured quickly, and kept his distance despite how much he just wanted to hold Armin and tell him that everything would be alright. Armin paused in his hysteria. Erwin had his attention, if only for a moment. “A proper father would never engage in sexual activities with their child. It is morally objectional, illegal, and scientifically, even gentle sex can harm them emotionally, and physically.” Erwin informed him, since this was a lesson that Armin needed to understand. He didn’t care to mention how Armin already understood how some of the science of sex with a minor was physically, and emotionally damaging. Armin’s own body had been too small, while the man, or men had been too large.

Slowly, Armin began to untense his tight nerves, and relax his shoulders. “Legally, sex occurs between two adults. You are not an adult, and even when you become an adult, I won’t ever put you in that position.” Erwin swore, while trying to put the situation into perspective for Armin. Wendy had probably told Armin this all before, but Armin needed constant reassurances because he had been hurt by adults, strangers even, which was almost unheard of.

Statistically, children became victims of incest—not stranger-danger. Armin was one of the few who had a forced sexual encounter with a stranger. Or four. Armin didn’t remember until he dreamed.

“Which position? I hated when my arms were held behind my back. My wrists bruised, and I felt like a horse.” Armin muttered, and idly rubbed his wrist with the memory of being plowed into like he had been. Erwin tried not to let the horror show on his face.

“No position. You’ll never have to be concerned about me, and if I ever did touch you like that, you can call RAINN.” Erwin suggested, referring to the Rape Abuse Incest National Network that Armin could call if he had been hurt, or put in harms way. He could also call the social worker.

“Even if you love him, why would you do that with him? I don’t understand.” Armin changed topics, still stuck on how anyone could have consensual anal sex. He was conveniently forgetting his time with Eren at the crick. Then again, that was still a different concept to Armin. Erwin wanted to groan inwardly. He wasn’t ready for this talk. That sex could feel good.

“Sometimes, if enough lubricant is applied, sex doesn’t hurt. It can even feel good when you’re with someone you like.” Erwin answered candidly, figuring concise terminology would be preferred, even if it was a bit more triggering.

“I don’t believe that.” Armin asserted, folding his arms across his chest. He had been hurt too much by sex to believe that it could feel good. Erwin tried not to be bothered that Armin was withdrawing again. He could tell by the way Armin stayed just out of reach—it was a unconscious habit of his anyways, but when he was nervous like he was tonight, he kept further away.

Maybe it was better that way. Erwin was too grabby, even when he wasn’t. He just had this urge to protect, and comfort. Erwin had to remind himself a lot that Armin needed to be allowed to have space.

“Well, that’s okay too. I just want you to know that I am sorry that I scared you, and that being that you’re my boy, I’ll never hurt you like they hurt you.” Erwin promised, deciding to wrap the conversation up so they could both get some sleep and rest easy. He felt as if they were on slightly better terms, despite the hiccup that occurred when Armin had jumped to the wrong conclusion. Armin seemed to sense that Erwin was planning to leave because he shifted on the bed, indecisively towards him.

“Then…can I lay with you?” Armin asked, deciding he didn’t want to be alone tonight after all. Some of his fears had been alleviated, for now.

“Of course.” Erwin agreed, and was pleased to see Armin shuffle off of the bed. Armin grabbed Erwin’s hand, and let Erwin escort him out of the bedroom. They were on better terms. At least, Erwin thought they were.

“But…you’re not my father.” It was an offhanded comment, as if it had been an after thought. Yet it still made Erwin frown. “And I won’t call you that.” Armin said, voicing his inner thoughts. Erwin might be his biological father who was taking care of him now, but Armin didn’t yet feel comfortable with proclaiming Erwin to be his Dad.

“I understand.” Erwin responded, and led Armin into the bedroom. It would take time to gain Armin’s permanent trust, and devotion. So as much as Erwin was upset to hear Armin’s feelings on the matter, he knew he had to respect them. Armin needed time.

Erwin sat down on the bed first, and shifted the laptop on to the nightstand. He then pat the spot beside him. Armin climbed on to the bed, and lowered himself down slowly, and carefully. He wanted to be near Erwin, but he wasn’t in a cuddling mood, something Erwin picked up on when Armin didn’t nestle against him.

That was okay.

Even small steps forwards were encouraging.   


	17. Our Potato Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tragedy brings the family closer together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is rape in this chapter. I won't ask for forgiveness. I'll just insist it's crucial to the story.

War On Titan

Chapter 17: Our Potato Boy

“School?” Armin repeated, astonished that Erwin and Levi were debating over whether or not to enroll him into a public school. The idea was, to Armin, asinine, and terrifying. He wanted no part of a building where he would be crowded by other teenagers who he was sure he would stand out amongst like a sore thumb.

In the few short months Armin had been with Erwin, he had gained weight, and resembled a young, thin German boy. However, his speech, and gait did not mirror that of many other people—something Armin had noticed and had become self-conscious of whenever he went into town with Erwin, or occasionally, Levi. Some people had already remarked about Armin’s ‘accent’, which prompted Armin to keep quiet in town.

“It’s called Titan Recovery. It’s a make-up school, where you’ll be tutored by a private educator, who will help prepare you for the upcoming school year.” Erwin explained, as gently as he could. This wasn’t the first time that the topic of school had been broached, yet Armin was just as disinterested as before.

“A private educator means we’re never getting a reliable car.” Levi grumbled, folding his arms across his chest. It was clear he lost the debate, which was not uncommon when the center piece spoken about was Armin. Erwin knew what was best for Armin, and even when he did not, he was still Armin’s father, and Levi grudgingly relented these debates.

“Legally, you do need to be enrolled in a school. I figure Titan Recovery will be good for you.” Erwin said, ignoring Levi’s gripe. The jeep worked just fine, and even when it did not work fine, Erwin managed to make it run again with WD40 and a Craftsman’s wrench. Armin frowned with displeasure, and crossed his own arms over his chest, mirroring Levi’s grumpiness.

“I do not want to go.” Armin asserted firmly, while he stared at the ground. He was aware that Erwin was in charge of him, but he still had a voice and he was going to use it, no matter how petty he might sound.

“I hear you. However, this is not a choice either of us can refuse.” Erwin reaffirmed, to make sure Armin understood that this time, there was no choice.

All children had to be enrolled in public or private school. Some children were tutored at home, but neither Erwin nor Levi had time to educate Armin more than they already were and if the adults were honest, they needed a bit of a break from the otherwise constant supervision Armin had required.

School would be good for Armin.

. . .

A phone rang. Erwin pulled his phone out of his pants pocket and looked at the caller I.D. that read; 

_Titan Recovery_.

It had been two weeks since Armin had been enrolled into Titan Recovery. That first week had been extraordinarily difficult. Armin had been anxious, and too quiet. He was vulnerable without Erwin and Levi, and that was a concern. He needed to learn to be independent, and okay without them, and that was another reason Erwin kept encouraging Armin to attend the school because he would learn that there. Each day Erwin picked Armin up, he was shaky, and pale, but Erwin was hopeful that all of this would pass. Armin was astute after all, and his progress in academics was not concerning.

None of the education had been easy. Armin had come home a few times upset, frustrated, and crying because he was learning just how much he didn’t know about the world that he thought he knew. That was normal, for kids who were in similar situations. Unlike some other kids, Armin retained the information and was able to comprehend it.

Knowing all of that, Erwin was not too concerned when he answered the phone, and pressed it to his ear. Immediately, a shrill old woman’s voice was screaming in his ear. Erwin couldn’t even get a word in. The only thing that was clear was that he needed to get down to the school right away.

“Who was that?” Levi asked sharply, noticing how pale Erwin was.

“The school. She said that Armin attacked Mr. Clint.” Erwin answered grimly, while concern etched itself on to his face. Levi tensed with alarm.

Nothing more needed to be said. Erwin and Levi hurriedly put their shoes on, and clambered into the jeep. Neither of them knew what to think about the alarming call. They both knew that Armin had outbursts of anger, and that he was capable of murder—through poisoning, not physical violence, but with how distraught and broken Armin was, they supposed he was capable of anything if he felt threatened. Armin had hit Erwin before, when he felt trapped, or was in the midst of a freak-out induced by panic. The violence had only ever been in retaliation and self-perseverance.

_God, he told me he wasn’t ready to do any of this. Maybe I should have listened, and tutored him myself_. Erwin lamented to himself as he drove the jeep to Titan Recover. He had no idea what to expect, only that Armin was not cooperating with the staff, and that police were going to be involved and all of that was a nightmare. Armin was too young to have some type of criminal, or juvenile delinquent record. The boy was too innocent as well, even if he was guilty of assault, because Erwin was sure that Armin had just gotten spooked.

There had to be a rational, and reasonable explanation for this that was eluding Erwin. He parked the jeep, and turned it off. Levi set a reassuring hand on Erwin’s shoulder.

“You know we’re going to go in there, and the old nag will be harping on about some inane shit that isn’t actually a big deal.” Levi told Erwin, who took comfort in his lover’s reassurance. Erwin nodded in acknowledgement and made his way out of the jeep.

“I hope you’re right.” Erwin responded, and briskly walked towards the front doors of the school. He paused as they opened, to reveal Mr. Clint being wheeled out by paramedics. Erwin stepped aside, while his blue eyes widened in surprise. A bloody cloth really was being pressed over the educator’s left eye, as if Armin really did stab him with something. They made brief eye contact.

“You! Your wild son did _this_ to me!” Mr. Clint shouted accusingly, as he pointed at his eye. Erwin felt Levi’s hand rest on his shoulder again, and instead of responding, he ducked into the hallway. Police sirens could be heard approaching behind them. Erwin walked quicker to the office, and could practically hear his own heart thumping hard in his chest.

Something bad had occurred here. Armin did attack that man. The question on Erwin’s mind was ‘why.’ Erwin pushed open the door to the office, and hurried inside. A elderly lady was sitting behind the desk, and as soon as she saw Erwin, she began squawking at him.

“Your boy is an animal. He stabbed Mr. Clint’s eye out. Out! Gone! I have never in my years of working with troubled youth encountered a more savage boy.” Ms. Hayner squawked, and pointed to Armin, who sat, with his legs curled up against his chest.

A security guard was standing next to Armin, and was effectively blocking any possible thoughts of escape. Armin was startled, and relieved to see Erwin. His face was flushed red from shame, while his eyes were swollen from tears. Armin’s wrists were behind his back, cuffed, as if he really was thought to be a threat. But all Erwin saw was his scared, vulnerable, son being humiliated, and wronged.

Even if Armin had stabbed Mr. Clint’s eye out, the metal cuffs seemed unnecessary. Erwin grit his teeth, and clenched his hands into fists. There was no use in raising hell with the school when he did not know the entire story.

“Your boy is a menace to society. I can’t believe the Principle allowed him entrance, especially even after I informed him that that hostile brat is the same wild child from that village, aired on television some months ago.” Ms. Hayner continued to rant angrily, and then she gestured to Armin with her hand. “He won’t even talk to us. Is this how you’ve been raising him? A uncivilized wretch?” Her words were biting, and sharp.

“Now wait a min—” Levi began to demand, as he stormed towards the front desk, but stopped abruptly the moment Erwin grabbed his arm.

“Let me talk to Armin.” Was all Erwin inclined to say, because he desperately wanted to hear Armin’s side of the story before cops became involved and intimidated the poor boy.

“Fine. Fine. I am reporting all of this to the police, so you can just prepare him for a chat with them.” Ms. Hayner relented in a fluster, as she stepped around the desk to head out into the hallway, to meet up with the cops. The security guard joined her. Erwin turned, and knelt down before Armin, who had not said a word yet. Levi leaned against the wall, and crossed his arms against his chest. He was stewing about how Ms. Hayner questioned Erwin’s parenting capabilities.

They were alone with Armin now, and Armin seemed to notice that too, because fresh tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. Erwin noticed the bruise on Armin’s face, and gently caressed it, figuring Mr. Clint must have hit Armin after he stabbed him. Erwin looked Armin for other injuries. He did not see any, but Armin’s clothes were in a state of disarray, which was odd. He looked back up at Armin with patient, understanding eyes, silently expecting him to say something. Armin grit his teeth and turned away from Erwin.

“I don’t regret it!” Armin blurted remorselessly, and trembled hard under the pressure of Erwin’s understanding way. Levi opened his mouth to talk, but Erwin held a hand up to silence him. Armin was scared, and vulnerable. He would talk as long as no one goaded, or distracted him. “He acted as if he was my friend…but he wasn’t.” Armin murmured, betrayal flickering through his distraught blue eyes. Erwin frowned, concerned as to the confession Armin was leading up to. Armin faltered, not offering more information. Erwin leaned forwards, and placed a tender kiss on Armin’s forehead, to reassure him that he cared.

That reassurance was all that it took to goad Armin to confide in Erwin. Armin flicked his own blue eyes up, to meet Erwin’s. His voice got really quiet. “He told me that if I was quiet, and cooperative, that he would be gentle with me.”

Both Levi and Erwin tensed at the unsaid implications, and possibilities the grim statement suggested.

“Damn it…” Levi muttered under his breath, and knelt down behind Armin to take the hand cuffs off of him. They were tight around Armin’s wrists, but with a press of a button, they opened, revealing a pink ring. _Assholes_.

“Did he…did he touch you?” Erwin asked, horrified that Armin had been assaulted again. Armin rapidly blinked oncoming tears away, and brought his arms around his body, to tentatively touch his sore wrists. “Armin.” Erwin urged with alarm, hearing oncoming footsteps. Armin shifted uncomfortably.

“I didn’t have a choice!” Armin blurted, as he broke down, crying. “He _knew_ what he was _doing_. I had to—I had to prove that he is a bad guy so I—I…” Armin stopped, and inhaled sharply between his panicked sobs. “I let him do it.”

“Fuck!” Levi shouted, as he punched a hole into the wall. This was what he had been concerned about. Armin had ‘prey’ written all over him. Once someone was victimized, they were often targeted again, and again. Armin jumped, startled by the anger in Levi’s voice. Erwin wrapped his arms around Armin, and pulled him against his body. Armin buried his face against Erwin’s chest, and inhaled the familiar cologne. He took comfort in Erwin’s protective presence.

“I panicked at first.” Armin admitted as he shoved his hand into his pants pocket to pull out his cellphone that Erwin had given to him on the first day of school. “Then I realized that if I managed to escape, no one here would have believed me…and he would target someone else…someone meeker then I, maybe. So I…” Armin stopped, and wiped some thick tears, and snot away from his face with the back of his shirt sleeve. He then fiddled with his phone.

A few quick finger taps of the phone spoke volumes as to what happened to Armin. It was an audio recording. “Stop, stop!” Armin’s shrill, panicked voice was heard from the recording. Another voice, Mr. Clint’s was heard amongst the distinct rustling of clothes. “Hold still, and quit being so loud. You’ll ruin your chance of receiving a straight A.” Blackmail.

“I don’t want it!” Armin’s scared voice sounded, loud, and deliberately clear. He had wanted the phone to hear him. “No matter. I’ll lube you up and fuck you real nice. All you have to do is be quiet, otherwise, I’ll fuck your ass so hard that you bleed.” A threat.

That was all Levi needed to hear. He stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him. Erwin was horrified to hear the sexual assault unfolding on the audio recording. He could hear Armin’s agonized screams, and whimpers as the sound of flesh slapping against flesh sounded on the phone. The evidence was damn incriminating, and as horrifying as it was to hear, Erwin was impressed with Armin’s bravery, and selflessness.

“I am so proud of you.” Erwin said, and kissed the top of Armin’s forehead. Armin sucked in a sharp, shaky breath and unabashedly cried against Erwin, relieved to hear his sacrifice was appreciated. “I will make sure that he rots in prison for what he did to you.” Erwin swore, as he took the phone from Armin’s trembling hand. Armin nodded with acknowledgement, and cried quietly against Erwin. “Can you wait here and let me take care of everything for you?” Erwin asked softly, keeping one arm around his precious boy who was sodomized by a bad man.

A part of Erwin did not want to let Armin go. Erwin wanted to comfort Armin, let him cry, and hold him close. Another part of Erwin, hardened by the world, and the war wanted to rain hell fire down on to the entire school for hiring a pedophile in the first place. From what Armin said, and based on the recording, the man did know what he was doing, which implied this was not his first offense.

There had to have been complaints before, about lewd misconduct that went ignored because a educator assaulting a child was a huge scandal. Schools did not like to admit they made a wrong hiring choice. Erwin wanted to make them regret hiring Mr. Clint, and he wanted to make that woman eat her judgmental words. Who the hell was she to imply his parenting skills were lacking, or that Armin was an uncivilized wretch? Now that Erwin knew why Armin attacked Mr. Clint, he was not going to be polite with the staff anymore.

Someone needed to explain why Mr. Clint had had enough power to think he could get away with black mailing, and threatening uneducated kids to be quiet about abuse. Why had the man been enabled, and why had he been hired in the first place? Who had the school turned down? A republican? Erwin did not know, but he was about to find out.

“I don’t want to be alone…but I know you need to get him fired.” Armin relented, in another bout of maturity that Erwin was only recently realizing he possessed. It must have taken a lot of maturity, and courage for Armin to decide to let himself be hurt, to incriminate a rapist. There had to have been a lot of thought, and intelligence that prompted Armin to record the incident, and suffer through it. If he had been caught, Armin could have even have been killed.

“Oh, I am going to do a bit more than get him fired. You just wait here, and if any stranger comes near you, scream for me.” Erwin told Armin, and kissed his forehead again, giving him positive, platonic affection. Armin nodded slowly, and clung to Erwin for a moment longer before he regained enough courage to let Erwin go. Erwin stood up straight and turned towards the door. Armin grabbed his hand.

“He was not gentle with me.” Armin confessed quietly, pained by the assault. Erwin nodded in acknowledgement, and headed to the door without a word because he knew if he commented on that unnerving statement, he’d be unable to hide his anger from Armin.

As soon as Erwin shut the door behind him, his face darkened with the anger he had been withholding. Heads were going to fucking roll for this.

. . .

 

Erwin released a scorching fury unto the faculty of Titan Recovery in that calm, poised, yet deadly way of his that sent chills riveting down Levi’s bones. Levi had not seen this side of Erwin since their days in the war, and took a prominent step back. Erwin was powerful, dominant and eloquent with well timed words that sent everyone scrambling to figure out how they overlooked a predator in their midst.

The faculty members, some of whom had been hostile and defensive with Levi, who admittedly had roared first, backed down the moment Erwin waltzed on to the scene with precise, determined steps. Even the police were unnerved by Erwin, whose child had been assaulted. Erwin was in the right and that was immediately recognized by all parties involved, in the vicinity.

With the phone recording, that was evidence enough of the harrowing crime. The police insisted on receiving official statements from Armin, and then they wanted to check for additional evidence. They wanted to swab for DNA. Armin was adamant that he be allowed to hold Erwin’s hand, and that Erwin not look. His request was granted. Additional evidence was gathered. Mr. Clint had apparently been confident that he would not be caught because he hadn’t bothered to use a condom. Armin had been victimized, and the evidence was smeared on his thighs.

Each faculty member, the principle included, were horrified that a crime of this magnitude had happened under their roof—as if they were all just so unaware of what Mr. Clint had been doing to cute, young, white boys. Armin didn’t really believe that the staff were as unaware as they claimed to be, but they were reacting appropriately now. That nasty, elderly lady even profusely apologized to Armin, and seemed to be sincere about it. She regretted calling Armin an ‘uncivilized wretch.’ Armin responded appropriately, but he knew he wasn’t about to forget everything she said to, and about him.

A number of cops even took a moment to tell Armin they were proud of the bravery, cleverness, and ingenuity he expressed by managing to record the incident without Mr. Clint noticing. One of the cops told Armin in no uncertain terms that he was proud that he fought back. Too many kids kept quiet, when they should have spoken.

“That’s a champ.” The cop praised, ruffling Armin’s soft, messy hair. Armin cowered a bit, and clung to Erwin’s arm. The praise and reassurance he was receiving from the adults was appreciated, but all he wanted to do was to go home, curl up on his bed, and hate himself for awhile, and then maybe eat pizza. He actually really, really wanted pizza and some time alone to think about the horror he endured to make sure others wouldn’t be hurt by that awful man.

“I trust you understand we’ll be tutoring him ourselves from now on.” Erwin said, speaking to the principle, who couldn’t argue with that. Erwin had decided, with the way Titan Recovery had sucked up to him, to his expectations, he wouldn’t sue them. He’d sue Mr. Clint and get him thrown in jail. Nevermind that the fucker would probably be released in a month or two because of ‘good behavior.’ Of course pedophile’s had ‘good behavior’ in jail. There were no kids to touch in jail.

“You wanna learn French, Armin?” Levi suggested, since he was inevitably going to be roped in to homeschooling Armin. Armin was just too vulnerable to be out of his home element. Levi and Erwin knew that now more than ever. Armin needed more time to recover from the past, and to acclimate to society. This entire school adventure had been to encourage Armin to learn, and be a bit independent but it blew up in their faces.

“Uh…no?” Armin responded, disinterested in learning a new language when he did not fully grasp the modern, common German that everyone else spoke. Armin’s dialect was old, to say the least.

“We’ll fire him and fight alongside you in court. What he did to your boy is not something we condone.” The principle assured Erwin, who nodded with acknowledgment. He gently gave Armin a light push on his back, to get him moving.

“Come on, Armin. Let’s go home.” Erwin said, and headed for the doors. Levi followed alongside them, and set a hand on Armin’s shoulder, to reassure him that he would be taken care of. Armin didn’t shy away from the touch. He leaned into it, as they headed for the jeep. Levi helped Armin climb into the jeep. Armin immediately laid down on the back seat, and rested his arm on his side.

“I am hungry. Can we get some pizza?” Armin asked, as he laid, miserable on the seat. He wasn’t going to pretend to be happy. Memories he thought he forgot were resurfacing, triggered by the sexual assault. The only reason he was hungry at all was because his breakfast had been small, and because of the time he spent with Mr. Clint, and then with the cops, it was supper time. Armin had missed lunch, and he didn’t want to miss out on dinner too because Erwin had introduced Armin to the pleasure of ‘flavor.’

“Yes.” Erwin answered without hesitation. Levi turned in his seat to stare at Erwin with an incredulous look.

_We need gas money. We can’t squander it on pizza_.

_I’ll handle it_. Erwin reassured Levi with his eyes, and thought about which pizza place they should visit. Money was tight, and he knew that, but Armin was actually requesting a comfort food. He would damn well get it. Levi scoffed and shook his head. Armin didn’t notice their silent squabble. He was thinking of what he went through. Armin tenderly fingered his stomach, which was bruised from when he was being pressed against the desk. It was a familiar pain, which unnerved him.

“Pizza Hut okay with you? We’ll get a large, and a small box for you.” Erwin suggested to Armin, and flicked his eyes to the mirror to glance at Armin. Armin really did miserable. He was moping. And he had a right to mope, and feel sorry for himself.

“Okay.” Armin responded glumly, not really caring which pizza place they picked pizza up from. He just wanted to shove a slice of pizza into his mouth, and pull a blanket over his head. “I just…I hate how _it_ dribbles out of me.” Armin said then, which made both men exchange a concerned glance.

“That’s…unfortunately normal.” Levi stated uncomfortably, bothered that Armin knew what that felt like. The fourteen year old was just too young to know the sexual shit that he did know. There was no changing that, though. Erwin sighed. He hated the little snippets of sexual information Armin occasionally spoke about, because the only reason Armin knew any of this was because men had forced him to engage in anal-sex.

Uncomfortable as the topic was, Armin didn’t expand on it. Erwin was replaying the audio recording in his head, and couldn’t get Armin’s pained cries out of his head. What it all meant to Erwin was that he had failed to protect Armin again. Erwin wondered if there had been signs that he missed. Did child rapists have a specific look? A specific speech pattern? Erwin stressed over the questions, and guilt that nagged at him.

“Do you want me to drive?” Levi questioned, noticing how distracted Erwin was, with his own thoughts. Erwin shook his head.

“No, I am fine.” Erwin dismissed, as he pulled into the parking lot of Pizza Hut. Levi sighed.

“Move. I am going to drive.” Levi stated, leaving no room for argument. Armin tensed a bit, recognizing Levi’s serious tone as one he shouldn’t argue with. Erwin was about to argue, then shut his mouth and left the jeep, leaving the keys behind. Levi scooted into the drivers seat, taking control of the wheel. Armin fiddled nervously, and kept to himself.

When Erwin returned, he had two pizza’s. Armin sat up, and took the small box from Erwin when it was offered to him. Armin didn’t waste time opening the box, and picked out the one that had the most pepperonis, and bit into it. It was hot, and full of flavors. Erwin shut the jeep door and set the large box between himself, and Levi. There was tension between the adults. Armin sensed that. He tried to ignore it as he scarfed the pizza slice down, and then ate a second slice.

A sputtering noise sounded, and within a few moments, the jeep stopped.

“Fuck!” Levi exclaimed, and slammed his hands on to the steering wheel. “God damn it! I hate this fucking thing!” Levi ranted, as he clambered out of the jeep and kicked at it. Erwin rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. The jeep breaking down was the last thing they needed. He just wanted to get poor Armin home. Armin who was alert, and pale with nervous fear because Levi was cursing at the vehicle. Erwin reached his hand back and clasped it over Armin’s knee.

“Wait here. I’ll get the jeep running again.” Erwin promised, and then exited the car. Armin let out a huff of breath, and let himself plop on to the seat when he realized that the repair session was going to take a minute. He curled up, and let himself cry as the minutes stretched on and turned into an hour. He was stressed, tired, and overwhelmed from everything. Armin just wanted to be home, and he was starting to sympathize with Levi because this wasn’t the first time the jeep had died during a drive session.

As the sun began to fade behind the mountains, Erwin managed to get the jeep to roar with life. Erwin drove them home. The jeep never died out when Erwin drove it.

“I’ll carry the pizza. You carry our kid.” Levi told Erwin, as he grabbed the large pizza box, and then he reached behind him to grab the small box of pizza that Armin abandoned. The kid definitely lilked to eat. He just didn’t eat much. His portions were generally small.

“ _Our_ kid?” Erwin questioned, with a raised eyebrow. He had never heard Levi even remotely suggest that Armin was _their_ kid. Levi had always treated Armin as _Erwin’s_ kid. Erwin smiled lightly at the new development, liking the implications of it, and shifted to pull a exhausted Armin into his arms. Armin wrapped his arms around Erwin, and clung to him in a rare expression of vulnerability. He was stiff, and sore. If he didn’t have to walk, Armin didn’t want to.

“Yeah. Our kid.” Levi affirmed, heading to the house alongside Erwin. He balanced the pizza boxes on one hand, and ruffled Armin’s hair to further express the undeniable affection he had for the needy little brat who took up way too much of Erwin’s time. Armin stared up at Levi, surprised to hear him have a change of heart. Erwin smiled at Levi appreciatively and refrained from kissing him. They still hid their affection from Armin who did act weird and uncomfortable when he did catch them kissing, or touching each other affectionately.

It was odd how tragedies could bring families together.

“Do you want a bath?” Erwin asked Armin as he shut the door behind him. Levi headed into the kitchen to set the pizza down and probably make a salad, while snacking on a few bites of a single slice of pizza. Armin clung tighter to Erwin.

“Yes. But…I don’t want to be alone…” Armin answered, burying his face against Erwin’s warm neck. He had spent enough time alone in the warm jeep that he just wanted to be coddled because whenever Erwin was around, Armin was recognizing he felt safe.

“Alright. I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to.” Erwin responded, and carefully set Armin down on the counter to ready the bath. Armin slouched a bit, and let out a soft, relieved sigh. He felt safe in this house, and Armin felt assured that Erwin cared for his well being.

Once, Armin had been mistrustful, and cautious around Erwin. Now, Armin still had a habit of staying just out of reach, but he didn’t have nightmares about Erwin hurting him unless he was having a really, really bad night. Erwin had given Armin no reason to be concerned, and that was reflected as Erwin helped Armin out of his clothes. Armin could definitely take his own clothes off, but he was feeling lethargic, and a part of him wanted to be taken care of. Erwin was only too happy to comply, as he lifted Armin up, and lowered him into the bath.

“You know…what that man did to you…it’s not your fault.” Erwin spoke up after awhile, and caressed Armin’s knuckles reassuringly. Armin looked up at Erwin, and then he huddled down into the warm water, declining to speak. Erwin got the message that Armin wasn’t feeling talkative, so he didn’t press Armin to talk. Instead, Erwin just spoke to Armin, and that seemed to make Armin relax a bit.

When Armin was ready to dry off, Erwin helped towel him off, and then proceeded to aid him in dressing into warm, light blue pajama’s. Erwin set his hands on Armin’s shoulders and pressed an affectionate kiss to Armin’s forehead.

“If you get scared, I’ll hold you, okay?” Erwin told Armin, who nodded meekly, and then trudged to his bed, where he laid down and pulled the blanket over his head. Erwin waited for a moment, and then left to join Levi in the kitchen. Levi was snacking on a slice of pizza in one hand, and with his other hand, he had a lit cigarette.

“How is our boy?” Levi asked, upon Erwin entering the kitchen. Erwin looked at the cigarette, and then at the pizza box where Levi had devoured three slices of pizza already. Levi was stressed, and concerned for Armin.

“Quiet. Distant.” Erwin answered glumly as he stood next to Levi, and then took a piece of pizza. Levi made a noise of acknowledgement, and then took a long drag off of the cigarette. Erwin distractedly ate the pizza. They took comfort in each other’s presence for awhile.

“There’s nothing you could have done to protect him. We couldn’t have known.” Levi told Erwin, who sighed, with a shake of his head.

“I still feel as if I should have known. That, if I had been more astute, or viligiant, that, I could have protected him.” Erwin  said, and finished the slice of pizza more out of necessity to eat than actual hunger. He was sick over what happened to Armin. “You didn’t hear the way he broke down just listening to the audio recording of himself.” Erwin added then, and thought to the pain, and fear Armin must have felt in that moment. He even wondered if Armin had felt betrayed.

“No. I did not. Still, I think you’re right. We need to homeschool him for awhile, and I am going to teach him how to fight because predators are always going to look at him.” Levi told Erwin, and pressed their shoulders together.

“That sounds good. I’m going to bed.” Erwin muttered and headed into the bedroom. He heard Levi follow behind him. They settled down for bed, but neither of them could sleep much while thoughts of Armin consumed their mind. Would Armin be okay? Could he be okay?

Sometime after eleven, when Erwin began to feel his eyelids growing heavy, he heard the door creak open. Soft footsteps pitter-pattered into the room, and then the bed dipped. Erwin felt Armin tentatively climb over him, and then settle himself between him, and Levi. Armin felt safe in the middle. Levi had even come to grudgingly accept Armin’s presence, and didn’t shift if he was still awake. Erwin felt Armin snuggle against him, and then he felt more movement as he made himself comfortable.

As far as Erwin was concerned, this was right where Armin belonged, and let himself fall asleep with a smile on his face.


	18. Winter Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is winter time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's another bit of a time skip here. 
> 
> Darth, I know you were gonna write Justice for Armin, and I hope what I wrote here won't interfere with that. I initially had wanted to wait to see what you would do, but, at the same time, the laptop was making me nervous about whether or not it's okay, so I decided I needed to hurry up and post this chapter so I didn't lose it. So hopefully it doesn't interfere with what you're doing.

War on Titan

Chapter 18: Winter Potato

 

The slow, quiet days turned into cold months.

Armin was fascinated with the way the snow coated the houses, trees, cars, and roads. He watched the snow fall from the large window in the living room. From his perch on the window seal he could feel the frigid air waft off of the window, and shivered a bit. Armin pulled the sweater’s sleeve down, over his wrist that was littered with old scars. He had not cut himself since the night that Erwin convinced him to talk to him if  and when he was feeling insecure, or overwhelmed.

Which, it was hard for Armin to feel anything else when there was a whole world outside his window that he knew little about. Each day, Erwin and Levi taught Armin about just a little more about the world around him, directly and indirectly. Armin learned more when he was forced to attend doctor appointments, and regular visits with the psychiatrist, Wendy. He learned quickly that he did not care for any of these visits.

Some days, the doctors wanted to poke, and prod at him. Other days, they wanted samples from him. Wendy was no better, in that she wanted to help Armin work through his ‘problems.’ Armin knew he had problems, but he did not want to talk about the horrors of the past that haunted him during the night, and the day. He knew he should be more open with Wendy, but some days he was difficult, in the same way he could behave stubbornly with Erwin.

Those moods bothered Armin when he thought back on them. No amount of therapy seemed to be doing much for him, and the pills only seemed to worsen his mood or make him itchy, or sleepy, or hostile. The only thing that was making Armin feel at ease was the routine of his life, and the security he felt when he was at home. He was complacent most days, and was content to curl up against the window, or the couch and mope with his thoughts or read a book.

Books taught Armin a lot about the world when he sat down to read them. No matter where he was though, Armin kept his legs pressed together, or curled underneath himself. It was an unconscious habit. Armin thought about some of the books he read as he watched a car drive down the street. He was waiting for Erwin to come home, preferably with a surprise kid meal since Levi was chopping lettuce up in the kitchen.

Most of the meals Levi put together involved lettuce, and other light foods that were easy on the stomach, which Armin did not necessarily mind. Some days, like tonight, he wanted a hearty meal, one that would sit in his stomach and that would weigh him down. Armin normally sought after the food Erwin liked because there was often an explosion of flavors that would follow with the consumption of the food. His mouth watered a bit just thinking about the varying foods that Erwin had brought home to him, or that he had made for him.

Headlights illuminated the street. Armin sat up a little straighter, recognizing the jeep. It was about time that Erwin was returning home since as far as Armin had known, Erwin had just been visiting the court, which, albeit could take awhile, he should have been home hours ago. Levi had told Armin not to worry, but he worried regardless, but now his concerns were almost alleviated. Almost, because on top of the jeep was a dark green tree, which was barely visible in the dark of the night. Armin pressed his face to the cold window, to take a better look.

A tree was definitely on top of the approaching jeep.

Alarmed, Armin jumped up. “Levi!” Armin called, as he hurried into the kitchen, where Levi was mixing up a bowl of salad. Levi paused, and looked over his shoulder at Armin, who was panicking. Not that that was unusual, but, Levi, like Erwin, knew to take Armin’s panic moments seriously. “There’s a tree on the jeep!” Armin exclaimed, serious and scared.

“What?” Levi questioned, and heard the jeep pull into the drive way. He turned and swallowed the slight fear that had crept into his heart when Armin alerted him to a seemingly outrageous statement. Levi headed for the front door and opened it.

Cold wind rushed at Levi, as he stepped outside. The porchlight came on, and he could see that there was a tree on top of the jeep. It was tied down. Levi blinked, while Erwin exited the car. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Levi muttered irritably, eyeing the tree. Armin stood nervously in the doorway, and clung to the doorframe, peering out. “What the fuck is this shit!?” Levi shouted to Erwin, and gestured accusingly towards the dark green tree with his hands.

“It’s a Holly Tree.” Erwin answered cheerily, as he began to untie the tree from the roof of the jeep.

“Are you okay?” Armin called from the doorway, scared the tree had fallen on the jeep and damaged it. He could see that Erwin was fine, but he was still concerned that something terrible had happened. Neither adult paid him any mind.

“Holly my ass. I don’t remember converting to Christianity when I agreed to raise Armin alongside you.” Levi snapped as he folded his arms across his chest. Armin tensed, sensing the blossoming hostility.

“Christmas is a Pagan holiday, dear. Pagans sacrificed and ate people.” Erwin chimed, unphased by Levi’s irritation. Levi frowned, and suddenly found himself preferring the idea that Christmas was a Christian holiday. Christians had not sacrificed people, nor had they ate people.

“Still. I don’t think Armin would appreciate a Catholic tradition entering our home.” Levi asserted, as he hurried forwards to help Erwin lower the tree down so no one would get hurt. “Shit, how’d you even get this thing up here?” Levi griped, because the tree was taller than Erwin. Erwin rolled his eyes.

“For the last time. _Catholics_ did not rape their altar boys. Atheists who dawned Catholic garbs, and positions did because their fathers couldn’t afford to send them to college.” Erwin stressed, while he and Levi hauled the tree towards the door. Armin paled, and backed away, partially scared because of the bickering, but also because he didn’t know what the hell was going on.

Why was a tree coming into the house?

“Whatever.” Was all Levi had to say to Erwin’s history lesson, and grudgingly helped him maneuver the tree into the house. “Where the hell are we putting this?” Levi wondered, understanding that he was stuck with what ever tradition Erwin was imposing on him.

“Against the wall for now. I have to get the tree rug, the bowl-thing, and the stand from the jeep.” Erwin answered, and with Levi’s help, they leaned the tree against the wall.  He then turned, and headed for the open front door when he noticed Armin shaking, just a ways away from the door. “What’s wrong, Armin?” Erwin asked, concerned about Armin who Armin swallowed, and took a step back. Erwin couldn’t grab him even if he wanted to. Erwin noticed those unconscious habits Armin had, and they made him sad.

Instead of speaking, Armin pointed at the Holly tree, with a quivering index finger.

“Oh for fucks sake.” Levi groaned, becoming more frustrated that Armin was obviously going to need reassurance over something as simple as a god damned tree in the house. It was not part of their routine, as it was something new, and Armin was scared of new things. “Just talk to the kid. I’ll set the stupid thing up but you fucking owe me for this shit.” Levi commented, and stalked outside.

Erwin focused on Armin, deciding he could calm Levi down later and assure him that a tree in the house was not the end of the world. Erwin then stepped towards the snow covered tree, and then held his hand out towards Armin. “Come here, Armin.” Erwin goaded gently, keeping his voice low, and soft so as not to scare Armin. Armin tensed up and stared at Erwin apprehensively. “I want to introduce you to the Holly tree.” Erwin coaxed, without making any sudden movements. Armin slowly stepped towards Erwin, and took his firm, cold hand.

“A Holly tree?” Armin repeated, looking at the tree warily. He didn’t understand why the tree was in the home, nor why it had been on the jeep. Trees weren’t pets. And why was Levi so angry about it?

“Yes. In Celtic mythology, the Holly tree symbolizes peace and goodwill. I think we could all use some of that, don’t you?” Erwin said, while Armin plucked a beautiful, red berry off of the tree. Armin popped it into his mouth.

“Damn it, Erwin! The tree hasn’t been in the house for three minutes, and already Armin is eating the poisonous berries.” Levi griped, as he entered the home with his arms full of the tree stand and bowl, and kicked the door shut with his foot. Erwin didn’t hesitate to smack Armin’s back. Armin coughed, and spit the berry out.

“Don’t eat them.” Erwin reiterated firmly, now that he knew the berries posed a risk to Armin. Armin gasped, realizing he had been struck. He looked up at Erwin, astonished. Erwin knelt down and picked the berry up, then he shoved the berry into his pocket so it wouldn’t threaten Armin again. “Berries are usually poisonous.” Erwin added, informing Armin about the general rule of berries.

“And you were going to let him eat it.” Levi muttered with disbelief, setting the green bowl and stand up.

“No. He grabbed it and popped it into his mouth before I realized what he was doing, but he’s okay now.” Erwin said as he swiftly stepped towards Armin and leaned down, then placed a caring kiss to his forehead, while his hand caressed his cheek reassuringly. The gentle affection eased Armin’s mind. “Let’s get this tree set up.” Erwin suggested then, and went to help Levi set the tree up.

Both adults were calm. Erwin was even cheery in spite of Levi’s griping which hadn’t dampened his mood at all, which Armin noticed, and appreciated. The two adults were working together despite their differences. Armin smiled, stepped towards Erwin, wrapped both of his arms around Erwin and then pressed his forehead against his back, feeling safe and secure. Erwin tensed at the unexpected hug and looked over his shoulder to view Armin.

“I am glad Boris did not kill me like he wanted to.” Armin mumbled, humbled that he was able to be here in this comfortable moment. Erwin and Levi exchanged a concerned look, then refocused their attention on to Armin, who was expressing his vulnerable side they rarely saw. Neither one of them were sure what brought this behavior about. Erwin clasped his hand over one of Armin’s hands.

“I shot him before he could.” Erwin responded, as he caressed his thumb against Armin’s knuckles. Levi took a moment to right the tree, and scanned the berries with the thought to just remove them, but then decided Erwin would be pissed about that so he left the berries alone.

“Did you?” Armin asked, craning his head up to look at Erwin, with surprise.

“He did.” Levi answered for Erwin, and stepped back to look the tree over again. The stark contrast of the white snow against the red berries were charming. “I am still impressed with how quick you moved.” Levi mentioned to Erwin.

“I had my suspicion about you being my child, and until I could confirm, or deny who you were, I was not going to lose you.” Erwin stated, and reached his other arm back, twisting it a bit to rest it on Armin in the only way that he could. It was awkward, and uncomfortable, but he wanted to touch Armin, since Armin was in a touchy mood.

_My child_. Armin repeated in his head, and thought, not for the first time, about how Erwin was his father. It was still a strange, and surprisingly wonderous concept to him. _I’m his. He saved my life_. Armin thought, and affectionately nuzzled his face against Erwin’s back. He could smell the fresh scent of the laundry detergent on the jacket. “You’d have saved me anyways?” Armin wondered, though he was confident that Erwin was a good enough man that he’d have saved him anyways because he had been a child in need.

“Of course. I was not going to let a child be executed in front of his village. That’s barbaric.” Erwin asserted, and thought about how he just wanted to hug Armin close to him, and reassure him that he was loved, and appreciated. He made no sudden movements despite his wishes, because he was fully aware that if he made an unexpected movement, Armin might flee. He had in the past, many times.

Since Armin was in a touchy-mood, and it was beneficial for everyone involved, Erwin did not risk ruining the mood.

“What was done to you was fucking barbaric. I’d have crushed his—” Levi began angrily, but shut up when Erwin lifted a hand up to silence him. Armin did not need to hear anger, even if it was not directed at him. Any time Armin sensed hostility, he was gone, and hiding. Levi cleared his throat. “You’re alive because Erwin’s a bleeding heart with a good aim.” Levi settled to say, figuring that would help encourage the light-hearted mood.

“I don’t even remember how I got to the hospital. I know you said you guys took me there, but how did I survive that? I’ve thought about it a lot, and I remember feeling awful. The hunger plagued me in my nightmares and the doctors kept commenting on how thin I was.” Armin commented, thinking back on those days. There were a few, blurry memories of being held, whispered to, and fed by hand, but Armin wasn’t sure if they were real.

“Well, we rode on horses and I kept you close. You were suffering from a fever, so I don’t expect you to remember much. There’s not much else to say except I hand fed you during the trip.” Erwin informed Armin, who furrowed his eyebrows with thought. Armin stepped back, contemplating Erwin’s words, and corroborating them with the memories in his head.

The more Armin thought about it, the more he was sure Erwin had helped him through the fever. It was Erwin’s comforting voice in those vague memories. Erwin was the one who fed him, too. What Armin found impressive, and admirable was that Erwin had done all of that out of the goodness of his heart. It wasn’t like they had known each other. Armin didn’t know many people who would have gone out of their way like that without expecting something in return. Mrs. Schmidt always had an ulterior motive to her ‘kindness’. All of those days seemed hazy.

_Maybe I should call him father_. Armin figured, thinking about the comfortable, secure home he had to live in, and all of the food he had been _offered_. The bed was decent, the fire place was hot, and Erwin gave him educational, and fictional books. Hell, Erwin taught him a lot about the world and hadn’t judged him for cutting himself. Armin flushed pink as he remembered when Erwin even kissed the cut.

And then Armin recalled the time he was in one of those uncontrollable, hot moods that seemed to surge through him at random, when he had yelled at Erwin to leave him alone because he wasn’t his father. Armin felt hot shame spread across his face at the memory—he had felt awful about it when he cooled off, but he had never broached the topic since, and Erwin hadn’t pressed him about the blow up either. Erwin had been good, and patient to him. Armin hadn’t always reciprocated the generosity.

“Uh…” Armin began as he shifted nervously from foot to foot. “Thank you…Dad…” Armin humbly thanked the man who saved his life, and who had given him everything he needed, and had wanted; A family, and a stable home.

It was the first time that Armin had consciously called Erwin ‘Dad,’ and the recognition left Erwin floored. Speechless. A smile spread across Erwin’s face and he knelt down on one knee, and rested an arm over it. “You know…you don’t have to call me Dad if you’re uncomfortable with it.” Erwin gently reminded Armin, understanding that he had had a Dad, and lost him.

“Well I’ll be damned. It’s about time you recognize him as your Dad.” Levi commented, as a smug smile spread across his face. This was another important turning point, and both adults recognized that.

“I want to call you dad. You take care of me, in ways no one else ever has.” Armin assured Erwin, and leaned forwards to curl his arms around him. Erwin smiled lightly, and wrapped his own arms around Armin, his precious boy.

“What’re you going to call Levi?” Erwin asked, holding Armin close to him. Armin blinked, and looked towards Levi, contemplatively.  

_Hm. He cooks, cleans, and gardens_. “Mum.” Armin answered, and had an epiphany. Levi really was like a mom, and Erwin was definitely a dad to him. Maybe the relationship the two had wasn’t so weird after all. They were both men, but one of them behaved more like a woman. And then Armin thought back to how he cleaned the house, and wondered if he needed to then find an Erwin.

“No. No, no, hell no. I am not a woman. I am not your mom. I am your father’s boyfriend. Just continue to call me Levi.” Levi told Armin, expressing disinterest at being feminized. Armin tensed a little, but relaxed upon hearing Erwin laugh.

“In his defense, Levi is a man. Though, I suppose I see why you said that.” Erwin mused, as he ruffled Armin’s hair. Armin smiled a little, and thought of Eren. His smile faltered. “What’s wrong?” Erwin asked, sensing the shift in Armin’s demeaner.

“I miss Eren.” Armin said, thinking about the only friend he ever had. Mikasa was always around with Eren, but she only cared about Armin because Eren did. He actually hadn’t thought about Eren in awhile, but now that he was, he felt forlorn about it. Erwin paused, and looked to Levi with concern. It was natural for Armin to miss his old life, and to want his old friends, but it was still sad to hear about.

“Well, you may see him again someday. For now, Levi, why don’t you put that salad away and we’ll go out to eat?” Erwin suggested, setting a comforting hand on Armin’s shoulder. Armin brightened at the thought of food. “There’s a little old inn I’d like to eat at. They’re serving badger.” Erwin added, with an intrigued glint shining in his eyes.

“ _Badger_?!” Levi balked, astonished, and horrified at the thought of eating a badger. Armin just blinked, lacking an opinion because he wasn’t too familiar with badgers. “Wait, wait.” Levi halted and lifted his hands up. “Back up. How did you even afford that damn tree, and how do you think we’re going to pay for a damn restaurant meal on Christmas fucking Eve?” Levi asked, demanding to know how and why Erwin thought they could afford any of these luxury items.

Between Armin’s different hospital, therapist bills, past and present, and the court fees, they didn’t have money to frivolously spend. Armin had been picking up on that as well, and now his suspicions had been confirmed. He frowned, and set a hand over his stomach. Armin knew what it was like to go to bed hungry, and to have food haunt his dreams. Now, he was concerned that those dark days were going to return.  

“Armin, go put a warm outfit on.” Erwin gently told Armin, and gave him a comforting nudge to his room. Armin uncomfortably trudged to his room obediently, recognizing the subtle firmness of Erwin’s tone that left him with the impression that the request was actually a command. Erwin then refocused on Levi. “Levi, you can’t question me like that in front of Armin. It stresses him out.” Erwin stated, in an attempt to remind Levi that this was not how he wanted Armin to grow up, with two parents bickering at each other in front of him.

Disagreements between couples happened. Erwin just didn’t want the disagreements to be paraded around in front of Armin, who already had a lot of stress, and anxiety. Levi tended to be emotional, and hot-headed, which caused Armin to see some of the dysfunction that Erwin would rather be hidden from him.

“We don’t have money for any of this shit. At the rate you’re spending, we’re going to have to file for bankruptcy or some shit.” Levi nagged with concerned frustration. He often felt that he was more money conscious than Erwin was, and felt that he was a bit too intent on spoiling Armin. Not that Armin really responded much to items other than books.

“Listen. Everything is going to be fine. I came into a little bit of money. I’ll tell you all about later tonight.” Erwin assured Levi, who huffed stubbornly and crossed his arms over his chest. “Just let me worry about finances and go get a jacket on while I put a pickle in the tree.”

“A pickle?” Levi repeated, bumblefucked as to why a pickle would be placed in the tree.

“It is a German tradition, don’t you know?” Erwin said as he headed into the kitchen, to open the fridge. Levi was at a loss, and instead of pursuing the topic, he went to put a warm jacket on because apparently, they were going out to eat. Erwin grabbed the pickle jar out of the fridge, shut the fridge, twisted the jar open, pulled one out, and then returned the jar to the fridge. He grabbed the pickle, and strategically placed it in the tree.

If there was symbolism or mythology behind why pickles were hidden in trees, Erwin didn’t know them. What he did know was that it was a fun min-game that some German families participated in. So when Armin came out of the bedroom, dressed in white jeans, and a long-sleeved, light blue sweater, Erwin gestured for him to come to him. Armin tentatively approached.

“There’s a quick game for you to play before we head out.” Erwin told Armin, and gestured to the tree with his hand. Armin looked to the tree with a withering stare.

“Is it called, ‘eat the poisonous berries’ because I’d rather die then go to bed hungry again?” Armin asked sarcastically, disgruntled that the secure home he had seemed to be falling apart around him. It was thanks to Erwin that Armin knew what it felt like to go to bed with a placated stomach. He couldn’t imagine lying awake with pain-wracking hunger again now that he was sure it wasn’t normal. Erwin’s easy-going smile crumbled into a horrified frown.

_Damn it, Levi. This is why I don’t want our arguments to be conducted in front of Armin. Right here. This is why. He’s scared, now_. Erwin cursed in his head, and knew he needed to reassure Armin that those dark days really were over. “No, Armin. You are never going to have to go to bed hungry again. When I told you that I would take care of you, I meant it.” Erwin reassured Armin, and pulled him into a hug. Armin pressed his face against Erwin’s jacket as he had done before and clung on to Erwin tightly.

“I don’t want to live like that again.” Armin whimpered, distraught over the dire financial situation they seemed to be in. Erwin gently ran his hand through Armin’s hair, to comfort him. Armin had grown accustomed to the different ways Erwin expressed affection, and sought it out.

“You won’t. And testimony to that, I want you to play the game. It’s simple. Find the pickle.” Erwin encouraged gently, to help get Armin’s mind off of the past, and to get him to focus on the future. Armin pulled away from Erwin and looked at the Holly tree. He didn’t quite understand why Erwin wanted him to play a game.

“Okay.” Armin relented, and began to look between the branches. He searched high, and low, and began to wonder if the pickle existed or not. Then Armin spotted the pickle, and his face lit up. “I found it!” Armin exclaimed, and stretched his hand into the tree and pulled the cold pickle out. A positive sense of victory shined through Armin’s eyes. He was victorious, and it felt good.

The bedroom door opened, to reveal Levi. He joined them in the living room. “If we’re going to do this, let’s do this.” Levi said, and plucked the pickle out of Armin’s hands before he could bite into it. “You’re not eating that and you’re not eating badger.” Levi stated, and went to throw the pickle away into the garbage and put the taco salad away for later. When Levi joined them again, Erwin escorted them out of the house and into the jeep.

It was a cold night. Armin wrapped his arms around himself, and shivered as they made their way to the inn that Erwin wanted them to eat at. There was no heat in the jeep, which was why Armin had been permitted to sit between Erwin and Levi, since German winter’s were rather legendary. If the adults were cold, they didn’t exhibit obvious signs of it.

When they arrived at the old in,  Armin was cautious as he lowered himself from the jeep, because the threat of ice was real. He kept close to Erwin who led them to the office of the inn, which was packed with people. They were welcomed, wished a Merry Christmas—a concept Armin did not know much of. He just smiled politely, and nodded when he was approached by friendly faces.

People were gathered to celebrate Christmas Eve, and badger was the main course. Why, no one was quite sure other than that it was an old tradition, probably from the days where badgers were plentiful.

“Take a bite.” Erwin encouraged Armin, offering him a bite of the cooked badger. Armin quickly looked at Levi, who wasn’t paying attention. He looked back to Erwin, and accepted the bite. Erwin then, while not letting Armin out of his site, made a few acquaintances—networking was important to rising through the class systems.

That was one thing Erwin had learned from a young age. Levi and Armin were a bit uncomfortable here, but they both tried to relax a little because the atmosphere was merry and free. It was about an hour later that Erwin suggested they could go home. Armin definitely wanted to return home, where he knew it was warm. Levi just wanted to be away from people who wore brightly colored Christmas sweaters and happy smiles.

Some part of Armin wanted to inquire more about Christmas, but he was worn out, and ended up falling asleep against Levi. Once they were home, Erwin carried Armin into the house and put him to bed. Erwin then sought Levi out, who was in the midst of pulling his warm clothes on. Levi looked up.

“So are you going to tell me how we could afford the tree?” Levi wondered, since the badger had been a public meal. Erwin shut the door to their bedroom and began to pull his own winter clothes off.

“Well, I was sort of thinking we could, you know, have sex.” Erwin suggested with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. Levi paused. Erwin hadn’t initiated sex in what felt like months, and maybe it had been months. All Levi knew was that he had to demand sex, and even then, his needs largely went ignored. Erwin was normally concerned about what if Armin walked in on them, or what if he heard them again.

“You’re fucking joking.” Levi scoffed, not believing that Erwin was serious—not for a minute, nope. He kicked his shoes off and went to fetch a shirt from the dresser. Erwin approached him and wrapped his arms around Levi’s lithe waist, from behind, and then kissed at his ear.

“Mmm. I am not.” Erwin murmured, and kissed at Levi’s neck. Levi tried shrugging him off.

“You can’t tell me that ‘The Christmas Season’ makes you horny.” Levi huffed, and ignored Erwin’s advances.

“No, but money does.” Erwin responded, sliding his hand across Levi’s stomach.

“Fuck off.” Levi griped, becoming irritated that Erwin would joke about something like that.

“You remember the television show that revealed Armin’s image, and name to the public illegally?” Erwin started, and felt Levi tense against him. “They sought me out today, and gave me an offer I was not inclined to refuse.” Erwin informed Levi, and slid his hand under the waistband of his pants. “Does a new car sound appealing to you?” Erwin wondered, and for a moment, Levi swore he felt lightheaded.

“Oh fuck yes.” Levi exclaimed and shifted around to face Erwin. “I choose the car. I’ll let you feed Armin what ever junk you want to for a week.” Levi affirmed, placing his hands on Erwin’s broad shoulders. Erwin smiled, and ducked down to kiss Levi. Levi pressed up and eagerly returned the kiss.

“The car can not be white nor red. Other then that, choose what ever you want to.” Erwin said and plucked Levi up and off of the ground. Levi made a small noise of approval, and let himself be laid down on the bed.

“Fine. I’ll relent to that. But fuck, you should have said something sooner.” Levi muttered, and helped Erwin tug each other’s clothes off. “Instead of being so stupidly cheery and secretive.” Levi added, and then leaned up to kiss Erwin’s neck.

A bit of money meant a new car, and assured that food would be kept on the table. It put Levi in a good enough mood that he did not mind letting Erwin have at him in a traditional missionary style. Their kisses were hot, and heavy as they touched each other’s warm bodies. Erwin only stopped to apply lubricant to his fingers, and pushed them into Levi’s body. Levi didn’t need much preparation. Anal sex was something he was accustomed to, and just a bit of prodding opened him up, enough for a fully lubricated Erwin to push inside of him.

Neither of them felt the need to switch positions. Levi liked getting fucked, and Erwin liked fucking. It was one of the things that made them work together as a couple. They had their roles, and were happy with it. Erwin and Levi kissed as they fucked, and sucked on each other’s neck. Both men were thrilled at the prospect of having a bit of money to play with, and made love long into the night with no concern that Armin might wake up.  


	19. Potatoes End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin has a nightmare about his past, but his future will be bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially I wanted to write this fanfic to its end. I did not want to give up on it. Since there's still ten chapters that would have to be wrote out, at least, I figured I'd better wrap it up now. Sorry. Not Sorry.

**War on Titan**

**Chapter 19: Potatoes End**

Boris was yelling again. Screaming in his face. Armin didn’t remember why. All he could do was stammer fearfully. “I—I—”

Smack!

“You fucking stole that bread like a thief in the night. Ate the whole loaf.” Boris ranted angrily, as he glared at Armin, who trembled before him.

“I w-was hu-hungry…” Armin stammered softly, as he placed a pale hand over his stinging cheek. He cowered before Boris, effectively intimidated. His parents had never yelled at him the way Boris shouted at him, and they had never hit him with the same alarming force that Boris did.

A irritated grunt left Boris’s mouth. “So you admit to it.” Armin’s blue eyes widened with terror as Boris began to undo his belt. Dread nestled itself into Armin’s stomach. “Stealing is a crime. You must be punished for it.” Boris said, and grabbed a fistful of Armin’s hair. Armin yelped as his head was smashed against the wall.

“Ow!” Armin cried out, and scrabbled at Boris’s hand that was firmly tugging on his hair. “Please…please…leave me alone…I’m sorry…” Armin pleaded, terrified of Boris’s wrath.

“Shut up and get on your knees!” Boris yelled, and shoved Armin to the ground.  Armin yelped with surprise, and landed on his hands and knees. “Don’t move.” It was a command, and Armin was too scared to disobey it. Boris yanked Armin’s pants down.

“No.” Armin whimpered, while tears streamed down his cheeks. _He’s going to hurt me_. Armin knew, and apprehensively waited to feel those large hands on his thighs.

“You’ve been a naughty boy. Now, scream for me.” Boris purred, and slammed the belt down on to Armin’s ass. Armin jolted, and screamed as he was spanked with the belt. “Good. Now, keep screaming.” Boris said, and continued to whack Armin’s pale skin with the belt. Armin screamed, jerked, and sobbed unabashed, but he did not try to run away from the abuse.

That was the power of fear.

“This is what you get—this is what you deserve.” Boris stated cruelly, and tossed the bloody belt aside. He pulled his own pants down, and grabbed both of Armin’s wrists to pull his arms back, which left him defenseless. This was how Boris liked Armin—a screaming, sobbing, bloody, defenseless mess. Boris was empowered, and he entered Armin. Armin’s screams of agony increased in pitch, and volume as his poor, sore hole was pummeled by Boris’s hard cock.

“Stop, stop! It hurts!” Armin begged hysterically, while Boris repeatedly smashed their hips together. It was just like the first time, in that, Boris shoved himself into Armin without lubricant, and no preparation. Just like then, Armin felt himself split open—a raw wound that reopened every time he was raped, which was too often. His body couldn’t heal.

“This is what a thief gets.” Boris responded, and fucked Armin harder when he felt Armin begin to bleed. Armin paled from the pain, and shock of the brutal rape. He felt sick, and lightheaded as Boris pounded his cock into his aching hole.

It hurt so much. Armin clawed at the wood of the floor, but only managed to make his fingers bleed as those wounds were reopened. Boris’s hot breath was against the back of his flushed neck, and he thrust his penis into Armin’s tunnel. Loud, agonized pained noises left Armin’s open mouth as he was anally raped. His face was wet with tears, snot, and droll. Nothing about it was pretty. He was hurting.

Boris buried his cock deep into Armin’s hole, and ejaculated into him. Semen trickled out of Armin’s swollen hole, and mingled  with the blood. The noise of a door opening sounded. “Good…Igor’s home. He’ll fuck…you up your ass…and you’ll like it.” Boris said between pants, while he stood up and fixed his pants. Armin collapsed on to the ground, sweating, and groaning in pain. “I heard he even picked some carrots up.”

Armin’s blue eyes popped open as he screamed. He screamed his heart out, and he kept shouting, with each scream, and sob becoming more hysterical as the seconds passed by. Was the rape a memory, or a nightmare? Armin had blocked out a lot of the horror he endured during his time in the village as a prisoner, which lent credibility to the fact that Boris could have spanked him with a belt, and then could have raped him. Anything was possible, since there were dark areas of Armin’s memory—a testament to Boris slamming his head against hard surfaces.

All he knew was that the nightmare had been too real, and he was shaking horribly, while he clutched his head and cried louder. Some part of him vaguely realized he was safe, in his bedroom, but that knowledge did nothing to quell the icy fear blanketing his bones. He was fucking scared.

The last time he was inconsolable was the night he returned home from the school, after that teacher had raped him. Armin was just as upset now as he had been then, and his terrorized screams stretched throughout the house.

The door banged open, which only made Armin wail, and curl up tighter, letting his knees knock together. “Oh god! Not…not again…!” Armin shrieked fearfully, as he heard heavy, quick footsteps. The lines between reality and dream were blurring. A tall man was in front of him then—Armin couldn’t make much of his features out through the thick tears in his scared, blue eyes. “Wuuaaaagh!” Armin screamed with pure horror as he was scooped up, and out of the bed. He began flailing, kicking, and twisting.

“Shh! You’re okay, Armin. You’re okay, you’re okay…just listen, no one is going to hurt you.” Erwin assured Armin gently, and held him close against him. Armin barely heard him over his own screams, and kept trashing wildly. He managed to claw at Erwin's face. Erwin recoiled, but he didn't restrain the terrified child. Levi, who stood in the doorway, tensed, and clenched his hands into fists. He wanted to restrain Armin. Erwin sent him a warning look, and then refocused on Armin. "You're okay." 

Armin stopped struggling.

“D-dad…?” Armin murmured tentatively, slowly coming back to reality and snapping out of his nightmare. He blinked rapidly to clear the tears enough that he could make out Erwin, and then he felt relief combat the fear. _I am safe…it…it was just…a dream_. Armin told himself, and pressed his face against Erwin’s neck, while he wrapped his trembling arms around it. He was shaken up, and breathed in his fathers cologne that had become a source of comfort for him.

“I am here.” Erwin assured Armin, and coddled him. Those reassuring words allowed Armin the comfort to not be okay. He wasn’t okay, not after that nightmare, but he felt comfortable enough with Erwin to cry on him. The dream had felt too real, and Armin had been sure that he was actually been being hurt. Haunted by the dream, and the memories, Armin began to bawl, unabashed. 

"Shit." Levi muttered, approaching the duo. _And here I thought the kid was being murdered_. “This is bad.” Levi muttered with concern, and reached out to stroke Armin’s hair, that was damp with sweat. “Do you think he heard us?” Levi guessed, figuring that was a likely scenario as to why Armin regressed enough to experience a harsh nightmare.

“I don’t think so. He just had a nightmare.” Erwin dismissed, keeping his warm arms around Armin, who shook hard against him. He was rocking back and forth with Armin. It was a method of comforting that Erwin had learned soothed Armin during these moments that reality became real again.

“Well, I guess I can see why you wanted to do all of this holiday bullshit, when I see him like this.” Levi decided, and stroked Armin’s hair reassuringly. They were both comforting their child in his time of need. Armin heard their voices, and focused on them for comfort. He wanted to engage with them, but he couldn’t calm his panicked sobs.

Erwin nodded towards Levi, acknowledging him. “We’re here for you, Armin. You don’t have to be scared anymore.” Erwin told Armin warmly, speaking softly against his ear. Armin knew Erwin was right, but the nightmare had shook him to his core. The spanking. The rape. He did not have the capacity to be okay, when he felt raw, and vulnerable. Boris had hurt him a lot, and the pain of those days haunted him.

Some days, Armin felt as if he was okay, and then the long nights would remind him that the side effects of abuse were insidious and lasting. And through all of it, Erwin was patient with Armin, and was respectful of how sometimes Armin just needed to cry and that all he needed to do was hold him, and talk to him softly, and calmly. Levi hadn’t been patient in the beginning, but especially after he and Erwin had been called down to the school, he had had a change of heart.

Hearing Armin’s scared, agonized voice on that recording had been horrific. It was still on the back of Erwin, and Levi’s mind that Armin endured the rape to incriminate the vile man. That had to have taken a lot of courage, and willpower. Armin was strong, but it was times like these that the adults were reminded that he was just a child, and sometimes, nightmares were just too much for him.

“If…if I was hurting and sc-scared…would y-you hit me harder?” Armin asked through his sniffles, and cries. In his heart, he knew Erwin would never hurt him, but fear made him doubt, and question because each time Boris had hurt him and he cried, he was hurt even more, as if ‘stop’ didn’t mean ‘stop.’

“Never.” Erwin swore, and set his warm hand on Armin’s wet cheek, to tilt his head up to face him. “I’ll never hurt you.” Erwin promised, and gently kissed Armin’s forehead. Armin sniffled, and shut his eyes with shame. He knew he shouldn’t have asked that, but his anxiety was flaring up inside of him, making him need emotional reassurance. “And I am so sorry that you ever were hurt like that. You didn’t deserve it.” Erwin reminded Armin, who teared up at the kind words. He rubbed at his eyes again.

No one could tell him that enough.

“I want to believe that. I really do, but I'm scared that one day, I'll do something to make you hit me." Armin murmured, distraught over the irrational fears embedded into his heart.

“We don’t hit kids.” Levi assured, and continued to stroke Armin’s messy hair. He was careful not to pull on a tangle when he found one, because Armin really tended to flip out if his hair was pulled at all, even by accident. He didn’t like it and Levi couldn’t blame him. Erwin nodded in agreement with Levi. He would never hit Armin, that, he was sure of.

“I didn’t…I didn’t do anything wrong…it was my bread…and…and I was so hungry…but…he got so mad at me…I think…he whipped me with a belt…?” Armin said as he rubbed his knuckles against his wet, swollen eyes. Erwin and Levi shared a concerned glance, then they looked back at Armin. "I never want to be hit again..."

“So that’s what happened.” Erwin commented, remembering the brutal belt marks that had been on Armin’s bottom when he rescued him. He hadn’t questioned Armin about them, nor a lot of other wounds he had had because he was comfortable that Armin would tell him about them one day and here he was, confiding in them. It wasn’t the first time and Erwin hoped it wouldn’t be the last, if there was more to tell.

“I remember you never wanted to sit, nor lay on your back because you hurt a lot. You didn’t want to walk either, and we both carried you a lot.” Levi reminisced on their dark beginning, on how fragile Armin had been. Erwin and Levi were aware of Armin’s fears, and had observed those that Armin didn’t even seem to be conscious of himself. Armin’s habit of staying just out of reach, and curling his legs underneath himself were iconic, anxious habits he had that were left over from the days of abuse. Even now his legs were firmly pressed together. _Hell, Armin's still delicate_.

“That’s because…he took me dry almost every time. He wanted me to hurt. They were both…cruel to me, and I…I’m still scared to take food from the kitchen because of it.” Armin confessed, while he pulled his arms against his body and rested tiredly against Erwin. He reveled in the man’s warmth, and sturdy body that protected and comforted him more then once.

Both Erwin and Levi both grimaced. They knew that rough sex could hurt—neither of them could imagine having dry sex. The fact Armin had to go through it was horrifying to them, and both of them felt guilty about what they did in their bedroom. There was another concern that both parents had about Armin, but neither of them were willing to mention it yet because they hoped their concern would be alleviated with time. 

“You never have to ask for our permission to grab a snack from the kitchen. The pantry is yours, just as much as it is ours because you’re our son. I buy a lot of that food specifically for you so you never have to worry about that.” Erwin reminded Armin, not for the first time, that he was definitely allowed to grab food from the kitchen to eat when he was hungry.

“Just don’t touch my ice cream.” Levi put in, though he was only half-joking. Erwin sent him an angry stare, because Armin tensed up in his arms. “I’ll put my name on it. You’ll be okay then. Everything else is free dibs.” Levi added, to lesson the impact of how his initial statement sounded. Armin relaxed a little and rested against Erwin, nestled against him.

“What about water? My throat is sore…” Armin wondered, wrapping his arms around himself. He was cold, and shifted against Erwin, getting comfortable against him. Erwin kept one arm around him, and carefully stroked his hair. He too knew Armin flipped out if his hair was tugged on.

“Fine. I’ll be back.” Levi said, and left to fetch water for Armin since Erwin was busy coddling him. Armin wasn't talking now, and Erwin briefly wondered if he would fall asleep before Levi returned with the water. He thought about how Armin had a nightmare, and recalled that the psychiatrist had warned that sudden changes in life, or the home could bring about regressive behaviors in children who were abused. Armin seemed to be okay when their daily life played out normally, and when their day was predictable. But every time there was a change in their life, Armin responded negatively to it. 

Sometimes, Armin was moody or mouthy. Other times, Armin would have nightmares. Armin had been fine for awhile, so Erwin found himself wondering what he did that might have been different enough for Armin to have a reaction?

 _The tree_. Erwin remembered, recalling how scared Armin had been of it. Well, thinking back on it, he had probably not been scared of the tree itself, but of what changes it might mean for him and their family. Erwin chided himself then, figuring that instead of surprising them with the tree, he could have called to let them know that the tree would be brought home. It could have spared Armin that crippling nightmare.

"Armin...tomorrow is going to be different." Erwin mentioned, alerting Armin that tomorrow would not be a normal day. Armin lifted his head up so he could look at Erwin, his eyebrows were furrowed. "I have not thought the entire day out, but I know I want to take you shopping-" Armin grimaced at the thought of returning to a crowded store full of people he had never seen before. "-Maybe we'll even eat at a restaurant...or I'll have Levi cook us a feast for dinner. Either way, I want you to be prepared to experience something new." Erwin suggested, but began to regret it because he could already see the anxiety forming on Armin's face. He didn't like changes.

“Here.” Levi spoke up as he entered the bedroom, carrying a glass of water. He offered the cup to Armin, who took it and sipped from it as if he was trying to quell his own anxiety's that were welling up inside of him. Erwin continued to smooth Armin’s hair out as the boy drank from the water.

"I was just informing Armin that tomorrow, I want to in some way, celebrate Christmas." Erwin informed Levi, who groaned and set a hand on his head. 

"Damn it. Isn't the tree enough for you?" Levi complained, as he plopped down next to his lover, and Armin. He had never celebrated holidays before. Armin fidgeted anxiously. He knew Levi's irritation could snap into anger, and if it did, he wanted to bolt. 

"No. I want Armin to have a normal childhood." Erwin answered, and shifted against Levi, to be closer to him. Levi set his hands in his lap, and shook his head, grim.

"His chance at normalcy was thrown out the window when his town prayed to potatoes." Levi muttered, without thinking about how Armin might be listening to him. Erwin opened his mouth to scold Levi. Armin straightened up a little and looked up at Levi.

"That was wrong of me...wasn't it? To think a potato was a god...?" Armin wondered, voicing the suspicion he had had for a long time. He had had doubts throughout his life, but he had dutifully sacrificed potatoes regardless of those doubts, and yet, he had been brutalized regardless. During his time of captivity, Armin had prayed harder than he ever had before, but he had still been the one to rescue himself.

"No." Erwin was quick to say, to be sensitive towards how Armin might feel. "You had the courage to believe in something, and that makes you strong, as there are those who believe in nothing...as if nothing created the universe...but nothing is nothing and nothing can not create _something_." Erwin stated and gave a pointed look to Levi who shrugged. 

"Hey, I am not a heathen. I just...don't know much about any of that shit, nor do I think it's important for me to know when it does not concern me at the moment." Levi defended, a bit irked that he had to in the first place. Erwin had once been of a similar opinion to him, but ever since he stumbled across Armin, his personal beliefs had began to change and evolve in ways Levi couldn't keep up with.

"I don't know what to believe either...but I know the potato gods are not real. Eren was right about that." Armin mentioned, having lost the belief in the potato gods months ago. Erwin and Levi were relieved to hear that, because it meant Armin was growing.There were many world religions, but the belief in a potato god? That had always bothered both adults, who had hoped to show Armin a normal way of religion. 

"He may have been." Erwin said, as he cuddled both of the males in his life. “You think you’ll be okay to go back to sleep?” Erwin asked, wanting to return to bed if Armin thought that he was going to be okay. Tomorrow would be exciting, since Erwin had a lot of plans for the Christmas holiday and now that he had money, he wanted to make Armin smile. Christmas would be a good distraction for Armin.

“Yeah.” Armin confirmed as he set the cup on the nightstand. “But…can I fall asleep on you before you go…?” Armin requested, feeling the lingering fear residing in his heart. That wasn’t quite what Erwin wanted to do, but as a parent, he smiled reassuringly and parted his lips with the intent to tell Armin that he would stay with him until he fell asleep.

“Just come to bed with us.” Levi offered, before Erwin could say something. Armin and Erwin both looked at Levi with surprise. “What?”

“I’d like that.” Armin agreed, and sidled off of the bed eagerly. 

“It’s settled then.” Erwin stated as he stood up and kissed Levi quickly.

Then, as a family, they headed into the bedroom and settled down on the big bed. Armin nestled between them comfortably, and buried his face against Erwin’s chest. They were comfortable with each other. The months of hardship had brought them all together.

Armin was not okay, but he knew that in time, he would be alright. The past was hard to move on from, but with Erwin and Levi, Armin already felt himself opening up to them, and trusting them. Erwin was a man of his word, and Armin was confident that Erwin would find Eren, and adopt him. Armin looked forwards to the day he would see Eren again, and Mikasa. He wasn’t looking forwards to school, but he knew he’d have to attend a public school at some point…or a private school when the money from the trial came in. Erwin was going to win the lawsuits. They would be rich one day, and that would alleviate a lot of financial strain but for right now, Armin was happy that he wasn’t hungry anymore.

As horrible of a beginning Armin had, he would lead a happy life.


End file.
